A Hillbilly Christmas

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FC: A Hillbilly Christmas

1: A Redneck Christmas | by Wg 2073

2: It was the night before Christmas, when all through the shed, not a creature was stirring, not even a rat.

3: The stockings were laid by the gun rack with care, in hopes that St. Nick soon would be there.

4: The young-uns' all nestled snug in their beds, whiles visions of hunting trips danced in their heads.

5: With Ma in her kerchief and me in my overalls, had just fallen into an easy chair for a long winters snooze.

6: When out on the trailer park there arose such a clatter, I sprang from the recliner to to see what was the matter.

7: Away to the window I flew like NASCAR, I tore open the shutter and threw up the sash.

8: The moon shining down on trash scattered below, gave the luster of mid-day to trailers covered with snow.

9: And what to my wondering eyes should appear, but a battered old big rig with eight tiny buck deer.

10: And then in a twinkling, I heard on the tin roof, a terrible noise made by each little hoof.

11: As I drew my head in, hitting it with an 'ouch', through the roof St. Nicholas fell on the couch.

12: He was dressed all in plaid from his head to his shoes, and his clothes were all dirty from ashes and food

13: A bundle of ammo he had flung on his back, he looked quite like Rambo, opening his pack.

14: The stump of a pipe he held in his tooth, and the smoke blew in my face with a whoosh

15: He had a round face and a huge belly, that shook when he fell from the roof like jelly.

16: He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work, And filled all the stockings with guns and beef jerky.

17: And laying a finger aside of his nose, and letting out a belch, up the hole in the roof he rose.

18: He sprang to his semi, to his team a whistle, and away they all flew like the down of a thistle.

19: But I heard him yell out as he drove out of sight, Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.