S: Sippin' Coffee on PePaw's Knee
FC: Sippin' Coffee On Pepaw's Knee | Compiled and Edited by LaRonda Haymon
1: This book is dedicated to the most wonderful grandparents ever!! In loving memory: Our precious Grandmother, Leila M. Marshall. She is the one who wanted to see these stories in print. In 2001 she had Pepaw to write in his own handwriting these stories and mailed them to LaRonda Ellard Haymon to publish. We will never stop missing you and treasure every precious memory. You make us want to go to Heaven all the more! To our wonderful Grandfather: Rev. Tom G. Marshall. Thank you for always taking time to make memories with each of the grands and great-grands. Every one of us have sat on your knee to “sip coffee with Pepaw”, and to hear captivating, fascinating “tall tales.” Thank you for such fun memories, but more importantly, for the great example of living your life before us in complete service to the Lord. We have affectionately called them: Grandmother and Papaw, Me maw and Pepaw, and Me maw Marshmallow and Pepaw Bubba | Your “Grands”: TaJuana Ellard (and Steven Cantu) LaRonda Ellard (and Don Haymon) Datha Delmas (and David Gainey) Gene Delmas (and Beth Bennett) Alison Ellard (and Sam Kelly) Kayla Delmas Tania Marshall (and Andrew Brewer) Tara Marshall (and Dave DiFrancesca) Ryan Graves (and K’ann Howard) Taylor Marshall (and Josh Hadnot) Reid Graves | Your “Great-Grands”: Ana Cantu (and Jason Smith) Alyssa Cantu Don Haymon, III Jared Haymon Brently Gainey Adrianna Delmas Loren Kelly Nathan Cantu DeLana Haymon Benjamin Gainey Dylan Delmas Cullen Kelly Joey Marshall Frankie DiFrancesca | D e d i c a t i o n
2: Once in a far away land there was an elephant feeding in the wild fields, upon a hill. He was the biggest elephant I ever saw! His name was Big Joe. This elephant decided that he wanted a drink of water, so he went down to the lake below and started drinking. He saw two fishermen, Big Bubba and Little Bubba, in a boat. This was his drinking water and he was not very happy to have people fishing in it. He said to himself, “I’ll show them a thing or two!’’ He threw back his big trunk into the water and soon he had sucked the lake dry! | Big Joe The Elephant
3: What happened to Big Bubba and Little Bubba? Here they came, walking out on dry ground and they had to leave their boat in the middle of the lake. They didn’t catch much that day and they were madder than a wet hen. The elephant started back up the hill, but he was so full he could hardly walk. Finally he made it to the top. About that time, Mother Nature started bothering him. He threw his big old trunk in the air and started blowing water into the valley. Soon the valley was flooded. People had to get on top of their houses and some climbed trees. Big Bubba and Little Bubba were able to use their boat to go get help. Soon the National Guard came and they were able to rescue everyone. Some were rescued by boats and some by helicopters. Now you know how this elephant got his name. He was named Big Joe because he had to go!
4: The weather was just right. Geese were coming in from the cold north; hundreds and thousands of geese. It was a beautiful sight! Every year they would come to those feeding grounds. They were different colors. These geese would fly in a v-shape pattern. When they got to the feeding ground, they would put on their brakes and start coming down. Oh what a sight! | We would hide in a hedge row or in a ditch and come out shooting with our bazooka guns. Sometimes, you would knock them down; sometimes they all just flew away. We wanted to take the shells back to Wal-Mart; we thought they were no good. | “South Texas Hunting: Geese, Skunk and Coon”
5: One day we noticed a path on the ground; it was covered with “coon” (raccoon) tracks. I said, “Boys, let’s go coon hunting.” We borrowed some steel coon traps. I told the boys, “We are going to set these traps and catch a coon!” They had never heard of catching a coon with a trap. You put the trap on the path where the tracks are, and sprinkle some corn on the ground and in the trap. The coon would then come eat the corn and walk into the trap. Early the next morning, we went to the field to see if we had caught a coon. I called, “Hey boys, look at that coon. He is trying to get away but his foot is in the trap.” Then we saw a skunk in one of our traps. The little boy said, “Wow, I smell something!” It was that skunk, he shot his bazooka gun at us and the little boy could hardly get his breath. We shot that skunk, but his weapon was so strong that the geese flew away and we had to change hunting grounds. We took the coons and the geese home, and then showed Mom and Dad. We left the skunk, but he sent his smell with us. They took pictures. We had fun! Paul Harvey can tell “the rest of the story.”
6: What is a Skunk? The dictionary describes it as a small bushy tailed mammal having black fur with stripes down the back. It ejects a fowl smelling liquid when bothered. You see them in the woods and sometimes around the house or the barn. What a beautiful creature. | One day, I got my bazooka gun and went into the woods. I took my dog with me; old Spot was raring to go. He could smell a skunk a mile away well, almost. I waited around a while for two boys to join me, and finally, here they came. They woke up a little late. We sat down and began to eat our lunch and drink our Starbucks coffee. | Let's Go Skunk Hunting”
7: About that time old Spot started barking. When old Spot barked it was either a skunk or an elephant. But there was no elephant in these woods, so here we go, following old Spot. We found ourselves running through the woods. We jumped a covey of ducks, oh how these birds could fly: about a hundred miles an hour, almost. An old hoot owl hollered at us and then flew away. Our hair stood straight up, we were so scared. About that time, old Spot started barking again. “Let’s go boys; he will soon catch that skunk.” Old Spot started barking like a girl dog, it sounded like he was hurting. When we got close enough, we saw old spot rolling on the ground. He was crying like a baby. | When we got home, Mother and Dad would not let us in the house. We had to bury our clothes and spray each other with a water hose. In a few days, we went back to see what happened to that skunk. The stump was dead, and the skunk was gone. We then wondered, which stunk the most; the stump or the skunk? | What had happened: That skunk was sitting on a stump laughing at us. What a weapon he had. That skunk sprayed us with his bazooka. It must have come from Paris, France; it was loud and strong. We couldn’t get no one to help us skin that skunk, so we just shot him with my bazooka gun and ran as fast as we could.
8: “Pepaw's Trip to the Milky Way” | What an experience!! You must start making plans several days before take-off. 1. Take your Bazooka gun 2. Pack plenty of warm clothes: It is so cold it would freeze the horns off a Billy goat. Even polar bears had fur coats on. 3. Take plenty to eat: collard greens, hot dogs, red peppers, RC colas, moon pies, a few snickers and plenty of milk, since there are no cows up there. 4. Be sure to check your Land Rover Jeep: good tires, plenty of gas and oil.
9: About that time, I woke up from my dream; I was at home in my bed in Mississippi. I jumped up and fixed me a cup of Starbucks coffee and was so glad it was a dream! | The time I went to the Milky Way, I took two boys with me; I picked them up in Denver, Colorado. Did we ever have fun! Did I tell you about having a flat on the Rover Jeep while driving down the Milky Way? We had a time fixing that flat. We were about ready to go again, and I slipped off the Milky Way and landed on the Moon. It was so different! Not near so cold, but I had no way to travel. | I looked up and saw an elephant! Luckily, I had some rope in my back pocket. I caught that elephant but he wouldn’t let me ride him. He took his big trunk and threw me off the moon. | I landed on the sun and it blistered my feet. I jumped off the sun, and landed somewhere between Cuba and Miami, Florida. I swam one hundred miles and came to Miami, Florida. I called Denver and the boys had already gotten home.
10: This is a little like a “Believe it or not” story, but you must believe that the bazooka gun is a bad gun. | It was many years ago, I (Pepaw) got hold of a single barrel twelve gauge shotgun. It was an Iver Johnson. It would shoot long shells or short shells, big shots or little shots. I was glad to go hunting with anybody, with my new Iver Johnson. | “The Bazooka Story”
11: In those days, everybody was trying to put meat on the table. We ate what we killed, all but the skunk. If you ate the skunk, he would leave a bad taste in your mouth. I went duck hunting with my new gun, at right about day break. Ducks were everywhere. I climbed up in a tree and got in a fifty five gallon drum. A boy had climbed up in this tree and tied the drum to it so that you could get down inside of it and the ducks could not see you. Here came the ducks, so close to me that I started shooting and didn’t stop until my buddy on the ground said, “That’s enough, we got our limit.” We had a few to share with the Game Warden, I mean with my neighbor. When I looked at my Iver Johnson, the barrel was busted. I had to saw the barrel off about one inch. After that it was a “splatter” gun I could shoot from the hip. Rabbits and squirrels hardly ever got away. Today I call my Iver Johnson a bazooka gun. I put it away in my closet to keep safe until I get a chance to go hunting with my two “Bubba’s” from Denver.
12: In south Texas there was a little boy who did not want to ride the school bus. He told them, “I can run faster than the bus!” He got ahead of the bus and was running so fast that he kicked up dust and rocks and broke the windshield on the school bus. The boy missed the bridge and started swimming in the river. He was doing fine, still ahead of the bus, and then he saw an alligator with its mouth wide open. He knew he was a good swimmer but when he saw that alligator, he put it in third gear. The alligator was getting closer and closer. The boy said, “What do you want?” The alligator said, “I want my dinner.” The boy remembered that he could swim underwater, so he went under and all we could see were bubbles coming up out of the water. The next thing we saw was him at the boat dock. | “The School Bus and the Alligator”
13: He went home, got a stick of dynamite, came back to the river, called that alligator up, and put the stick of dynamite in its mouth. Then he said, “There’s your dessert!” Bye, Bye alligator! The boy went on to school; when he got there, he found all of the students lined up taking turns using the bathroom. He smelled something like a paper mill and found out that for some of them it was too late. When one little boy got home, he started telling his Mom and Dad the story of what happened, his younger brother was all eyes and ears. He asked “What happened to the alligator?” | Ryan did you make an A in school today?
14: Old Dan Tucker gone to town, riding a Billy goat leading a hound. The old hound barked, the Billy goat jumped, knocked Dan Tucker right straddle a stump. | The skunk sat on the stump and stunk. Which one stunk, the skunk or the stump? | Two of Pepaw's Favorite Ditties