S: Zayda's Book
1: Zayda means family. Zayda means devotion. Reliability. Love. Zayda means always being there for your family and friends. Zayda means baal chessed, a man of the community. But not boastful or showy. A quiet man. A humble man. Quiet strength. Zayda grew up working hard and with the love and devotion of an older brother to show him the way. Zayda kept working hard to support his family. He held a lifelong commitment to his job. Off to work when most people were going to bed, and back when the sun was rising. A hard job, but he did it well, and he did it with pride. That was who Zayda was as a worker, as a baker. As a husband, as a family man, his loyalty and devotion were just the tip of the iceberg. His unbounded love and penchant for giving, his quiet strength and warm embraces, that was Zayda the family man. From raising his four children, and then spoiling his grandchildren, he was the leader that led the pack. He guided the actions of his progeny by making sure his actions were pristine. He led as a good leader should – by example, by action. As a friend, there was none that surpassed the attention given by this particular friend. A member of a lifelong group of friends lovingly called “the gang”, Zayda’s giving knew no limits. As a man of the community, he helped build the shul, the school, without any desire for accolades or the spotlight. Quiet. Humble. Strong. This book is a collection of pictures, memories, and anecdotes. Its purpose is so that you may know the source of these qualities in this family line. Its purpose is so that you can know the man who started this legacy, the man who gave you your name. Its purpose is so that you can read this today, and 20 years from now, and say, “hey- that sounds like me,” and know why. Its purpose is so that you can read this and draw strength from his strength, draw wisdom from his wisdom. You can strive for all the good that was Zayda, and be it. Because he gave you your name and traits that go with it. Because he taught us how to be and now it is your turn to learn. And that is the mark of true greatness in this world: when one passes on and returns to G-d and leaves the rest of us behind living our lives trying to emulate him. That is Zayda’s legacy and we want you to know it. | Zayda means family. Zayda means devotion. Reliability. Love. Zayda means always being there for your family and friends. Zayda means baal chessed, a man of the community. But not boastful or showy. A quiet man. A humble man. Quiet strength. Zayda grew up working hard, surrounded by his family. After Zayda was married, he kept working hard to support his own family. He held a lifelong commitment to his job. Off to work when most people were going to bed, and back when the sun was high in the sky. A hard job, but he did it well, and he did it with pride. That was who Zayda was as a worker, as a baker. As a husband, as a family man, his loyalty and devotion were just the tip of the iceberg. His unbounded love and penchant for giving, his quiet strength and warm embraces, that was Zayda the family man. From raising his four children, and then spoiling his grandchildren, he was the leader that led the pack. He guided the actions of his progeny by making sure his actions were pristine. He led as a good leader should – by example, by action. As a friend, there was none that surpassed the attention given by this particular friend. A member of a lifelong group of friends lovingly called “the gang”, Zayda’s giving knew no limits. As a man of the community, he helped build the shul, the school, without any desire for accolades or the spotlight. Quiet. Humble. Strong. This book is a collection of pictures, memories, and anecdotes. Its purpose is so that you may know the source of these qualities in this family line. Its purpose is so that you can know the man who started this legacy, the man who gave you your name. Its purpose is so that you can read this today, and 20 years from now, and say, “hey - that sounds like me,” and know why. Its purpose is so that you can read this and draw strength from his strength, draw wisdom from his wisdom. You can strive for all the good that was Zayda, and be it. Because he gave you your name and traits that go with it. Because he taught us how to be and now it is your turn to learn. And that is the mark of true greatness in this world: when one passes on and returns to G-d and leaves the rest of us behind living our lives trying to emulate him. That is Zayda’s legacy and we want you to know it. | Legacy | Shuki Harow | Yehoshua Harow | Yehoshua Kashnow | Yehoshua Adam Kashnow | Yehoshua Rothman | Yehoshua Hack | Noam Yehoshua Deutsch | Yehoshua Nissim Kashnow | Noam Yehoshua Deutsch
2: Zayda's Maternal Grandparents: Raizel & Yehoshua Swartz "Yehoshua haSofer" | Zayda's family: David, Louis, Gilda, Ida, Zayda, Murray, and Bubbie Raizel | The Mlotzkys: : Louis, Hinda Esther, Harry, and Bubba | History | Zayda's Paternal Grandparents: ? & Yisrael Kashnow
3: Zayda was born on November 25, 1922, to Aryeh Leib (Louis) and Chaya Tzipporah (Ida) in Worcester, Massachusetts. He was named after his mother’s father Yehoshua haSofer, Yehoshua Swartz. Zayda was the youngest of four – the eldest was Dovid Nachum (Dave), then came Golda Perel (Gilda), and then Moshe (Murray). Zayda’s paternal grandparents were from Kishenev, hence the name Kashnow. Zayda grew up in the family bakery - Kashnow’s Modern Bakery. As a baby, he took his naps on a flour sack. When he was in the 5th grade, he left school and worked alongside his father, his mother, and brothers and sister to help support the family. Zayda’s mother died when he was only 11 years old. Zayda hung out with a close group of friends – one of those friends was Bubba. They met when they were only around 15 years old, and married when they were 19, on February 15, 1942. Zayda left soon after the wedding to join the army. Uncle Howie was born in 1943 when Zayda was away. Zayda first saw his son on a leave before going overseas when Howie was a few months old. He came back from the army when Howie was almost three years old. Bubbie came three years after Howie in 1947. Auntie Nita was born in 1950, and Uncle Dovid in 1956. Zayda worked as a baker in various Worcester bakeries for his whole life. He baked all night – he went to work at 2:ooAM, and returned after ten in the morning. Zayda spent his spare time with his family, helping his friends, and building the Jewish community in Worcester. Zayda’s family was his pride and joy. His life revolved around them. Without realizing the impact he made, his midot and his actions were a strong chinuch tool for educating his progeny on how to live their lives. And in that, he lives in all of us. Those who remember Zayda have the memories. Those who don’t have the zechut of remembering him have the lessons that he carved on each of his family members. Those lessons get passed down to each of his offspring (and even to those who marry them), and, in turn, get carved on each of them. Zayda’s brand.
4: ____________________________________________________________ | And then came Bubba... | Bubba worked in the front of a bakery when she was a teenager. She was talking to a friend about an upcoming Jewish youth event. Uncle Murray was working in the back of the same bakery and overheard the exchange. | He suggested to Bubba that she take his brother, Sam, to the event. The date was set up, and so began a long and beautiful saga...
6: "Zayda was a lesson to us all in how to love your family" --Tzvi
8: FAMILIES ARE FOREVER | Sons & | My mother (Nita) describes mornings when she was younger as times that she and her siblings had to tiptoe quietly around the house so as not to wake Zayda. He worked all night long in the bakery making fresh bread and bagels, and other pastries, so that customers would have freshly baked food in the morning. It could not have been easy to work all night. But it was his job, so Zayda did it. --Kayla | "To Zayda, Family was always the most important thing." --Frummie
10: Zayde was a plain man. He did not see himself as special or outstanding in any way. But he was! He went about his daily life, did his work, took care of his family and just simply did what was right each day. But that is not simple! Zayde did not look for “credit” for his actions. He just tried to do what he could. He didn’t wait to be asked to help...he just “did”. That might not sound like much...but Zayde made a difference in the lives of people around him. Zayde was a mensch. He was very kind and caring towards his family, his friends and the community at large and he guided his life by V’ahavtah l’reyacha kamocha...love your fellow as yourself. He shared what he had with those who had need. Here you can refer back to Rock's mention of an air conditioner...that story had to do with a new immigrant family who were suffering from the heat of the summer. Zayde heard about and resolved their problem. The story “leaked” a bit within our family, but no one outside ever knew. That was the way Zayde did things; quickly and quietly. As a girl, when I had a meeting or event to go to, I never had to call around and find a ride as my friends did. Zayde was ready to take me and waiting to bring me home...and he was willing to take any and all of the other kids. He made time to do what we wanted, (ask me about Narragansett Pier sometime) not just what we needed...and between the four of us kids, we always needed something! Which brings us to the story of “Why Zayde taught Bubba to drive”...but that is a story for another day. Zayde had a strong sense of right and wrong. If something was “wrong", Zayde wanted to see it made right.
11: You know that Zayde worked as a baker. But did you know he was the “shop steward”? He was elected by all the other bakers to be their spokesman. Zayde was not afraid to speak up when something was not right. He was not afraid to stand up for what he believed in and he did not begrudge time or effort when it came to accomplishing what was right. Whenever there was any complaint or problem to be dealt with, Zayde was the man all the workers turned to. Zayde was an honorable man...his word was his bond...when he gave his word you could count on it. Zayde was not a judgmental man. He didn’t judge others and he didn’t value people by their finances or appearances. No one ever doubted that,to Zayde, family was always the most important thing. Zayde was a very smart guy...he knew a good thing when he saw it. Before he met Bubba he had never “dated” anyone. From the time he met Bubba he never dated anyone else. Bubba had lived a very different life. Where Zayde was part and parcel of the hard working life of his family in the bakery, Bubba was the pampered “baby” in her hardworking family. Where Zayde’s family had to focus on getting through the work of each day, Bubba’s family was focused on getting through each week... to Shabbos. Though Zayde’s mother had passed away when he was young, Bubba’s mother became a mother to him...and he was a true son to her, buying her favorite sweets just for her and always treating her with the utmost respect and love. They lived together for all the years in one house...close quarters and close family. Zayde taught his children that what really matters are the good deeds we do, the love we show to others, and the light we bring into the world. Though Zayde is no longer here with us, the impact he had on us is everlasting. --Frummie
12: Bubba and Zayda were married on February 15, 1942. Zayda was drafted into the U.S. Army a few months later, and, after very basic training, was scheduled to be shipped out overseas with his platoon around January, 1943. As it turned out, Hashem had other (better) plans for Zayda. Zayda developed very serious problems with his teeth, so serious that the army decided that he could not go overseas to fight a war with such a messed up mouth. They decided (a few days before the platoon was supposed to go to Europe) that he would not ship out with his platoon, but, instead, would remain in the States for a few months while he had dental work done at the base. Bubba was a few months pregnant by this time. So, Zayda had his teeth fixed. Big deal. The world goes on. What's this big Miracle? When Zayda was well enough to join his platoon, he learned that he would be joining a different group of warriors because his platoon had left the States on schedule two months prior, and, unfortunately, ZAYDA'S ENTIRE PLATOON, EVERY LAST SOLDIER, WAS KILLED IN AN AMBUSH even before they were able to join up with the army in Europe. Zayda's bad teeth had clearly saved his life by keeping him in the U.S.! Zayda was our miracle. Zayda went off to Europe to fight in the war. During the war, Zayda was seriously injured and was awarded a medal, the Purple Heart. Zayda also became the Mess Sergeant for his platoon. That meant that he was the head chef and head baker. To further show you how humble a man your Zayda was, here is what he told me when I asked him about his Purple Heart and why he was awarded it. He told me that he received a small cut on his finger while peeling an onion, and that's why he got the Purple Heart. Believe me, the Army doesn't give medals for that type of injury, but, Zayda was never one to toot his own horn. Zayda came home from the army shortly before my third birthday. The army sent him a check for what they called "bail out" money. He took all of that money and spent it on a new chair for
13: his mother-in-law, a major appliance for his wife to make her life easier, and a movie camera to take pictures of me! Zayda always took care of everyone else first...that's just the way he was. Then, if anything was left over, maybe there'd be something for him. Zayda was second to none. The sweetest man in the world. Would, and did, do anything for anyone. Zayda had a work ethic that was unbelievable. Dad came home from work every day exhausted. Anywhere from 11:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m. He went to work before midnight. He came home, had something to eat, and, before he'd go lay down for a nap, he'd check up on Bubba's mother, my Bubba. That included - twice a week -checking her medicine supplies to make sure she had plenty of what she needed. If not, he would immediately go to the drug store to replenish. One of my major goals as an 8 or 9 year old kid was to prove to my dad that I was old enough and responsible enough to take that job off his shoulders. That I could check my Bobbie's medicines and, if she needed any, I could get on my bike and go get them so she would never run out. That, I figured, would gain me so many mitzvah points...after all, I'd be taking care of Bobbie's pills and taking a big job off of Dad's shoulders. He could then come home and go to sleep after work...right away. I figured that this alone would guarantee me the Kingdom of Heaven! Finally, he agreed that it would be my job. Years later, I came to realize that he was still checking the meds supplies behind my back. Sure he trusted me to do it to the best of my ability. But I guess he felt it was still his responsibility. He never let me know he was checking up on me, though. He was the best of the best! --Howie
15: IT'S NOT WHAT WE HAVE IN OUR LIFE, BUT WHO WE HAVE IN OUR LIFE THAT COUNTS. - J. M. Laurence | Grandchildren
16: Zayda was a real mentsche. If someone needed something, or was lacking some important item, Zayda would just get it for them with the utmost of haste. If someone needed an air conditioner for example, Zayda would buy it, bring it to the house and install it for them. He was an unconditional baal chessed, without the need or desire for recognition or accolades. This is a great example to us all, to do for the sake of doing, not for reward. His reward was the act, helping his fellow man, knowing the right thing to do, and just doing it. He was the original Nike commercial. Zayda took so much pride in his family, especially us grandchildren. We were the apple of his eye, and felt so much love from him. Every year, after the last day of school, Zayda would pick us up after work, he worked late at night - into the day - and would take us to Friendly's for anything we wanted in the ice cream department. We would get giant sundaes and banana splits, and eat them till we were about to burst. Then he would finish whatever we left, and would take us to his house to play, and be further indulged by Bubba for hours. As I grew up, I knew that all I had to do when faced with a dilemma was to consider what Zayda would do, and I knew the right thing to do. --Rock | Zayda was such a huge rock of the family, it's hard to chip pieces of him off in description. He rarely raised his voice, but you knew if he was displeased by his tone and you stopped what you were doing at that cue. Because disappointing him was painful for us... Zayda was as reliable as a clock. If you asked for something, it was done, often way before you needed it. He was also the warmest, kindest man to others as well. People gravitated towards him, and he enjoyed lifelong friends in his "gang" who treated us kids as their own. --Chanoch | "He was the original Nike commercial" --Rock
17: Zayda was fresh challahs on Friday (with jelly beans or chocolate chips!). Zayda was a bowl of ice cream while watching TV. Zayda was an illusionist, pumping up his arm muscle by blowing on his thumb. Zayda was Pesach with the family. Zayda was a strike at Colonial Bowl. Zayda was Sunday morning visits and fresh pancakes. Zayda was a fisherman’s hat. Zayda was Thanksgiving. Zayda was a lesson in being a pillar of your community. Zayda was a lesson to us all in how to love your family. --Tzvi | Happiness
18: Thanksgiving Day is a well-known vacation day in America. People gather together, eat turkey, and enjoy football games and parades. For us in the Kashnow family, it is also a day to get together. We also serve turkey, and we play football. But for us, it was also the day that we celebrated Zayda’s birthday. I don’t remember knowing the exact date in November that Zayda was born, but Thanksgiving was close enough to the day and people were off from school and work, so we got together to celebrate. Although this was not the only time each year that we saw family, it was the most dependable. We knew that it was a day to see aunts, uncles, cousins and – of course – Bubba and Zayda. If you look at pictures, there is always the annual candle-blowing picture with Zayda in front of the cake surrounded by grandchildren. Although Zayda isn’t here to blow out the candles on a cake, we still gather on Thanksgiving. The event has moved from Worcester to New York, some of the cousins are too far to attend, but we still eat good food and play ball. Thanksgiving has become a day that represents family. More than that, it is a day to honor Zayda and Bubba, the patriarch and matriarch of our beautiful family, and all that they have built. --Kayla
19: (This is part of the speech Reuven gave at Shuki's brit) In Parshat Shlach perek 13 pasuk 16 it says: "Eleh shemot ha'anashim asher shalach Moshe latur et ha'aretz vayikra Moshe leHoshea ben Nun Yehoshua." Rashi comments that Moshe added the letter “yud” to Hoshea so that his name would begin with the same letter as Hashem’s name. Moshe prayed that Yehoshua would be saved from the sin of the Meraglim. Targum Yonatan comments that the reason Moshe prayed for Yehoshua was because he was concerned that Yehoshua's humility might cause him to be susceptible to the guidance of his fellow spies. The Chafetz Chayim disagrees. He muses that the reason Moshe prayed for Yehoshua and not for Calev was because Moshe knew that Calev was politically astute, and would know when to keep his mouth shut, especially around ten hostile spies. However, Moshe was concerned that Yehoshua might vehemently disagree with the libeling of Eretz Yisrael by the spies, and speak up against them. Moshe feared that the other spies would possibly kill Yehoshua. The connotations of the name Yehoshua are quite powerful: 1) Request from Moshe directly to H-shem to create the name Yehoshua 2) Yud from shem H-shem 3) Humility 4) Unswayable belief in speaking the truth and the inner strength to protest slander These qualities were all clearly found in Zayda. As a baker he lived a life of humility (unless you count the audacity to mix the colored breads together for a technicolor loaf). Personal achievements were unnecessary for him. He devoted his life to his family and took pride in their accomplishments. To be able to name a child of mine the name of Yehoshua gives me tremendous pride. May all the Yehoshuas in the family strive to live up to Zayda’s name and use him as a role model for their lives. --Reuven | "Zayda was not afraid to speak up when something was not right" --Frummie
20: You can't think of Zayda without his delicious baking coming to mind, but what stands out the most was his warm smile and strong embrace. Zayda always had a quiet strength about him. He was a strong presence, but never in the spotlight. He was funny in a silly kind of a way. He had a mischievous side to him that always got him yelled at by Bubba from the other room. He loved to make us smile and laugh even if it was something that an "adult" shouldn't do. I always remember Zayda pretending to eat our ears with his "teeth" (dentures) and then his teeth would come flying out at us! He loved putting delicious surprises in his bread for us all to find, just to make us all happy. No matter how many years go by, I will always go into Bubba and Zayda's house and imagine him sitting in his corner chair waiting to greet us with that warm smile of his and that strong embrace that you felt he had only for you! --Miriam
21: When I think of Zayda, I always remember him grabbing my hand and placing my wrist between his first two fingers so that I couldn't get away, not that I was really trying. I remember going under his tallis on the holidays with my brothers and cousins. It was hot under there and crowded and everyone was sweating but it was comfortable. I remember one glass of soda with dinner and still I don't know if it was because it was expensive or not good for me, maybe both. I remember a short, hardworking man, with a unique walk, kinda like me, and he always put his family first. He gave me a great example that I try to follow. --Scott
22: The Gang
23: IN MEMORY OF SAM KASHNOW By Adie Kazarnovsky I HEREBY TAKE UPON MYSELF TO FULFILL THE MITZVAH, “LOVE YOUR FELLOW MAN AS YOURSELF” This posek is found before “Ma tovu", in the siddur, at the beginning of the Shacharis davening. It describes perfectly what kind of an individual Sam Kashnow, a"h, portrayed to me. Sam put other people even before himself. You know how we all have a very busy schedule? Every day we have this to do and that to do. We get so wrapped up in our “things to do” that unknowingly we put helping out other people on the back burner. We do our own thing today and our neighbor’s thing tomorrow. Sam Kashnow, a"h, was so devoted to the other person (no matter whom he/she may be) that he put his own time, his own strength, his own responsibilities second, and did for his neighbor first. The words “NO” or “LATER” were not part of his vocabulary. He was a dear friend to many of us personally, in the Yeshiva and the shul and in his work. I’m sure in shamayim he will intercede on behalf of Ruthie (G-d bless her), his children, grandchildren, and great grandson, and for all of us, that we should have a life filled with good health and happiness. We Miss You So Much Yehoshua ben Aryeh Leib HaLevi, z"l
24: "And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count.
25: he would be so proud | It's the life in your years." --Abraham Lincoln