BC: The End
1: Friends are the family we choose for ourselves. Edna Buchanan
2: Peggy Boldt | Thank you for providing this opportunity to share with you what your mom's friendship means to me. I met your mom through your brother Richard and my son Tim. They were in the same preschool class together at the B.J.E. in Indianapolis and became fast friends. As is often the case, when your children find playmates they like, the parents usually hit it off as well. Because your mom and I were "stay at home moms" Richard and Tim started sharing play dates and before long your mom invited me to stay for lunch and or tea (she always used a very nice china teapot and china cups and saucers - I was impressed!) While we would have tea, Richard and Tim would play in the basement and you and Matthew would play nearby. Your mom and I always had a great time together and never ran out of things to talk about. I've always felt very comfortable with your mom, as neither of us puts on airs. | When your family moved to Virginia, Elizabeth and I made a point of staying in touch and our family was lucky enough to make a couple of trips to DC enabling us to get together. We've had many long phone conversations in the last 20 plus years and I feel as though I could talk about anything with her. We laugh, we might cry, we catch up on family members, and generally pick-up right where we left off and I always feel better after I've talked with her.
3: I will always be grateful for her genuine compassion and generosity. She is a wonderful friend. | After our son Tim died, your mom and I talked more often and sometimes she just let me cry and I knew she understood my loss. | Love, Peggy Boldt 12/6/12
4: Here are some pictures of my visit to Virginia in 2001. One of the happiest times of my life.
5: Love always, Mary Ellen Clark | Dear Elizabeth, I don't see you very much but I think of you often. I consider you a very dear friend and a special person in my life.
7: My father had died not long before this conversation, and I was telling E some of the stories he'd told me while he was in hospice, snippets that revealed his humor, intelligence, and love for his family and others. Elizabeth in turn told me about her memories of her mother that showed her strength of character and wisdom. Elizabeth and I decided then that we would write a missive for our children recounting all of these stories to remind you and Richard, and James and Cait, of your unique, awesome forbears. | Xan, your letter asking for memories of times I've shared with Elizabeth reminds me of a conversation she and I once had when we'd meet to talk over what was happening in our lives, as we often do. | Donna Verdier
8: We haven't gotten around to writing down the words, but we will. Yet you have already marshaled your forces—Elizabeth's friends—and set us on a mission to do much the same that E and I vowed to do: pay tribute to someone much loved and always in mind. I know Elizabeth will be deeply touched, and she'll be proud of you. Here you are, deep into your first pregnancy, and you putting together something big and important for someone else. How loving—how organized! How very easy to believe Elizabeth raised you. Here's a remembrance that explains why Elizabeth and I meet frequently to talk about what's happening in our lives. l met Elizabeth and David in a book group that Claudia organized, but I didn't get to know E well until Claudia was dying. I watched Elizabeth give Claudia comfort in countless ways, every day. She was steadfast. I knew the value of what I was seeing: love strong enough to withstand the slings and arrows that confront us in life, and to ease the passage into death. That's friendship of the highest order.
9: Elizabeth and I became good friends during that time. We talked, we shared our sorrow. We found kinship in our experiences and in our approach to life. In the time we've been friends, we've shared a lot more than sorrow. | Oh, the joy we share at becoming grandmas, for example! And at being mothers of spectacular children! So many other in-between events and emotions that I've shared with Elizabeth crowd my mind—I can't list them all, without taking up an inordinate portion of your book. I won't do that. I'll just remember them and smile. And as we go through more of the in-between times, I'll be happy to have Elizabeth's good humor and good advice. I don't know what I'd do without it. | Sure wish E had been in Vieques today to see the wild horses on the beach here at our cabin. A foal lay down on the sand, turned on his back, and kicked his legs in the air. Funny critter. Elizabeth would have laughed with me.
10: Hyun-Ae Turner | Ruth Godsey | Memories of my Dearest Friend:
11: I think about when we first met at Methodist Hospital Hospice in Indianapolis. You came to volunteer and I was delighted to meet you. It was as if I had always known you. You made so many significant contributions to the program. Our friendship grew. I think of evenings when I picked up David at the Star News and then Chinese take out at Yen Cheng. You would meet us at the door. Richard and then Xan were such a delight. I remember Xanie's colic and holding and walking with her. Other special times come to mind: sharing tea, baking delicate bread together and going to Quaker Sunday meetings. North Carolina memories of our visit with you and David include exploring Asheville, Hendersonville, Flat Rock, North Carolina Arboretum, Biltmore and the Blueridge Parkway. What a blast! | Most recently your visit to Indianapolis came just when I needed most to see you. It is always such a joy to be your friend.
12: I had done a great deal of work but every time Elizabeth wanted to place it under a certain title for a course, I would say to her, "No, I am saving that book or that author or that for a different course." It was as if I couldn't delineate anything because there were so many overlaps that I kept assuming I had to keep them for something. I was unable to sort through my information and code it for the courses. Elizabeth had to do it for me - literally, she sat at my computer and keyed in my courses for me and created the document that allowed me to move forward. It has now been a full twenty years since then; we are both clinicians, we both have private practices and we meet regularly at Politics and Prose for lunch and chats. | Most importantly, we continually remember the anniversary dates of the losses of our loved ones, and there have been many for both of us. | Elizabeth and I met in graduate school as we were pursuing our doctorates in clinical psychology at Union - it was probably 1988 or 1989. Our favorite story that we so often share is that Elizabeth came to help me with my Learning Agreement for Union, which was a huge project describing the courses that I would design for my study.
13: We call each other to say "I am thinking of you at this Thanksgiving time, for Elizabeth" and "I am thinking of you at this Hanukkah time" for me. We remember; we recall; we remind each other of the complexity of grieving and loving and caring, and making our ways into health through our various bouts with health and well-being. And of course, along the way, I have had a chance to hear all about her children's weddings, new jobs, trips to study Spanish, and the new flower emails and of course I get to receive the Christmas letter - all the ways in which I know about her family without ever having met any of you in person. | Most importantly, she is my beloved friend, and I wish her the best for this lovely present from her lovely daughter. xoxo, Wendy (Miller)
14: Patti Feuereisen | Memories and Thoughts about Elizabeth Haase!
15: I love my dear friend Elizabeth Haase. We met at a conference at Union Grad School about 25 years ago. I do not remember where the conference was or anyone else who was there I remember sitting under a tree with Elizabeth and having one of the deepest conversations and connections I have ever had. We talked about our mothers; Elizabeth talked about her many mothers. We talked about the fear of losing our mothers and what death looked like when you did lose a mother. We shared the intensity of the depth of love that a mother has for her daughter. She told me about Xan and Richard and how much she loved her children; she knew that I too would love my child with the same intensity. We sat under the tree for hours, we talked, we cried, we hugged, we laughed When my mother died 22 years later, Elizabeth was the first friend I reached out to she called me every day for at least two weeks. I can call Elizabeth out of the blue, or she will call me and honestly I can not remember what we talk about but we LAUGH AND LAUGH AND LAUGH. I love Elizabeth's laugh- she is such a special soul and my friend for ever. xoxo love Patti
16: Hey Elizabeth, Very wonderful memories in Maryland with you and Scott bird watching, the Chesapeake Bay, slow walks and talks with Richard and Zan along. Then lounging under the trees and later having milkshakes and playing cards. Very special to me.
17: Barb Haase | Springfield, VA 1993 | Christmas 1990
18: Other memories were at your old house in D.C., with wine or tea. I always think of you and tea, and all the many kinds in your cabinet, a tea shop. I think of the fast flourish of your arms as they produced dinner without a burn or your billowing sleeves on fire; and there was always a “real green salad” on the beautiful blue painted dishes from the small white corner cabinet. The comfortable lounging around the sofa, or red, ornate footed chair, or new blue admired oriental carpet after Thanksgiving dinner with Scott and then later the walks; these memories always will stay with me unless I get the dreaded disease. Elizabeth you were and still are the most gracious host.
19: June-July 1994, MO | August 1984
20: In Indiana, I came to visit and you drove a small, dark blue car and we all laughed because you hit every pot hole not intentionally and in D.C. you went over the curb, poor cars! In Iowa, we skipped out on the all day cleaning and went to the movies and got the family mad at us, and of course it was your fault (for being not Catholic). Well at least I pretended to be! And then there's Missouri and making Zan's quilt which you bought double the amount of insides, but it was the fluffiest quilt. I loved it and again you were in trouble with the family because they weren't invited to help and advise you, and you weren't Catholic.
21: Can't wait to see your book and what your other friends wrote. Barb Haase
22: Rene Koval Quear
23: My friendship with Elizabeth Turner Haase began at a children's park, Canterbury to be exact, the one next to the Monon railway before it was a trail, before Indianapolis was a cool place to live. We were two moms, two strollers, two babies aged six months. Our friendship had barely begun when it had to weather Elizabeth falling through my rickety sofa and then the Reagan/Carter election. From Elizabeth, I learned that when you take kids to the library, you check out 25 books, not five. I learned that riding an elephant at the zoo is a good idea when you and your close friend are both pregnant and are chasing after two toddlers.
24: I learned that being a stay-at-home mom is even better with a wonderful friend to share it with.. Elizabeth forgave me for giving birth first and leaving her pregnant for exactly three more weeks, and I forgave her for abandoning me and moving to Washington D.C. with that David guy. Elizabeth, you will always be in my contact list, and I hope I will be in yours! Picking up where we left off without missing a beat, even if it was a year before, is a constant that I will always value.
25: Now will you please move back to Indianapolis for Part Deux? Remember Rick's vision of two grandmothers, two strollers, two babies . . .
26: Remembrances of Elizabeth I have been trying to remember the very first time I saw Elizabeth M. Turner. I have racked my brain to no avail. I do know that we first met in the Fall of 1964, when my family moved from Pittsburgh, PA to Youngstown, OH. I had attended a private school in Pittsburgh and my parents tried to ease the transition to Youngstown by enrolling me in 8th grade at The Kennedy School. Elizabeth's parents owned and operated the school, a very small private school located near Wick Park in Youngstown. Somehow- I think at the urging of our mothers- Elizabeth and I started getting together on weekends. I remember we would go ice skating on the flooded tennis court across from the school and just basically hang-out together. Even after I graduated from the 8th grade- the last year you could attend The Kennedy School- (Elizabeth is a year younger than I) Elizabeth and I remained pretty fast friends. When Elizabeth's family moved to Ohio Street, we began our tradition of spending the night at each other's houses. The older sisters who lived in the lower level of the duplex building in which the Turners lived- would refer to Elizabeth and I as "Princess Elizabeth" and "Princess Margaret." As I would spend the night at Elizabeth's house- I remember we would play Crazy Eights and one night- we let Mrs. Turner play with us. That game should have been in the Guinness Book of Records as it went on and on- what seemed forever! I also remember listening to Tom Lehrer and his irreverent renditions of such songs as The Vatican Rag. That's about as racy as we got! When Elizabeth would come to my house for one of our over night sessions- she could never get past my Mother who would always ask her at least twenty questions: How are you Elizabeth? How are your parents? What's going on at school? It got to be kind of a joke that Elizabeth would have to go through the drill.
27: This is one of my wedding day- Elizabeth- obviously in the middle of the bridesmaids- July 13, 1974. | Elizabeth, me and my sister-in-law at a wedding shower in May of 1974.
28: She always brought her pajamas and any necessities with her in a paper bag. That kind of became the impetus for some jokes as well. I remember one time Elizabeth called and my brother answered the phone. When she said "Hello- this is Elizabeth"- my brother responded with "Elizabeth who?" Once when The Kennedy School went on a trip to Philadelphia, Elizabeth and I went along to "help." We were in high school then. I don't know how much "help" we were, but we had a great time in The City of Brotherly Love. Rich was assigned there to a Naval hospital so we hung out with him when he was able. Rich was a pretty nice guy. He would tell "Shaggy Dog" jokes that were real groaners. We ran all over Philadelphia looking at all the sites. The week before I left for Wittenberg University, I read in the "Youngstown Vindicator" that the division to which Rich Turner was assigned as a medic, came under heavy fire in Vietnam and that there were many casualties. I remember saying to my Mother that I must call Elizabeth. My Mother cautioned me to wait- because maybe Elizabeth and her family hadn't heard yet and this would only worry them. Unfortunately, Rich was one of the casualties. My heart ached for Elizabeth, for Dr. and Mrs. Turner. I always felt terrible that I was off to my freshman year in college- leaving my friend behind to mourn her brother's loss. I cannot enter the Christmas Season without thinking of how Elizabeth and I exchanged Christmas stockings each year. We would fill a stocking for each other and there was a five dollar limit on the contents of the stocking. We had a great deal of fun roaming through all of the inexpensive stores we could scavenge in downtown Youngstown along Federal Street. I remember such great finds as Evening in Paris Cologne and loads of glycerine-rose hand creams. Those aromas always bring about good memories!
29: Elizabeth was always such a supporter. She was true-blue to all of my Julie Andrews days. I cannot count how many times she trooped with me to see The Sound of Music. We pretty much knew that movie by heart. Elizabeth began a collection of autographs of famous people. I was a bit shy to do this and certainly didn't have the expertise that she had in getting people to actually send an autograph. | She most kindly wrote to Julie Andrews and obtained a personal autograph for me. I cherish it to this day- and am still a very avid Julie Andrews fan. Elizabeth was always there for me. She was one of my bridesmaids in my wedding on July 13, 1974. When my Mother died she was as broken hearted as I. She was so supportive through one of the worst times of my life. My parents always had a great affection for Elizabeth. We may not see each other very often in the last two or three decades, but when we do, we seem to be able to catch-up quickly and almost seem to take up where we left off the last time we saw each other. I have cherished Elizabeth's friendship for over 45 years! Oh my gosh - are we that old? No- we are just that great of friends. Love you my friend! Meg Heine
30: This picture is from 1970, obviously taken in the summertime, which means that I was probably about 16 years old and E was 18. We might even have been celebrating our birthdays, which are just 3 days apart.
31: Janice Vitullo | We were in Mill Creek Park, Lake Newport to be specific, and I took the picture. Please note the collar of the shirt; also, the round sunglasses. In the background is an original Volkswagen Beetle, which belonged to Isabelle. Everything tres cool!!! I remember thinking how beautiful ‘Liz’ was, both inside and out. She was my model, the big sister I would choose if I could. We came from vastly different worlds, her family being very well-educated and more financially advantaged than mine, yet our parents liked our mutual choice of friends; in fact, without their joint approval, there's no way we could have sustained our acquaintance, let alone friendship. From my parents’ point of view, I can only imagine they saw someone accomplished and privileged who wanted to be friends with their daughter, so it was kind of a no-brainer.
32: But from E's parents’ point of view, what could she gain from being friends with the daughter of a blue-collar worker and granddaughter of poor Italian immigrants with barely any education and no financial resources? Not until I was much older did I realize that this was the ideal that E's parents had worked for and believed in and sacrificed many worldly things to see come to fruition. I represented the potential of the working class, of poor immigrants, of undereducated people to be something else, to have choices. Given the chance of public education and the helping hands of people who believed in them, they would rise to the occasion and live full lives and contribute to the greater good. E's parents were and will always be heroes to me. They lived their beliefs and suffered for them and never for one moment made me feel that they were doing me a favor or that I was indebted to them in even the smallest way.
33: They are one of the many reasons why I love Elizabeth so much, because she has always embodied their beliefs and indeed has made them her own and lived her whole life according to them. There are a lot more reasons, but they will have to be told at another time.
34: Marlene Tandy, 12/7/11 | My first memory of your Mom is hearing from the other kids when I was in the Upper School at The Kennedy School (like 7th or 8th grade) that the Turners had a daughter who was a hippie! Remember this would have been around 1968-70. Shortly after that I saw your Mom - I think for the first time - when she and a friend of hers joined our school trip to New York and your Mom was wearing 'gladiator sandals'. I thought she looked so cool in them. So I asked my Mom if I could get a pair of them and I was told I was too young for them. As you know, your Mom is a couple years older than I am. | Would you believe that your Mom mentioned the gladiator sandals to me at your shower yesterday? Forty years and we still can't forget them. One of these years I'm going to buy a pair.
35: I knew your Mom was an extra special person some years later when my Mom trusted her to "grandma" sit my grandmother in Youngstown when we were out of town. As far as I can remember, no one else ever held that honor. I also was thrilled to attend your Mom and Dad's wedding. I remember thinking 'how romantic' - just like I thought at your wedding!
36: Fast forward some years to when I was in DC in medical school and your Mom and Dad were here in DC before they went to Indianapolis. Your Mom and I used to get together regularly then at the café in the National Gallery of Art. We had great talks. As always, your Mom's friendship helped me feel joyful and comfortable during a new and stressful time in my life. | I don't know how I would have survived my Mom's passing if it hadn't been for your Mom (and your Dad and you and your brother). | I always felt so fortunate that your Mom, and then you, were so close to my Mom. Those memories and stories, as well as all the fabulous memories I have of your Mom's mom and the Kennedy School, help me keep in my heart forever the spirit and advice and humor of those wonderful people who have now passed on.
37: And who else but your Mom would have known how to continue the educational legacy of the Kennedy School skulls after we discovered that my Mom had been safeguarding them at the house in Youngstown? It's been fantastic to be included in a lifetime of memories with your family. Here's to the next 40 years! Happy holidays. Love to you all. --Marlene It's been fantastic to be included in a lifetime of memories with your family. Here's to the next 40 years! Happy holidays. Love to you all. | Your Mom and I talked every day for a long time after that.
38: Kathy White | Getting an education at The Kennedy School certainly helped me in meeting Elizabeth. Her parents were the directors of that private school and my mother was hired to teach French and Latin. | Elizabeth... The best of my BEST... The best move my parents ever made was when my father decided to come to Youngstown, Ohio in the summer of 1960 with the whole family, to specialist in radiology. Not only did he ignore he was about to give me the tool (the English language) to earn a living in the future but he was not aware that we (our family members) would make great friends and that these friendships would last a lifetime.
39: using umbrellas to make tents, playing dolls, going to the candy store on Saturday mornings after watching the cartoons on television, swimming at the public pool, picnics and family gatherings with our parents. | Unfortunately, I don't recall that previous specific moment (but I most certainly remember my first day of school in the classroom not knowing one word of English how traumatized I was everybody was looking at me) but I thank God for making it happen and last till today. I have excellent memories of the good times spent together when we were in the States:
40: However, I will never forget the summer of 1962 – the day we left – the car pulling down the driveway, tears running down my cheeks, how sad and devastated I was to leave my best friend. But our parents kept in touch and so did we. They came to Canada a few times and my parents visited also. Our friendship crossed time and remained.
42: "Kat et Elizabeth Indianapolis, IN 1980"
43: In 1991, Elizabeth came to Canada to pay a last visit to my mother, sick with cancer. In 1995, Pierre-Etienne and I traveled to Washington for a week or so. In 1980 I flew to Indianapolis and spent time with Elizabeth, David and little Richard. I was 5 months pregnant with my first son. | Elizabeth managed to change my plane tickets so that I could go back to Youngstown to the important places of my childhood. In 1985, Scott flew to Canada with his mother. We enjoyed each other's company quite a lot.
44: Then in 2002 and 2003 Elizabeth and David came to visit us. It was fantastic, 2 years in a row. We had great times showing them around Quebec city and Ile d’Orleans where Elizabeth got to see many houses with a RED roof... At the time, they were considering buying land up here... I'm still hoping! Cross my fingers!! | At Michel's place, 2002
45: Last time we were together was in 2007 when we drove to Washington in the summer heat Boy it's hot in Washington in the summer!!! We even got to spend the weekend at the cabin! My new friend was Stumbles. I have great pics of that special moment! | West Va cabin with Stumbles, 2007 | Quebec, 2002
46: Elizabeth is MY BEST. Our friendship has lasted through good times, bad times (never between us!) and distance. Up to now she has always been there when I needed to talk or confide in someone. She is a soft, kind and understanding best friend that I will cherish all my life. Thanks Dad for moving to the States and not Sweden in 1960!!! I will forever be grateful!! | Like I always say to her: “Gee, too bad you're so far cause we could share a latte and chat!” | You know Liz that I could go on and on with memories Just keep in mind that we have to multiply our visits.
47: God bless you!! | Love, Kathy from Quebec xxxxxx
48: We've known Elizabeth Haase since 1994 through an introduction by | that welcoming shoulder and listening ear | Pete & Pat Conklin | necessary to get us back on track and actually have faith that the graduation would would actually happen. One of the most interesting aspects of our relationship at that time is we did not know "E," as she became known to us, had her PhD!! Of course, we know that one of Elizabeth's enduring traits is her genuineness and non-pretention. She is about the most down-to-earth, smart person we know. | our daughter, Sandi, who had become good friends with Richard Haase their freshman year in high school. From the very beginning, we knew she would become one of our dearest friends. And, how right we were. High school years are not always the easiest for kids and they were definitely not for our son, Chris, or for Richard. Elizabeth often provided
49: Those in the animal kingdom would agree. Meet "Stumbles"--the young male deer that would come to visit the Haases at their cabin in West Virginia. No matter how busy "E" was, she would always have a treat for Stumbles who would, in turn, give her that look only an appreciative deer can give! Stumbles became a buck and most likely moved on to start his own family. But the relationship the two of them had has remained ingrained in our memory. Another neat thing about "E" is the memories of her childhood which she so elegantly shares--about her wonderful, intelligent mom and the private school she ran... always keeping the mantra--"kids first" firmly fixed in her mind. And then there is Elizabeth the wife and mom... always there for her family in good times and not so good. She is the example we all strive to emulate. Indeed, at this Christmastime, we give thanks that Elizabeth Haase is in our lives. We love her very much!
50: Those who know her a little better also know her belly laugh which breaks ice, makes anything seem possible, and is just a heck of a lot of fun. But how many of you-- even if you consider yourself close to E.--know her shadow side? Folks, Elizabeth Haase is One Edgy Babe! | Those who know Elizabeth Haase even a little know her ability to saddle up to folks, flash her winning smile, turn their heads, and within minutes engage them in meaningful--even intimate--conversation. | -SHADOW-
51: the DCPF was considering hauling her in for a second run to get all twenty pinkies from a second angle. Let's just put it out here: Elizabeth Haase encourages her son to rock climb, and she gives her nod of approval to her husband's desire to puff on cigars. She drags Xan and Allen to Bear Country, West Virginia where she makes them walk the predator infested trails without so much as a tiny pistol to protect themselves (for some reason, she's also an avid proponent of gun control). I, myself, once walked out there with her and when she saw my protective red hat and vest she actually rolled her eyes at me. Elizabeth Haase's beloved Gestalt Therapy calls for expression: the acting out of intense--even primitive--emotions. Do you think that she might have chosen Gestalt over the more reflective Rogerian mode that most of the rest of us practice for A REASON? | I hope I'm not being too bold here to state that the D.C. Police Department required E. to get fingerprinted this fall, AND there was a period of time after which she reluctantly complied that | - Doug Favero
52: I met Elizabeth when she volunteered to part of the 9/11 Fairfax County Traumatic Grief Initiative Team in October, 2001. The team was composed of clinicians from the County and experts in trauma and grief from the public sector. Elizabeth was the primary expert on the team and I was fortunate and grateful to be paired with her to facilitate a Spouses grief group. | Elaine Tolk | For the ensuing three years, twice a month Elizabeth and I sat across from each other in a circle of grieving and traumatized spouses whose spouses had been killed at the Pentagon on 9/11. In her quiet caring skilled way, every word Elizabeth said had clinical impact and so I learned from the Master.
53: Elizabeth and I formed a lasting friendship throughout those years. I wrote a poem to her and two other friends one Christmas that helps explain the depth of my delight and gratitude in having Elizabeth in my life.
54: The Christmas parties have been hilarious and lovely. Elizabeth and I continue to meet every couple of months for lunch. She gives the very best hugs! I love you Elizabeth, your compassion, openness, humor and friendship truly “Light Up My Life”. | Elizabeth made me part of her loving family and wonderful friends.
55: Annemarie, Elizabeth and Gretchen, You are my angels Yes all three Without you who knows where I’'d be You lift me up Give flight to wings You possess sacred things You are my circle of loving light You're in my heart forever bright You are my angels Who knew you'd be Perhaps the universe sent you to me So work your magic Your heart light shines You're not human beings, you are beings divine And so I give an angel to you For love and peace All year through 12/07 EWT | The other E. (Elaine Tolk)
56: It was the beginning of a most treasured friendship of 20 plus years. During that time, I began Seminary to become a hospital chaplain and you began a doctoral program in Psychology to become a therapist. We met often in your little home on Rosslyn Street, to discuss home care issues as the leaders. Conversations would turn to our programs and our emotional states. The truth is... I was able to persevere because of your support and encouragement. The wonderful added surprise to a growing friendship was the fact that our husbands knew each other and liked one another. Our woman friendship turned into a couples friendship, which I believe is a rare blessing. For years since you moved to Washington, D.C., our families have vacationed together in Delaware every year. So many memories, too numerous to mention! Our vacation would not be the same without you. One of the highlights of my ministry was officiating the wedding of Xan and Allen in Maryland. What an honor to be asked. Now, you are | Elizabeth, I first met you at Methodist Hospice Volunteer Meeting in the late 1980's. You introduced yourself, because we were both interested in hospice home care. We soon became home care co leaders of the volunteers. | awaiting your first grandchild! We can't wait to get that baby to the Beach in 2012. There are three Gerig grandchildren ready to initiate little baby batman!
57: Bev Gerig, December 2011 | Elizabeth, I love you, dear friend!
58: ~ Sandy Udy ~
60: I'm not the writer in the family but I thought I'd go back to the beginning and a story I've told many times. I loved Elizabeth before I ever met her. David and I would go out to lunch when we worked for Public Television at L'Enfant Plaza.
62: I was dating Frank, who had moved back to Indianapolis and David had an upcoming wedding. We'd just sit together and he'd talk about Elizabeth and I'd talk about Frank. He had been in love with Elizabeth for years and he told me a good deal about those young years of ups and downs in his pursuit of his lovely lady.
63: There was so much love when he talked about the upcoming wedding it was hard not to weep with joy. That was my first introduction to Elizabeth and then there was our first meeting at their wedding. David 's description of Elizabeth was oh so true and I loved her the instant I met this beautiful, smart, warm and lovely lady. She is one of the most gracious and kind people I've ever known. Hugs and love, Sandy | (And, you know David, he can tell a hell of a story.)
64: My husband Jim and I were trying to remember exactly how I met Elizabeth and we could only conclude that it was through mutual friends mutual friends. We were all students at YSU at the time, and that seems likely. I do remember that your mom was just this pretty, very outgoing and smart young woman who kind of took me under her wing. I was a young married student living on the North side and your mom and I had many happy times. We only had one class together, Folk and Square Dance I, and I can remember the fun we had practicing our steps. As I recall she got a better grade on her final! Elizabeth worked at Kennedy School, as I'm sure you know, and once she was to attend the opera, I believe it was "Don Giovanni", with some of the students from the school, and she asked if I wanted to go. As so often happens in northeastern Ohio, in winter, it snowed a foot or two the day of the opera and so we had to wear our boots with our dress clothes but we ditched them in the VW and made our way into the Powers Auditorium. Your grandfather came with us and had absolutely no problem wearing his snot boots with his tuxedo! I was the matron of honor in your parent's wedding and then they moved to Virginia. Elizabeth invited me for a weekend and we visited Mount Vernon and saw the wonderful monuments in Washington. Eventually, I had my oldest son, Jesse, and your mom and dad moved to Indianapolis. She again invited us to visit and I think she was pregnant with Richard at the time.
65: We had a wonderful time, but Jess was not a good sleeper in a bed not his own (actually, I think it was Richard's crib--not fair that Jess slept in it first!) and I think Liz and David were probably happy to see the back of us. We keep in touch now just at Christmas (I look forward to your dad's annual letter) but I have many fond memories of Elizabeth. I hope my recollections are not too long-winded. This gift for your mom proves what I already knew in that she a wonderful mother. Sincerely, Charlotte Lanz November 27, 2011
66: I met you, Elizabeth, when you joined our meditation group (10 years ago?) and we became deep friends. I am aware that EVERYONE who knows you feels that you are their most intimate best friend. You are fiercely loyal, straightforward and persistently assertive in reaching out to nourish all your friendships. I appreciate how you find the humor and irony embedded in human frailty and tragedy. A few years back when I was feeling full of loss Elizabeth came to my rescue. I was to pick her up to go to her cabin. We were to meet the rest of the meditation group at the cabin. When I drove to pick her up I got lost and then my radiator bubbled over.
67: I had forgotten my cell phone so I drove to a gas station and they did whatever they could so I could drive back home.
68: Ashamed, I called her hours later and without missing a beat she picked me up with gusto and humor. Within minutes I found myself laughing and enjoying the fullness of life despite my feelings of loss and mortification. The many times when we honestly share our trials and tribulations I am struck with how many times we end up laughing at ourselves and the strange, absurd beauty of loss and life. We all owe you, Elizabeth, a debt of gratitude for the support you have given everyone in your large family of love!
69: With deep love, Barbara Shapard
70: Anyone who knows her knows that Elizabeth is an extraordinary woman. She is also an extraordinary clinician and friend. My indelible memory of Elizabeth involves how we met. She had contacted me because she had inherited a patient from a retiring clinician. | A Tribute to Dr. Elizabeth Haase November 12, 2011
71: I had been involved in the collaborative treatment of that patient. With a release of information properly secured, I placed a call to “Dr. Haase”to request that we find a time to talk by phone since she was now the primary clinician. | Dr. Haase”promptly returned my phone call, and we scheduled a time to talk. During that initial phone call, I sensed a generative, compassionate, and visionary energy. As we concluded our phone call, I found myself saying something I never say to a clinician with whom I have had very little contact--“Let's find a time to have lunch, Dr. Haase.”
72: THAT was the beginning of a wonderful friendship with one of the world's most treasured women.! My life is richer for having known you, Elizabeth, and I thank the Universe for bringing us together. I also thank you for choosing to be among us on this Earth at this time. You bring Light and Life to all and make the world a better place. | Without hesitation the reply came, “Yes. Let's look at our calendars now, “she replied. When we met for lunch, two weeks later, as I recall, we recognized each other immediately. Some might say that is also extraordinary—but no one who knows Elizabeth would find it so. That is just how she is. We began by recalling that initial phone call, with each of us commenting, for clarity, that we don't usually say what we had said to each other about meeting for lunch. The same energy had moved us both. | As our lunch continued, we found so very much we had in common. When we finally looked at our watches, it was more than THREE HOURS later. We both laughed and commented on how time had stood still for us both.
73: With admiration, Love, Peace, and Light, Cynthia Stevens
74: I shared a very important chapter in my life with Elizabeth, and will always treasure the memories of the time we spent together. I had the opportunity to befriend Elizabeth when I joined the staff of the St. Francis Center. I had met her in a seminar that she presented, and was looking forward to working with her. I soon learned that Elizabeth was leaving the St. Francis Center to start her own private practice! | Following September 11, 2001, Elizabeth and I joined the company of others who established support groups in Springfield, VA for surviving family and friends of those who lost their lives in the World Trade Center and the Pentagon. We were both featured in an article that appeared in the Washingtonian magazine, | Martha Gibbons | Thankfully, our relationship did not end there. We continued to meet, and soon we became a foursome (including my husband David and David Haase), sharing adventures together. David Haase was always witty and satirical, and one evening presented Elizabeth and I with caps bearing "We B Shrinks" (below).
75: titled "Who Can Help", offering resources for grief therapy following the tragedy. For many complicated reasons, my parents did not attend my wedding, but on Dave's and my 20th wedding anniversary, we held a renewal of our vows at All Saints Episcopal Church in Chevy Chase, MD. Elizabeth sat with me in "the bride's room" waiting for the music to signal my entrance (above). I finally walked down the aisle on the arm of my aging father, who was having difficulty walking, but managed to escort me to the altar with the harp playing Pachelbel Canon in D. | Now Elizabeth and I continue to share the annual weekend in October dedicated to the National Fallen Firefighters, where we facilitate support groups for those who have lost firefighters in the line of duty. I will always admire her, and be thankful for her friendship.
76: Now we are movie buddies - the deeper, heavier and more real, the better. Depressing film noir with child molesters, rape and pillaging are nothing to us in our soul search for anything but mundane. I treasure you as a friend in spite of the fact you live across the Potomac and like Cleveland. I hope our friendship continues for many, many years to come. Love, Barbara Rubin | Dear Elizabeth, After 20+ years of friendship - first as colleagues and then as so much more - thanks when Stan was dying, you and David were so supportive, giving and "there". You shared our pain and fear.
77: Breedge Hanna | From time to time your Mom will bring a little gift for no reason, and of course Ed has her tortured about her banana nut bread. You have a wonderful Mom and friend and always remember no matter what the circumstances, she has an open mind and will always be there for you. Because of your friendship with Clare I would never have made such a wonderful friend and I thank you for that. | I consider your Mom to be a true genuine friend. As you know we love to walk but don't get to do it enough. We get a little selfish and just enjoy being on our own. Your Mom was always there to listen to my concerns. I will always treasure when she gave me your grandmother's tablecloth. I know she had talked it over with you and Richard. I have used it on special occasions and will always take the utmost care of it.
79: Deanne H. Carter | Well, I think these photos tell quite a story. Eliz and me, Dean, in 1965 next to another photo taken over 40 years later and we're still wearing what looks like almost the same clothes. I met Eliz when we lived in Youngstown, Ohio, while attending the Kennedy School. As young girlfriends we would stay overnight at each others’ homes dreaming of owning horses and being ballerinas.
80: Alright, alright so we weren't profound linguists, but we always had a great time together. The overnights at the Turner household held adventures of eating at a formal dining table with Damon, Isabel and brothers Scott and Richie always nearby (I had such a crush on Richie so I would be keeping an eye out for him). | For instance an “H” was pronounced herpleburple and an “I” would be pronounced ick. When greeting each other we would say, ”herpleburple ick” instead of “hi”.
81: from school. Being an only child of a single mother this was tremendously exciting! Still today there is chatter and laughter with Eliz. How I enjoy our diverse conversations! I also appreciate the (dare I say it) long history we share through childhood, family, children, life... | There was also Shane the Irish setter, a cat of some sort and perhaps Pepsi the duck or another pet | Xan, thank you for asking me to reflect on my friendship with your mother. This has been an unexpected joy - Sending love to your family from Dean p.s. Richie used to call your mother Elizabeth Married a Turnip. Always cracked me up. | Dean, Xan, Richard, Doris
82: Obviously, there are so many shared experiences it is difficult to limit my memories to a select few. I first met your mother in 1989 when I applied for a job at the St. Francis Center. During my interview, Judy P. said, “you should meet Elizabeth Haase (she chuckled as she said this), you have so much in common.” And so we did meet through work and worked together at the St. Francis Center for ten years teaching and training together in a multitude of places in the greater Washington area. And YES, our connection was evident from the start. | Sharon Lerner | Many funny things happened when we trained and some not so funny. We started a program together called “Thanatology for Professionals” which were three day workshops on loss and grief. | Typically, we would start to plan the workshop and as the day approached we would look at each other and say, “Why in the world are we doing this.” Then at the end of the workshop we would feel so good about it we would say, “Now we know why we do this and let's plan the next one.”
83: Then a not so funny experience we both will never forget was the weekend we were giving a workshop on MacArthur Blvd. It had finished for the night and were walking to our car when we saw three young men coming toward us down the stairs toward the Center. I suddenly realized they were up to no good and turned to your mom and said, “RUN!” We ran back into the Center, locked the doors, turned out the lights and called the police and John. John showed up before the police with a neighbor and his gun. The young men were at the doors and windows trying to get in but ran when they saw John and Ed.
84: Then a not so funny experience we both will never forget was the weekend we were giving a workshop on MacArthur Blvd. It had finished for the night and were walking to our car when we saw three young men coming toward us down the stairs toward the Center. I suddenly realized they were up to no good and turned to your mom and said, “RUN!” We ran back into the Center, locked the doors, turned out the lights and called the police and John. John showed up before the police with a neighbor | Elizabeth and I both suddenly realized that the police were coming too and not sure what they would do when they saw John with a gun. Yikes!! Well, somehow it all worked out and we gave police reports and went on our way home, shaking all the way. | I don't believe your dad had really met John at that time and for some reason I hadn't realized how much they would like each other and have in common. When we did finally get together at your parents home for dinner with Barbara and Stan Rubin, there was instant chemistry between John and your dad. That was the beginning of so many wonderful times sharing dinner, music and laughs at both our homes as well as fantastic weekends at the West Virginia cabin.
85: One time when your parents had us for dinner, your mom decided to make pork tenderloin. No sooner did we get in the door than John started telling you mom how he made great pork tenderloin; your mom just looked at him with a twinkle and said, “Why don't you make it your way for us tonight” and he did. Your mom has been one of my greatest lifetime friends and certainly my greatest as an adult. I can trust her with absolutely anything and no one is more ready to listen and give the best feedback imaginable than your mom, otherwise known as Dr. Elizabeth Haase. | John was a wonderful cook and so is your mom, so they would often kid about cooking. One time your mom said she made fantastic fried chicken and John said he did too. Your mom decided to invite us over first for the “chicken cook off” and it was a huge success. I think John may have said after dinner that he didn't really make fried chicken but he loved hers. | I am in constant awe of her sensitivity, thoughtfulness and the incredible love she gives to all. I am truly blessed to have had her in my life for so many years and hopefully, for many more to come.
86: Hyun-Ae Turner | Hyun-Ae Turner | My funniest memory of spending time with Aunt Liz: Aunt Liz and Uncle Dave invited me and Colin out to their cabin for the weekend. After taking us around the little town and making us a delicious dinner we sat down to play a game.
87: They brought out a game called "Catch Phrase" if I recall correctly. After a brief explanation we started the game and I was paired up with Aunt Liz. The round that sticks out in memory is when Aunt Liz reads her word and sighs saying, "Oh gosh, how am I going to explain this..." Then she turns to me and says, "It's a small fruit..." to which I reply immediately "Kumquat!" She was excited I guessed correctly on the first try and said, "You can be on my team anytime!" Another thing which isn't a specific memory, but just about her overall personality and character: I always wish that I would've had a chance to meet Colin's Dad, but I'm glad to have Aunt Liz as the link to that side of Colin's family. She has always made me feel welcomed and always shown genuine interest and concern. She even took time to call me and listen to my "new Mom woes" shortly after Sophia was born. I'm very happy to be a part of her family and am looking forward to Sophia getting to know her Great Aunt Liz.
88: Colin Turner
89: My fondest memories of my aunt | were after my father died. The remaining family pulled together and it was comforting to see all the Haases in the months after - I was in a pretty bad state for a while there and not always the best company. Despite her own grief, she was always listening and trying to help me with what I was going through. And I realize that was the grief therapist in her - always willing to help and counsel. That meant a lot to me. And I hope that in some way I was able to comfort her over the loss of her brother. We would talk on the phone about memories of my father and if I hadn't reached out in a while, she would always reach out to me to see how things were going and make sure I was alright. In the years after, we started to meet for lunch every few months at La Madeleine in Rockville. This was a halfway point between my job and hers and is always good eats. Slowly, as the grief receded, we were able to talk more about our families and each other, and the memories of my father became happy ones where we could laugh at each other's stories about him. I think the shared grief brought us closer. It's always a joy to see her and I'm blessed to have her in my life. Love, --Colin