S: If Only They Could Read
BC: Special thanks to all the wonderful pug parents at Pug Authority www.pugauthority.com
FC: If Only They Could Read A collection of notes from pug owners
1: Jackson, You are perfect in every way. Except please stop pooping in the house. Oh, and eating fabric. I love you. -Mom
2: Dear Zoe, Mommy doesn't have cooties. It's ok to cuddle. I swear I won't tell anyone! I love you Hunny Bunny! Love, Mommy
3: Dear Nell, You're not really hidden under the bed if your butt is sticking out. Love, Mom | Dear Lucy, It's a king size pillow. Can I have just a tiny piece of it? My head isn't THAT big! Love, Mom
4: Dear Leo, Just because it moves doesn't mean you have to bark at it, lick it, or eat it -- that includes your brothers.
5: Dear Stella, Please pre-wash the dishes while I'm out. Lubs, Mother
6: Dear Toby Love, I don't know who did what to you, but when I take off the paper towel roll, I promise it's just to throw it in the trash. I will never, EVER use it to hurt you. All my love, Momma | Dear Freddy Jones, On my worst day, in my worst mood, you can always bring a smile to my face. Don't ever stop being you. I love you, Momma
7: Indy, Remember your inside voice. And we know how you feel about your sister, you don't have to pee on Sophie's gate to her room every day. | Sophie, Please don't torment your brothers. Or the cats. If you want to chew on something, please use one of your 10000 nylabones that are lying around, NOT our shoes, blinds, or other unacceptable items.
8: Dear Jackson, You still melt me with your face and your wiggly Lifesaver tail. You are my heart. Love, Mom | Dear Sammy, No, I don't mind carrying you up the stairs at night. But you still don't need to holler about kicking everyone's ass. It's getting old. Really. But I love your winking mug. Love, Mom | Dear Angel, Watching you shrink to skin and bones is really, really hard. I'm nowhere near ready to let you go, so hang in there, ok? And thanks for the kisses. They mean more to me now than ever. Love, Mom
9: Dear Chloe, Beating up Bozlee every single evening does NOT constitute relaxing behavior before bedtime. Love, Mom | Dear Odie Gus Gus, Do you have to bark both going OUT of the house and going IN to the house? Every single time..... Love, Mom | Dear Grace, There isn't a sticky note big enough to address your issues, but let's try. Poop is gross - not a snack. Eating Diesel's poop from his dispenser is even more gross than eating poop off the ground. Fabric - not a delicacy. Clothes are for wearing, not tearing and eating. Daddy is here to stay. No matter how much you hate him, he's not going anywhere. I've thought of cutting him loose, but we need his paycheck to continue putting food in Sissy's dish, so he's staying. Learn to deal with it. That's enough for one day!! Love, Mom
10: Dear Chester, You are perfect. Don't change a thing.
11: Dear Ty, Did you hit the tool bag of the service man who came to check our window this morning? I hope not but there was a "yellow" spot on the carpet right where he had set the bag. Oh my! This IS your territory no need to keep marking it! Mom | Dear Snifter Daddy is allowed to sit down in his chair. You do not need to scold him for it. Love Mummy P.S. Thank you for always bringing a toy to visitors. That is very cute. | Dear Dre, Burping in my face, and then throwing up all over my shirt is not the proper way to say "good morning". Love, Mom
12: Dear Juneau, Please let the cat keep his ears. Love Mom | Dear Penny You are not starving I will never forget to give you your breakie and din-din You don't need to tell me how to get them ready for you I love you Momma | My Dear Girls, There is no need to fight over my lap. Not only is there plenty of room for you both, we could probably fit a couple more if we had to. There is no need to fight over toys, we have at least 2 of everything you could possibly want. If your sister has a toy you can go get an identical toy from the toybox. When a dog barks on TV you don't need to answer. It can't hear you anyway. I love you my darlings. The Momma
13: Dear Kimchi, You were an ANGEL tonight at the Mutt Mingle. I am so PROUD of you! You have come so far in just a short time. I hope we can keep going on the path to perfect pugdom. I know you can do it! You're such a good girl and I love you! Mom. | Thurston, The rain has stopped. Remember your potty training. The house is not the place to pee and poop. Love Mom.
14: Drago: I can walk by myself, your "helping" me is going to cause my death. I will not disappear down the drain, crying loudly at the shower doors will not help. Daddy will not hurt me, sneezing on him when he is near me will not deter him. Daddy has a right to sleep in the bed , spitting on his pillow does not deter him. Daddy is not harmful, he will not be the end of you in the event I am not in the room to supervise him. You will never miss a meal, running me down for it could cause a major delay.I leave and always return. Crying doesn't make errands go faster. Your human brothers' kisses are not harmful. Good thing you're cute is not a term of endearment. Love, Mom | Remi: Daddy works to buy kibbles. Please do not chew up his stuff, it doesn't make him return any sooner. I know you are his boy, no need to glare at me as a constant reminder. Stealing my bath towel while I'm showering is just plain rude. My closet is not your personal playground. Love , Mom | Milo: One thing - screaming doesn't make anything any better. Other than that you are a lovely gentleman. Love, Mom
15: Dear Mack, The little girls that live behind us are not trees. Please do not ever pee on them (again) when they are sitting on the ground, leaning against the fence. They may be dirty, but I'm sure they'll bathe once they get inside. No need to speed them along. Love, Your embarrassed mother. | Dear Mac, Screaming does not get you out of your crate faster. As soon as I walk in the door I will let you out-I promise. Love, Mom | Dear Milan: I would appreciate it if you would stop peeing on everyones beds. They dont like it and neither do I. Love, Nani
16: Dear Imi, You are the proof that rescue Pugs are perfect. Thank you. Love, Mummy | Dear Pearl, FOUR IN THE MORNING is for sleeping. FOUR IN THE MORNING is NOT for jumping on me, running down the bed-stairs to get a drink then running up them again to drip water in my face. FOUR IN THE MORNING is not for eating. FOUR IN THE MORNING is FAR TOO EARLY for me to get up, let you out and then feed you. Yes, I know Imi gets excited too, but she REALLY WOULD SLEEP if it wasn't for the fact that you're awake and you think everyone else should be too. And even though you look precious and like an angel when you go back to a VERY sound sleep a little later when all your needs are taken care of, do you realise that I am wide awake staring at you wishing I could go back to such a sound sleep? Love you Pearl, but PLEASE - SLEEP UNTIL AT LEAST 8AM!! Love, Mummy
17: Dear Brutus. When I give Norton a bath, I am not killing him so you don't have to stand and bark at me the WHOLE time. Another thing, could you learn to like riding in the car, getting your nails trimmed and that the dremel is not going to take off your whole foot? Love Mom PS - I love you too and I don't consider you the " half breed" like Dad calls you. You are a special boy! | Dear Norton, 3:30 is NOT 5:00. You eat dinner at 5:00. Also, note that rabbit poop should not be considered one of your food groups. PS- I love you PSS - Can I go to the bathroom by myself once in a while? Mom
18: Hooligan, I promise you that we have not forgotten the Honest Kitchen in your bowl. We ALWAYS have to wait 10 minutes.
19: Dear Miss Tilly, You are a B = Beautiful I = Intelligent T = Talented C = Charming H = Hell of a Pug but please learn to sleep later. Love you tons, Mom
20: Dear Olive, Mama will come back when she leaves, don't worry. Please chew your own bully, not your sisters. Please chew your food, not gulp it down whole. You don't have to bark at all the scary monsters outside to protect us. Love, Mama | Dear Mochi, Please don't lick your sisters ears off. Please chew your own bully, not your sisters. You each have your own. You WILL NOT melt, if you get wet. Remember not EVERYONE wants to rub your belly. Love Mama | Dear Bud, Zig-zagging in front of me as you go down the stairs is not funny. I will land on top of you if you trip me. Love, Mom | Dear Hooli, Indy, and Sophie, We love you more than we can say-even when you drive us nuts. We promise you this is your forever home. But don't take that as a challenge to be as bad as possible.
21: Dear Bruno, Life will not come to an end if you move more than 10 feet from your father. A little rain also will not kill you. | Dear Lillie, At the age of 12 with a wonky back end, you've earned the right to sleep all day and have a few accidents here and there. I would have thought after 12 years you'd have learned the meals are always on time, I've never missed one, so you can relax. Love, Mom | Dear Diesel, You are my perfect, handsome prince charming. My first born baby boy and I love you beyond words. But for the love of God, if you do not stop lifting your leg in my house, one day I will follow through on my threat to cement your legs to the floor. Love, Mom