Christmas Delivery Deadline 12/18
: :
Get up to 50% Off! Code: GIFTS Ends: 12/7 Details
Apply
  1. Help

Do I Have to Think of Everything? Bob Topping

Hello, you either have JavaScript turned off or an old version of Adobe's Flash Player. Get the latest Flash player.

Do I Have to Think of Everything? Bob Topping - Page Text Content

S: Do I Have to Think of Everything?

BC: Special appreciation to: Lafayette Journal & Courier, Indiana Daytona Beach Sunday News Journal, Florida

FC: Do I Have to Think of Everything? | A Collection of Letters to the Editor written by Robert W. Topping

1: Robert W. Topping was a Purdue staff member and alumnus, and the author of four published books, including three about Purdue University. He was also a former newspaperman in Michigan and Indiana. He was a beloved husband, father, grandfather, great grand father and friend. | November 27, 1926 -April 25, 2009

2: Politics | First Amendment I couldn't help but notice your Opinions page of July 15 with its letters column oozing divergent opinions on the current porn vs. the First Amendment dichotomy, and a bunk piece out of Washington or someplace expounding once again on the evils of acid rain and sulfur dioxide in the upper atmosphere. It kind of makes one yearn for the good old days - when the air was clean and sex was dirty. July 9, 1986 | American Flag I couldn't agree more with News-Journal columnist Mark Lane (July 9, "Hoist high the registered trade mark") The currently tedious national baloney about burning the American flag no doubt has Betsy Ross spinning (no pun intended), or possibly laughing, in her grave. The answer to the issue is so simple I am embarrassed to the credit for it: a new federal law requiring that American flags be made of flame-retardant material. Why do I always have to think of everything? July 16, 1995

3: City Sanitation Noting that West Lafayette had adopted a fee for garbage pickup, I propose the city's Sanitation Department also adopt a slogan: "Satisfaction guaranteed or double your garbage back." Oct. 10, 1982 | Prayer Now let's see, I I've got this straight: According to your Dec. 15 article headlined "Board to Omit Prayer From Graduation", the U.S. Supreme Court has ruled that it's illegal to utter a prayer at school commencements, but is it O.K. to sing one? December 21, 1992 | Voting Talk about election day foul ups! I got up early to beat the crowd to the precinct voting place. But there was already a long line and after what seemed an eternity, I finally got into the booth. And what happened? The little pen they give you was already out of ink. November 10, 1984 | Bridge Name Jack Alkire's suggestion to name the new Wabash River bridge(s) "Bob" has merit, though that may sound self-serving. But go a step further. Name the westbound span, "Bob" and spell it backwards for the eastbound span. It may even help Lafayette to become site for a future Bob Festival. Don't tell me I don't think of everything. June 23, 1992

4: Taxes These endless requests for tax money to build a public this or a public that are beginning to get intolerable. Now, it's a new library.. Next thing you know someone will want money to buy books for it. When will it ever stop? June 3, 1985 | What's important? When will the Clinton Administration stop messing around with such trivial matters as the federal deficit, medical care, jobs, the economy and what-not, and get on with important issues? For example, how many among us would disagree that a No. 1 priority is passage of federal laws prohibiting local automobile dealers from producing, or appearing in, their own television commercials? February 28, 1993 | Tax If there is eventually a so-called wheel tax in Tippecanoe County, does that mean a county commissioner will come out and change or repair your tire when you hit a pothole? I just wondered. May 28, 2003

5: Administration When will the new administration stop messing around with such trivial matters of the federal deficit, medical care, jobs, the economy and whatnot, and get on with important issues? For example, how many among us would disagree that a No. l priority is passage of a federal law prohibiting local automobile dealers from producing, or appearing in, their own television commercials? February 24,1993 | Ultimate Flag Protection I couldn't agree more with the News-Journal columnist Mark Lane (July 9,"Hoist high the registered trademark!"). The currently tedious national baloney about burning theAmerican flag no doubt has Betsy Ross spinning (no pun intended, or possibly laughing, in her grave.The answer to the issue is so simple I am embarrassed to take credit for it: a new federal law requiring thatAmerican flags be made of flame-retardant material. Why do I always have to think of everything? July 16, 1995

6: Education | P | Park | School unification wouldn't help much You seem to lament unduly over the fact that there seems to be not much interest one way or the other in your revival of the old proposal to consolidate Tippecanoe County's three school corporations. While such a move might do wonders for the system, it is not likely to provide much, if any, benefit to the educational process; indeed, it likely would prove to be deleterious to it. But I am forgetting: Bigger is better and since when do public school systems have anything to do with the education of the young? February 11, 1980 | Another Expense I noted in the March 18 paper that the West Lafayette school board is about to hire another expensive consultant, this one to tell us how to finance the proposed remodeling of the high school building. Do we really need another expensive consultant ? Can't we just go out and hire a contractor who takes Visa cards? Do I have to think of everything? March 24, 1993

7: Will the kids forgive us? When teachers strike, they cease to be teachers - a tragedy further compounded by the fact that such strikes are tacit indications that we parents have grievously erred by relinquishing the education of our children to the educationalists. The abject failure of the American public school system is thus complete. Will our kids forgive us? November 1, 1975 | Let's see ... Now let's see if I've got this straight: According to your Dec. 15 article headlined "Board To Omit Prayer From graduation," the U.S. Supreme Court has ruled that it's illegal to utter a prayer at school commencements, but it is O.K. to sing one? Right? December 22, 1992

8: Spelling Relief for Acid Rain Has it ever occurred to anyone that the way to rid our environment of acid rain is to see the clouds with Rolaids? Do I continue to stand alone as the single remaining citadel of American ingenuity? August 3, l981 | Home in Indiana | Traffic Who else agrees with me that traffic movement in Greater Lafayette, (as well as Lesser Lafayette) is a scandal? I think it is a safe guess that most of us who live and drive in this community have at one time or another been guilty of DWI - driving while infuriated. August 11, 1987 | Progress under construction A recent return visit to Lafayette-West Lafayette reinforced my strong belief that it is a great community - if only they'd get it done. July 17, 1994 | The two seasons of Greater Lafayette A local and timely observation: We seem to have two seasons - winter and road repair. February 5, 2004

9: New Technology Isn't an Improvement I liked General Telephone Company's service much better when it was wind-up. January 29, 1984 | The absurdity of the current fuss over the Civic theater's play, "Huck Finn" persists in bringing to mind Mark Twain's classic observation that "Man is the only animal that blushes, or needs to. May 27, 1982 | High Time Isn't it about time for someone to go down and mow the sandbars in the Wabash River? Do I have to think of everything? July 25, l988 | A snowy day sidewalk dilemma If West Lafayette residents don't shovel the snow from their front walks, my daily walks may be in jeopardy. I may be forced to use my stationary bicycle instead. And then, where would we hang our clothes? February 12, 2005

10: Slogan idea: Noting the West Lafayette has adopted a fee for garbage pickup, I propose the city's Sanitation Department also adopt a slogan: "Satisfaction guaranteed or double your garbage back." October 10, 1982 | Guilty of DWI? Who else agrees with me that the traffic movement in Greater Lafayette (as well as the lesser Lafayette) is a scandal? I think it is a safe guess that most of us who live and drive in this community have at one time or another been guilty of DWI - driving while infuriated. August 11, 1989 | Tee time for the Rudolph foursome While enjoying breakfast at the Elks Club on Sunday, I observed several deer on the snowy golf course. They soon left; they weren't Elks. January 13, 2005 | Wheel Tax If there is eventually a so-called wheel tax in Tippecanoe County, does that mean a county commissioner will come out and change or repair your tire when you hit a pothole? I just wondered. May 28, 2003

11: Where do I sign up for all this? Now let me see if I've got this straight: We acquire 2,700 acres of vacant cornfields, dam up a small creek that drains the effluent from most of the barnyards in the township - thereby creating a combination of sludge lagoon and motorboat oil reservoir - throw in some picnic tables, and call it a state park. All of this for only $15 million? Gee whiz, where do I sign up? January 31, 1983 | Make Joggers Wear License Plates At the risk of offending Sam Platt, wherever he is, I write only to remind you that the current - and justified - fuss about jogging on the public thoroughfares was something to which I called your attention last spring. Meanwhile, I have come up with a scheme that will discourage these well-intentioned folk who insist on running around in public in their BVD's; A new state law that would require joggers who use the streets and highways to wear the new Indiana license plates on the seat of their pants. Where it belongs. As for Platt: Play it again, Sam! (I just throw that in.) February 26, l984

12: License Plates I take my cue from a Local and State Page story on 17 Aug., in which Indiana auto license plates were voted worst in the nation by members of the Automobile License Plate Collectors Association. Obviously, we should do away with such baffling and/or half-hearted license plate slogans as "Hoosier Hospitality" or "Wander Indiana" or "Back Home Again". We're talking bit-time stuff here. We need real eye-grabbers, license plates that nobody can soon forget. Try "World Capital of Upper Respiratory Disease," or "Home of John Dillinger," or maybe one or the other of "Keeping Illinois From Crashing Into Ohio," or Stopping Michigan's Slide into Kentucky". Do I have to think of everything? July 17, l991

13: Joggers are a Traffic Menace Idea: Impose a foot tax on joggers. The joggers I've encountered as a motorist seem to give the impression that the highways were built exclusively for them. Items: - I travel almost the entire length of Cumberland Avenue in West Lafayette every day. There are sidewalks on both sides of the avenue, not to mention a grassy divider strip perhaps as wide as 30 feet. Yet, joggers insist on using the roadway almost exclusively - usually running on the wrong side. Less than a week ago I encountered joggers on McCormick road three abreast, running not only on the wrong side of the road, but on the pavement. I honked a warning and was thanked with the proverbial obscene gesture - the sign language of the monosyllabic. A month back I came close to accidentally hitting a jogger on Indiana 26 West, again, running on the wrong side of the highway at, inexplicably, 11 p.m. wearing a dark sweat shirt and dark pants. He may have been the president of the local suicide club. It's as if these clown left their brains at the sporting goods store. Needless to say, I am not a jogger; you get all out of breath from jogging. The cemeteries are full of people all out of breath. I am a napper. Perhaps we who take naps are clogging up the nation's couches, but at least we aren't a hazard to vehicular traffic. July 2, l983

14: Just for Fun | Just punishment I'm puzzled that no one has yet come forth with this appropriate and just punishment for Exxon's oil spill in prince William Sounds: Have a drunk pour ocean water down its oil wells, then ask him to remove it with medicine dropper. May 22, 1989 | How to spot the High-Tech Age I was happy to see Theresa Grimaldi's definition of high-technology or "high-tech" in Sunday's page-one lead story on "high-tech" possibilities for this area. "High-tech" is one of those trendy phrases often used but seldom defined. Her definition was clear enough, although somewhat different from my own. Suffice to say, you know you are in the High-Tech Age when you get too close to your microwave and your pacemaker opens the garage door. July 19, 1986 | Jack Alkire's suggestion to name the new Wabash River bridge(s) "Bob" has merit, though that may sound self-serving. But go a step further. Name the westbound span, "Bob" and spell it backwards for the eastbound span. It may even help Lafayette to become site for a future Bob Festival. Don't tell me I don't think of everything. June 23, l992

15: Hell to pay Now you guys have really done it. Nobody visibly upset when you told us the earth was flat. It was o.k. when you reported that Judge Crater was back in town. And who got excited when you wrote that Mount Rushmore was a natural phenomena? But add 10 years to a woman's age, as you did with my fiance in the April 14 Marriage Licenses column, and there's hell to pay. If you insisted on somehow misrepresenting her true age with one of those computer contraptions you use to try to put out your newspaper, then you ought to have the decency to also misspell her name. For what it's worth, your goof is the third in little more than a year that has burned me, or mine. You've used up all your burns. I hope a cockroach smothers in your guacamole dip. April 21, 1988

16: Home from God's waiting room, Florida Nearly a decade passed before we decided you can take me out of Indiana but, you can't take Indiana out of me. That's a conclusion reached in Florida where, if you don't play golf well enough to enjoy it or enjoy the vicarious thrill of dodging hurricanes and/or hungry alligators, there isn't much to do. Florida is truly God's waiting room and the national home of the Early Bird Special. Where else do you eat your evening meal at 3 p.m. So we came back. Will someone now turn up the heat. March 27, 2002 | The Final Solution I don't suppose anyone will take seriously my proposal to put an end to terrorist bombings of commercial passenger flights. You put all the luggage on one plane, and all the passengers, nude, on another(with a special warning not to spill the hot coffee in your lap). Voila! January 6, 1988 | If you don't use the speed limit signs ... We may as well take down the speed limit signs as nobody seems to pay any attention to them anymore. Maybe we could recycle them to fill potholes. Do I have to think of everything? April 21, 2005

17: Salary Now that you've published my annual salary - my sole source of income - you may be interested to know that I also tested negative on my last urinalysis. From the standpoint of news and public interest, the two are of equal importance. July 31, 1973 | New technology isn't an improvement I liked General Telephone Company's service much better when it was wind-up. January 29,1984 | Exercise If West Lafayette residents don't shovel the snow from their front walks, my daily walks may be in jeopardy. I may be forced to use my stationary bicycle instead. And then, where would we hang our clothes? February 5, 2004 | Methane Gases How can one not be skeptical of new scientific claims that millions of years ago dinosaur flatulence was one cause of global warming? Their methane helped trap heat in the atmosphere, so goes the theory. Such a geophysical phenomena would, it seems to me, require an overpopulation of Planet Earth by very large and very rude dinosaurs. I just throw that in. October 31, 1991

18: Good Old Days Remember the "good old days" when they played football on Saturday afternoon for students and no one had to make money at it? But that was long ago, when touchdowns were four points, field goals were five points, and extra points and safeties were two points? Today, the point is not whether you win or lose, but how you "play" the game. September 20, 2002 | Don't rile the guy who makes boilers The NCAA people are probably right. Think how insulted the guys who make boilers must feel. August 21, 2005

19: Entertainment I note that the first floor of the Elliott Hall of Music has been sold out for Robin Williams. He is indeed a funny fellow. But $100. per seat? Do you get to take it home with you after the show? May 23, 2002 | Purdue Golf Changing the names of the Purdue golf courses to gold and black is about as logical as changing Purdue's colors to north and south. June 1, 1991 | Fishless at Purdue: Less isn't Maury What? "Fishless" Purdue Ag Fish Fry? What's next? "Letterless" letters to the editor> Paperless newsletters? "Classless" classes at the university? Where's Maury Williamson when we need him? August 21, 1999

Sizes: mini|medium|large|gargantuous
Default User
  • By: Jennifer R.
  • Joined: over 5 years ago
  • Published Mixbooks: 1
No contributors

About This Mixbook

  • Title: Do I Have to Think of Everything? Bob Topping
  • A collection of letters to the editor as written by acclaimed author Robert W. Topping.
  • Tags: None
  • Published: over 4 years ago

Get up to 50% off
Your first order

Get up to 50% off
Your first order