S: Seasons of Change
FC: of change | The Life of Bernie Verhaeghe 1st hour
1: A Year in Review | -Born in Kansas City -Son of Bill and Maria Verhaeghe -Brother of Marty Verhaeghe -There is a very competitive culture at my house between me, my brother, and my dad. Also none of us like to clean. -I was a C-section, but this didn't have any effect on the rest of my life. | Birth and Family
2: Gender | -I have XY chromosomes -I was always exposed to gender rules, my dad had me participating in all of the sports possible, and sports were on the TV all the time. My number one role model back then was Tony Gonzalez because I was a huge Chiefs fan, and I wanted to be tight end. -I do follow gender rules, I love playing and watching football, basketball and baseball. I also love to hunt.
3: Father Parenting Styles My dad uses the authoritative parenting style. He has a long fuse, but when behavior gets bad enough, he'll explode. As the behavior gets progressively worse, thats when he handles things well. He will sit me down and talk to me about what the consequences that could come from specific behavior, and also how he has high expectations. Once when I wrote my name on a public bench, he made me call the person responsible for keeping them clean and apologize. | Mother Parenting Styles My mom also uses the authoritative style. Shes never grounded me because of a mistake I have made, most of the time she uses the natural consequences. She punishes me by yelling at me excessively. If things get very serious, we will have a talk alone. When I was little I lost my jacket, so she took some of my Christmas money to pay for a new one.
4: Attachment Styles When I was a very little kid, about 3 months old, I was more of a secure attachment. Before my mom would leave for work, she would drop me off at the babysitters and I always threw a little fit as she was leaving. However, I would calm down almost immediately after she had pulled out of the driveway. As I grew up, it almost became more of an "act" rather than me actually being upset. For this reason I think anxious avoidant would most accurately suit me. I truly wasn't all that upset when she left, and I still wasn't extremely excited when she returned.
5: Time Line Birth-1 | Between 9 months and a year, I would get excited whenever mom would get my coat out or take me for a ride in the car because I had learned from past experience that we were headed to grandmas. A ride in the car appeals to all senses, and according to Piaget, infants learn by looking, hearing, touching | and grasping. One thing I didn't like for a short period of time was going to the neighbors for babysitting. Nevertheless, because of Erikson's stage 1, trust vs. mistrust, it didn't take me long to enjoy the neighbor's presence. I was able to tolerate this because my babysitter was the consistent caregiver whenever my mom wasn't there.
6: 1-3 | When I was about 18 months old, my mom was very specific when she told me not to touch the grill because it was hot. I was just curious, so I did it anyways. After feeling the immediate burn, because of the small amount of cognitive thinking that develops in stage 1 according to Piaget, I learned never to touch something hot, when mom says not | too, again. I was always willing to have my mom help me with just about anything. I was never one to assert my independence very much during Erikson's stage 2, Autonomy vs. Shame and Doubt, however, I was determined to build things on my own with the Duplo-Blocks. I always got mad when my mom tried to help.
7: 3-6 | When I was about 3, I was obsessed with cartoons. From my perspective, those were the only shows allowed to be on the television. According to Piaget, this was because I was in stage 2 and used egocentrism type thinking. During this same age, I also loved to make cars race down a ramp that my dad built. According | to Erickson, this occurred during stage 3, Initiative vs. Guilt, because kids plan activities, make up games, and initiate activities with others. This helped me develop as a person because I learned to share and to enjoy playing with other people.
8: 6-12 | During Erikson's stage 4, Industry vs. Inferiority, I was very proud when I drove in a game winning run on my 5th grade baseball team. If I wouldn't have had any sense of accomplishments, I might have grown up very sad. Also, in about 5th or 6th grade, during Piaget's stage 3, Concrete Operational, I began having to solve scientific problems. This allowed me to use the simple logic and the conservation style thinking that I had been | developing over the years. Solving Problems and the sense of accomplishments made a big impact on my life because having confidence and common sense applies for any career that one could pursue.
9: 12-19 | During Erikson stage 5, Identity vs. Role Confusion, I started high school and began to realize what I wanted to do with my life. I was never completely sure, but I knew I was going to edit video somehow, someway until I retired. Wolfbyte TV is what made me 100% sure on that decision. I found out that I had promising talent for editing video. The problem | with this stage was that I was confused at what career I should take my talent too. I explored many different areas of where I could use it most. Using hypothetical thinking (Piaget), I finally decided that journalism would suit me best. Working for a news station was always my dream.
10: 19-25 | After graduating high school, I got all my core classes out of the way at JCCC. I then got accepted into KU's Journalism program. This was the biggest obstacle I ever had to overcome as far as pursuing my dream, and it was also the most significant because it set the base for the rest of my life. While being in Erikson stage 6, Intimacy vs Isolation, I was making longer commitments with my passion | and with my girlfriend, whom I had been dating for 3 years when I turned 19. I was determined to get a job with editing so I continued to push through and use abstract thinking (Piaget) for news stories in order to graduate. I was immediately hired after high school to KCTV 5 news as an editing producer.
11: 25-40 | After about a year of working for KCTV 5, I was comfortably settled in and I could switch my priorities toward my love life. I was still able to continue to make progress in my job during Erikson's stage 7, Generativity vs. Stagnation, and never hit a mid-life crisis. I wound up marrying my high school sweetheart, Sarah Newell. We had one extremely, extremely good looking kid that looked exactly like me. I used abstract thinking (Piaget) | every day to solve my kids problems. I enjoyed every second I got to spend with my child. I didn't have any regrets, and I was proud of the success I had in life. I felt so happy with what society had provided for me, I just wanted to give back and raise my child to be something special.
12: 40-65 | My kid is in college at this time, and I was looking into retirement. It took me a wile, but i finally did manage to get it done and retire. This was a big point in my life because it was a reality check for me to see if my life was worth it. I truly did believe it was. I was then ready to take on the rest of my life as a happily retired man.
13: 65-90 | I am now in Erikson's stage 8, Integrity vs. Despair, and can feel my death approaching. Its good to know that I can look back, and be proud of all my accomplishments as a whole. If theres anything I am ever contemplating, its between to events that were positive in my lifetime. Nothing happened in my life that was negative enough to regret. I still think hypothetically (Piaget) about what might happen when I die, but I am happy enough with my life that I am not too worried about it.
14: Obituary I am a very proud man, and have very little regrets. My definite biggest regret would be only having one child, I feel another one would have helped Sarah and I spoil him a little less. I also want to thank all of my loved ones for being at my bedside. My brother, my son Steven, my brother in law, my cousins, and my 3 grandkids and any other family members or friends that were there or maybe couldn't make it, I love you all. I am definitely most proud of actually accomplishing my dream, I feel thats one of the most difficult things to do in life, and I did it with lots of hard work and effort. My final word is this; please don't dwell on my passing. I am so happy to have lived such a blessed life and its my time to leave, thank you all so much for all the support.