BC: But a list of things I appreciate about you, a cheesy poem, a few emails and some nice quotes all together still don't do you justice. Thank you for being you. Happy Valentines Day! Love, Shinhaeng :)
FC: Do Re Mi Fa... Sol :)
1: Hi oppa :) 1. It's Valentines Day 2. Even though we are "just friends" now (whatever that means), you are still kind of a special person to me... (I guess) 3. Unfortunately, we are thousands of miles apart. Taking all this into consideration... I thought about sending you a physical gift, but decided against it. Instead, I thought I'd express my gratitude and affection by attempting to create this virtual scrapbook. You'll find in it a number of things, including a list of things that I appreciate about you and a few bible verses/thoughts/blurbs/etc that I compiled during the two weeks that we didn't talk... Haha. :) My hope is that this makes your day at least a little bit brighter. Excuse the cheesiness... I read over everything after finishing it and i feel nauseous myself LOL. Bear with me though. You know I don't do this often!!
3: Things I appreciate about you (in no particular order)#1 to 5 1. You love coffee. Maybe a little too much. You might like to know that I now can't function without my morning coffee......... Thanks for the influence. 2. You share your music with me. It means a lot. 3. You keep it classy - aka DWENJANGNAM hehehe jk... 4. You are honest &open with me. Unless you're SO good at lying that I'm just mistaken. 5. You smile at me so genuinely. Just look left! :) HAHA.
4: Here is an excerpt from Crazy Love (by Francis Chan,) a book that I'm currently reading. This passage feels like mad rebuke (haha) but it spoke to me too powerfully. Just had to share! "I used to believe that in this world there are two kinds of people: natural worriers and naturally joyful people. I couldn’t really help it that I was the worrying kind. I’m a problem solver, so I have to focus on things that need fixing. God can see that my intensity and anxiety is ministry related. I worry because I take His work seriously. Right?" | "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9
5: "(continued) But then there’s that perplexing command: “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!” (Phil. 4:4). You’ll notice that it doesn’t end with “unless you’re doing something extremely important.” No, it’s a command for all of us, and it follows with the charge, “Do not be anxious about anything” (v. 6). That came as a pretty staggering realization. But what I realized next was even more staggering. When I am consumed by my problems – stressed out about my life, my family, and my job – I actually convey the belief that I think the circumstances are more important than God’s command to always rejoice. In other words, that I have a “right” to disobey God because of the magnitude of my responsibilities. Worry implies that we don’t quite trust that God is big enough, powerful enough, or loving enough to take care of what’s happening in our lives. Stress says that the things we are involved in are important enough to merit our impatience, our lack of grace toward others, or our tight grip of control. Basically, these two behaviors communicate that it’s okay to sin and not trust God because the stuff in my life is somehow exceptional. Both worry and stress reek of arrogance. They declare our tendency to forget that we’ve been forgiven, that our lives here are brief, that we are headed to a place where we won’t be lonely, afraid, or hurt ever again, and that in the context of God’s strength, our problems are small, indeed."
6: "Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." -Romans 12:12 | Things I appreciate about you #6 to 10 6. You say such sweet, sweet things.It does make me feel a little uncomfortable at times, but how can a girl not appreciate such sweetness? 7. You make my troubles your own. Like when I was irritated at Sophie... 8. You use an awful lot of :) smiley's. Whenever you do, I think of your actual smile! And I smile too. 9. You are loyal. And how many people in the world could we honestly say that about? Mmmmm not many. 10. I trust you, and (I think) you trust me. Even with all of that LOL---->
8: Roses are red, Violets are blue, This will be bad... At least I warned you. | Starbucks, L&M, my room and yours We studied everywhere Never got much done... Who cares?? We had fun there. | You are so ancient I should call you grandpa But since I am nice Guess I'll call you oppa. | From phone calls till late, To random nights out So many fun moments I'm sure you agree. | But thanks for your time Your wise words of wisdom. Your soshimhan friendship Always keep my days bright :)=] | Though miles apart, You still feel quite near So you should come visit :D I know your heart's here.
9: An Ode to Sol, written by an amateur poet. (Not to sengseknae or anything but I usually only write these awesome odes for special people's birthdays... so you should feel extra special now.)
10: 1/23 - Second day of not talking I asked God why the heck He made me do this if He’s going to make me feel so much worse afterwards. I asked Him that if this really is His will, that He gives me a sense of peace and assurance that I’m doing the right thing and that He will carry both of us through this process. Amazingly enough, God was faithful once again. I just got your email in which you explained how you view the situation and what you expect out of it. It was JUST the reassurance that I needed to get over this sense of guilt. We believe in an amazing God :) :) Anyways, now I think I’m beginning to have the confidence that I will be able to overcome this guilt and truly focus on my walk with God for the next few weeks. In the meantime, I still miss you like crazy and I can’t wait to hear about the thoughts and convictions that He gives you during this time. My favorite verse from today’s QT: “When we heard of it, our hearts melted in fear and everyone's courage failed because of you, for the Lord your God is God in heaven above and on the earth below.” (Joshua 2:11) This reminded me that GOD is the only thing in the world that we should fear. He alone is worthy of our fear and praise, because He is the God of heaven and of earth. :) | These are parts of emails that I wrote to you during the 2 weeks that we didn't talk.
11: A week or so later Looking around at the couples at Penn, all i see is brokenness and dysfunctional relationships. Non-Christian relationships especially, but even many Christian ones just end up with lots of hurt and bitterness. This is giving me a chance to reflect a lot on my relationship with you. First of all I’m so thankful that God is giving us this time off. Second of all, I’m realizing that even though I told myself that I was being prayerful throughout last semester, I actually wasn’t. My prayers were very shallow and selfish – I usually prayed briefly for guidance and wisdom, then used that brief prayer as a way of justifying everything I did. Basically I didn’t guard my heart in a way that I should have been, so I think God is teaching me some lessons. Also, we definitely don't want to be hurting each others emotions in any way, right? Anyhow, today I had dinner with a bunch of fob sophomores and sat next to Johnny. As usual, he was being his social self. I was amused by the situation but you know what I realized? It just didn’t feel right. I immediately texted Alicia and told her that I just spent a lot of time with Johnny but it just didn’t feel right. Some things in life, they just don’t feel right. As much as I love and care for Johnny as a brother and friend, it just does not make sense to go beyond that. Haha. Then comes the question – are YOU the right one? Haha, honestly who the heck knows. I can say for sure, though, the following: 1.My feelings for you are not fading as a result of not talking to you 2.If anything, my feelings for you are maturing into something much more stable and healthy 3.I’m finally truly being prayerful about our relationship 4.I’m confident that both of us will learn a lot from this. Okay I’m really sleepy now and also I don’t want to kill you with boredom, so good night :)
12: "The Lord is good and does what is right; He shows the proper path to those who go astray. He leads the humble in doing right, teaching them His way. The Lord leads with unfailing love and faithfulness all who keep His covenant and obey His demands.” -Psalms 25: 8-10
13: Things I appreciate about you #11 to 16 11. You make a conscious effort to get to know my friends. I know that we're young, silly, and immature, haha but the fact that you still try to be friends with my closest friends says a lot about your character. 12. You are SO soshim to me but sometimes so harsh/tough/daebum to others!! I approve mucho. 13. You put up with my sarcasm, my insults, and even my terrible jokes. Even Jenny and Alicia usually jung sek. Haha. 14. You greet me every morning and night with Kakaotalk... Almost feels like BBM all over again. :) 15. You never really express dissatisfaction with what I do or say or am. I hope it's because you have nothing to say, and not because you're just being nice... LOL. 16. Sometimes your inner aegyo comes out =]