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A Year In Review

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S: Mariah Byrne

BC: I enjoyed reading this book and hopefully you enjoyed this presentation. If you decide to read this book I'm almost 100% sure that you will like it.

FC: Everything is fine By: Ann Dee Ellis Project by: Mariah Byrne

1: Dedication: I dedicate this journal to Olivia, I hope she realizes how much mom and dad really love her. And also how much I love her. Hopefully she is in peace and doesn't have to deal with the kind of pain I'm going through with her death. Who has helped me through this is Normal thank you Norma for giving me Twinkies and weeding with me.

2: Entry #1 This all started when my parents wanted to have another little girl. When I found out that my parents were having Olivia I was so happy. The day she died was a different story. "The day Olivia died it was hot outside just like it is now."(117) I was getting ready to go to gymnastics and while my

3: mom was getting ready and being her normal self I put Olivia down outside because she was heavy. I got in the car and so did my mom. Not realizing that Olivia wasn't in the car my mom backed up and we felt a bump. I try not to think about that day and just say everything is fine.

4: Entry #2 My dad always had a dream to become this big spoke person for ESPN during the games. When he finally got the opportunity to live his dream he didn't think twice about taking the job. My mom and dad never fight, but this night they did. My mom was saying stuff about After Olivia died he

5: still made me go to school the next week.I still can't believe he left and told us he would be back, but three weeks later he still wasn't home. "When my dad left, he told me, leave your mother's art room alone, Maz. That is the only place that is off limits"(8) My mom used to do art, but since the incident the art room door stays closed. He says the art room is off limits, but am I really going to listen to him?

6: Entry #3 Mom wouldn't get out of her bed she wouldn't even wash herself. "Bill rolls her onto her stomach or onto her back." (15) I don't like to wash my mom because it is so hard. She won't do anything so it's hard to get her in the tub and out so I just don't do it. Bill ends up cleaning her private parts

7: and cleaning her. I wish she would just do it herself and be normal. I like to tell myself that everything is fine and that we don't need help. Ugh if only Olivia hadn't died. Mom would be normal and she wouldn't stay in bed 24/7.

8: Entry 4 There is barely any food in the house. Since dad left there is no one to go to the grocery store and get food so dad asked Bill to do it."''He asked Bill to bring us food bill asked someone else, she forgets sometimes.'' (16) I normally just eat marshmallows I heat them up in the microwave and eat them that way. Mom eats her sorbet and her pills.

9: Entry #5 The weather is so hot today. I wish it wasn't like this all the time. "It is 108 today" (18) If I lived in New Mexico I would die. It is to hot, if we didn't have a sprinkler I couldn't survive. I know | summer is supposed to be hot, but dealing with the weather on top of my mom and everything else I just can't do it.

10: Entry #6 Mrs. Dean thinks that she is helping me by taking me out for a "girls day" I don't need a girls | day what I need is for this lady to leave me alone. So we go out to a yoga lesson and then we go to the most terrible place she could take me... GAP. I like to annoy Mrs. Dean "But for some reason

11: Entry #7 I can't help it. Mrs. Dean is on my nerves. She's acting like she knows me." (62) which bothers me a lot. If you don't know me don't act like you do. I don't need her sympathy.

12: Entry #8 My mom used to be really good at art. In fact she has her own art room. My mom would always be in her art room painting beautiful pieces of art. She always asked me to do art with her "I never | tried to do art before" (95) but now I wish I had. I miss my mom I wish she would go back to herself and create art and be happy.

13: Entry #9 The worst thing that has ever happened that scared me the most is when my mom locked herself in the bathroom. "I pound and pound until my fists are red and my throat hurts from | yelling"(102). I start crying because there is no way of me getting into the bathroom unless she unlocks the door. I just sit there and then I remember the screw driver. I can get into the bathroom with that.

14: Entry #10 When my dad comes home he talks about having my mom get professional help, I don't want her to leave I don't want to leave. Everything is | fine. I'm going to take my mom away. Colby and I are going to take her and dad will never get to put her in one of those hospitals. I

15: decide to do it at night when dad is sleeping. I try to pick my mom up out of bed but she won't move she is resisting. Please get up."Please, mom. You have to help me." (149) you don't want to go to the hospital. She won't move, and then I realize that my mom does need help, and everything is not fine.

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