S: Barbara and Jack -- The First 50 Years, 1961-2011
BC: “Children and Art”
FC: The First 50 Years | Side By Side 1961-2011 | Barbara and Jack | 2011
1: “PUTTING IT TOGETHER” (with thanks and apologies to Stephen Sondheim) | You've made it look simple, but as the Bard of Broadway observed, “Art isn't easy.” And yours is not “just another love story.” From the beginning, you may not have seemed a likely couple (at least not to your parents). One of you is a scientist, the other an historian; one reserved and methodical, the other effusive and spontaneous. And one of you once voted for a Republican! Yet somehow these “parallel lines” managed to meet, thanks to Mom's prowess in high school physics. Once you found each other, nothing could separate you for long – not the senior prom (or lack thereof), or college, or even the U.S. Army. You braved the hardships of pneumonia and Augusta, Georgia, to make it “through the woods” and create a family (one cat, one baby, one Beetle). “Good times and bum times, you've seen 'em all.” You've weathered divestiture, Allentown, and IPO's; Russell Ranney, Rutgers, Kean and Leisure Learning; a colicky baby, a palatal expander, and Princeton tuition. You've collected PhD's and Yoshitoshis and uncountable cat hairs. You've lost dear family and friends, but gained even more. And you're still here – “year after year, side by side.” What might not have been obvious at first is certainly clear now: you've “always belonged together.” While in your hearts, “home is the place,” you've also reached out to the wider world, through your travel on four continents, and through your service to others. You've lent your time, talents, and mimeograph machine to a range of worthy causes, keeping the funds flowing to CBE and PSRC; keeping the books balanced for the coop and the condo; keeping the chamber music playing from Red Bank to Doylestown; engaging the minds and inspiring the spirits of learners young and old. You've enriched the lives of hundreds of people, but most of all mine. It's true “growing up” I did not always appreciate having the meanest mother on the block, who forced me to eat homemade yogurt and live tomatoes; or the only dad with long hair, who struggled valiantly to share with me the wonders of science. However, “children will listen.” I now know how extraordinarily blessed I was to have parents who taught by example to follow my passions, take pride in my work, treasure friends and family, and not care too much what other people think (even the entire third grade). You have provided unfailing support of every kind, first to me, and later to Chris and the boys. “What would we do without you?” I am thankful every day to have you for my role models – as individuals, and as a “perfectly lovely couple.” Chris and I can only aspire to get through our next 25 years with equal integrity, generosity, passion and style. All my love, gratitude, and admiration, Robin June 10, 2011 | “Bit by bit,” over the last fifty years, the two of you have created your own masterpiece of a life together. This “pretty little picture” has been composed of a devoted partnership, loving family, rewarding work (both paid and unpaid), and meaningful friendships; and has been highlighted by all those “little things you do together” – art, theater, music, books and travel (not to mention a lot of great food and good wine). You truly elevate “being alive” to an art. But then the two of you have always been real livers!
2: THIS IS OUR FAMILY TREE
3: Jack II c. 1912 | Jack III 1938 | Robin 1965 | Jacob 1996 | Adam 2000 | Duke 2007 | Christmas 2003 | "Who's that baby in the pictures?" | Hays and Winley 2010 | Family Reunion 2001 | Bill, Jack, Breck c. 1964 | Kam, Robin, Kim Christmas 1980 | Jacob, Quinton, Adam, Victoria, Miles
4: THOSE GOOD AND CRAZY PEOPLE | OUR FRIENDS
5: THE NAMING OF CATS | Serendipity | Sebastian and McCavity | Whitewalls | Neko | Norton | Yoshi | Tom, Jerry and Mousse | Max | "The Street Gang" The Spangs' Beach House 2008 | Eda and Mark, Wyeth Homestead 1989
6: Come Together | Thanksgiving 2000 | Christmas 1966 | Christmas 1983 | Thanksgiving 1974 | Thanksgiving 1979 | Kim's Wedding 2011 | Christmas 2006 | Thanksgiving 1998
7: To Celebrate | To Graduate | To Collate? | Sally's Bat Mitzvah 1978 | 70th Birthday Bash 2008 | 1964 | 1982 | 1984 | 1988
8: Getting Married Today | Katie and Kam 2000 | Karen and Patrick 2003 | Robin and Chris 1986 | Kate and Dan 2008
9: Adam's Christening 2000 | Brooke and Bill 1993 | Jacob's Christening 1997 | Rita and Bill 1989 | Kim and Doug 2011
10: BY THE SEA | Cape May 1984 | LBI 1992 | LBI 2001 | 1969 | LBI 2004 | 2007 | 2005 | LBI 2005
11: indian creek rd, july 4. 1970 | LBI 2008 | LBI 2001 | LBI 1998 | The Bubble | LBI 2005
12: Merrily We Roll Along | Ithaca 2000 | Christmas 2002 | Washington D.C. 1977 | 1999 | Saugatuck 1997 | Adventureland 1997 | Christmas 1998 | Christmas 2005 | Franklin Institute 2001
13: Kansas 2010 | Venice 1978 | Kansas 2010 | Arkansas 2009 | LBI 2005 | 2005 | LBI 2009 | Christmas 2005
14: Celebrate What Passes By | The Doctor is in! 1995 | July 4, 2010 | Christmas 2006 | Jacob's Shower 1996 | Christmas 1994 | Jacob and Victoria's 1st Birthday Party | "And when I go out in my coach..."
15: Jacob's 2nd Birthday | Will Willis' Birthday 2008 | Jacob's 13th Birthday | Adam's 1st Birthday | 1966 | Wine Racking 2009 | c. 1969 | "When you wake up in the morning, Pooh," said Piglet at last, "what's the first thing you say to yourself?" "What's for breakfast?" said Pooh. "What do you say, Piglet?" "I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?" said Piglet. Pooh nodded thoughtfully. "It's the same thing," he said." | Prom dates at last!
16: All Together Now... | The Tomlinson Trio, c. 1974 | 1999 | 2001 | 2007 | 2002 | 1997 | 2004 | 2009 | 2011
17: Jacob 1996 | Barbara 1940 | Ada and Robin 1965 | Robin and Adam 2000 | Barbara and friend c. 1939 | Adam 2003 | Jack 2003 | Adam, Mousse and friend 2001
18: Art Glass Cruise 2005 | Mount Vernon 1977 | Here, There and Everywhere | Gillette Castle, CT 1973 | Chicago 2008 | Camden 2006 | Hyde Park 2002 | Fallingwater 2010 | Hawaii 1962 | Percé, Canada 1969 | Storm King 2004
19: Rome 1991 | St. Petersburg 2001 | Japan 1981 | Japan 1981 | Where to next? | Spain 1999 | Egypt 1993 | St. Petersburg 2001 | Munich 1982
20: WE'VE BEEN TO LONDON TO VISIT THE QUEEN | Happy Birthday, Ma'am (as in "ham"), 1976 | 1978 | 2008 | The Yanks Are Coming! 1976 | "Before a cat will condescend To treat you as a trusted friend Some little token of esteem Is needed, like a dish of cream." | "Thanksgiving" 2002 | 1978
21: Barbara and I met in our senior year at Barnard, as members of the Education program. We were friendly, but not particularly friends. Both of us, independently, decided to enter the MAT program at the Harvard Ed School. Barbara was going to marry Jack; I wanted to be at Harvard--in any school--because Mark was going to graduate school there. Jack and Barbara had rented an apartment near MIT. I--an absolute innocent--had made no plans for housing at all. Jack had friends among the MIT co-eds who had rented an apartment in the same complex, beginning in June. Three of the four of them would be in Cambridge for the summer; they needed a summer fill-in for the 4th. There I was, ready and willing. The summer passed. The 4th girl arrived, and there I was, again without housing. Meanwhile, Jack and Barbara had postponed their wedding until the end of the year. (A tale left for another time....) This was 1960, remember. In general, unmarried couples did not co-habitate. So suddenly, they needed to pay for two apartments. Barbara needed a roommate in a hurry, and there I was, available. So I moved in. It turned out to be an excellent "shidduch" (Yiddish for "match", in the sense of marriage.) Apparently, middle and eastern European origins trump religious dogma. We liked the same music, similar food (modulo my dietary restrictions) and were generally compatible. But, probably the factors that led to the general peace and companionship were the fact that we both had boyfriends (no fighting over men, no girls without dates) and that the living arrangement had a clear and fixed termination: Jack and Barbara would marry in June and I would move out. Which brings us to the wedding... It's hard to believe it was 50 years ago, except that I remember only snatches of it. (I remember only bits of my own wedding, for that matter.) I remember that it was cloudy, I remember packing up the wedding presents after the wedding, I remember that Jack's mother served cream with the cereal for Mark at breakfast before the ceremony. I think that Karen wore a blue dress. I don't remember what I wore at all. I remember thinking that it was a very pretty wedding. Obviously, Jack and Barbara were also an excellent shidduch. Their marriage has lasted for 50 years--a major accomplishment in this day and age. They produced a lovely daughter, acquired a charming son-in-law and two terrific grandboys (you can all stop blushing; this is an occasion for hyperbole!) and, as far as we are concerned, they are the most amazing friends. Mazal tov!!! Love, Eda and Mark | One of my favorite books is "Mrs. Jack," as the title always brings a smile to my face thinking if anyone wrote a book about Barbara & Jack, would it be Mr. Barbara or Mrs. Jack (forgiving the Walter). This duo is awesome. Barbara is an intellectual inspiration to so many, but that back up techno is invaluable - the timer, direction finder, the fabulous photographer & support (never a complaint) - the two just make it work. We have been with you in many corners of the world, and we love you, Barbara & Jack, and plan to hit many more corners of the world with you. Barbara & Philip
22: Of all the gifts that come with the joy of having a sister, the most precious are the intangible, the daily assurance of knowing that someone else wakes to each day, holding within themselves the shared memories of our earliest days on this earth to the present morning. We are never totally alone. Yet there are also tangible gifts as well. And my most memorable one from you, dear sister, is when the bulls were not running, you both saved me from being eaten by the bears. Happy Anniversary to a wonderful sister and a more wonderful couple! All my love, Karen | Christmas 1959 | When you see a teacher throughout the hours of a school day, it comes as quite a revelation that there's an adult who occupies her life for all those other hours! I believe the first time I realized there was a "Mr." to "Mrs. Tomlinson" was during the 1971 Teen Arts Festival at Ranney School. It wasn't so much that he showed up, as that he stood, tall, sentinel-like behind the petite woman in a squash-colored shantung (or was it cotton?) dress with side slits...and they both had long hair! They were the most exotic couple in an environment filled with socially awkward adults and their doppelganger offspring who looked like they had walked out of the L.L. Bean catalog. Funny what you remember from being 14. It's only by looking back that I can identify what, for me, made Barbara and Jack such a stand-out couple: never afraid to be original. Always curious. But best of all, devoted. Much love, Helen PS: Really, if you didn't honeymoon at the Pink Palace in Honolulu, don't you think your 50th would be an appropriate event for such a commemoration?
23: Dear Barbara and Jack, Happy, Happy Anniversary, the 50th I hear. Can it be 24 years or almost half your married life that I have known you? I don’t quite remember the year I met you, Barbara, but I do know my life was altered forever from that point on. Someone said to me, “You are going to love this woman,” and boy were they correct. I was just knocked out: first and foremost by you as a teacher -- so knowledgeable, so enthusiastic, so dedicated, so caring... so! And then there was the way you dressed -- so very “right out of Vogue” -- not the usual attire of a Kean faculty member; AND then that you seemed to like me, I mean really LIKE me; like even want to spend time with me and pick my brain, kind of like me!!! And then those places where you chose to hang your hat: the Holmdel house that seemed to float in the trees, and then the move to Princeton and a house that could only belong to a very posh couple in an elegant stage play -- oh wait, that’s you and Jack!!!! And our trips together: Pittsburgh, London twice, Cleveland (for God’s sake), Niagara-on-the-Lake, The Sculpture Garden, New York City, Newark, Philadelphia, Chicago -- plays, concerts, art museums, lectures, great restaurants, all of them memorable, all of them a learning experience. The most important thing I take away from our relationship is the lesson of love and admiration you have for each other, which you in turn share with all the rest of us. I treasure you both and wish you many more years of happy days together, and I hope I continue to get to be a part of the “lesson.” So in the name of the ways you have Inspired me and the ways you have Celebrated the arts with me and the ways you have Trumpeted the value of the educated mind, I salute you both. With great fondness, Peggy Dunn and Tom2 | I have wonderful memories of playing Trivial Pursuit with either Ernie or Ed (my last two husbands: can't always keep those early years straight!) and you in the new greenhouse room, bright and filled with plants. We would drink wine and argue over which team had the best answer. I also recall an amusing story Barbara told me regarding your driveway. After a bad snowstorm, one of you came sliding down in your car and slammed into the garage door; the following day, the other one drew a bull's eye on the door- a perfect target for a second slide down. Finally, I remember Barbara's anguishing over the history award recipient the year Robin graduated from Ranney. Of course, she was the only choice, but Barbara worried it would appear to be "favoritism." Anne Axt and I "hooted" her out of the faculty room. Obviously, she gave in. Happy Anniversary! Love, Ginny
24: Stephen Spang's Wedding 1992 | July 4, 1977 | Memorial Day 1970 | Oh, the many good times we have had with you, Barbara and Jack, since you moved to Indian Creek Road, in the late 60s. Those were the days! We planted a wonderful vegetable garden together in our yard. First we made a plan, then, in the early spring we had fun looking through catalogs and ordering seeds from the inviting pictures. Then we somehow obtained a truckload of manure and hauled it down to the plot that we had cultivated. Soon we enjoyed peas, lettuce, broccoli, zucchini, tomatoes, peppers, strawberries, green beans and other delicious produce. And then there was the food co-op that we operated out of several of our basements in the neighborhood. We played grocery store with the idea of saving money by buying in quantity, quality products. We would go to Englishtown very early Saturday morning and bring home quantities of food at a good price. Or we would go to wholesale dealers north of us and bring home large wheels of Jarlsburg or boxes of yogurt and much else to be divided so that families could come on a certain day to pick up their orders. Jack kept our finances in order. And there were the many neighborhood family gatherings, Memorial Day or 4th of July picnics, Thanksgiving at our home or New Year's Eve at yours. At these times there was always delicious food and a real sense of friendship. Together we watched our children grow up. Later we would call ourselves the "Street Gang." How could I ever forget the years driving to Ranney School with you, Barbara, and your mentoring me as a new teacher there. Although much work was involved, I loved my students and “family” at that school, and you were a big help and a big part of that experience. Barbara, thanks for introducing me to Ranney School! It was very sad for us when you moved to Princeton, but we were happy for you. Since then we have gotten together less frequently; however, we have kept in touch, taking trips together -- nearby to New York City, and far away, most recently, to western Pennsylvania to tour Fallingwater, the Frank Lloyd Wright House. We continue to enjoy your tutelage and eagerness to share your knowledge of arts, culture and history. Getting together with you has always been fun and interesting, with many lively, thought-provoking discussions. Through the years we have continued to share many experiences as our children were growing up to face the future; and now our grandchildren are going through similar stages, and our families evolve in a changing world. Barbara and Jack, you have been true friends of ours and always will be! We wish you a very Happy 50th Anniversary and many more wonderful years together. Love, Anne & Sam
25: July 4, 1977 | Memorial Day 1970 | VIGNETTES FROM INDIAN CREEK ROAD Being delighted to have a family move in with a daughter the same age as ours Barb complaining that you only had healthy snacks -- how times have changed, now she tells her kids to eat the healthy snacks Helping the Sewards build their pool Having pool parties at the Sewards' when they were out of town Sam (the 4 legged one) being the first one to use your pool Holland Coop -- Jack keeping our finances in shape while we drove to Englishtown Market very early on a Saturday, and later to Royal Diary Looking at the cracks in our driveway and remembering Geologist Jack explaining the seepage areas in the soil New Year’s party when you gave us a cloth cover for the new street lights which we hated Having Fourth of July parties with fireworks (illegal, of course) But most of all, being glad that we can still enjoy getting together to celebrate birthdays with lobster dinners and visit art museums with Barbara’s wonderful guidance Love, Sede and Tom | The first week we lived on Indian Creek Road, in August 1971, Barbara invited us by phone to come over for a swim and tea. We arrived to be introduced to Jack, who was standing in the pool. Roger asked him what he did. Jack said, “I don’t really know;” so Roger, trying to be smart, replied, “Oh, I’m a physicist too!” On another memorable day, in the mid-seventies, I had parked our large sedan at the top of our driveway, with the girls in it. I put it in park, but did not pull on the emergency brake, and ran back into the house for something. As I came out, I saw the car rolling down the driveway. As the car crossed the cul-de-sac, Jackie opened a door and jumped out. The car continued towards the top of your driveway with Sian crouched down on the back floor. Beate’s big old wagon was parked in front of your garage, and I could just imagine what would happen. But by sheer good fortune, the front wheel caught the left curb of the driveway, and the car veered towards the woods. It ended up straddled across the stream, balanced on the retaining walls on either side. Sian got safely out. I, of course, was in a dreadful state, but Barbara was very comforting and provided the necessary tea. Somehow someone collected my parents from the airport, which is where I had been going. When Jack came home, he didn’t even notice the car, since it was dark green and blended in with the foliage. The next day we hired a tow truck with a big winch to haul the car back up to the road. For us, that day was unforgettable. Thanks to Jack, we put our basement to good use at one time or another. It was first used for storage of school kits produced by the Committee for a Better Environment, when Gilli took them out to schools for the teachers. Another use was as the distribution center for the Food Co-op. Happy days! At the end of the Indian Creek Road habitation, we helped the move by conveying the plants (I think it took both our cars) and driving them over to Princeton. Gilli and Roger
26: Happy Fiftieth, Barbara and Jack! Barbara was a welcome addition to the General Education faculty at Kean College. The core faculty were a close knit group, a family of sorts, taking their commitment to a liberal arts approach to education seriously. We, ( I was the Assistant Director and Dr. Daniel O'Day was the Director) met on a regular basis There was a mix of resident and adjunct faculty representing a wide range of disciplines. I think that was one of the things that made it so interesting. The monthly meetings of the core coordinators were agonizing but challenging meetings about pedagogy, speakers, consultants, strategies. Barbara was a dynamic teacher, bringing to the classroom not only an historical approach to the culture, art and politics, etc. of times past, but also insight into practical applications: that is, the relevance to life today. I was fortunate enough to audit her class in anticipation of one day teaching that course. She made the subject come alive. You did not fall asleep in her class - that's for sure!! One practical application she talked about was the difference between "Needs and Wants." I remember that lesson even today and share it with my Research & Technology students as well as my family. I believe it to be an important concept that most parents do not teach their kids in this age of instant gratification. Every semester the ICT students and their instructor had a required trip to the Metropolitan Museum of Art as well as attendance at a Symphony Presentation at Kean. It is no simple task taking 30-35 students through the Met--Barbara made it look easy. One year, in our infinite wisdom and faith in the student body, Dr. O'Day, Barbara and I planned and took a bus load of students to Washington, DC for an overnight trip. By bus we were able to see the Vietnam Wall, Lincoln Memorial, Senate Building, Library of Congress, Government Printing Office and so much more. In the evening, we used the metro system to visit the Folger Theatre, and the Kennedy Center. Our last site, on the last day, was Mount Vernon, and it poured all day. Barbara and I got the brainy idea to dry our hair under the hand dryers in the ladies room. What a sight that was! (But it did work.) So many memories. I could go on and on. On a personal level, Barbara and Jack invited George and me to their home in Holmdel and then to their Open House when they moved to Princeton. We went for lunch on occasion and I remember that Barbara helped us celebrate our daughter's graduation from Kean. She went to lunch with my family. Barbara, do you remember when you and I took a trip up to Hyde Park to visit the FDR Library? Remember how cold it was? When I retired in 2006, Barbara met me in NYC at the Met and treated me to dinner and Theater in the Round at Lincoln Center. We saw Contact. What a great play. Thanks for the wonderful memories, Cecelia Rover
27: Happy Fiftieth! Alas, I have no photographs of CBE potlucks at the Unitarian Church, or of School Board campaigning, or of a lovely but evidently cold (we were obliged to buy sweaters) weekend in Cape May. There are pictures in my mind's eye. Maybe I'm mistaken, but I can't help thinking that we're not as earnest as we used to be, but are doing more things - like NJSO concerts - that are fun. The pictures I do have are from two of the trips to Spain that you led. The trips were wonderful, even if the pix are a little blurry. Happy Anniversary! Nancy and Martin | Angelic Generosity There I was, minding my own business, conducting a chamber orchestra at Kean College as a last minute replacement, and having a good time with the audience, during and after the performance. Some lady with excitement in her eyes and a radiant smile on her face introduced herself as Barbara, and asked if I'd like to teach the course of which that concert was a component. Having never stayed conscious in a museum in my life, this was a stretch, to say the least, but she assured me she'd help. Did she honestly know what she was getting into? I think not. Clearly, we both had a sense of adventure, as I said yes, and she probably said Oy. Indeed, every week after doing the reading in preparation for the course, I called Barbara, and she flexed her irreverent historical muscles talking about the artwork with such enthusiasm and insight that I was totally drawn in, and was inspired to teach each week. The one time she may have totally regretted her folly was on the first class trip to the Metropolitan Museum. I hadn't been there before, and as we walked up the center staircase, we found ourselves facing David's Death of Socrates. For some reason, I never allowed for the fact that this painting WASN'T in France, so I turned to Barbara and quietly asked, "Is that the real thing, or a copy?" She looked at me with a combination of utter disbelief, and a generous remnant of affection, and said, "EVERYTHING here is the real thing!" Lord knows what was going through her head at that moment, but to my continuing amazement, she still talks to me, and she and Jack even take me to dinner when they come to Santa Monica! Angelic generosity! Brad
28: An Institution It works equally well to name the institution Jack & Barbara or Barbara & Jack and that's one of the reasons they are an institution. Some couples become institutions but not even long-lasting marriages are necessarily institutions. If institution sounds stuffy/formal/"institutional," it is certainly not my intent here. I'm thinking instead about structure, substance, significance, and panache. Regarding structure, they have built an amazing edifice of education --knowledge and respect for knowledge and truth. This is an incomplete, ever-expanding edifice (they like high ceilings). Jack gets great enjoyment from his knowledge of and contributions to science. The word that pops for Barbara is fierce – her fierce determination to help others expand their horizons, deepen their knowledge, and sharpen their critical thinking. The institution is a tour-de-force when they set out together for Barbara's teaching events with Jack's handling of supporting images. A lot of light is brought to bear. The fact that Barbara & Jack/Jack & Barbara are a vibrant institution makes life richer for all of us who know them. Bill Happy 50th Wedding Anniversary: 10 June 2011
29: “¡OLE! FLAMENCO!” “¡OLE! FLAMENCO!” One night out on the town in Spain We stayed long after midnight “¡ole! Flamenco!” “¡ole! Flamenco!” In a small dark crowded café Waiting for dancers to take the stage “¡ole! Flamenco!” “¡ole! Flamenco!” The way to el cuatro de baño was blocked With no room to walk between the tables “¡ole! Flamenco!” “¡ole! Flamenco!” With time awastin’ you in your pretty white frock Found graceful passage under our table in the dark “¡ole! Flamenco!” “¡ole! Flamenco!” Congratulations on your 50th Anniversary Love, Janice