S: YOU'RE A SURVIVOR
BC: Remember.... YOU SURVIVED
FC: YOU'RE A SURVIVOR | BY TERRIE LUTZ
1: This book is dedicated to anyone and everyone who has ever known or been affected by a perpetrator...
2: IF If I could make all Perps disappear How many folks Would remain standing here If perps could not breed would there be any need to protect little kids and keep them off the streets Could they laugh and play their summer days away Without pain and fear Of a stranger being near Oh what a place This world would be If no one had to fear Sitting up on someones knee
3: IF I KNEW If I knew what I wanted I wouldn't be here If the answers came easily Or the truth became clear If I were smart beyond my years There'd be no need And I wouldn't be here I’d be out about and off to play Living and loving each and every new day But the answers aren't easy And the truth is unclear I don't know what to do I feel the need to be here I hope you can steer me In just the right way To learn what I want And pursue a new way I want to be happy Just not sure I know how I feel older than dirt Right about now Yet there's hope for the future I hope and I pray To soon be happy with every new day
4: ? How could you do that? I feel so bad I was so blind But now I’m just madd You were my hero I loved you so The signs were so clear Did I not want to know? I know from experience The hell they must have lived through But what hurts most is knowing The pain caused was by you I didn't ever consider it I was blinded by love My buddy, my friend – not another perverted guy Who can you trust? Is anyone safe? Your teacher, your mailman, your doctor or priest? They say a man's mind is ruled by his dick But to prey on small children is the utmost of sick What's this world coming to? How much lower can we go? I’d like to think the worlds safer with you gone But I know it isn't so
5: IF I WAS SO TOUGH If I was so tuff - And I was so brave I’d walk right up - And piss on his grave I’d spit in his face - Cut off a piece of his ear Sometimes I wish - He were still here Cause I’d poke him in his eye - Then stab him in his thigh I’d teach him a lesson - For making little girls cry I’d bring him to his knees - I’d make him beg and then plead I’d tear out his heart - Then watch him bleed If I was so tuff - and I was so brave I’d I’d I’d...........
6: My weight is a blanket Which keeps me warm and secure When I am so vulnerable Cold and unsure I dream of love and happiness Each day and each night But when "He" comes a knocking I lock the door tight I'd wish I could love So I wouldn't be lonely There's only so much warmth In a blanket of cheezy macaroni If only I could allow myself To unlock that door I'd have no excuse To be lonely anymore
7: I'm going on a walk just me myself and I Down a path of self destruction and I don't know why I really don"t think I hate myself, but I've been on this trip awhile The road seems never ending, as I walk mile after mile Not sure how long I've been walking, but I'm getting pretty beat Seems like I'm going in circles, and can no longer stand the heat Why do I do this to myself, I truly do not know Surely my past is not my fault, as everyone tells me so I tried to turn not long ago, and walk a straighter path But soon I stumbled and I fell, just look at the aftermath I'm smoking a whole pack a day, and eating myself into a grave This month alone I've gained 12 pounds, and don't know what to say I don't know why I'm on this road, or just how long I'll stay Why can't I just turn around , and go another way When will this journey end I ask, I wish that I could say I'll do my part to help my heart, and walk another way
8: MISS S A kindred spirit Is more than a friend Its a special bond - that just won't end A chosen sister is what you are A treasure, a gem - a hand picked star You are so kind, you are so true I feel the pain Of all you've lived through But we survived - we've come so far Now is the time - to learn just who we are No more buried secrets From the past - the time has come It's here at last Open our hearts - let ourselves feel We'll learn together just how to heal It's over now – my hand I extend I’m here when you need me Your sister your friend
9: TO MISS - R I missed hearing your story- yes this is true But I’ve been told bits and pieces Of what you've been through Although you're past may be filled with great pain Talking and sharing will help you to mend I feel theres more you're not sharing You seem evasive and vague Like what's the big deal - You won't tell us your age We each have our issues but we've decided to heal I feel bad for you girl – heres a chance for something real We've all been through it – But we want it to end It really seems to me – you don't want to mend It's like your tormenting yourself - because of your past Perhaps keeping it all in - so the pain will last So why are you hiding even from us? Your young and your strong – you know what to do You have seven new friends - to see you through We came here together – to learn how to trust How could we hurt you? What could we do? Put it on a billboard – Shout it from the roof Open your heart – Just let someone in Share your heartaches – So your healing can begin Pick just one person and let them come in Get rid of the secrets – and make a true friend With time and with patience – you will find your way To have faith and pray – and live life day by day
10: TO MISS - A You've been through so much At the hand of your mother It's not the same as a sister or brother Any abuse is awful – it is so true But the pain and anguish she put you through Such a young child – You cry “God Why Me”? You wish to wake up – find it all a bad dream You've got to realize – you did nothing wrong It was she who was to protect you and keep you from harm A demented soul, she must have been To hurt you and use you time and again In your mind is it possible – to split her in two A kind loving mother and an evil one too A sick twisted mind – It must have been true To do all the things she did unto you No one deserves such treatment for sure Especially a child put on this Earth by her Don't try to understand it There's no answer I’m sure Her mind was infected and there was no cure You may never forget – nor forgive The past may never cease – but somehow Someway – I pray you find peace
11: TO MISS - D They've got to know you're telling the truth If it were a lie just what would it prove? To cause so much pain – there's nothing to gain They need you to think your going insane In all there hearts – they know it's the truth But once admitted – There's so much to lose They know that it happened – but feel it's long past There not aware the pain is deep and can truly last Don't doubt yourself – they have no clue There just afraid of what the truth will do Admit to yourself that your pain is real Only then can you finally begin to heal Know in their hearts they believe you – they do There just afraid of what the truth will do Your father may never look you square in the eye It's only because he knows that he's lied I believe he'd admit it – If only to you He's just afraid of what the truth would do
12: TO MISS - W The nightmares you have that wake you at night They fill you with dread and scare you with fright You'd like to know if your dreams are true Could it be real – did it happen to you? You'd like to get all the secrets out But fates going slowly there is no doubt You'd like to believe the dreams are not true That someone could do such evil things to you You'd want to remember - know if it's real So you can accept it and finally begin to heal Maybe you cant handle the truth all at once But by small bits and pieces or ounce by ounce You've tried many things to comfort you soul But feeding your vices won't make you feel whole Your life is so worth it – you're beautiful and kind You deserve only the best – keep it always in mind You must embrace yourself and let yourself grieve For all that's been lost - has gone out to sea You can be happy I have no doubt Pamper yourself as the truth spills out Your future happiness is what is at stake Be kind to yourself – each time that you wake
13: TO MISS - J Your pain goes so deep - It's easy to see You wear your heart - on the edge of your sleeve You are so unhappy - life seems so unfair He's changed from the past - yet you're stuck in despair Each tear is a memory that drops from your eye You insist your ok - but know it's a lie Years of therapy - only to see You're in so much pain by what he did to thee Robbed of your innocence - left on your own No longer his princess - Up on his thrown No man's ever lived up - or began to repay The love or the trust - In which he took away Being so lonely when - you're not really alone Seems a harsh punishment When you did nothing wrong You've told your story - You've set yourself free Embrace what life offers and learn to love thee
14: TO MISS - T As you sit there I start to think What is the pull that causes you to drink? You don't look happy or joyful to me Sitting on the thrown as sick as can be I try to talk to you and get you to bed You become angry and mean Downright out of your head I ask you why you do this time and again You say you don't know and the puking begins There's got to be a reason –something deep within If you won't talk to me please turn to your friends I’m afraid for your future – it's looking pretty grim
15: TO MISS - L Were not really sure why she's acting this way Is it a mid life crisis – Who can say She wants everyone to think it's because of “God” But I believe “she” knows why she's acting this way She's no longer the person we thought that we knew Could it possibly be from all she's been through? A difficult childhood with a screwed up dad Can she ever admit – it was really very bad If she could just open her eyes and see Admit the truth and set her self free Not keep it all bottled tightly inside Living each day while trying to hide She's filled with sorrow, anger and pain She must feel she's partly to blame She needs to face facts - Admit it was “he” who was insane Who is she protecting? The mans dead and gone She needs to speak up so she can move on There's a good kind soul buried deep within She means so much to her family and friends She wants to forget - at any cost I hope God brings back the one who seems lost Admit the truth – if only to her self Then she can get the right kind of help Life is too short to live it in pain I pray she lets go, so she can live again.
16: Mr. J It's who you are now Not where you've been Now is the time To start fresh again The road has been rough but you've come so far Now is the time To find out who you are Don't try so hard To forget your past Remember and learn Make changes that last You know in your heart The man you want to be So be yourself and live guilt free Hour by hour and day by day Become passionate about life And remain that way The past is now over Let go of the pain Find joy in today and every- day
17: YOU You truly are a diamond in the rough A superb gem worth digging up A genuine prize worth fighting for Please Eeyore, why do you hang your head so low? Why do you focus on a few small internal inclusions? With their un-cut lack luster shine? To the untrained eye, a rock shall you remain, Eeyore sits there feeling somewhat dull and unappreciated Yet I see your potential, your clarity, brilliance and beauty Just lying beneath the surface waiting to be dusted off and Polished up for the entire world to see Not long ago I remember someone saying Who will cry for the little boy? Who walks the burning sand? I say who will “fight” for the boy? Trapped inside the man? Take time to weep for that young child - Who did absolutely nothing wrong Then ask God to help you forgive - So that you may hold your head strong Grow to be that man within - You keep so tightly guarded Let God lead you down the path - So you never will feel thwarted You know that you can do this - You have a great power within Anything you aspire to do - You only have to begin Put your head up Eeyore, Keep yourself focused You now know what you're meant to do Lean on the Holy Father above And let your magnificent light shine through.
18: A FRESH NEW START A brand new place A fresh new start Take the time To search your heart We may not know why Things happen as they do But perhaps just maybe Someone's looking out for you A way to start over Most everyone's dream A fresh new slate Totally wiped clean
19: YOURE A SURVIVOR You're a survivor you knew what to do Anything you had to in order to make it through They took away your power Your innocence and youth They left you to live with the God, awful truth Made to believe it was all your fault Open the wound just to cover it with salt Left filled with anger, sorrow and pain Afraid to love anyone, consumed with such shame Each day is a test to see how you do Old perpetrators die, yet your stuck with you Remind your self always, you made it through You survived a living hell But your futures now up to you