S: Mr. Bunny and the Great Tickle Monster By Jonathan Arditi
BC: Never judge a book by it's cover, because that book may prove to be one of three things: 1. An all-star "ball" player 2. An ultra-rich and famous pencil manufacturer 3. A good friend In all of history, only one person has ever gone beyond these three rules. That is the case of Arthur Kentmore Harvey. He was all three.
FC: Mr Bunny and the Great Tickle Monster By Jonathan Arditi
1: Dedicated to all those good folks who helped make this story what it is today . . . | Never judge a book by it's cover, because that book may prove to be one of three things: 1. An all-star "ball" player 2. An ultra-rich and famous pencil manufacturer 3. A good friend In all of history, only one person has ever gone beyond these three rules. That is the case of Arthur Kentmore Harvey. He was all three.
2: “And what's this?” exclaimed Arthur Kentmore Harvey as he held up a pencil. He held it by the tip, delicately as if it might explode in his face. “That’s called a pencil,” I sighed. “We use it to write things.” “I thought that thing was called a pencil,” he asked, pointing to a mechanical pencil lying on the nearby desk. “There are many different kinds of pencils.” I explained to him, aggravated. He wasn't perturbed; he didn’t notice my aggravation. He was like a kid who just opened his eyes into the world. “And what's this??!!” He asked, dropping the pencil to admire a telephone lying next to the other pencil. I couldn't wait until the Tri-Universal Transportation Apparatus was fixed so that we could plug it back into the Continuum Relocation Device and send Arthur and his US revolution era wig back to classical Britain.
3: I ignored his latest inquiry by flopping on the sofa and turning on the TV. CNN had news of a fleet of WWII planes having a battle above New York and a T-Rex being spotted in the Rockies. Fox was showing an interview with the recently appeared Thomas Edison. BBC had the best story, about the Wooden Horse of Troy and a battalion of Greeks doing their thing in the Sahara. I watched that for a while, but got bored after they switched to a conference with Shakespeare. Arthur Harvey sat at the desk, manipulating a piece of cardboard like a toddler would. Four days later, I sat on the bench at the park, watching my little sister as she showed Arthur how to eat a lollipop, swing, play tag. At one point, he tripped over a tree root and got stuck under the belly of a plastic dragon. He was still there, shouting at random pedestrians for help in vain hope they would give some to him, when my sister came over to me.
4: “Come play!” she begged. “He's really fun once you get to know him!” She gave other arguments, like how it was good to get experience teaching people something, but I still refused. She ran off accusing me of being no fun. That night I was on my way to bed when I passed my sister's bedroom. She was supposed to be in bed, but she was in conversation with someone. Actually, Mr. Arthur Renaissance was telling her a story. “So Mr. Bunny went into the cave of the Great Tickle Monster. But Mr. Bunny was afraid. What if the Great Tickle Monster was unhappy and wouldn't play with Mr. Bunny? What if he was tickled to death?" “But Mr. Bunny said, ‘I will try to make friends with the Great Tickle Monster. I will try and try and try.’Mr. Bunny entered the cave and he saw the Great Tickle Monster, and it saw him. And the Tickle monster didn't try to make friends at all. He just went TICKLE TICKLE TICKLE!” (I could tell he actually tickled my sister as he said this) “And he tickled Mr. Bunny
5: so much that he ran away.” Arthur's story continued to say that Mr. Bunny tried lots of times to make friends with the Great Tickle Monster but he couldn't, until Mr. Bunny's friend the fairy came. Mr. Bunny made the tickle monster happy by helping the fairy fall asleep, and they became friends and lived happily ever after. By the time he finished the story, my sister was fast asleep. I was amazed. My parents usually have to hold her down in bed to get her to stay there. But falling asleep naturally? Impossible. Arthur walked out of the room, and I pretended I had just come up the hallway. “Oh, Hi there!” I said after I strategically bumped into him. “Hey, I was wondering if you would like to go outside tomorrow and maybe play ball.” I'm certain he had no idea what playing ball was but his face lit up like a Christmas tree. “Sure!” he exclaimed. “Right after breakfast.” We shook.
6: A week later, we fixed up our Tri-Universal Transportation Apparatus and Arthur was back at Parliament. I was also missing one of my best Ticonderoga pencils.
7: The teacher said to get out our history books, so of course most of us did not. I was one of a few who actually had goals in life besides break the world record for smelliest fart or most piercings so I did. I started to read our pages: The Industrial Revolution was a time where machines started being used to produce things that had previously been made other ways. It started when various textile industries began producing their products using machines, and it slowly spread- Suddenly, I had a bleeding headache. The world began to wobble and bend in a nauseating sort of way. I started to forget what I just read. I hung to the knowledge of that, for whatever reason, very hard. Soon the rolling stopped and everything was normal again. I continued to read:
8: The Industrial Revolution was a time where machines started being used to produce things that had previously been made other ways. It started when one Mr. Arthur Kentmore Harvey invented none other than a common Pinsel using the first automated manufacturing line. He quickly patented his Pinsel and his first two brands: the Harvey Pinsel, the Ticindroka pinsel, both of which are still used today, though Kentmore Pinsels are preferred nowadays for standardized tests. Unfortunately, he tragically forgot to patent his Mechanized Line That Creates Amazing Things and it wasn't patented until Henry Ford did it in the name of Assembly Line, nearly two centuries later. Mr. Harvey also created the first picture book, Mr. Bunny and the Great Tickle Monster, a year later. It is still a loved and precious book today.
9: No Way