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Melvin's Memories

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S: Melvin's Memories

BC: Special Thanks To: Yvette Zotigh (Mom) Glen Ahhaitty (Dad) Glen Ahhaitty Jr. Travis Zotigh Kayvion Zotigh Roderick Zotigh Darlene Hovakah Wolf (Tah-lee) Shareena Knight (Bestest Friend) Martin Brian Owen Denise Buckley Darren Warren Chelcee Bingham Chelcea Welch Most Importantly, God

FC: Senior Memory Book | Melvin Ahhaitty

1: Table of Contents Pg. 1 Chapter I Who Am I” Pg. 2 Chapter II “Before I was, There Were” Pg. 3 Chapter III “Suddenly, I Became Me” Pg. 4 Chapter IV “School Bells” Pg. 5 Chapter V “I Grew Up Here” Pg. 6 Chapter VI “I'm Really In Love This Time, Mom” Pg. 7 Chapter VII “The Most Effective Person In My Life” Pg. 8 Chapter VIII “My Best Friend” Pg. 9 Chapter IX “The Great Disaster” Pg. 10 Chapter X “Middle School” Pg. 11 Chapter XI “High School-The Early Years” Pg. 12 Chapter XII “At Last, I'm A Senior” Pg. 13 Epilogue “It's Just A Poem”

2: Chapter I "Who Am I?"

3: Who Am I? Well, I am a Storyteller. So let's just say, “Once upon a time, there lived a Native American who is writing an auto-biography for the first try. He only lives happily ever so often in one lifetime, and if he lived it accordingly to his belief, having good deeds in his name would allow him to live even happier ever after...... in the afterlife.” I am a socialist only on rare occasions. In other words, I'm not very talkative. It wasn't intentional of me to become a very quiet and stoic individual; I just don't have much to say, until now. In the time-being when our relationship improves we will become yet another founder of friendship. Then you would find me very commutative to you. I may seem emotionless but I have feelings. Just keep reading and you'll find out, but first allow me to introduce myself....... My name is Melvin Ahhaitty; I am 5/8 Kiowa with a pint of Comanche. I am 76 inches, thus standing tall is my verdict of differentiation amongst my fellow peers. My last name is translated as, “Story Teller”; my first name takes after my Grandfather. As I'm writing this, currently I am 19 years of age. I tend to look forward to living a few decades later and then look back in reminiscent while reading this book. I am ambitious and an opportunist with a philosophical outlook of virtue and traditionalism rendering some ideology in variable outcomes. For instance, I am a rapper of great intellect. A peculiar foreshadow, yes, but far as I could tell, looks are deceiving. | I yearn for fame and fortune, so perhaps you could say I'm somewhat selfish. My personal goal is to express music only to my liking. I found a conundrum in doing so for which I am insecure of my talent because I rather you would like it, instead. I realized your appreciation motivates me further into my goal. My music has a conflict in each verse and so I make my rhymes tie together with resolution and kept consistency with subliminal feelings. I write lyrics daily as to telling stories or to just let off some self-esteem and then turn a few pages later to write egotistical outlooks; sometimes this lyrical notebook is nothing more but an expression of self. I am an educated Kiowa. For the love of wisdom, I took it into terms of music. I am also a Thespian; I took acting into a secondary strong suit, this next step made me more open to people. For my future to be bright, I feel I must adapt in darkness in order to find enlightenment; to expand my horizons and strengthening my wisdom as to knowing the difference. In speaking of darkness, I mean I have embraced hard times that have changed me in so many ways. I am a story teller; I want you to know what I am going through. Thus, I yearn to be literate; I am a singer, and so I took the liberty into lyricism. When I am playing my guitar, these strings would speak for “itself.” With these talents I love being me, even throughout the good, bad, and the ugly I stand throughout the thick and thin. These past experiences molded me into what I am today, and as the process continues, what I am yet to be. As for you reading this right now, I may not know you, but I'll guarantee you'll know me better. Regarding that matter in hand, I suggest you keep reading because this story teller has another story to tell. | "A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him." David Brinkley

4: Chapter II "Before I Was, There Were" | " I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else. " C.S. Lewis

5: Zotigh/Wolf Yvette Zotigh is a strong and independent woman who raised five children. I am the youngest of that five, and she, as my mother, is a resemblance of happiness and sorrow at the same time. She had a hard life and horrific experiences rendering her stressful yet at peace at the same time as a born-again Christian. She is complicating, but so are all women. Then there is Dee Renee Wagner, Sophia Hernandaz-Cordova, Walter Zotigh, Darin Zotigh, Ben Wolf, Joe Lucero, then her parents: Spencer Reynolds Zotigh and my Tah-Gee (Grandma), Darlene Hovakah Wolf (A.K.A. Tah-Lee), then her brother, Grandpa Virgil Wolf. As for my fellow brothers and sisters: Angel Keani-Cordova, Deanie Lucero, Margaret Lucero, Leah Lucero Gouge, Heather Wagner, Marcus Wolf, Sharla Bosin, James Bosin, Elsie Bosin, Dennis Zotigh, Stevie Zotigh, Heather Zotigh, Victor and Brandon Zotigh, Zotigh is Kiowa for Driftwood. In this branch of the family tree, we are related to Chief Lonewolf. Brothers Roderick Zotigh, Kayvion Zotigh, Travis Zotigh, Glen Ahhaitty, and Me. (Then we have my imaginary friend; Martin Ahhaitty. He's my subliminal relative.) | Ahhaitty Glen Ahhaitty is my significant bystander, my kin of the Kiowa's; he is my father, my brother is named after him. You can say my passion for music comes from his genes, for which he is an Indian singer of the Oklahoma Outlaws. He recorded a couple of albums with songs of his own and then was nominated for the greatest Native American song-writer and singer. His parents are Melvin Ahhaitty and Glenda Ahhaitty. As for his brothers and sisters: Walter Ahhaitty, Daron Ahhaitty, Raul Gomez, Traci Wholf, and Kay Mopope. As for my other side of relatives: Genevieve Growingthunder (A.K.A. Gigi), Charles Neka Logan, Drew Ahhaitty, Cakes Bointy, Marita Growingthunder, Melody Redbird, Phyllis Whitecloud, Camoran Lynn Ahhaitty, Charity Ahhaitty, and his wife who is my step-mother Denise Buckley. Like I said before, Ahhaitty means Storyteller. Out of this Ancestral family background we have Chief Red Tipi. The Gone and Unforgotten Ben Zotigh, Shane Zotigh, Aunt Dee, Uncle Walter, Grandpa Spencer, Grandpa Melvin, and my dog Simba. My greatest, best, absolute, positively, beloved friend of all time, Shareena Knight.

6: Chapter III "Suddenly, I Became Me" | "Nobody can bring you peace but yourself." Ralph Waldo Emerson

7: It was 6 P.M, September 23, 1992 at Long Beach, California where I was born on my brother's birthday. It began at Long Beach hospital, interrupting Rod's party, of course. My mother arrived anxiously; at the time, Grandma Glenda, possibly Uncle Walter and Grandpa Melvin, and sure enough my father was also there. Unfortunately, I was too big to even be in my mother's womb, so it was very urgent for me to arrive in time. It wasn't easy, progress was dreadful. My head was stuck, and they had to use a vacuum to suck me out. If too late, I'll die. (A little known fact: I have a very tough head, it's true. When I was hit by a car, my head crack the windshield and still I was fine.) My father named me Melvin; he did so in honor of his father. Even as a baby I was quiet and supposedly easy to be taking care of because hardly crying is what makes my mother less stressful. It was Glen and I who was the infants of the five, and thus when mother was working, the older siblings would have to take care of us. When I was six months old, my mother divorced my father and wishes to start a new life in Oklahoma. So it was settled, I grew up in Lawton and every weekend I would visit Tah-lee at Hobart. It was at 528 NE Cimarron Circle, we had the biggest back yard in the neighborhood. This is still my most favorite time and place for me to be. Before we ended up in this house, we lived in various apartments around town. Some of them are of the vaguest memories that I could collect. We met Brian Owen whom my mother married eventually. He, as my step-father, is a military man; he served in the Army. At the time I called him Dad because it felt like he is. He would take care of us as often as mom did, and in doing so we were disciplined. Even though we resented his methods of raising us, still we bonded together like father and son. When Glen and I were at the age of 8 and 7 we were then reacquainted with our father. We met at the pow-wow somewhere in Oklahoma. He appeared to be a nice guy, always buying us toys and candy or what not. We liked him and then he met our mother, afterwards she explained to us who he really is. From that day on, every summer, we would come over to California to visit him, to get to know him better. At first, we would stay with Papa (Uncle T.J.) at his apartment. Sometimes he would drop us off at Grandma Glenda's house in Los Angeles. When we're around our father, we're usually somewhere around a pow-wow and we would listen to him sing around the drums, he would then take us to the center of the dancing grounds and we would join him in playing the drums while singing. My uncle, Walter Ahhaitty, would explain to me the importance of the drum. It is like a sanctum of our ancestors, we must not disrespect it; that means no kicking it, spit at it, and leaving it on the ground so carelessly, etc. Whenever I see other singers receiving money for their performance, they would then rub the bills all over the drum, which is supposedly blessing it. I was always quiet, whenever I speak I just mumble. I was alone too, until I met Martin. He gave me the courage to meet new friends as I got older. The more I keep aging, the more my own conscience matures.

8: Chapter IV "School Bells" | " Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough." Garrison Keillor

9: Unfortunately, I was born on a peculiar schedule for my upcoming age in elementary. Having been born September 23, the school starts in August and I was about to be 6 years of age but as I remain 5 they rejected me until next year. When I was 6, they accepted me, of course, but when September came along, I was then 7 and still in Kindergarten. | I, as an adolescent, had a very compulsive behavior. To me, everything was in order, the vest I wore including the belt. Every day was routine, going to school, and my mother going to work. Rod was in 5th grade, Kayvion 4th, Travis 3rd, and Glen was 1st and I Kindergarten; I only had to leave to school until 9 A.M. One day it didn't go according to plan. I had everything I needed but the belt. I complained to my mother when I lost it. She underestimated the sincerity she saw in me when I said I need it. When she left off to work, I then refused to go school. When I arrived, I threw a huge tantrum; I made teachers panic, until they had to call Rod out of his class to come over and calm me down, but even that did no good. They eventually sent me home and called my mother. She left work; livid she was, came home and whipped me with that leather of discipline (belt). Then, I retrieved my belt and continued on my day like nothing happened; everything was normal again. Next year, I went through T-1, afterward it was then 1st grade for me. During that era, I started acting for the first time; I did a play where we all dressed like bugs and sang about picnics. Then I went to Hobart Elementary just for that year alone. I was in Mrs. Hall's class at the time. Until 2nd grade, I moved to an apartment in Lawton and then somehow ended up back at Cimarron Circle. My step-dad was stationed at Korea when the years went by. When I went on to 3rd grade, I was then put in special education, and from then on I stayed there until 6th grade. Somewhere around 2nd through 3rd my step-father came home, but when I was in 4th, he had to go to Iraq to fight the war. In 5th grade, I was suddenly living with my father in Long Beach, California. That was the time I got to know him and Denise Buckley better. He would take us outside to do various activities. We were skinnier, yet every once in a while we were also spoiled. That was whenever we're celebrating the holidays. That was 2005, the year I cut my long hair for the first time. Do you have any idea how weird it felt? It felt like I lost a part of me that day. I was quite popular in Mark Twain Elementary. It was something about changing my personality and characteristics I was then an interesting fellow. I realized some of the things I did as a kid turned out to be idiotic. One of my most favorite experiences would have to be the school camp. It took place in the mountains throughout the deciduous forest where I stayed for a week. Unfortunately, I don't remember its location. I went hiking, rock climbing, etc. 2006 I moved back to Oklahoma, I lived in Fort Sill. That was the same year when I started dating. Also this was the year when I did a choreography play for the first time. I loved the experience, using the neon lights and white gloves and ropes while wearing black all over with the lights turned off. We put on a good show. My Stagg model blue-colored acoustic guitar was the greatest birthday present I ever received; that was the same year I participated in the talent show after learning a few chords and singing for the first time. From that day on, my goal was established, and I have yet to pursue it.

10: "I Grew Up Here" Chapter V | "I don't believe you have to be better than everybody else. I believe you have to be better than you ever thought you could be." Ken Venturi

11: I was born in Long Beach, California, but I grew up in Lawton, Oklahoma. In Lawton, I lived in many places all over town; from apartments to houses and even on Base of Fort Sill. My favorite place was, and always will be, 528 NE Cimarron Circle. This neighborhood had a circular block and behind my house was the biggest backyard in the area, 50 yards long! My dog, Simba, was a really fast golden retriever, so if I threw the ball very far across the yard, I would see him skipping like a deer. Every morning I would walk to school, and after school I would walk home with my brothers catching the next episode of Dragon Ball Z on television. Sometimes, I would piggy back ride Rod’s shoulders on the way there. I used to get picked on by other boys, until Travis took me over to their houses and told me to beat them up in their front yards. They never bothered me again... Video games were not my hype at the time, but certain games I remember playing were Mortal Kombat, both 1 and 2. | Glen and I would always play outside together using our imaginations and inspirations from games and televisions of which we call “bad influence.” We would pick up some sticks and whack each other, pretending they were swords or rifles, etc. Like nowadays, even back then we would argue. Only that time it was over “who gets to be the bad guy.” On this occasion, it was cowboys and Indians. We fought over a cowboy role until Mom overheard us and shouted, “You're both Indians!” and that's how we figured out our ethnicity. Brian Owen installed training wheels onto my bike; I gain the courage to ride it, but my parents warned me never to ride alone around the circular block. They took off attending to their errand, or so they told me. I was a little disobedient that day and took off on my own around the neighborhood. Little did I know, I was being followed, until I looked back and saw my parents’ car cruising behind me! I took off as fast as I could as if raising them on the way home, but they kept creeping behind me until we pulled up to our house; and I was “in” for it (I'm in trouble). | Eventually, Brian took the training wheels off. I was scared to ride then. He insisted I should, but I declined. I gain courage when some time passed, and he was there to teach me. It has been somewhat difficult having to keep balance, but when I master that, everything else was natural to me. I was that seven year old kid with the passion for riding. I could put my feet on the front bar of the bike and cruise on through the neighborhood. I loved it. It was like my whole new concept of escape to freedom. This was the place where I created Martin, my imaginary friend. He was so much like me in appearance, but our characteristics would contrast us from each other. Our differentiation did not matter, the thing we have in common was acceptance. His personality was more out in the open while I was close minded and non-social. I created him as a person I wish to become. When I left this place, he and I become one. This neighborhood was a place where I reflect from now, back when I was pure and innocent. I want to be that child again..

12: "I'm Really In Love This Time Mom" Chapter VI | "Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. " Lao Tzu

13: Shareena Knight, I can still remember when I first met her. It was 2007 in Anthony Middle School of 8th grade, in Manhattan, Kansas. A dance was being held at the cafeteria, right after football practice. I took off my pads in the locker room, took a shower, and went straight to the dance floor. The party lasted until midnight, and I was alone while everybody was leaving, one by one. It was at the concession stand where I first met her. I went over intentionally for something to drink, but I paid no attention to her at first, until she was very demanding. She was doing some math, trying to figure out how much money the lady working there owed her. She seemed somewhat agitated, yet joyous at the same time. She said, “Okay give me back that quarter!” then I said, standing behind her, “You need to lighten up”. She turned around and poked me in the chest each word at a time and replied, “Sir, you need to mind your own business.” That was that, but it wasn't all she wrote. It wasn't love at first sight, but it was curiosity. What did she see in me? Ever since then she wouldn't leave me be. It wasn't so bothersome when I discovered she was a Juggalette (Sub-cultural fan of Insane Clown Posse, males are the Juggalos), so I thought, “Finally, something we have in common.” When I got to know her more, I realized I was really into her! She liked hugging a lot. I didn't mind it much; I suppose I subliminally do too. We bonded even more when I knew where she lived and I would go over most of the week, even on school nights. Even though she clearly lived on the other side of town, I didn't mind as long as I could walk over to find her there. I felt so foolish trying to impress her with my music, but she thought I was talented. I think she was just being nice and complimenting. There was just something about our awkward moments and confusing feelings that made me feel so ALIVE. I enjoyed her as a friend, but I wanted more than that. I confessed my deepest sins and burdens to her, and she was still so forgiving. She was perfect to me, but I knew something so good wouldn't last long. We departed; still we kept in touch, reminding each other that we still loved each other. We never were together like most would've thought, but sometimes it felt like it. She was the only person that ever made me feel this way. When I try to date people, really I was trying to get her out of my head. She knew how to move on, as I, on the other hand, dwelt on the past becoming the biggest fan of cliché moments that I'll replay in my head again and again. I can live with that. After all for the last four years from now as I'm writing this, I am no longer regretful but happy that she is still okay, and she's with someone else now. I accepted it. Honestly, I wouldn't know what will happen to me when I found out something happened to her. Shareena is a unique person. In 8th grade she gave me a promise, to make me the happiest man in the world. We were so naive, but I saw something in her. I believe she was determined. I will let you know one thing, if it’s a greatest place I ever so desired to be, it’s where ever she is. I just want to relax some place where she is right next to me resting her head on my shoulder; there I will find peace....

14: "The Most Effective Person In My Life" Chapter VII

15: Indeed, I grew up with four brothers and me as the youngest of the five am beloved amongst them, but who is it that I am with constantly? Why is he my best friend yet simultaneously my worst enemy? Why do we both have to have the compulsive narcissism rendering us conflicted whenever we're around each other? Why do we have the same experience in life but turned out so differently? The answer is brotherhood. Blood is thicker than water. If he's Mufasa, I'm Scar; he's King Hamlet, I'm Claudius; if he's Batman, I'm Robin (Redhood); he's Glen and I'm Melvin. Though we are not so different, what does contrast us from each other is the simple fact that I am better than he is. In vice versa, he thinks otherwise. This is a sub-conscious competition where we unintentionally compare ourselves to an extent of our abilities. We are “Frienemies.” Our constant arguments are so preventable yet somewhat inevitable. We are two little philosophers soliciting moralism and the meaning of existence. On the contrary, I look up to him. I never have admitted it until now. | We hang with each other with enough tolerance of understanding and when communication was justly adjourned. The anger subsides, we are humorous, and this tendency is to give us a comedic outlook of life, which includes making fun of everything. We even bash on Christianity and Atheism, Creationism and evolution. We subliminally talk about what is meaningless and what contains morality. Eventually, the jokes that are non-taken are then taken seriously. Our sincerity then gives us wisdom and determinism. When we argue, we argue with utmost absurdity throughout uncertainty. We can go as far as to say our debates are foolish. Really, we compare Green Lantern ring to the Lord of the Rings ring, and then predict which is better. We then dictate the Matrix system of the movie compared to Sky-Net of Terminator movie and discuss which program would dominate. Don’t get us started with Anime because he’s all over it. We would argue how Digimon is better than Pokemon; Darth Cidias versus Vortemort. Pathetic isn’t it? Even with different types of fighting style like Muay Tai Boxing against Jiu Jitsu, we can go on. | We are hypocritical at times. We would contradict our beliefs, and we strive to point them out. In the end, we are brothers. They cannot take that away. We both know someday we have to stay separate for the first time in our lives. Can we really live with that? Do I look up to him? Yes, even though at times we contradict each other. He gave me a wider outlook of life by introducing me to philosophy. I never said, “I love you” he already knows that I do. He is the ying to my yang. We balance each other, especially when we let out our anger and frustration on one another. We are always going to love each other regardless of every wrong we ever committed. At times we have both learned to love our father once again because Glen sometimes reminds me so much of him | "Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact." William James

16: "My Best Friend" Chapter VIII | "By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest." Confucius

17: Martin is my best friend that I know of (despite Shareena for which the friendship is much deeper than this chapter alone) He is imaginary, he taught me how to be creative and because of him, I learned Cogito ergo sum- I think, therefore I am- which is a Greek translation said famous by Descartes. Knowing that doubt exists, we can generalize and assert that conscious acts exist, since doubts are a kind of conscious act (although we haven't proved that anything besides doubt must exist), saying “there existence that present themselves as conscious acts.” From here, if we are to reach Descartes’ conclusion, we must somehow show that the self exists, and not just the conscious acts. So does Martin exist? In my mind, yes but as physical form, maybe which goes to show this coherent theory is very astounding and accurately questioning. It is possible that what seems like a doubt to us is in actuality not a doubt, but only the appearance of one, and thus it is possible that we might consistently have something that seemed to us like a doubt about the statement “doubts exist”, since no real doubting is going on to defeat this kind of radical skepticism we must define doubt in terms of presentations, and thus restate our initial claim as “there exists things that present themselves as doubts.” The really interesting question, then, is if we can show that the existence of a conscious act guarantees the existence of a first person perspective, and if some constituted self must exist as a result of this, do I exist? I think so, you do too, don't you? | That’s enough about philosophy, now back to the subject: Martin. He is my childhood friend that I met at Cimarron Circle. I introduced him to the family, and so they welcomed him in as a part of them. We have so much in common; he even almost looked exactly like me! I know because I created him therefore his existence is only to my acknowledgment; does that render me lonely or just crazy? I am either one of the other; so take your pick. Like I said before (His personality is more out in the open while I’m close minded and non-social like. see chapter 5), I made him this way purposefully to set an example for the kind of person that I wish I am. He tells me to make some new friends. Be confident not arrogant and have a little wisdom to know the difference. Did I tell myself that? I most likely did according to your perspective. Whenever I smart-mouth Glen sometimes, I wonder if that’s Martin in me talking. Am I bipolar or just someone with multiple personalities? Let’s hope not. Let’s just say, this is the page where you just met the whole other side of me. In conclusion, I am my best friend; because of me I can tolerate the simple fact of never having any friends for a long time. I didn’t write this for sympathy; this is my encouragement to embrace loneliness whenever I just need to make it through the toughest part of days and having no condolence with anybody. Need I remind you that Martin is still here with me today as I’m speaking? So blame him when I’m being an antagonizing egotistical “smart-elic.” I will come to say that I am not. For which a fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows he himself as a fool. (William Shakespeare) You can say that Martin is God inside of me. He created me before I created him. Yes, I am crazy. I asked him into my life when I was a child. So.. My best friend is God!

18: "The Great Disaster" Chapter IX

19: What is disaster? Disaster is merely opinions considering what is bad. A calamitous event is especially one occurring suddenly and causing loss of life, damage, or hardship that is greatly just according to one whom is experiencing it. What is disastrous in my perspective contraries what is righteous in another. For instance, war, a keen example for many because it is terrible for the sinking of Pearl Harbor, indeed but for our response we then drop a nuclear bomb on Japanese civilians of Hiroshima. We conquer victoriously as Americans celebrated in glory. In this analogy, I then question: is using the atomic bomb really necessary, let alone right, to justly use in act of war? The innocent would beg to differ, the victims would never concur. The Government and house has their reasons to pinpoint such necessity, and success is often led in dark matters like these to seek enlightenment. My disaster is not beyond measure of absolute unanimous outlook of this historical event, but the fundamentals still conjures unfortunate mishaps like these. The great disaster is not a light subject for me to touch. I am merely dragging it out because of how difficult it is even to talk about it. I already waste half of the page avoiding it, but here it goes.. I violated someone before. No charges were pressed, but the guilt was overwhelming enough for punishment. Why did they forgive me? The better question is what came over me to even think I could get away with it? I hated myself. As a Christian, this was the Devil's convincing, but reality is this is my fault. God knows it; there I said it My deepest burden I kept since 2008. I confessed, but I won’t say any names. We will not get into details, as for anybody reading this; my only request is that you don’t talk about it around me. I do not want you to understand, but this is what I needed to do; to reveal what corrupted me for so long. I didn’t want forgiveness, what I did was wrong, and I wanted God to strike me down for that, but he is so merciful. That is why I am constantly discouraged whenever I am giving such achievements because deep down inside I felt like I don’t deserve it. I told Shareena, and she told me one thing that conflicts me most. I have to forgive myself. Nobody is perfect, the most powerful lesson in my life is still happening to me. Forgiveness, only the guilty deserve it. Everybody forgave me, everybody but me. I still don’t understand it, is life full of chances and opportunities giving us the freedom to choose? Every path must be consequential. God created us and loved us so much that he gave us a choice. Would I take it all back, to prevent what is wrong? No, because this is what made me into what I am today. I am Melvin, and I committed a sin. Adultery is our nature, is it not? You have to forgive yourself and then you’ll find peace.. Aw-ho Daw-Kee Tape-Tey-Gah (Thank you, God, for I finally said what I needed to say) (I thank my mother and Shareena for helping me through this agonizing guilt.) | "Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. " Mark Twain

20: "Middle School" Chapter X | "Don't wait around for other people to be happy for you. Any happiness you get you've got to make yourself. " Alice Walker

21: I moved to Colorado Springs, Colorado. I lived in Fort Carson, in a Cherokee Village neighborhood. Brian Owen was taking care of both Glen and me at the time my mother was staying at Kansas. The middle school was huge! Practically, most majorities of the buildings were made of glass. The scenery was beautiful with wide ranges of gigantic mountains sweeping across the West Coast view. Every morning I would get up to the rising sun and walk 1 1/2 miles to school, that was my favorite part of the day. Sometimes Brian would work late doing whatever Army dudes do on base, and when the door was still locked; I had to crawl through the bathroom window, which requires some climbing and fitting into narrow spaces. The weather was always vicious until the snowy seasons would come. When I would ride my bike to school, you would notice it was frozen! My tires were covered with a extra layer of ice; the pedals were too slippery to keep my feet on, and the brakes were frozen as well which caused jamming the pump action circulation thus I couldn’t squeeze any pressure to the brakes on the handle bars. So I had to walk to school in the cold blizzard. It was tough, but I loved it. I was only in 7th grade that year. | School was tough at first because I was a student fresh out of special education. Math was my weak point. I remember Brian and me staying up late most of the nights trying to figure out how to solve math problems on the worksheet. (Beginning of the year was F’s, in the end I finished with a C+, for that I thank him for the hard work we went through together.) I took Honors Choir and sang pretty decent, but my favorite event was the talent show. No one knew of the guitar skills that I possess, so you can say I shocked them all when I performed that day. (My guitar skills really improved over the years!) Choir was a good experience for me, not to mention how many friends (girls) I made there. We competed in some sort of choir event, and I assumed we did well. On the rating scale from 1 to 5, we got 4, the critics complimented us, but their only complaint was that there were only three boys, including me, singing among the group of girls and how hard it was for them to hear us. I met Chelcea Welch; she was a good friend. I never fell in love with her, but believe me when I say it; she was “Purdy.” She had a hard life with her terrible father and all, and I gave to her my care and condolence. When somebody picked on her, I picked him up and slammed him to the ground. She was a good and understanding friend, and for that matter alone, I hope the best for her. When I finished school, I spent the summer with Grammy (Brian’s mother). One day, I got a call saying that my mother just had a divorce with Brian, and he just went back to Korea. I ended up living in Kansas with my mother and a new and replaced father. I didn’t like it at first, not one bit. I went to school in Manhattan as an 8th grader of Anthony Middle. With this subliminal rage, I was waiting to snap, but that is until I met Shareena..

22: "High School-Early Days" Chapter XI | "Faith is not something to grasp, it is a state to grow into. " Mahatma Gandhi

23: My freshman year started out in Kansas of the east campus Manhattan High; a big building just for the 9th grade students. I took choir again and our teacher Mr. Poppy was, and always will be, an awesome teacher. He knows what he's doing, and he's well respected at it. I spent one month with him, and already I learned so much. He said so himself, that I've shown a lot of improvement. That year I joined football and positioned both offensive and defensive right hand tackle on the line. Our team was undefeated that season! Most importantly, I was a straight-A student until I left Kansas........ I remember the first thing I said when I gazed upon Hobart High. “That's It?” It wasn't much, obviously for one who moved from a 6A to a 3A district. I made do with it. I took Speech, and I didn't really know what I was in for. I competed in Forensic Tournaments and was placed in many, I made it to Regional twice, and I made it to the States once. I then went into wrestling as heavy-weight division weighing in on 230 pounds. Everybody called me “Chief.” In those tournaments, I, as a rookie, was paired with an 8 year veteran of wrestling, and the match ended in humiliation that lasted no longer than one minuet. I drove a lot that year, after taking driver's education every first hour. Coley Blocker and I would drive around town constantly in certain weeks because we were partners at driver's ed. I took to acting once again. The play I participated in was “In the Spirit.” The story was about ghost haunting the mansion who appears to be ancestors to my character and then a paranormal activist comes a long in attempt to get rid of them. The family of ghost and Arthur Miller acted in objective to scare her away, and then they ended up rich. I took the main role, as Arthur Miller, and I enjoyed it. It took place at the Short Grass Theaters. The next year as a sophomore I played, “Super Freaks,” a story about the psychiatric mental institution full of super natural beings, at least according to their insanity. Eventually, they are revealed as actual superheroes after all and they were using the asylum as a mere decoy. I took Athletics and Off-season. Weight lifting was routine on a daily basis, but every once in a while we ran all the way to the radio station and back before 7th hour ended. It was a hassle because if I didn't make it back on time I would miss the bus. Nobody knew about the thing I loved most; nobody knew about my rapping skills. Why didn't I reveal it? It’s because I didn't care at the time. They were for me to enjoy. In that moment, I actually appreciated my talent and didn't need a second opinion. Sometimes, I wish I am like that right now instead of caring for your entertainment. My junior year, I moved back to Kansas. Same home and everything, except my school takes place in the west campus. I was in Advance Weight Lifting and maxed out for every 9 weeks grade. I become a part of the Drama Departments and wrote and directed my own play, and promoted my music, and then most importantly, I performed it in the auditorium, my favorite place in the building. The Thespians of cast and crew were my second family. Sadly, Shareena wasn't around. She lived in Indiana at the time. When I missed the bus, I would walk to school and still made it on time. Kansas is one of my favorite places to be even today, a part of me wishes I could graduate there, but Hobart is my home as well. It's been a good run throughout my high school experience....

24: "At Last, I'm A Senior" | Chapter XI | " A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world." Oscar Wilde

25: This is it.......... Am I scared? Yes, at times I am, but certainly I'm determined to go through with it. I am more anxious than eager to embrace life on my own terms. I miss my friends. Mark from Kindergarten to T1, Darrin Warren from 6th grade, Chelcee Bingham, my first girlfriend in elementary, Orion (A.K.A. Oreo) from 7th grade, Chelcea Welch from 7th grade, and most importantly, Shareena Knight from 8th grade. I had been through California, Colorado, Kansas, and Oklahoma. In each region I found friendship thanks to Martin's influence. These people were running through my head ever since the first day of school this year. Now here I am, somewhat alone again, but it no longer bothers me. Just like the simple fact that love dies, but friendship is eternal. I think about the love ones that passed away six months apart from each other: Benjamin Wagner Zotigh, Dee Renee Wagner, and Walter Zotigh. Ben was shot, Aunt Dee died by Listerine, and Uncle Walter's death is still unsure of, and because of them I am depressed. When I attended to Aunt Dee's funeral I miss too many football practices and the first day of school. That got me kicked off the team. Before my senior year began, I met Shareena finally. She is a whole new person fresh out of Basic Training of the National Guard. What I wanted was to be more than friends, but I can see she has somebody else in mind. That is what was bothering me, and I was afraid to tell her that, so I made up excuses to cover up the pain. I know our deepest desires are usually not of our expectations, but I still hope for it. I love her, just enough to let her be with whomever she wants. I try not to be selfish; I care what she wants instead. Is that a sacrifice? No, but it’s inevitable regardless. I mean there's nothing I can do about it anyway, so do you have any idea how long it took for me to let it go? I don't think I ever did; I'm probably still hanging on to that little hope. I try not to let it get the best of me; I still have this year to go. It's not easy, having to take day and night school and two rehearsals for two different plays, and after missing too many days I cannot miss one more or that's it........ It would be all of that effort put to waste. I did a lot of walking; sometimes I wish I have a bike. I came so far, but I've still have long ways to go...... I am tired, so tired of being tired. I am so tired of the entire meaning of tired, but I’m so restless. In the future, I'll most likely chuckle as I read this. I am that Kiowa Graduate gaining recognition among the Tribe. If there is the time and place I want to relive, it could be 8th grade in Kansas. That or Colorado Springs with Brian Owen in 2007, but the most pleasant place I wouldn't even hesitate to take is back to Cimarron Circle where I could be that kid again. I’m done with this nonsense I dealt with for so long. I hate the drama we've experienced over the years, but if won’t for that, then we wouldn't be where we are today. If not for the troublesome times, then I wouldn't be me. Unfortunately, I do not have a job; I have no money, car, or not many friends. I never really did. What I do have is a guitar, pencils and papers, my PS3, and hope. That’s all I need. That’s all I have, despite my family and I hardly spending very much quality time together, but I’m pretty sure that’s going to change once high school is over. World, I am ready to embrace you now.. Melvin, if you're reading this now whether you're 20, 30, or even 50. Think about how far you've gotten and be sure to look back for a couple of glances but don’t stare too long, it’s bad for you. Just keep moving forward, you're making progress.

26: You! Yeah, you who are reading this right now, thank you. I am Melvin Ahhaitty, the Story Teller. I am writing this for you and for me. My family would be proud of me now. Mom, if you're reading this right now, I made it, so I’m going to live life to the fullest. I am going to stress; I will inevitably have my doubts and then give the benefit of it. I will be depressed, and I can smile to bury it beneath joy. These are the simple ingredients to happiness, to know what it means and not to take it for granted. I guarantee I will be happy when it’s all officially over. In the meantime, have some faith because God is keeping me blessed the moment he introduced me to Shareena, the moment he gave me the talent, the moment he forgave me, most importantly when he brought me into your world. Shareena if you're reading this, I love you, no matter what that will never change. Sincerely, I am glad you come far into this section. Now read this poem I wrote! | Solemn is a Laughing Matter Rain is appropriate, we could call it, The Tears of the Angels” weeping over us/ When pain is the opiate holding up expression of self; the sane and hopefully/ It's showing us chains that's holding up pain and breaking down to shackle me/ Taking out, actually, vacant now; a mind that's naturally fading out, in time/ That'll be aiding me, how? Just look at what it's made of me now/ A sanctum inside of me. I'm thinking its hiding me, n=but it's happily making society/ Anxious to see me, I think it's easy to make every rhyme already mine/ As weighing so heavy I'm merely forgetting lines =, they're just simple sayings in bars/ When I'm setting time to essential mayhem at large/ As it's imprisoned to my lyrical masterpiece as a miracle has released/ In a world of wonders so overwhelmingly wonderful but deep down/ It's turmoil under placed amongst the weight on my shoulders/ But looking deeper I found moral under, the day that I'm older. / Do you believe in miraculous moments or natural coincidence? / Could a poem take after condolence so passionate knowing/ It's just babbling sentences being baffled when showing an establishing sentiment? / It must be a flattering poem and scavenging into it to a matter unfolding/ A deeper establishment sending its subliminal meaning/ To limitless in dependable freedom, to 'live' is just heinously 'evil'”/ Just spell it backwards, but living poetic is painlessly lethal/ Uplifting angelic after instantaneously equal to such a compelling laughter/ giving so let it dwell up at your darkest conclusion/ Where we discover enlightenment; a sense of humor/ Is what a heart is choosing and pain is igniting it/ Rumored with confusing elements losing its relevance/ Dwelling development rendered with virtue/ So remember to search through a deeper layer that's scratching the surface/ You're bound to take it for granted and to grant what's taken is attaching a purpose/ I pray to God to foreshadow my path as my heart was yours for the taken/ But you took it for granted. That's life, love and laughter; everyman's simple/ Degrading ingredients placed in this planet/happily after once my place is abandoned and I'm impatiently heading to my reservation in heaven

27: Epilogue | "Clouds come floating into my life, no longer to carry rain or usher storm, but to add color to my sunset sky. " Rabindranath Tagore

28: "Action and reaction, ebb and flow, trial and error, change - this is the rhythm of living. Out of our over-confidence, fear; out of our fear, clearer vision, fresh hope. And out of hope, progress." Bruce Barton

29: The Gone and Unforgotten (R.I.P.) Kiowas don't say, "goodbye" It's, "see you later"

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  • By: Melvin A.
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  • Title: Melvin's Memories
  • Memories throughout Highschool
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  • Published: about 6 years ago