FC: Daily Deliveries A collection of the weirdest messages I've ever delivered for the gods.
1: About Me | I am Hermes, the best and most handsome god in all of Ancient Greece. My job is to deliver messages for the gods, and protect thieves, herders, and travelers. I also guide the dead to the Underworld. I am very athletic, quick and smart. I mean I am Zeus's most prized son. Anyway, when I'm not hitting the gym, I fly around in my amazing winged sandals catching up on Mount Olympus gossip. I have no earthly idea why the gods trust me at all, I am known for being tricky. I guess for the right price, I would keep their latest affairs under wraps.
2: With Love | Aphrodite's Love Letter | This letter was given to me by Eros, he said to give it to Aphrodite right away or the sender would have him killed. This got me way more interested, so I ripped open the letter and read the message. I was so shocked, I flew right to Aphrodite's mansion. "Did you read my mail again Hermes?" she asked. "It's a love letter." I responded. "I know Hermes, I am the goddess of love and beauty, I get about fifty of these a day." Wrenching it from my hands, she fingered the rose in her hair and read the letter. "Charon? The guy who guides the dead to Hades? You have got to be kidding me!" "He is so.. depressing. Also, have you seen him?" " Hermes my beauty really is a curse!" I rolled my eyes, all I could think of was how full of herself she was. All this time, she was posing in the mirror, whining about her beauty.
3: Apollo's New Hours | This letter was beautiful, sealed with a lightning bolt insignia, which meant it was from Zeus. I had to please daddy, so I dashed straight to Apollo's castle, only stopping to save a thief from getting caught. When I reached the entrance, Apollo was already there, throwing a discus. "What's this! Zeus demands for me to make the sun rise at one in the morning? What happened to five? This is ridiculous!" The sun's rays grew hotter, the music stopped and Apollo's white horses neighed from the stables.Apollo dropped his lyre in anger. "Calm down Apollo, you know what happens if you argue with Zeus." Apollo was instantly calm but any god could see, he was not ready to get up early.
4: Dionysus's Wine Tasting Party | This letter was actually for me. Dionysus himself came to my front door to deliver it. "Hermes, you have to come. There will be lions and hippos and kingfishers all preforming a play! Wine will be at every table and only the best music will be played. I even invited some sea nymphs, so you know it's going to get crazy." | That sounds amazing Dionysus, I'll be there." I know you will, I know how to throw a party Hermes." Dionysus smirked. With that, he transformed into a goat and ran off. It was the quickest, rudest invitation ever, but I still went, and it was amazing.
5: Demeter's Product Request | Demeter was always sweet, providing food for the pathetic humans and changing the seasons. This letter really surprised me. "Demeter what is this?" We both stood in a field of wheat. Demeter was hacking away at the golden stems. "Hermes stop reading my mail!" she scolded. "Relax Demeter." She snatched the letter and read it. "Have you been genetically modified food so it will last through the winter? You are killing people!" "Point is, I'm making money, so what does it matter." The letter was an order placed by a human, requesting fifty pounds of "everlasting wheat." "When Zeus finds out you are in trouble." I warn. "He won't right Hermes?" She swung the scythe angrily. "Fine I'll keep this a secret if you cut me into the profit." I whispered. "As you wish Hermes." she groaned.
6: Poseidon's Sabotage Charge. (Award) | "You sabotaged the Greek Fishermen?" I sat on the Mount Olympus Beach across from Poseidon. I had just finished reading and delivering Poseidon's mail. "Of course I did Hermes." Poseidon stabbed his trident into the sand defiantly. "I am so tired of those dang fishermen dumping their trash into my ocean. Poseidon roared. "Any mortal knows not to mess with Poseidon or his ocean." In the distance, dolphins voiced their agreement. "What did you do?" I leaned in, eager to learn the method of revenge. "I destroyed every one of their fishing boats and freed the day's catch. The humans shall respect my punishment." He crinkled his nose in disgust. "Well, at least Zeus is going to award you for your revenge. That is a hard core punishment." Poseidon admired his letter. It had invited him to an awards ceremony in his honor. "Yes Hermes I am quite proud." Poseidon flashed a huge smile, before diving back into the ocean.
7: Artemis's Stag Food | I was flying over the forest one day, when I remembered I had mail for Artemis. I reached into my messenger bag, and pulled out a blue letter. Carefully, I opened the envelope and settled right outside Artemis's tree house. It was a confirmation letter, apparently, Artemis had ordered three-thousand pounds of stag food. What the heck? Who buys three-thousand pounds of food at once? I wondered. A door slams shut and I jump. Artemis stands over me. "Hermes, I swear if you read my mail one more time I will kill you." A beautiful stag towered behind her, and a bow was slung across her shoulder. "Who orders three-thousand pounds of food?" I sneered. Artemis did not waver. "My babies need to be taken care of, besides I pay less for the transportation of food with bulk orders. By the way, I didn't come here to be judged by you, so excuse me while I go hunting by the light of the moon. "Brat." I muttered under my breath as she stalked of into the woods.
8: Athena's Shield Repair Bill | I always knew better than to mess with Athena's mail since she could always out smart me.I always handed her mail sealed and intact, until today. She was not in our usual meeting place, so I opened the envelope and read the message written on the paper. I was soon laughing. The message was titled Shield Repair Bill. Athena had broken her prized shield Aegis. I couldn't stop laughing, how did someone break a shield of such esteem? Then, the laugh died in my throat when an adorable owl landed in front of my winged sandals. It was Athena's owl and I knew I was in trouble. I scrambled up, but Athena was already in my path. "Hermes I will give you five seconds to run before I attack you." She held Aegis and a spear. "Leave now!" she commanded. I was scared, I gave a sheepish smile, placed her letter on the ground and flew far away from her before she snapped.
9: Zeus's Speech | "Dad tell me what it says!" I whine. I had delivered his mail and he had just finished reading it. Zeus sat in his throne adorned in gold. An eagle stood, perched on Zeus's broad shoulder. "Great news son, the humans have invited me to speak at a festival. They want me to promote the importance of honoring and loving the gods." Its about time, this generation is losing respect for us!" I say. Zeus stands and dark, billowing clouds surround the throne room. "I am the king of the gods and I will not be disrespected by an entire generation." Lighting crackled behind him. Zeus was truly powerful. "Get the oxen ready Hermes, I am going to speak to those ungrateful weasels now!"
10: Home Sweet Home | After long days of delivering I spend the entire night guiding dead people to the Underworld. I really hate Hades, every god does, but dead people love him. It's amazing how many people Zeus kills every day. As we fly, the souls tell me their life story, and it's really entertaining. The Underworld is not all that bad, except for the fire and death and lost souls that I forgot to guide.
11: Sources | http://camphalfblood.wikia.com/wiki/Symbols_of_Power Aegis Shield http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Crescent_moon.JPG Crescent Moon http://mattsoutpost.com/MTRanch/deer-species-at-mt-ranch/red-stag/ Stag http://majorolympians.com/athena.html Athena http://4vector.com/free-vector/free-vector-vector-clip-art-lira-lyre-clip-art-110493 Lyre http://www.clker.com/clipart-bow-and-arrow-4.html Bow and Arrow http://agartblog.blogspot.com/2012/05/cute-owl.html Owl http://www.fotosearch.com/illustration/olive-branch.html Olive Branch http://rfclipart.com/free/theater-masks-comedy-and-tragedy-1675-vector-clipart.html Theater Masks http://www.ishalerner.com/blog_1/?attachment_id=579 Caduceus