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Apologetic - Page Text Content

BC: God is all you need

FC: There is a God shaped hole inside everybody's heart | This is a story of a girl who went through the path of longing for love. The love that can only fulfill by Jesus Christ | Dear..... I don't know what have become of me. I am a monster, all I see in the mirror is a reflection of a devil. I want to be with my family, no one accept me here, I don't belong here. I wonder if there is someone who is out there that listens to my cry for help... | Suicidal? I don't want to die!! Is there anyone out there?

2: Thu was a girl who did not know anything about sadness and loneliness because all around her was filled with laughters, love, and warmth from her family. You can say that she was the happiest person on the entire planet. | I love my family so much. | Never once would you see her not smiling or laughing.

3: "be like the flower, turn your face to the sun." - Kahlil Gibran | It's a beautiful day, don't let it get away. | Suddenly one day, her parents thought that it would be good for Thu to go abroad and further her knowledge for life. They believed that it would be a good opportunity for Thu to shine and excel in her study. | Sadly Thu did not interpret it the same way as her parents did. She misunderstood it that her family hated her and wanted to get rid of her.

4: August 18th of 2006, the airplane was filled with Thu's tears. She managed to hole in her tears in front of her family, showing them how strong she was. | She wanted to run off the airplane but she know that it would be a disgrace to her parents and her family. Everybody was counting on her, how could she do that thinking only for herself?

5: I manage so hard for my tears not to run but it keeps falling down on my face like it never did before. My heart ache like someone stab a knife through it. I want to run off the airplane but I know that my parents spent too much money and I would be a disgrace to my parents. I want to show my parents that their daughter is a strong person.

6: It 's two month since I left home, I am surrounded by a million people but I still feel all alone. I don't belong here, no one want to talk to me, they think I am weird because I can hardly communicate with them. I have been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you. Whenever I see airplane in the sky, I wonder when I will be able to be in it and fly home to be with you. I am too far away from where you are. I wanna come home, this is not my dream but you always believe in me. How could I let you down? vWhat should I do? I just want to go home.

7: As the year was wrapping up, Thu's family wanted her to come to Minnesota so that she could stay closer to her uncle's family. Summer came and Thu was in Minnesota, she was very sad because she did not get to go home to see her family. | It was tough for Thu to find a private school down there in Saint Cloud where her uncle stays so she started to look for school in other cities. | Thu studied very hard so that her parents could be proud of her so she devoted all of her time into studying. She did not hang out with lots of people and they started to call her nerd and exclude her from their circle. | Montverde Academy was located down in Florida and it was her first school in the United States. She lived in a dormitory with lots of friends but she felt like she was alone because no one would care to talk to her.

8: Dear someone.... I am a loner, I don't want to go on... | I want to go home.. I don't belong here. | Dear..... I don't know who I am writing this to. I've been very quiet lately. I miss my family a lot. Their image is fading away in my mind. Maybe they don't want me anymore, maybe they want to get rid of me. I want to go home. Where is home? The definition of home is slowly disappearing inside my head, all I know is pain and loneliness. Sometime I wonder if there is someone out there that can answer all my questions and be by my side so that I don't feel like suiciding/. I have heard of the Christian God but I think it is all fake. How can an imagination God answer me and be by my side? That's just ridiculous. Anyway, I feel like there is a whole inside my heart that I can't comprehend.

9: My uncle found a private Christian school in Saint Paul. I think it's New Life Academy if I am not mistaken. | Great, it's a Christian school, I hope that I can start over again and make a lot of friends and not repeat my failure last year of being a nerd.

10: I am very surprised because people in the school are very nice to me. I got to know lots of people and made lots of new friends but there is still an ache in my heart, somewhere deep down in my soul, I know that I was not complete. | It was not the homesick, it was not the loneliness, it was also not the depression. What could it be? Why do I keep feeling this way, the feeling of a whole inside my heart. | Could it be that I have gone to the extreme of depression that I am going crazy?

11: It was the very first time that Thu got to sit and study in a Bible class. She did not really understand what was going on but she understood that the teacher was talking about God. | Dear,...... Today I got to learn about God in my Bible class. God is still a very strange concept for me to adapt to. I don't know if He is real or not but I am very confused. I wish there is someone that I can talk to about the whole God thing. I am scared to ask my teacher because he might think that I am weird. There is a spark inside my soul that seems to be lightened whenever the word God is mentioned. Well, I gotta go to bed, it's late. I'll write tomorrow.

12: Mrs. Lars | Ms. Harington | You all did an amazing job this year! You will allways hold a special place in our hearts! Enjoy your summer and good luck next year! Warmest Wishes, Ms. Harington & Mrs. Lars | Dear Lord, this is my first time praying. I don't know if you are out there or not but can You give me a sign to show me that You are real. My aunt is very sick and the doctor said she might not make it, please help her to overcome this Lord. I promise you I will do anything you ask me to do. Please heal my aunt Lord.

13: Her aunt had passed away and yet no one answered her... She figured that there really is no one out there. There isn't a God, God is made believe. He did not care or even listen to her prayer. She felt that she has been abandoned.... She started to let go of her study, her life, her family, and what she used to believe in. Everything doesn't matter to her anymore, she thinks that there is nothing she can hold on to. Life is nothing but pain.

14: Birthday Girl! | Let go of life | Life is nothing but pain | PAIN | Life is good without responsibility

15: Thu started to spend money like crazy. She would buy anything that she could place her hands on. She started betting money, smoking cigarettes and drinking. She eventually failed all of her classes.

16: Hanging out with friends who smoke and drink helped her become a more popular person in school and everywhere she went. She felt satisfy but underneath her soul, there was an ache that she could not tell.

17: she forgot all about her family, they were always there beside her but she was not bright enough to see it. wait, wait,wait.... I was wrong there, let me correct that. She did not forget about her family, not even once since she left her family. Memories of her family were fading away inside her heart. She did not want it to fade away because it was the last thing she wanted to run away from her. | She continued that life style with the idea of ruining her life because she knew that no one care for her anyways. She sat alone in her closet every night crying out for help but she knew that who would want to listen to a hatred person like her.

18: Dear mom and dad, I know that I am no longer worthy to be your daughter. I can't go on anymore. The best thing I can do for you is to be gone, gone from your life so that you don't have to worry for me anymore. Thank you for all the things you have done for me. Forgive me. | Thu was very confused. Unfortunately, she decided to take her own life.

19: Thu's host mom found her in the bath room laying unconsciously so she rushed her to the hospital with the hope that it was not too late.

20: On the edge of dying, all Thu could see is white, white is everywhere. It was so bright that she had to use her hands to block the bright lights from hitting her eyes. She suddenly heard a voice, a very familiar voice indeed. She realized that it was her dad's voice but she couldn't hear what he was saying. "Dad, where are you? I am scared dad, why is it so bright here? Am I dead already? I miss you and mom, I wish I could see you before I die" said Thu with tears falling down from her face. "Be still my child. I am the Lord your God and Father. I am not done with you yet. Go back and sin no more" Thu suddenly opened her eyes and she was surrounded by friends and the people that love her dearly but it took a a quiet long period of time to realize that until now.

21: Dear Lord, Thank you for giving me another chance, thank You for believing in and not giving up on me. I am such a filthy sinner who doesn't deserve Your love. You don't care how sinful I am and still You love me no matter what I have done, even when I rejected You. I now understand that I was never alone, You have always been by my side but I was too blind by what the world has to say, I don't seek Your words and wisdom Lord. Please forgive me. I devote all of my life to You. Please give me the courage to give my testimony to others so that they can experience Your love just like I did. I am no longer enslave to sin but I am free in Jesus Christ.

22: Thu began to open up to her friends and became a more outgoing person. She was not ashamed of the act of taking her own life because of that she got to know that God is very real and He is loving. | Thu picked up on her studying and began to work hard again. She knew that she was not a failure because of what God told her. He is not done with her yet, He has a greater purpose for her in the future.

23: Not long after Thu got out of the hospital, she volunteered to spoke and give her testimony to her church and other local churches. She believed that it is God's plan that she is in the United States in the first place. Her purpose is to give testimony to other girls who are struggling in the same way that she had to go through. It takes courage and boldness for Thu to stand in front of thousand of people but God is always next to her. The fear of standing in front of people disappeared when she remembered what God has done for her.

24: I have gone through destructions, trials, doubts, and many more sinful things in life. My life turned around the day when I left my family to go study abroad. I felt to the bottom of depression, I could not think of anything beside my family. I felt like the memories of my family were fading away in my head. I could rarely remember my parents' faces. I was surrounded by million of people but I was lonely or you can also say that I was invisible. New Life Academy was my second school in the U.S. I came to school with the hope that I could make more friends and be more outgoing. I did not expect a lot from New Life but it is where I first had my Bible classes. I still remember the day when I first pray to God, I asked Him to heal my aunt from her cancer and He did not answer to my prayer. From that day on, I blamed God for everything and I began to go astray. I did things that I have never done before like drinking, smoking, and cussing.

25: I continued that lifestyle for a long period of time with the thought of ruining my life because I knew that no one would care. And maybe, just maybe, the reason why I did what I did was because I wanted someone to notice me. During that period of time, I remember that I always have to cry myself to bed because there was a feeling of a missing piece inside my heart, there was a hole inside my heart. It could not be filled with anything. One day, I came home from school. I just told myself that I am done with life and with everything. I took out a paper and started to write a letter to my parents. I wrote that I am no longer worthy to be their daughter. The best way for both sides is me being gone, gone in their life forever so that they don't have to worry for me anymore. I was very confused but I decided to take my own life. Miraculously, I did not die from my suicidal because God spoke to me. He told me that He is not finished with me yet, He has purpose for me. I have purpose for life. After that incident, I devoted my life to the Lord because I know that He is real, He is loving and caring.

26: I am not worthy to be saved by God, He gave me the second chance to start my life over. I believe that the purpose God has for my life is to go and give my testimony to people. There are many people out there who are going through the same thing that I did before and I want them to experience the love that God gave me. I want people to know that God is a loving God, He cares for every child of His. We are not sinners anymore because Christ died for our sins. We can proudly proclaim that we are free in Christ. I want people to know that God gave me a second chance and He will always be waiting to give you the second chance, the third chance or maybe the fourth chance if you are willing to ask Him for it. Our God is a loving and caring God.

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  • By: ThuNguyen
  • Joined: almost 10 years ago
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  • Title: Apologetic
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  • Published: over 9 years ago