S: Michael Jackson Dark Memories
FC: Dark Memories | Michael Jackson
1: Sunnum Riaz Title: Dark Memories Topic: How Michael Jackson's childhood effected his life? Purpose: To understand how Michael's childhood affected his life. Audiences: People who are interested in learning about Michael Jackson's past.
2: Synthesis a.Students will be able to compose for particular audiences and purposes. I composed my project for people who are interested in learning about Michael Jacksons past. I also wanted to know way more about this topic. The packaging is a scrapbook, and in it there will be many personal interviews where Michael openly discusses his past. I think with the interviews the audience will get a real sense of what Michael went through as a child. This is the best way out of all my genres to get Michaels feelings out there and to know how lonely he felt. b.Students will be able to compose using language and conventions appropriate to genre. For this I will focus on my diary entries. In the diary entries, I had to write like a young kid. I stayed away from my vocabulary and made it more juvenile. Since I’m writing as Michael when he was around 8 or 9, the vocab needs to be at that level. These entries are all personal and emotional since its coming straight from Michael. I want people to empathize with him so the diary entries are the best way to pull them in and understand Michaels past. c.Students will be able to read, select, and use evidence critically to formulate and support arguments. I read many articles about Michael Jacksons past, in those articles you really get a sense of what he went through as a child. You really begin to understand how it affected Michael's life. Most of my arguments will come from those articles. I even looked at Psychologists articles which discuss how someone's childhood could affect their life forever.
3: d.Students will be able to interpret and compose in a variety of media and print/non-print genres. This was very easy I love expressing thoughts and ideas through the media, I feel its easier for people to visually see what I'm trying to get across. The hard part about this was since my packaging was a scrapbook the most I could've done was use pictures. So to use media I did a lot of research through videos and music. From the videos you can get a lot of information not only verbally but non-verbally you can see the facial expressions and body language. His music was his own to that really speaks to you as well because you can take the lyrics and analyze his message he was trying to send. e.Students will be able to discuss and apply appropriate writing processes both individually and in collaborative contexts. The thing I struggled the most with was the diary entries I wanted to make it as real as possible. So after many discussions with several different people I think it sounds pretty good. I didn't want to make it over dramatic or dull I wanted it to be just right. I also struggled with not being able to make my project media filled which I absolutely love, but its good to challenge yourself and get out of your comfort zone to see how well I can do with a not-so-media –filled project.
4: is a little world created by love.
6: Speech | Today I am going to talk about one of the best performers world wide, often referred to as The king of pop. Michael Jackson, has sold millions of albums, popularized the moonwalk and touched many hearts everywhere. Unfortunately, today we are not here to talk about the imprint he left on the world, were going to talk about his tragic childhood. Michael was very unique, people were suspicious to why he was so unusual? They forgot to acknowledge Michael suffered a very sad childhood. His childhood wounded him and made him behave in strange ways.He was abused verbally, emotionally and physically by Joe his father. Michael started singing at the age of 5. When Michael and his brothers became Jackson 5, thats when the abuse increased. Joe would sit there and watch them rehearse and if someone messed up he would tear them apart as Michael said in an interview. He would beat them with a belt,iron chords and anything in his sight when he was angry(11). He would chase them and slam them into a wall as hard as he could. Joe never seemed to realize the difference between a man and a little boy, the beatings he gave were as hard as if he was fighting someone his own size. Joe would emotionally abuse Michael by saying he was
7: ugly and had a fat nose. Michael had many pimples growing up and Joe would rudely point them out. He would always say Michael had so many pimples and a fat nose and it wasn't from his side of them family(12). This made Michael extremely insecure about his appearance. He would always be seen around his house with his head down so no one saw his face. Joe pushed them to be famous because when he was younger he wanted to be famous. Since it didn't work out for him, he was living his dream through his kids. Due to Joe pushing them to be famous Michael missed out on a happy, playful childhood. When other kids were playing outside or going to school Michael was in the recording studio, busy in an interview or traveling. You would think it would be fun to be traveling jumping in and out of limousines at a young age but for Michael it traumatized him because it took away from his childhood. Michael says the Neverland ranch was built in order for him to always be a kid since he never really had a childhood(10). He always had kids around him so he can make them feel happy and so he himself can be a kid again.
8: Those kids still sadly didn't help Michael feel better, he was still lonely and sad. He began abusing drugs because the fans, the people, the world were making fun of Michael every chance they got. It really hurt him when the world went against him because the world was all he felt love from. In an interview Michael said when he was on stage he loved it and felt loved. When he was off stage he was sad, lonely and felt nobody loved him as much as the fans. Michael continued being misunderstood, continued being mad fun of and continued being depressed. His depression got so bad he continued taking drugs and his doctor was actually prescribing the drugs to him(11), to help him cope with the pain. He was wounded and was never fully healed and unfortunately died with a broken heart. Many say that the overdosing of drugs killed him, if thats it then we the people killed him with the way we treated the sweetest man to have lived. | "In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years." - Abraham Lincoln
10: Have you seen my Childhood? I'm searching for that wonder in my youth Like fantastical stories to share The dreams I would dare, watch me fly... Before you judge me, try hard to love me. The painful youth I've had Have you seen my Childhood... (9) | Poem
11: "A heart is not judged by how much you love but by how much you are loved by others" -Frank Morgan
12: "I like the dreams of the future better than the history of the past." -Thomas Jefferson
13: Interview | Interviewer: How was it growing up famous? Michael: "It was hard I wanted to play sometimes but I had to go to the studio. It was lonely too you know I didn't have many friends growing up" Interviewer: Is it true Joe would abuse you as a child? Michael: "Yes this is true". Interviewer: Can you tell us more about that? Michael: “He would sit there with a belt in his hand and if you miss a step expect to be hit....He would tear you up if you missed a step". Interviewer: So he would do sit there with a belt and watch you rehearse? Michael: "Yes..We were nervous rehearsing because he sat in a chair and he had this belt in his hand and if you didn't do it the right way he would tear you up, he would really get you...But I got it a lot of times” (8)(Goal A) Interviewer: Would he just hit you with a belt? Michael: “Why do you do this to me....no more than a belt...iron chords whatever was around, he would throw you up against the wall as hard as he could” (Goal A)
14: Interview | Interviewer: Missing a step would make him that angry? Michael: “I know its hard to understand why...He would just lose his temper I just would remember my mother scream...Joe your gonna kill em, your gonna kill em, Stop it your gonna kill em” (Goal A) Interviewer: How bad did it get? Michael: “I would be so fast he couldn't catch me most of the time but when he did catch me it was bad, he was real bad” (Goal A) Interviewer: We know that Joe was an aspiring musician do you think that had anything to do with him being hard on you guys? Michael: "Yes.. I do think that he's living his dream through us, he wanted to be famous it was his dream and it never happened for him so I think that's why he pushes us so hard, he doesn't want to lose his dream."
16: Diary Entries | Dear Diary, Today is my birthday, I'm 10 now. I don't like growing up I want to be young, I want to play all the time but Joe doesn't let me he yells at me and tells me I have to practice so I can make good music. I'm in the studio waiting to sing but I wish I was outside playing with kids my age. I don't have any friends but my brothers they're my only friends. Its boring sometimes because were always together(7). I just want to have other friends to have fun with and be free.(Goal B) I want to watch cartoons but Joe doesn't let me he says if I don't practice he'll beat me....I have to go now Joe is calling me.
17: Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breaths away. | It's the little moments that make life big. | Dear Diary, I'm on my tour bus. Joe keeps telling us what to do when we get to the meeting for our new album. If we don't he says he's going to tear us apart. It really hurts when he hits me, I always cry for a long time. The marks go away after a while to but I don't tell anybody I don't want Joe to get in trouble. Sometimes I wonder why he hits us? Does he hate us? Are we bad kids? When I'm not on stage nobody likes me. When I'm on stage everybody loves me, thats why I love being on stage....I think thats why Joe hits me he doesn't love me. I have to go Joe's coming and he's angry............(Goal E)
18: Therapy Session | Therapist: Is it true you feel lonely? Michael: "Yes this is very true.....I feel lonely, sad having to face with popularity and all of that, there were great times I had with my brothers pillow fights and things but I would always cry from loneliness.” Therapist: Do you think not having friends had to do with you being lonely? Michael: "Yeah..you know I was so busy I never got to just be a kid my schedule was like this I would do my schooling with my tutor which was 3 hours and then right after that I would go to the recording studio, record and I would record for hours and hours until I would go to sleep.” Therapist: You never went to the park or just enjoyed being a little kid? Michael: "No never it was always work, work and work. Joe was really strict and made sure we got everything down. “I remember going to the recording studio, there was a park across the street and I'd see all the children playing, they'd be rooting and making noise and I would cry, it made me sad that I would have to go and work instead”.
19: Therapist: You lived with your parents for a long time correct ? Why is that? Michael: "I thought I'd die on my own. I'd be so lonely. Even at home, I'm lonely. I sit in my room and sometimes cry. It is so hard to make friends, and there are some things you can't talk to your parents or family about. I sometimes walk around the neighborhood at night, just hoping to find someone to talk to. But I just end up coming home."(7) Therapist: Why exactly do you feel lonely? Michael: "You know my life was so hard to go through and I've been doing it on my own...I've been through missing out on my childhood which was big for me I always longed for being a kid and having fun but it never happened. I've been accused of many rude accusations that made my life harder to cope with. It's sad that evil people would do that to me. I was abused emotionally and physically by my dad, and the world. They made such a mockery out of me.....I don't think they realized how much that broke my heart from what was left of it. I loved my fans and the world so I felt betrayed when the world turned on me...thats when I truly had no one....
20: Therapist: Since you lost your childhood, do you feel being around kids all the time is way to gain your childhood back? Michael: "Yes, I'm glad you mentioned that I love to be around kids because I feel like a kid again. I feel like they won't judge me and they will allow me to have a water balloon fight or play tag...its mellow with the kids I love it. I love to make them smile and feel happy....when their happy I'm happy..My new home The Neverland Ranch is designed for children I have playgrounds,rides and so many fun things to do there. Neverland implies this is what I never had. I want people to come here and have the time of their lives...you know leave their worries at the door. That's why I always have children over so they can enjoy themselves." Therapist: Thats very nice of you to do that for the kids. Now would you like to talk about the molestation charges? Michael: No not today...maybe next time I think we discussed a lot. Therapist: Very well then it was a great session! See you next time Michael...and remember their are people who love you out there. Michael: Thank You Dr. Eaton! | "Fame always brings loneliness. Success is as ice cold and lonely as the north pole." -Vicki Baum
21: Therapy Session CASE REPORT Name: Michael Jackson Age: 25 Patient History: He was abused as a child, and felt lonely at such a young age. Meaning he was depressed for many years. The patient is displaying clear signs of depression. He is displaying severe sense of hopelessness and despair. He suffers from guilt and feeling worthless. The patient sleeping patterns have been affected by this he has now developed insomnia. He lost a significant amount of weight, more than 5% of his body weight in fewer than 2 months. Patient has reoccurring thoughts of suicide and death. Patient has no interest in communicating with people his own age, rather he's interested in communicating with children 12 years and younger. Depression does not run in the family. Prior to being seen in this clinic he has not been prescribed any medication for his condition. No exam tests have been tested on the patient. The patient has passed 2 depression assessments. Discussion: Since the patient is dealing with clear signs of depression we will begin treatment. The patient has not been prescribed any medication. The patient at first didn't believe he was depressed; the clinic only works with voluntary patients. In order to move on with treatments and such we need the patient to accept that he/she is in fact depressed. After the patient acknowledged that he is depressed, we tried having him do activities he enjoyed. That failed. We asked his family members to always be supportive and appreciative of him. Usually being around happy people makes you happy. That failed. We asked his family members to take him to his favorite places, which failed. The symptoms worsened after that. We asked the family to monitor his eating and make sure hes eating to prevent more weight loss. The next treatment we tried on the patient was changes in nutrition, sleep, social support and stress reduction. When a patient changes their lifestyle, our hope is there outlook on life changes such as how they perceive the world. My prediction is that the patient has suffered with depression for many years without any help, that he has become accustomed with it. Its too familiar he doesn't know how to change. The activities did not work so the next step is to get the patient on medication. The medication will hopefully help the symptoms lessen or even disappear for periods of time throughout the day. We will have the patient continue with the lifestyle changes and the medication, hopefully both treatments together can effectively help the patient. Conclusion: Michael will be put on medication for depression and insomnia to help effectively treat his depression. It will be over a 6 month period of time. My predictions are the lifestyle changes and the medication will definitely be a start to helping Michael.
22: Patient Analysis Michael Jackson grew up in Gary, Indiana in a very strict household. He is the 7th child out of 9 children to parents Joe and Katherine Jackson. Michael's life is unusual to the average person. Michael was abused verbally and physically at as young as 5. He was abused with items like a belt, iron chords and anything in sight for Joe. The abusing continued and never lessened. Since Michael was in the spotlight at a young age he never had a childhood. Which was a big loss in his eyes, he would cry because Joe wouldn't allow him to do elementary things. Since Joe never let Michael live his childhood he never grew up in his mind. People would label this as the “Peter Pan Syndrome” meaning a man who never wants to grow up. In Michaels mind how could he grow up when he never fully lived his childhood. Joe damaged his son forever by making him grow up at such a young age. Psychologically when a child is abused at a young age they are bound to develop psychiatric problems(GOAL C). In this case Michael shows that he clearly developed severe psychiatric problems by becoming depressed. Basically he threw Michael into depressions arms by not letting him be a kid. Since Michael wasn't able to live his childhood to his way, this severely affected his relationships with people his own age. Michael was very lonely throughout his life, he never had anyone he can call his best friend. All Michael wanted to do was to get married and have kids so he can treat them with love and lots of care. Losing his childhood and not being loved by his father affected his life dearly. Psychologically when a child is suffering from feeling lonely they are almost guaranteed to be anti-social, which in Michaels case this is true. Growing up Michael suffered from maintaining and adult relationship. Also to cope with losing his childhood Michael built the Neverland Ranch. This is Michaels custom built house that offers many different elementary things such as a movie theater, game rooms, train station and so much more. Michael would always have kids over so they can have fun and be happy. He mostly brought kids from the hospital since they were sick he would bring them over and let them have the time of their life. Unfortunately Michael was accused by two different families of molesting their children. This exacerbated Michael's feelings of having no one. Doing this to someone who is already dealing with depression is the worst possible thing you can do. This just made Michael feeling even lonelier; this confirmed he had no one in his life. Psychologically we need to socialize as human beings, we are social animals. Friendships are like food, we need them to survive. In this case Michael lost his food; everything in his kitchen was gone. When you don't have a social life you begin to fall apart mentally and physically. This affects the brain and once the brain is affected everything in your body is affected since all the nerves are in your brain. Which Michael has clearly shown his mental and physical state are not in a healthy state. A depressed person looks at a situation by thinking I have no one, what do I need to live for? When Michael was in his teen years, Joe would call him ugly. Joe would say Michael had a fat nose and he wasn't from his side of the family, he even commented on his pimples.
23: Michael then became very conscious and tried to hide his face as much as he could, it was hard since he was famous and was always in the spotlight. The verbal abuse continued which constantly made Michael sad and depressed. Psychologically verbal abuse is worse than physical abuse, because its more frequent. Calling him ugly made him believe he was ugly; this made him feel no one would love him. You gain a sense of worthlessness and you begin to think everything is your fault. So when Michael was getting abused he was thinking “oh its my fault I must have done something to make Joe hit me”. Emotional abuse is deeper than physical abuse. In Michael's case again he clearly shows signs of this as well. Since Michael was depressed most of his life, his weight was affected by that he was always rather skinny. Michael was so scared of his father that at the sight of him Michael would either faint or vomit, this could have played a big role on his weight as well. I spoke with my colleague about this who happens to be a Doctor. He confirms that this most likely played a big role on his weight because if he was constantly around his father, he was constantly vomiting. When you vomit your emptying your stomach which means he was losing weight. Psychologically emotional abuse goes hand in hand with weight loss, in Michael's case he is suffering from emotional abuse so therefore he is suffering from poor health as well. Lastly the patient is suffering from insomnia. This is a sleeping disorder, where the patient cannot sleep or only sleep for 2 to 3 hours a night. Psychologically when someone suffers from insomnia they must be dealing with one or many of the following negative mood, fatigue, decreased quality of life, mood disturbance and increase in depression. In Michael's case he shows signs of all of the above. In order to effectively help Michael with the depression, he must change his lifestyle. The main changes he will have to make are nutrition, social support, sleep and stress reduction. Michael will have to eat a more healthy diet and he needs to gain some weight in order to be considered healthy. Social support again we will give this a try with a life coach, his family and myself. He will be given pills in order to help him get into a healthy sleep pattern. Stress reduction will be with meditation or things he enjoys to do such as singing. Michael will be medicated for depression and insomnia. His dosage will be 2 500mg pills of Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) a day, for depression. For insomnia he will need to take 1 500mg pill of Ambien every night before bed. This will continue for 6 months and hopefully effectively help Michael with his depression.
24: Depression Assessment To complete this preliminary assessment use your courser to highlight the frequently with which you experience the following symptoms. Score 1 point for Sometimes, 2 for Frequently, and 3 for Always. A total of 30 points is possible. Common Symptoms Never 0 Sometimes 1 Frequently 2 Always 3 I have a loss of appetite. Frequently I have a loss of sleep. Always I have a loss of energy. Frequently I have a problem with poor concentration. Always I have trouble making decisions. Always I have suicidal thoughts or gestures. Always I feel hopeless about my future. Always I feel worthless. Always I have feelings of guilt and low self esteem. Always I have lost interest or enjoyment in activities. Always Your Score: __28___ If your score is 1-10 Your score indicates that you are experiencing normal to mild depression. Often this is “situational” – related to a recent loss or disappointment. While therapy may not be required, short-term counseling can help you identify your feelings and come to greater peace and acceptance over time. Therapy can offer practical solutions to work more easily through these ups and downs. Self help books and resources are useful, particularly ones about grieving and loss. Medication assessment is rarely needed with this level of depression. If your score is 11-20 Your score indicates that you are experiencing mild to moderate mood disturbance that is affecting your ability to rest and to resolve present and future problems. Sometimes this is “situational” but more often it is a mood disorder of longer duration that may have been triggered by a loss but has continued to get worse. Professional help at this point can increase your sense of resilience and self- worth, explore what contributes to your depression and restore your sense of hope. Medication assessment is useful to determine if your particular symptoms warrant anti-depressant medication; this level of depression can be treated without medication but it often takes a longer period of time. If your score is 21-30 Your score indicates that you are experiencing a severe form of depression that makes life feel just too hard every day. Hopelessness seems like a reality, not a feeling, and the future looks dark and hopeless. Immediate professional help is needed -- severe depression is life- threatening and life-changing; it does not resolve without professional help. Assessment for anti-depressant medication, particularly if you are experiencing suicidal thoughts and/or severe loss of energy and appetite, to support daily functioning and recovery.
26: Molestation Charges | "The betrayal of trust carries a heavy taboo." -Aldrich Ames
27: Michael Jackson was accused twice of child molestation. Once in 1993 and the second in 2004(5). There were many grueling details of what the accusers said Michael did to them. The first case was dismissed because Michael paid the family a massive amount of money but the amount was never known to the public, it's said to be around 15-20 million dollars. In 2004, he was then accused by a boy named Gavin Arvizo. He also gave details about what Michael allegedly did to him. He was not proven guilty. The emotional damage it did to Michael was deep and hurtful. Michael reportedly said in many interviews he would never harm children. He said these allegations were disrespectful and evil, and he was so shocked that people he helped make a better life for themselves would do such a thing. He said it wasn't in his heart to do such a thing to innocent little children. Michael wanted to end this nightmare as soon as possible, he wanted justice. Many people questioned why he paid off the first accuser in 1993. The reason was because he felt he didn't deserve to be put through this and he couldn't take it anymore. He thought once he paid for it, it would all end right there and then. It did end but sadly it came back in 2004. (6)Fortunately, he was not proven guilty, but that didn't take away from the pain those accusers added to Michaels pain. Michael is man who wants to heal the world, a nice man who wants to do good for the less fortunate. Not someone who wants to take advantage of little angels. What those families did to Michael was evil, they will never take that pain away. Jordan Chandler the first accuser spoke out after Michaels death and admitted to lying about the charges he filed against the King of pop.
28: Lyrics | "If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and then make a change." (GOAL D) -Man in the mirror | "All I wanna say is that they don't really care about us" -They don't really care about us | I'm searching for the world that i come from cause I've been looking around in the lost and found of my heart no one understands me they view it as such strange eccentricities -Childhood | Smile though your heart is aching. Smile even though it's breaking when there are clouds in the sky you'll get by. -Smile | "After silence that which comes nearest to expressing the in expressible is music." -Aldous Huxley
29: "It don't matter if your black or white"(3) -Black or White | "Everyone's taking control of me seems that the worlds got a role for me im so confused will you show to me you'll be there for me and care enough to bear me" (GOAL D) -Will you be there | "Did you ever stop to notice the crying earth the weeping shores." -Earth song | Make it a better place for you and for me and the entire human race these people are dying if you care enough for the living make a better place.(4) -Heal the world | If you smile with your fear and sorrow smile and maybe tomorrow you'll find that life is still worthwhile if you just..... -Smile
30: Diagnosed | Michael Jackson was diagnosed with a disease called Vitiligo in 1986. This disease is a condition where depigmentation occurs in sections of the skin. This was big issue in Michael's life because the world thought he didn't want to be black anymore(1). They accused him of bleaching his skin color so he can be white. Which obviously isn't true at all, but the world didn't believe it. He was so hurt by the allegations made his fans, it was disheartening to hear what the fans really thought. Michael was in an interview with Oprah Winfrey when she raised the question that people thought he was ashamed of being black. Michael responding by saying he was very proud of being a successful black male, he further added this is a skin disorder he can't control(2). He then said no one talks about the people who are out there in the sun trying to get darker. What about them? he said. In fact the reason Michael began wearing one glove was to hide the infected Vitiligo hand. Now wearing one glove worldwide is the coolest thing ever. This again added to Michael's painful life, the world never made it easy for the man to transition to any new phase in his life.
31: "The soul becomes dyed with the color of its thoughts." -Marcus Aurelius