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In Touch with YOTG

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BC: we've got you covered, from . . . | Sunday | to Special Day | to Average Workday | to Threeway

FC: IN | IN TOUCH | with YOTG | BABY BUMP WATCH! | Too much lunch or a secret pregnancy for Amy? | SECRET WORLD: My Life Inside an FLDS Cult | MEGAN'S ENGAGED! | On Set with Catherine | Why did Melissa turn down the role?

1: Contents _______________________________________________________________________________ | 12 | 12 Bump or lunch? What's Amy hiding? | COVER STORY | 4 Scoop Bione can't hide her "love" addiction any longer. | Feature: Who Wore It Best? | 17

2: YOTG Tracks | HURRICANE HARBOR Amy, Stephanie, and Chris brave the beach with cute kid in tow in spite of sandstorms. | WHAT'S UP DOCK? Stephanie and Amy contemplate Jernigan's sandwiches dockside.

3: I'M ON A BOAT! Walking the plank like a catwalk, a glammed up Megan sails the French Riviera. | RIDING DIRTY IN FLO RIDA The whole YOTG crew flaunt their physiques during an oceanside outing. | OOH LA LA! Catherine canoodles with sexy hunks poolside!

4: YOTGTracks | PEOPLE ARE STRANGE Amy and Erin check out the competition - shocking! | RUNNING DIRTY | REAR VIEW: The sexy ladies of YOTG show off their ASSets!

5: ENTOURAGE Steph, Megan, Amy and Erin are the mob wives of OKC. | AGENT ORANGE Chris gives a fruity grin to the paparazzi.

6: Scoop | BREAKING CELEBRITY NEWS! | While her husband has been keeping a low profile, Bione, 31, has been spotted around town engaging in a disturbing "love" addiction. "I wouldn't call it love," says a source close to her. It appears to be an addiction to greased-up hard bodies with working names like "Thor" and "Jet." It certainly doesn't seem befitting of a woman with a young child who married into the Mormon church. "I think she may end up on Celebrity Rehab," predicts the source. "Dr. Drew is the only one who can help her now." | Bione carries this "Tip Drill" list with her at all times - a laundry list of would-be lovers. | This This This | This | This feature brought to you by Restaurant. Restaurant: It's a restaurant.

7: Megan, 33, fell head over heels for her physicist Joel several years ago. She's shot down many pregnancy and engagement rumors over the years, but now it's official! The wedding is planned for early 2013 with a chic keg party to follow in June. A source close to the couple describes their love affair as radiant, much like the crystals that are the subject of Joel's research. Apparently they love to talk about physics, and properties of physics. Spoiler alert! Joel plans to build her an elephant lamp with a trunk pull lighting mechanism as a wedding gift. Mazel tov Megan and Joel! | Megan's about to become Mrs. Helton! | The Bear Necessities Will there be a surprise appearance by a bear at Megan's wedding like fellow YOTGer Angie's? Will Joel defend the woman he loves?!


9: THEN: Attracting the old and infirm! | NOW: Sexxxing up bears! | THEN: Boys don't make passes at girls who wear glasses! | NOW: Making them cream their shorts! Or shit themselves. | THEN: An adorably innocent school girl. | NOW: Looks like a boy made more than a pass! | THEN: She'd eat your liver with fava beans and chianti. | NOW: Still keeping up innocent appearances. | YOTGers THEN & NOW | Can you match up these superstars with their younger selves???

10: 6am: I'm up way too early getting hair and makeup! | 9am: In full makeup filming a scene. | 8am: Meeting with my director - he's really deep! | 3pm: Snogging with a hottie! | On Set: | A Day in the Life with Catherine | What About Melissa? Everyone knows Melissa was offered this role first, so why didn't she take it? Melissa couldn't be reached for comment, but she tweeted this recent picture of herself. It seems she's taking time out to find herself and possibly learn the bonsai arts. Namaste and arigato! | _______________________________________________________________________________________ | 9pm: Drinking my cares away.

11: Movies | Movies ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ | Step Up Revolution ______________________________________________________________________________________ There is only one movie on every YOTGer's list this summer - Step Up Revolution! The question on everyone's mind is "Who is the mob?" and we're about the find out! I should write about the plot here, but does it really matter? It's going to be dance pornography and we're not going for the plot! We will be all Pee Wee Herman up in there pleasuring ourselves in public by touching our most private parts - the parts that were born from a boombox! Yo, why my crib smell like broccoli, funyuns, and ball sweat, you ask? Because the YOTGers are in there steppin' it up!!! | "Listen up, we exist!"

12: YOTGers - THEY'RE JUST LIKE US! | They Psychotically | Love Lingerie! | Catherine can't wait to put on this old-timey corset and have her man rip it handily from her heaving bosoms! | They Get Regrettable | Tramp Stamps! | They Give Birth | to Humans! | Chris almost looks proud in this picture . . . but it didn't last. | These small humans burst from Stephanie's loins! (not the dog though)

13: the | They Give Birth | To Bears! | They Sit in Chairs! | Megan and Erin recline in the comfort of chairs. These feel so good they ought to be illegal!" said Erin. | We always knew Kevin was a beast, but we didn't know he could make Angie's dreams of being a mama bear come true!

14: Baby on Board? Amy has often been viewed as an uberfeminist, a "feminazi" even, who would hardly consider training her gaze upon a soul-sucking infant, much less renting out her uterus to one. She is the type of feminist some would say only likes babies when they're sauteed in truffle oil and served over the flame-roasted testicles of convicted wife-beaters. But there's no denying that the signs are pointing to a pregnancy in progress for Amy. Observe the evidence. In this photo she appears to be enjoying the company of a child, and not ironically. And she either needs Spanx, or a 4-5 month baby bump is definitely showing (according to OB-Gyn Dr. Richard Kok, who has never treated Amy nor been invited to see a woman's vulva socially).

15: ____________ | IS AMY FIT TO MOTHER? It's hard to say. Some friends describe her as nurturing and loving. But she collects questionable children's toys like this doll, which can only be described as demonic. She has also said of herself, "Everything I love dies." | Matching bumps with the assumed father? Many fathers-to-be gain sympathy weight. This Venn diagram points to fetus. | Women often feel compelled to reconnect with close friends during pregnancy, like Amy's bosom friend Jonah. | Nesting? Moms like to clean house before a baby (or get someone else to clean house!). | Babymoon? Amy's trying to fit in her travels while she can. | Looks like she wants to cut a bitch, right? Pregnant women are prone to fits of hormonal rage.

16: Looking at her now, you'd never guess that Angie was born into a secretive polygamist cult affiliated with the Fundamentalist Latter Day Saints. Angie lived in this cult in the tiny town of Goodwell, OK. Her parents viciously abused her and her sisters, forcing them to wear hideous dresses daily, but then only allowing them to wear sweatsuits to the local public school (those really awful ones from Walmart with the elastic around the ankles) even on picture day. When they'd get angry with the girls (probably because they wanted sons), they would withhold nourishment from them, telling them to swallow their spit instead of giving them water. Thankfully Angie is one of the few lucky girls who managed to get out before she was forced to become a child bride to some redneck. Instead she became an adult bride to a redneck named Kevin (confirmed by source Jeff Foxworthy: "You know you're a redneck if you love noodling."). But it's better because that redneck only has one wife - Angie. And she's moved far from the tiny incestuous town of Goodwell, to the tiny incestuous town of Skiatook. But at least she lives near Pioneer Woman. And she still shops at Walmart, but she doesn't buy those awful sweatsuits. | BORN INTO AN FLDS CULT | SECRET LIFE | Angie and her sisters don the traditional dress of polygamist women. | When painful memories get to be too much, Angie drinks. A lot. | Too traumatized to seek love, for years Angie threw all her love into bears, crafts, and bear crafts.

17: I'm 35 and addicted to the Pretty Little Liars series written for 12 year old girls! If you love Gossip Girl, One Tree Hill, or any teen drama then these are the best books ever. I like to hide from the kids with wine and PLL in hand and relive my youth. | Books: YOTG Picks | These books never stop amazing me. Sara Shepard is a mystery-creating genius. Every twist blows my mind. I bought it at midnight on my kindle and stayed up all night reading it, and now I hate myself for letting it end so fast. | I, I mean my 13 year old niece loves this book series. These books do contain some content that should not be read by people under the age of 25, I mean 12 as it deals with murder and relationships. Wonderful book collection for yourself, I mean your older teenage daughters! | I never read books! Reading is for boys, but after seeing the Pretty Little Liars show I became obsessed and wanted to read the books. I just finished the fourth book and I bought them a month ago. They are so addicting. By far the best books I have ever read!

18: CHICKEN POSOLE Serves 6 ______________ 1 lb tomatillos 8 cups chicken broth 2 cups chopped onion 1 lb chicken (pre-chop or shred after cooking) 4 garlic gloves 2 jalepeno peppers (seeded and chopped) 1 large can of hominy 1. De-husk tomatillos and cook in boiling water for 10 minutes. Cool, then use blender to blend until smooth. 2. Add stock, onion, chicken, garlic, jalepeno and hominy to pot, bring to boil. Cover and simmer for 35 minutes. 3. Remove chicken and shred if not pre-chopped. 4. Add tomatillo and chicken to soup. 5. Serve with tortilla chips, cilantro, fresh lime, and avocado. | GreatRecipes | Gluten Free Chef Steph | Leah taste tested this recipe and said, "I loved it! I couldn't even tell that it's a recipe designed for losers who should just carry tons of epipens arounds so they don't inconvenience me!"

19: Pony Express Angie sported a kid on a carousel in Colorado, while Erin wore the look internationally. | Who Wore It Best? We polled 3 people in Inverness, IL | 100% | 0% | Mini Millinery Amy donned a micro-chapeau in OKC. Chris sported the same look in his parents' basement. | Wind Tunnel Megan let the breeze revive her after partying overseas. Melissa's locks flowed free during a climbing expedition. | 33.3% | 66.7% | 66.7% | 33.3%

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  • By: Erin O.
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  • Title: In Touch with YOTG
  • Here it is ladies!
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  • Published: almost 6 years ago