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Rustic Charm

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S: Cherie's Retirement

BC: We'll Miss you Cherie! | By: Sherice Underwood 2011

FC: I hate this place!

1: Now that you are finished here, And are clearing out your space, We will definitely miss your cry of how you hate this place” Your smile, your humor, your friendship, Surely are the best. The way you guide and teach, Passes every test Retirement is the end of work, That's what some seem to say, But we have talked to many more, Who say it's not that way Your grandkids will keep you busy along with all you have to do Like working in the garden or hitting a mall or two Goodbye to work, you're on a high, it's the best day of your life! You can gladly hand the reigns over, goodbye to toil and strife We wish you joy and health, And happiness galore. UCR will not be the same Of that you can be sure Please come back and visit, You mean the world, it's true. Good luck, good wishes and more In everything you do By: Sherice Underwood

2: By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may get to be a boss and work twelve hours a day. Robert Frost

3: You never know anyone's listening to you until you fart

4: Botany way back when....

5: Out with the old, in with the new

7: Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is the probable reason why so few engage in it. Henry Ford

8: Recent Botany Staff

9: ALWAYS A PARTY GOING ON | Always a party going on

10: Cherie's Many Men

11: Oh, What Power!

12: Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups

14: Cherie's many roles!

15: Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me! | Doing nothing is very hard to never know when you're finished. Leslie Nielsen

16: You're a monster, Ms. Cherie. Your heart's an empty hole. You’re leaving us for spiders, You've got garlic in your soul. Ms. Cherie We wouldn't visit you, As you mingle with trolls You're a vile one, Ms. Cherie You’ll have termites in your smile. You have all the tender sweetness Of a seasick crocodile. Ms. Cherie Given the choice between the two of you I'd take the seasick crocodile. | You're a mean one, Ms. Cherie. You’re leaving us so soon You're as cuddly as a cactus, You're as charming as a baboon. Ms. Cherie. You'll be a sad one With a department of fools.

17: You're a foul one, Ms. Cherie. You're a nasty, wasty skunk. Your heart is full of entomology bugs Your soul is full of gunk. Ms. Cherie. The three words that best describe you, are, and I quote: "Stink. Stank. Stunk." You're a traitor, Ms. Cherie You're the queen of poop jokes Your heart's a smelly artichoke With moldy purple spokes Ms. Cherie | Your soul is an apalling bug heap overflowing with the most disgraceful assortment of deplorable insects imaginable, Mangled up in tangled up webs. You devastate us, Ms. Cherie With a regretful good-bye. You're a crooked FAO And you’ll run a crooked show. Ms. Cherie You're a three decker saurkraut and toadstool sandwich But please don’t go! Botany Staff 2009

18: Clearly Entomology staff had a hard time following orders

19: So, it was time for the big guns! Cherie to the rescue!

20: Entomology Staff - won't be the same without you!

21: Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all. ~ Sam Ewing

22: Enjoy yourself. These are the good old days you're going to miss in the years ahead

23: APSU Dean's office and others - 2010 Halloween

24: POOP SKILLS TO TAKE WITH YOU ESCAPEE: a fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing a poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of panic embarrassment. This is similar to the hot flash you receive when passing an unseen police car and speeding. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter in the urinal, pretend you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee, it is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy. JAILBREAK: (Used in conjunction with Escapee). When forcing poop, several farts slip out at a machine gun pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen, do not panic. Remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom so to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred. COURTESY FLUSH: The act of flushing the toilet the instant the nose cone of the poop log hits the water and the poop is whisked away to an undisclosed location. This reduces the amount of air time the poop has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the walk of shame. WALK OF SHAME: Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with all farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. Can be avoided with the use of the courtesy flush. OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER: A colleague who poops at work and proud of it. You will often see an Out Of The Closet Pooper enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under their arm. Always look around the office for the Out Of The Closet Pooper before entering the bathroom. POOPING FRIENDS NETWORK: A group of coworkers who band together to ensure emergency pooping goes off without incident. This group can help you to monitor the whereabouts of Out Of The Closet Poopers, and identify safe havens.

25: POOP SKILLS CONTINUED SAFE HAVENS: A seldom used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a pooper of your sex entering the bathroom. TURD BURGLAR: A pooper who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a dump at work. If this occurs, remain in the stall until the Turd Burglar leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact. CAMO-COUGH: A phony cough that alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in a stall. This can be used to cover-up a watermelon, or to alert potential Turd Burglars. Very effective when used in conjunction with an astaire. ASTAIRE: A subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential Turd Burglars that you are occupying a stall. This will remove all doubt that the stall is occupied. If you hear an Astaire, leave the bathroom immediately so the pooper can poop in peace. WATERMELON: A turd that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a Watermelon coming on, create a diversion. See Camo-cough. HAVANA OMLETTE: A load of diarrhea that creates a series of loud splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an Escapee. Try using a Camo-Cough with an Astaire. FLY BY: The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping. Walk in and check for other poopers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back again. Be careful not to become a frequent flyer. People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom.

26: The Financial Gurus of CNAS!

27: Stress is the confusion created when one's mind overrides the body's basic desire to choke the living daylights out of some jerk who desperately deserves it

29: Old friends pass away, new friends appear. It is just like the days. An old day passes, a new day arrives. The important thing is to make it meaningful: a meaningful friend - or a meaningful day. Dalai Lama

30: Thanks for leaving such a wonderful legacy of irreverence, humor, depressed poop, intelligence, savviness, SSRI knowledge, attitude, youthfulness and generosity. Stay young in your retirement - you will not be forgotten, Charlotte (oops). - Jocelyn | Cherie, All I can say is that you left before the place actually headed to hell in a hand basket. Henry | Thank you so much for your encouragement and support over the last seven years. I have grown so much under your leadership here in Botany and your continued mentorship after transferring to Entomology. I owe you more than any words can describe. Thank you.! With the deepest gratitude and affection, Deb P.S. I hate this place!! | So sorry to see you go but if anyone deserves it, you do. You have come full circle from the days long ago that you worked in Entomology. A big "Thank You" for all you have done for me since you recovered from 'over my dead body' when I first came to BPS. I will miss your steady hand at the wheel and 'I hate this place'. Enjoy the grandkids - they're lucky to have a witch like you to look after them. Let me know when you need a new broom. Cheers, Rob | I wouldn't be where I am today if it weren't for you. You made Botany what it is now and always encouraged us to reach for more. Thanks, Amber | Cherie, Thank you for your many years of leadership in BPSC. We had (and have) a wonderful staff because you made good decisions in recruiting and training the best people. Many have gone on to other departments but owe their start at UCR to BPSC. We miss you already and will do so more in the future. However, I'm sure that the next phase of your life will hold new challenges and many joys. Best wishes for a long and happy retirement (or whatever else you decide to do). Mike | DEDICATIONS

31: Enjoy life! It was great working with you, best wishes in everything you do Thanks Missy! Guille | “I wanna be where the people are, up where they walk, up where they run, Up where they stay all day in the sun, Wandering free, wish I could be Part of that world!” Ariel- The Little Mermaid Best wishes, Joy | Dear Cherie, As you move on into the next amazing chapter of your life, know that you will be missed and that our best wishes go with you. It was an honor to have you as a mentor and friend. At last no more boring meetings, annoying bosses, and painful furloughs! It’s time to enjoy your retirement. You’ve earned it! If you are ever in the Bay Area, please come visit. I can be reached at 415-845-9224. Keep in touch. Myriam | Dear Cherie, Congratulations on your retirement! I will miss you dearly, but I’ll always admire and adore you for the awesome person that you are. Best wishes to you. Respectfully yours, Juliet | Cherie, I know I have told you this before, but you truly are THE BEST BOSS ever! Thanks for supporting us departmental staff over the years and for quite often being the lone voice of reason. I appreciate the opportunity for professional growth that was provided to me as a direct result of being under your mentorship. I have learned so much from you and will miss you terribly. With best wishes, Jasmine | Cherie, Since the first day I joined Botany, I’d hear rumors of your retirement. I can’t believe that day has come. I’d like to think it was because of us that you stayed as long as you did, but I’m sure it was for other reasons I’m grateful for the time you served as the FAO for Botany and the legacy you left behind can never be replaced! Here’s to your well-deserved retirement!!! Cheers! Cam

32: UCR will not be the same without you! You have changed so many people's lives and are truly an inspiration to us all! Enjoy retirement and go see the World! Sherice

33: I hate this place! | The trouble with retirement is that the minute you wake up in the morning you're on the job

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  • Title: Rustic Charm
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