S: 80 THINGS ABOUT HUGH
FC: 80 THINGS ABOUT HUGH
1: "Hughism" - a distinctive doctrine, theory or saying repeated many times by Hugh B. Hollowood so as to give him ownership of such doctrine, theory or saying.
2: "Good heavens Mrs Evens!" "Into every life, a little rain must fall." "Is everything under control?" | "Ho Hum" "You've seen one, you've seen 'em all!" "Worry about the big things." | "Hey Pete!" "This too shall pass." "Well, he/she IS a Hollowood you know."
3: "Considering the alternative, I'm doing great!" "What ever floats your boat!" "She's tough!" "Move it or milk it!" | "When I become the benevolent dictator..." "Any port in a storm." "I'm halfway between wonderful and perfect!" "Whatever blows your skirt up!" "Things could always be worse." "I don't know whether I am on foot or horseback."
4: "If I could do it all over again I would only change one thing....I would have married your mother sooner!"
5: "Oh let's see...there must be a way we can fix that!" "Recognized expert in synchronous motors." - Complete with hand gesture.
6: "Geez...I'm getting too old for this!" (First heard in 1973) "If things were any better, I'd have to shoot myself!" "I can't complain." (Sometimes followed by a complaint within 30 seconds!)
7: "Come Hell or high water!" "Nooma-sa-ca No-ma-sinka!" | When asked how golf went, "Not bad, shot a 77." (In your dreams!) After hitting another bad golf shot, "What the hell am I doing wrong!"
8: "Aw..mother's milk" (said after a sip of Jameson) "We don't drink the Bushmills, it's from the North!" | "How can you drink that stuff?!" (Light beer)
9: As a man passes in his new "Yugo" car, Hugh says "oops they spelled it wrong!"
10: "What is that Volkswagen doing on the Fulton's lawn?" To a lady trying making a turn, "Do you have to dismantle it to turn it?!" "Come on Lady why don't you use your *gosh darn* turn signal?" (Immediately preceded by a gentle blast of the horn!)
11: "Illegitimi non carborundum."(Don't let the Ba***rd's get you down) "I am going to make a statement and it is not up for discussion." | "Don't ask the question if you can't handle the answer!" "He doesn't know his ass from his elbow!" "Off like a dirty shirt!" "Places to go, people to see!" "Why would you listen to those stupid commercials when you can mute them?" "Hello, old man from the North calling."
12: "You ready to go, love of my life?" When the kids would ask if they could do something their friends were doing - "Well, is their last name Hollowood?" | "It's five o'clock somewhere!" "When you quit having fun it's time to get off." "We don't make much money but we have a lot of fun!" "When we quit laughing we've lost the battle, so keep laughing." "It's 2 AM! Who's that on a motorcycle driving across the lawn?! Oh, it's only Shuttleworth!" "Don't tell me your in bed already! It's only 6 o'clock! Geez, Saratoga calling."
13: "Seven milli-seconds after the light turns green - "What are you waiting for?!" "Seven milli-seconds after the light turns green - "I'm not getting any younger!" Seven milli-seconds after the light turns green - "What shade of green do you want?"
14: "Hit us again Babs!" "Get the overhead projector - we're off to the Motor Court-Round Lake of course." | "He ought to tell her to go s**t in his hat!" "So Bob Scott-you said we would lose our bond issue 3 to 1. What do you say now!!" | "It's one AM! Who's knocking at our door? Oh God it's the Connollys and the Goulds! Open up the bar Bernice!"
15: "Hugh Bits" - A small story or "bit" of fond or funny interactions involving Hugh over the years.
16: Hugh straightened out the plastic rug daily on Garrett Road even though we had just straightened it when we saw him arrive! One evening, Brien slipped a Whoopie cushion under Hugh as he sat in his chair after work and Hugh jumped up and said "Aw damn! I ripped my pants!" On a camping trip, Hugh took all the kids to fish and while baiting our hooks, balancing on a log, he fell into the water! Back to the camp site we went so Hugh could dry off!
17: The last thing one would ever expect of Hugh would be to find him speechless, but we had that experience unusual as it may be. When we worked at GE we often went to the Sans Souci Restaurant for lunch on Fridays. One year when the New Year's football bowl game were coming up Hugh and I made a bet on a game with the loser to buy lunch. A little later we made it a double or nothing combination, adding another game to the bet. I won so Hugh owed me two lunches. Not to be selfish and unknown to Hugh, I invited Pat and Bernice to meet us for lunch. They got there first and were sitting in a booth when Hugh and I arrived. Hugh had his trench coat in his hand, when he saw them he stared in disbelief, not saying a word, threw his coat down onto the seat. He then picked up his coat and did the same thing again, not saying a word. He did it again one more time but finally said something like "what the hell are you doing here?" We laughed and he paid the bill literally as well as figuratively.
18: One night Pat and I were asleep when the phone rang. You know how you react to late night phone calls, what's happened to somebody is the first thing that goes through your mind. It was Hugh. He said they were sitting around playing music and the question came up, "who was the female singer that sang with Louie Prima's band?" I said something like "you called me in the middle of the night to ask me that" and followed with "how the hell do I know?" I suddenly woke up at 5 AM with the answer, called Hugh and said in a very loud voice "Keely Smith!" and slammed down the phone.
19: "Well Bob Wall and I"..countless stories about Bob Wall and how they solved issues during the GE days. Now when we find ourselves in a pickle we turn to each other and say, "what would Bob Wall do?" | When Cordero used to ride, Hugh would say "I bet Cordero to show and win every time!" When it was pointed out that he only bet 1 dollar and won 5 cents he would say, "but I won!" | When calling Hugh, I always ask, "how is the family?" Hugh's answer is always the same, "Alright as far as I know. I don't ask."
20: When we were perhaps 4 or 5, Hugh used to swing on the door of a cast iron range in the kitchen in Alexandria Bay. He was, of course, told repeatedly to cease. One day, undetected, he swung too strenuously and off the door came. It was a big heavy door. When discovered, our mother, quite upset queried Hugh who looked her straight in the eye, shrugged and said he didn't know what caused it, he was just passing by the stove when the door fell right off!! I remember to this day mother looking at our father and they both started to laugh.
21: About 14 years ago when I was working in Palm Beach, Mom and Dad came to Florida. One night we went to a great old restaurant in Palm Beach. They had a piano in the bar that could sit six people around it. After a lovely meal we went there for an after dinner drink. The piano player was quite good and Dad requested a song which he said he would be happy to play. You could see Dad tapping his foot and when he got to the chorus Dad broke out in song,"No balls at all, no balls at all, she married a man with no balls at all!" At this point the piano player walked away into a back room. We looked around at all the people sitting with us and said,"well, looks like it is time to go." Never a dull moment with Hugh!
22: I am not sure how long ago this happened, but we played a softball game in some tournament that Bruce Simek and I stumbled into. My Dad pitched, Hugh played first, John, Donald, Doug Bradt and some other bowling buddies played also. We, of course, lost, and big time, but we had a great time. The best time came when we were all finished, we were having an after game lemonade when someone discovered the glove Hugh used to play that day. It was an old fashioned first baseman's glove that looked like a lobster's claw! No one at the game had ever seen anything like this. Before long, it was all anyone from both teams were talking about. Everyone was trying on the glove to see how it fit. And of course everyone had to ask for the stories about it and Hugh was more than happy to comply. The stories went on for a long time. We stayed and made it through the next game, mostly because of the glove. Of course the lemonade didn't hurt either!
24: As was customary in the 50's, the bride and groom left their reception to change into their "going away" outfits. When Hugh and Bernice arrived at her parents house, the door was locked! Hugh had to remove the screen on a window. Luckily the window was unlocked so he could open it and climb in! | When it became obvious that Bernice would be leaving for the hospital soon for birth number 5, it was dinner time for the others. Hugh scrambled some eggs and threw in all the leftovers from the refrigerator. He presented it to the children calling it "Ugh". They cleaned their plates! | Hugh always sent Bernice a dozen roses after a birth and the enclosed card usually said"Thanks!" When Linda was born, however, the card said "3 of 6".
25: Hugh - our favorite bar keep. "Dean get going with the hors d'oeuvres it's getting close to 4! The drinks arrive with a toast to Ace and now Hank. Early on, one can notice the last drink on the tray is a little darker and a bit taller. But as the hour wears on who cares! Religion, politics, past trips and work are all dealt with thoroughly and arguments are mellowed out with the scotch. However, at bedtime the scotch has no stupefying affects on Hugh at all. "Smith, either quit snoring or get the hell out!"
26: I believe Hugh's music ability would put him in the Tympani section of a symphonic orchestra. Once while in one of his melodic moods and singing a peppy song, he grabbed 2 pots with long handles and tapped out a tremendous rhythmic beat on the cross beam at Camp 12. | Hugh was appointed (railroaded) to the position of Bar Keep in the early days of our "Sixer" relationship. His main duty was to insure that the cocktail hour started promptly at 4 pm. On the occasion when an earlier time seem appropriate, or required as conditions indicated, he would justify the change with everyone's favorite "Hughism","It's 4 o'clock somewhere!" He never failed in his duties in over 50 years being together.
27: Once while returning to Camp 12 from skiing down Annie Oakley's Hill, we were bushed. But Bob, Hank and Ace were going like hell! Hugh said,"Smitty hold up! If we take our time, they'll get the fire going, Ace will get the soup going and we can wheel right in!" Hugh always had the best ideas! | One weekend at the Opalescent Brook lean-to,we experienced some wet snow conditions climbing on Saturday. We all ended up with very wet boots. All except Hugh hung their boots on the overhand of the lean-to to dry. Hugh put his close to the fire and left them there all night. By morning they were dry, but really cooked, somewhat scorched, and stiff as a board! His trip back to the trailhead was most uncomfortable. Of course the rest of us gave him a good dose of "Sixer Sympathy" and never let him forget that he was so under the influence of "John Barleycorn" that he could not take care of his equipment properly!
28: When the children became "of age" to go out in the evening and sometimes would request the car, they were told emphatically by Hugh to come to our bedroom door to let us know that they were home because "he didn't sleep a wink until he knew they were home". After hearing this many times, one of them said,"I always do that Dad, but how come it is always Mom that responds with thanks and someone else is obviously asleep in the same room!"
29: Happy 80th Hugh! May your home never be too small to hold all your friends.