S: By Amanda Hall
FC: Smoldering Autumn
1: ~Smoldering Autumn~ Current mood:blessed Autumn was the one time of the year when I could stand amongst the leafs and watch the world burn~ To watch beauty consum the sky with water below my feet and yearn~ Yearn for the change~ For a better tomorrow~ For a new and perfect year~ To watch the sunset light a blaze to the unperfect moments in my life once again~ Even if it was for the last time~ To watch it burn away all signs of my crime~ Of all my sins~ Cause a place so green and perfect could never truely last forever~ For me, or whoever~ So I stood on that dock with the sunset infront of me for a new beginning, and the dark approaching from behind to smolder the ashes~ | ~The Will~ March 11, 2009 If I love you I'll love you forever~ Not only for a month, a year, 5 years from now, cause it will be you who will pull the lever~ I believe if you love someone you love with all your heart~ Not a piece, not a section, but everything, like they are your art~ Your painting, your sculpture, your every emotion~ Cause if you love someone enough you will give your life for them~ Mothers, Fathers, Brothers, Sisters, Grandparents, Aunt's, Uncles, Friends~ They will hold you up like a stem~ Love will either hold you up~ Or break you down~ You maybe one of the people that has hurt me several times thoughout my life but know matter the pain, my heart loves you still~ Cause I have the will~ The will to forgive and forget~
2: Nov 4, 2009 ~Rising and falling Sun~ Current mood:blessed Like the rising sun I to rose in east~ Though I have always belonged in the west~ I have seen much beauty in this world that others may have never really seen~ To be able to breath in a place so green~ A place so hot and humid my lungs clinging to the air conditioner~ Yes laugh, you may, but in those times I was a good listener~ To every story that was laid out in front of me, even though now they are all just my past memories~ Reasons to laugh, reasons to be sad, but all just stories~ | But as I said before I rose in the east~ I have always belonged in the west~ Just like the rest~ A place so high, I can stand on a mountain and touch the sky~ Watch a shooting star, and have every reason to cry~ Put my feet in the water and know that, that water at one point had never been touched by man~ A place so cold that I can watch a full moon light up the dark to see my childish snowman~ You dont have to go far to enjoy the most beautiful of places~ I have always look at nature and mixed it with my emotions~ But as life goes on and I change as a person I look back and question those moments in time~ Who I knew, who left my life, and who changed it~ For the better, for the worst, I will never know~ But to those people out their who I once loved, the ones I love still, and to the ones who don't love me~ Everything I see represents you in some way~ To the falling rain, the breeze that once crossed my face, to the thunderstorms that once brought on excitement and fear, And as always the rising and falling sun~ (Rising Sun: Family in the East) (Falling Sun: Family in the West)
3: Mar 8, 2010 ~My Element~ Current mood:indescribable Darkness consumes the sky~ Another day has gone by~ A restless heart consumed by its fears~ Stands on solid earth to dispel its tears~ To once again replenish the dried soil left by a sunny day~ So the flowers below its feet can yet again be reborn the next day~ And if fire should ripe across the beauty provided by mother earth~ Let the rain once again give way to a new birth~ A new birth provided by unclouded sky~ And a bright new moon~ So yet again it can stand amongst beauty, and a full new life~ | "Dont know what to say about this one really it mainly about new beginnings, that if life should ripe you apart in one way or another, time will provide healing, and comfort." I think the elements are not only a natural beauty provided by earth but away to see yourself within those elements. Each element a emotion: WATER "Rain"~my tears, or others tears. AIR "Wind"~my uncertainy. EARTH~ my balance, my sanity. FIRE~ my anger, or others anger. My Element : EARTH, "But No I dont have a green thumb, the plant will die lol. Not enough sun when you like the full moon more".
4: Mar 27, 2010 ~MY BEST FRIEND~ Current mood:blessed Thank you for always putting up with me~ Your the only friend who can honestly see~ See right though my pain when Im down and cant seem to breath~ The one who can see what I hide beneath~ Beneath my shadowed heart~ How to describe a friendship that has lasted so many years~ Though the laughs and the tears~ Tears of joy, tears of sadness~ Your always there, in one way or the other~ Your never the type to smother~ | You always give me the best advice~ Your never the type to just tell me to roll the dice~ Memories never forgotten always held in my heart~ I was a lucky friend from the start~ So even though I dont thank you everyday~ Please know that this poem was meant for you~ My Best friend~ My sister~ LOVE YOU ROOTBEER :)
5: She is like the sun, and I like the moon.. One so bright, the other so dark. A best friend is suppost to brighten a day, from the rising sun tell the twilight appears on the horizon. But the moon, a full moon still is there to cool the day, to bring growth. Yet it appears in darkness doesn't bring question. The moon would have no reason to rest without its balance of the sun..
6: Jun 3, 2010 ~Dream~ Current mood:drained Go to sleep and dream the storms of your will~ Let your dreams consume your body and spill~ Let it take away your pain~ Let it all go down the drain~ Runaway from everything you fear~ Runaway, runaway here~ Go and dream your own happiness~ Take away your sadness~ Sleep, Sleep, Sleep~ Dream of beauty, of happiness, and joy~ Jump over tree's, play on play ground toy~ Dream, Dream, Dream~ And see what you really are, want, and need~ It will tell you indeed~ Let your conscious give you your freedoms of life~ Trust it, and have faith beyond reality~ | Jun 3, 2010 ~Rain~ I see the clouds roll in~ I know the rain wont be far away to wash away my sin~ Warmth consumes everything around this wounded heart~ Soon everything will be gone as the rain is not far, and will soon start~ So I look to the sky, while tears full down my cheeks~ The first drop has touch me and I soon feel so weak~ Weakness takes away my being, while the rain soon becomes my tears~ My body crys no more, cause there is nothing to fear~ Lightning and thunder surrender their rights~ Cause tonight is my night~ To let the rain drown me~ But as mother nature has given me this gift, the sky parts once again to reveal a brand new moon~ Full of beauty and grace~ I thank her for her understanding as I stand amongst my fog like dream~ Feeling as though I finally have started a new beginning~ Rain, Rain consume me~
7: Jul 7, 2010 ~Fall~ Current mood:discontent The cold shivers down my spine~ Fall has set into dine~ Amongst the greenest of places it shall consume the beauty~ Cause to fall thats its duty~ Leafs surrender there right, cause they knew they only had a few months of life~ Cold covers the land, as the surroundings start to burn~ Everything is at a turn~ Leafs fall around my life~ My Body~ My Soul~ It consumes my sadness~ And with every burning leaf that falls my soul opens up to become happiness~ My life spin's in circles, with arms held out to catch my fall~ But I choose to fall, to fall amongst the burnt pieces of life, happy or sad~ Fall, Fall, Fall~ | Sep 10, 2010 ~One Hug~ Time flies by, without time to say goodbye~ This world full of other peoples feelings let alone my own~ Some of their hearts made with stone~ Summers full of the happiest moments ever known to my life~ 2008 every moment shred with a knife~ But to say it was all A waste would be a complete lie~ To be able to hold my brother and sisters in my arms can even now make me cry~ To that very moment when one hug made my life feel so complete~ To my father I feel like I owe indeed~ But to Summer, Winter, Fall, Spring, I miss every snowflake, every bloomed flower, and every fallen leaf. The fallen leaf's filled with grief~ A bloomed flower filled with the scent of relief~ Snowflakes as though they bring joy and beauty in this wicked world, can melt just like my past between the rising and setting sun~
8: ~At the end of the dock~ Current mood:calm I stand at the end of the dock~ With the wind ripping around my body, my feet held down with a chain and lock~ With know way to turn around or fall forward~ I have much time to think~ Time to think about my life, tears falling down my cheeks it seems like I'd need a drink~ The once shallow lake below the dock lefted up to float~ Time goes by slowly standing amongst my tears, screaming wouldnt help it would just hurt my throat~ | So with time and patience I watch the world change, my family, my friends, even me~ To watch, sometimes makes me want to fall to my knee's~ To see the best is worth the wait, to see a child born before my eye's, those are the best tears~ My tears, my happiness, my sadness, my fears~ So with time will I be free~ Is he out there, will he have the key~
9: ~They were my angels~ Current mood:disappointed I walked out of hell, and walked outside to sooth my mind~ I set amongst mother natures beauty, I let her forces take over and become blind~ Why the lies I ask myself~ WHY, WHY, WHY~ As it starts to rain, my tears fall to its smphony~ I look to the once still lake now being shattered by the piercing rain~ It makes my mind feel so drained~ So many questions unanswered~ | So many reason to burst into the door and ask why~ But I decide to stay outside amongst the rain and cry~ To shred the happiness, and laughs into pieces~ Not their laughs, not their smiles, they are my releases~ They are my happy tears, they are the rain when it sprinkles~ When its warm outside and you can find a child within those soon to be wrinkles~ They were heaven~ When my life was hell~ They were my angels~ When I felt like a dark angel~ Evil crept into their lifes, taking away what matter most~ Evil lost when are father arrose~
10: ~I cant control my destiny, I trust my soul, my only goal is to just be. Theres only now, theres only here~ ~Dont waste your life with unshed tears, let things go, let your soul heal and life your life without lies or pain~ My Own Quote ~The moon rises with radiance.. As I awaken to the sent of mortal skin.. My eyes turn to black with desire and hunger.. You are my everlasting sin.. Beneath the rayes of the moon.. Fangs glistening through the night.. Longing to give you eternal love.. With one single and passinate Bite..~ ~ In my dreams I can have what sets me free, I can fly away from my sorrows, and I can run towards my happiness. Its the one place I can control, cause in the real world you dont get what you want, or what you need. Your life is never your own...~ My Own Quote... | ~Beautiful moon that shines so bright, please be my loving guide tonight... Shine on those that I love so dear, protect them in every way I see clear. Bring your rays down upon their shoulders and lift them above the winter decay. Bring spring into there lives once again, the beauty of earth, the beauty of the moon... | I wish God gave us the ability to flip though the memories of time, our past but never the future. But I see his purpose not to give such a gift, cause to be there, to remember such things, to charish, or to forgive or forget. It gives our hearts time to either heal or gives us a reason to really live, to make a million more... | Our heart is the most precious jewel known to the human soul. It's gives us reason to believe beyond ourselves, and believe in the hearts of others. I believe in my heart, I believe in my soul.. For it pure with truth, But it maybe wicked in ways. But I'm okay with being a angel with a hallow and horns...
11: ~~Day by Day~~ .Sometimes Life is like flying with broken wings~ With pain rippling though yourself that only you can control~ Peices of darkness leaking out behind the shadows with vivid strings~ Life can become a black hole~ Im not the perfect person but nore am I for evil~ But how do I describe a feeling so pure~ Thats full of life itself~ But how can I be so sure~ I'm I truly myself~ | I see light in that heart, but should I trust that heart~ But who says that I should let mine be ripped apart trying~ I question if my head is as smart~ Cause if I let my heart open theres a chance I would just end up crying~ I will live day by day and hope for the best~ Thats all I can hope for in life I quess~ I will let my heart rest~ And maybe life wont become a mess~ .
12: ~My Heart held in those hand's~ May 9th, 2011 Sometimes in life we put our hearts in the hands of others~ And sometimes that hand becomes pure evil and your heart starts to shrivel~ To be smothered~ To be smothered of love~ Of anything that mattered most in life itself~ At one point love of that hand fit like a glove~ But as life turns and things change another hand appears within reach of that heart~ For some reason wither it be fate or destiny, the blood started to flow back though the decaying vains~ Its like that hand should have held the heart from the start~ No more decayed, no more pain~ The heart is held by another, but to wait maybe the greatest sacrifice~ To really be held truly within those hands, within those arms, to be held in the rain~ The heart will wait~ I will wait~ Until he comes along and truly loves me for me~ . | I want to walk with you in the twilight... I want to exist for you in the moon light. To breathe you in like air, the only thing that is pure in this world.. I believe in you, I see you. For you could be the brightest sun, or the darkest shadows, and you would be as perfect as I see you now... Why is it I care so much, its a question that my heart seems to hold secret. It tells me to be patient... | Clouds may cover the beauty of the sky, but the world has to cry once in awhile. To bring beauty back to a once decaying land. For to cry doesn't always bring back what is once lost or gone. It does let the world know it has a soul, that we have a soul... Goodnight everyone And to the ones thats past we haven't forgotten you, for we love you still and always will. R.I.P to the ones we still hold dear..
13: ~Vampire~ May 11, 2011 Blood flows from vain to vain~ I lie my head on your shoulder, as though I have something to gain~ Excitement ripples though my body~ I smell what is already mine~ I have more reason to take you cause there is no scent of my bloodline~ We lay together for awhile under the star filled sky, under the moon above~ Can this be real love~ You have no reason to fear me cause you know what I am~ Your humun, I am vampire, your blood held back from me like a skin dam~ Your love for me will soon be for an eternity~ For it is with you I take great safty~ I kiss the neck of my beloved and take blood with that same kiss~ You once asked me to take what no one else could, I have taken my mortal love to live forever with my immortal love~
14: ~Silent Heartbeat~ June 29, 2011 12:00 am Twilight has set upon the earth~ I awake to the rebirth~ Of a new night, another chance to take you within my immortal arms~~ You see me as I am~ Even though I see myself as part of the damned~ Blood is the pollution of my mind, but you are the love of my life~ We meet in the moon light upon the beauty of the grandest river~ And as I walk into your arms I feel you shiver~ You shiver not of fear, but of love and desire~ | V A M P I R E
15: For love is the reason death has not consumed your heart~ For that heart was my start~ My beginning~ My reason to hold such warmth within such cold arms~ For my heart is cold, and silent, but when your holding me close, I have a heartbeat~ A reason to live for an eternity~ For you will soon live it with me my love, my life~ And though that heartbeat will stop and become silent as well, I will still hear that heart within my darkened soul~ | A K H
16: ~Dead Shore Water washes against the shore~ I feel so cold to the core~ Standing amongst the deadest of places~ I'm so glad I'm in your graces~ Hand's held tightly with a lovely embrace~ Something scaring us but it leave no trace~ But as long as your beside me I'll stand amongst my greatest fears~ I'll be brave and shed no tears~ And if a tear excapes and makes it down my cheek I know you'll be there to wipe it away~ ~Wrote at work never finished 1-13-11~ . | Shadow You tend to be by yourself, but you love to be around people. You feel the need to protect those around you. When Threatened you dont defent, just wait silently for their attack. You feel at home in the darkness. You are misunderstood, and at first glance some might think you are a bad person, or mean, but your heart is pure. People have a hard time looking in your eyes, your gaze is intnce and they feel as if your burning through their soul. Those who know you love you, but any are afraid when your angery.
17: The poems may be sad but no Im not such a depressing person It's just a outlet for me. I love my family I love my friends and thats what life is about... | One Pulse 2011
18: ~Quotes~ ~The blood that runs though my vains runs thick and pure. It shows every emotion, every ounce of anger, of sadness, and of happiness. With that blood I strive for my dreams, my life, my family, my friends. Cold hearted, pure hearted I love you all dearly.~ ~One day I will daringly pull out the stiches sewn into my own heart... Sewn to keep out every ounce of pain, of betrayal that once ripped it open. Maybe then I can learn how to truly trust and love someone...~ ~Beautiful snow please surround my life, gentally fall amongst this wicked world and bring back peace and joy. Glistening lights to guide my way, cause the moon has gone away. Winter is here, but not to stay...~ ~Let the snow fall to the earth, and cover up everything in sight. Let it bring joy, and occasion to everyones life. Bring family together once again to experience the love of Christmas... to see the smile of the children in our life's, to know that at least they carry out once upon joys, our imaginations. They are our real christmas.~ ~What is Christmas? It is tenderness for the past, courage for the present, hope for the future? For me it is all three, to my family here, to my family there ,may all three be present in your life. I love you all very very much. May all your christmas wishes come to in some form or another. And to the evilest of ones this season, may you get coil.. PEACE...~
19: ~As I look to the sky, I realize your looking at the same moon, I feel as though you are there when my eyes are closed, as I breathe in the cool winter air. As my senses reach far and wide you are there, you are there...~ ~What is replacable in life? Is it just a priceless object, a person? Everything given is priceless wether it be a gift, or love itself. Cherish life, cherish the people in it, life doesnt last forever, if your welling to give up on someone, or something your only giving up on yourself... WrItTeN bY me, MYSELF, and I...~ ~I dont live up to the criteria to be the devils spon. Its within my blood yes but my heart strives for the perfect moments in life. The moments when I can look at something wither it be the moon or the stars and believe that there is such things as love, and forgiveness...~ ~To my best friend you are my past, you are my future, without you where would I be today, or even tomorrow. I couldnt live without you nore would I want too. You keep my sanity in check. Id go crazy without someone to laugh with, someone to cry with... Not only family, but sister, alway my rootbeer, always my best friend..~ ~Why do I dream the way I do? Its like Im so scared to lose what I have already lost.. I wish to dream of the present, the laughter, the love within what I have now. I love the imagination I have within me, to jump over the highest tree and feel so free.. To become what I can't and never will but enjoy the possiblities of it.. So tonight I hope to dream the storms of my will...~
20: For I wish I could live a eternity in the leaf's of Autumn... To watch the eternal moon brighten what is pure and simple. What has been and what could be. And as the breeze takes whats is left of the season, what is left of me... Cause there is no eternity for me, only a eternity of the most beautiful leaf, and the eternal moon.
22: I cannot live without my life, I cant live without my soul. Heathcliff The stillness was perfect, not like the calm before the tempest, but like the clear night untouched by even the dream of a storm. Eclipse God gave us memories so that we can have the roses of June in the December of our lives. James Barrie Love is a symbol of eternity. It wipes out all sense of time, destroying all memory of a beginning and all fear of an end. ~Author Unknown Every word is like a piece of my soul written on to a piece of paper... To give that much takes much more courage then most people know... Writting each emotion, each pain, each smile... But to give everything within... Only one person, will ever have my heart, my soul, and when he comes along he can write the poem of my eternity... Amanda Hall
23: How can I describe the perfect moment. Not of love, friendship, happiness, sadness, but of nothingness. How one thunderstorm, and the perfect breeze make me feel perfect. Like everything in my life from pain, to hate never existed. Like at that one moment with a sunset in front of me and the dark approaching from behind me I could feel so free. So beyond any feeling that has poured out of my heart. Was it the water that set perfectly below me or the breeze that crossed my face that took it all from me. How could something so simple, so common take away feeling. Take away my pain, my sorrows, everything. But after I took that single breathe it all came rushing back. Everything I loved, everything that kept me sane and peaceful. And at that moment I realized why I felt free. Cause life was perfect and the breeze, that warm Michigan breeze was my only moment of freedom. "To hard to write in a poem form" "Still to hard to perfectly describe"
24: I have several other poems and quotes that I could have put in this book.. But I put the most available ones. Like I said though these poems are when I feel like writing them, they are something I enjoy doing. They seem to come to me when I am doing nothing. When I'm looking at nature and its beauty, or just spending time with family. Yes I could write about the good in my life but for me it becomes much more difficult to write. I would also like to say this poems and quotes are not in order they are from different dates. Any where from 2009 to 2011. But I would also Like to thank everyone in my life, from my family, to my friends. Without you I wouldn't be the person I am today. So this book is dedicated to you.. With love from me. | "I don't try to be anyone I'm not, I choose to love who I love. Care who I care for, and hate who I please. I'm not a two sided coin. No one can flip me over and hope to change me cause Ill change when my heart feels that feeling, see's the best within things, within people. Their isn't very many people who can truly say they knowing me. But to the ones who do, you have a part of my heart in your hands. And your lucky."
25: ~Dhampir~ 10-24-09 If it was real~ I would take the deal~ Sell my soul~ For eyes of gold~ Knowing I would spend an eternity thirsting for a liquid so pure~ Eye's so red I'd rather eat the dear~ But to lose them all would be my human fear~ Knowing there would never be away to release my tears~ Would I really find what I'm looking for in a lifetime~ Cause life can end at the drop of a dime~ Cause I'm a silly human and there is no such thing as an eternity~ "Yes I like the twilight series sue me" | ~Drink it up~ 2-14-09 Drink it up~ Lets party~ Lets get fucked up~ Drink out sorrows out of a cup~ So we'll feel no pain~ Cause the drink will take the pain~ Flooded vain's full of poison~ Flooded eye's~ Will now have time to dry~ Sorrows taken far away~ Where they lay to rest in decay~ Spinning thoughts run though the mind~ But at least they are full of fun they seem to be kind~ Until the poison runs out and they are mine~
26: Sadness ripples though my body, as though someone has thrown a stone through my heart... Blood ripples back though my past, change ripples though my future. For sadness can't last forever, nor a eternity... It will only control you it you let it, for I will not. Happiness is the key to the heart.. ~ Dedicated to you... Kayla
28: ~Fight for Blood~ August 18, 2011 Anger was created in my blood~ All this revenge has created a flood~ A flood full of pain, sadness, and hate~ Blood has pushed me this far~ They are the angels within reach of the stars~ They are the reason I peacefully stand hold of my anger~ While the darkness spreads like cancer~ Anothers soul full of darkness and destain~ And pure evil~ For the evil that is within such vains~ All it does is spread pain~ Creates a big huge drain~ For it to catch the love it doesnt have~ Pure evil will never see what could have been~ It cant even see within~ But this dark angel is okay with that~ I dont want to fight this war, but Ill gladly stand in combat~ To fight for blood, not evil~ | ~The Bane Of Life~ September 1, 2011 Pain rushes though this lifeless vains~ Blood drops like rain~ Darkness of another kind controls this cold heart~ A word of sacrifice for my art~ Maybe to see, to hear what is within a soul is a curse~ The bane of life~ The bane of life~ Where is the good within~ Maybe someday I'll raise above all the sin~ Take a heart so cold and let it become a heart of gold~ And bring a better art of truth, instead of a art filled of mold~ Let truth guide me though my pains~ Let my eyes rain~ To hold nothing back, to hold nothing in~ A heart full of the blood made by love~ And with just a shove~ Love will someday be there to peel back the darkness~ ~This is what happens when I listen to Sad piano music lol... Just a poem, just my art.~
29: ~My SeReNiTy~ September 9, 2011 As life comes together piece by piece, we all make our sacrifices~ We all challange one another for a piece of happiness~ Enduring the price of pain, and hardship that comes with it~ Shall we have to bare sadness~ Should we all give up and quit~ Some words mean nothing in the eyes of others~ To quit, would be harder in my eyes~ But I'll hold on to my secrets, the lies~ A future that is yet unknown still waits out amongst the abyss~ Everyday I come closer to reaching among the emptyness into something real~ | Something that makes since and brings clarity~ Pulling back the veil~ To the unknown~ I will not postpone~ To jump at life with everything that is within my soul~ A heart filled with love, happiness, joy, sadness, pain~ Cause what would I be without the rain~ I am not bloodless, for the rain is my serenity~
30: ~Whispering Wind~ Her feet walk plank to plank~ Is it because at the end of that dock is where his heart sank~ Sank to the depths of insanity~ It lings with such vanity~ Where in that soulless body can she find his humanity~ But to the end of that dock she walks~ Is it to search for whats missing within~ Can she reach down and grab what is close and so pure~ A liquid so still, it could have been her sheded tears, it's so thin~ Her heart is the cure~ Give him your heart says the whispering wind~ Give him your soul says the clouds above~ And we shall part once again and leave him with love~ For his heart is broken, torn, it is no more~ And this they swore~ To give your heart is true love~ April 5th, 2011
31: Pictures I've taken !!!
32: "For they are young, but they are well loved by there big sister. I would give the world for them. To look over the past, smile or shed a tear, I'm a sister split between two loving families, I'm not yet use to that fact but I hope someday each one will be able to love me for what I did, and not mad at me for what I couldn't."
33: I'm so tired it feels so late... Another day gone by, yesterday full of what could have beens, and what happened's... But another day will begin and I'll have the chance to do what wasn't done yesterday... Sweet dreams to the ones who deserve happiness, for to dream is like living in another soul. | Autumn is the one time of the year when I feel like I could truly breathe... Moonlight dancing amongst the burning of the leaf's... No heat but your body near mine. So calm is the night sky. To breathe, to feel more then just the insanity... To be near you and you alone would be the perfect Autumn Night ........
34: Always remember life is about family, and friends. And always love, and friendship.
35: My heart is not silent for every beat there's a verse... | Made 2011