S: A DUCK STORY
BC: Written and created with love, by Troy Hone. The best father anyone could ask for. | We all love you dearly, Love your family.
FC: A DUCK STORY
1: Once upon a time, in a beautiful northern land, far, far, away, on an enchanted golf course....
2: Lived a fair and feathery, but not so smart, mallard momma duck that needed to build a nest to lay her eggs... | She found a quaint home next to the enchanted golf course with a very nice yard, and found some alluring bushes in the front yard, that were apparently conducive to nesting ducks. | The red arrow indicates where the nest was built. The yellow arrow indicates the busy sidewalk next to the bushes conducive to nesting ducks. Did I mention this momma duck is not so bright? (Quaint home's yard is only very nice one day of the year.)
3: Next to this busy sidewalk, that was next to the very nice yard, which was next to the quaint home, which was next to the enchanted golf course, this fair and feathery, not so bright momma duck, laid 7 perfect eggs in a perfect little circle. | As the story goes, in this quaint home lived 2very cute children, who discovered these 7 perfect eggs, in a perfect little circle. They were so excited by their discovery that they had to share it with 7 of their closest friends, who then told 7 of their friends about these 7 perfect eggs, who then told 7 of their friends... you get the idea. Then wouldn't you know it, within about 7 hours of this discovery the entire population of the northern land came to know of the whereabouts of this nest.
4: When asked if they had told anyone about the eggs, the response was, "Hmmm. Let us think." Said the suspicious children. "Nope we didn't tell ANYONE !" They said innocently, not looking their father in the eyes. | So northlanders near and far came from all across the land to start watching the momma duck and her eggs. So many people kept scaring the mother duck away from her nest so many times throughout the day that she finally abandoned the nest. "Oh no!" said the 2 cute children. The momma duck has left her eggs all alone. Whatever shall we do!?"
5: The father of these 2 cute children was a very handsome, intelligent father with several bright ideas. "I have an idea!" said the father. "We can take these 7 perfect duck eggs into our quaint home, do some extensive Internet research and hatch them ourselves!" | "Oh I don't know." said the worried children. What if the momma duck comes back, wouldn't she miss her eggs? What other brilliant ideas do you have?" the cute children asked their charming, loving father.
6: "I know!" said the wise father. "I could eat them for breakfast!" | "NOOOO!!" Cried the cute children. "Please don't eat them for breakfast!"
7: "I could crack them on the cute girls little head! That might be fun!" | "NOOOO!!" cried the cute children. (strangely changing outfits all through this conversation.) "Please don't crack them on the cute girls little head!!"
8: "Then rescue them we shall, lest the evil Magpies in the northland devour them." proclaimed the noble father. | Since the entire population of the northlanders knew of the situation, and the rescue plan, one of them was kind enough to donate an incubator. So after 15+ minutes of intense Internet duck research, the keen, resourceful father set the incubator to 99.5 degrees to percolate these 7 perfect eggs into 7 perfect ducklings... And what do you know... Out hatched a baby duckling.
9: A perfectly cute baby duckling, | One by one all 7 of the perfect eggs hatched into 7 perfectly cute baby ducklings. SHH their sleeping. | Once all of the ducklings were hatched, the cute children asked "What shall we do with them now?" And the wise enlightened father replied "I guess we should teach them how to grow into big ducks and live on their own over on the enchanted golf course. (Cute boy pictured here is way tired of his dad telling him how to pose.)
10: "I will teach them how to be strong even while wearing princess nightgowns!" said the cute girl. "And I will teach them how to win soccer medals and make silly faces and show them safe places to lay their eggs instead of people's front yards!" said the cute boy. | "I will also show them how to make fake boogers hang out of their noses to get a cheap laugh!" giggled the cute boy. And how to do sweet bounce house stunts, of course!
11: "And when they are strong, I will show them to do the 'Boom Boom Fiyapower!' pose from the Night at the Museum 2 movie!" voiced the cute girl. | I will also teach them the proper way to apply lipstick!
12: So with some sun and some fresh air... | 2 cute kids to watch after them and a pool to swim in...
13: Some grass to eat bugs off of... | A cement patio to eat ants off of...
14: A garden tub filled with bread crumbs... | A pool slide for flight training...
15: A Barbie jet for intermediate flight training... | A shower in the kitchen sink to simulate flying in the rain. (They actually really like this).
16: A cute girl to run around the house with one in her skirt to simulate turbulent, advanced flight training... | Some swimming practice...
17: And more swimming practice... | These perfect ducks will grow...
18: And grow...And what happens to them next, we'll let you know.