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S: Colloquial Companion

BC: Taraxacum Officinale Press 2010

FC: J. Littleguy’s Colloquial Companion Narrative by W. Maurice Little

1: To Dad with love

2: William Cornell Little (Dorcas Liggett) William Little (Elizabeth Worley) John Little Harry Drew Little (Inez Garfield) (Grace Garfield) Bill Amy Grace Maurice John (Ione) (Elmer (Zella Guy) (Alberta) Kinderdick) Gene Harry (Helen) (Peg) Evelyn (Ray Foster)

3: Samuel G. Garfield (Elizabeth Emory) Maurice Emory Garfield (Ella Elnora Wyman) Grace Inez Bernice Russell (Harry Little) (John Little) (Bobby Boyd) (Olga) Maurice Little (Zella Guy) James Drew Little (J. Littleguy) (Margaret Gail Warren) Brenda Janetta Little Cynthia (Darrell Williams) Brett Nancy Timothy

4: John Neuborn Guy (Mary Francis Arnold) | John Dabney Brummel (Emma Virginia Lofton) | Mabel Ara Brummel | James Henry Dee Guy | 1. Leta Iantha | 2. Zella Elsie (William Maurice Little) | 4. Enid Eloise | James Drew Little (Margaret Gail Little) | Janetta Jo Little (Darrell Williams) | 3. Marvin Gilmor 5. Oma Dee | 6. James Callan | 7. John Eugene

5: James Drew & Margaret Gail Little | Brenda (Steve Finch) | Cindy | Nancy (James Craven) | Nathan Samuel Michael | James e | Kathy Jackie | (Terry Cousins) | Austin Samantha | J. Littleguy

6: "Hullo, J." | "Hullo yourself and see how you like it."

7: Colloquial Contents Dictionary Quizzicals Curious Sayings | Narrative by W. Maurice Little Brenda Finch and Nancy Craven, Editors Copyright 2010 by Taraxacum Officinale Press

8: Little Guy's Dictionary

9: Anaphlegestine n. Established remedy for *Hybocompucus. Taken by spoon, with tongue in cheek. | "You look like death warmed over." "Must have been the sauerkraut soup." “Take this. It's good for what ails ya.”

10: Blather v. To speak foolishly or nonsensically at length; to palaver. | Zella Little, Alberta & John Little, Evelyn & Ray Foster

11: "I'm going to bed... it's almost midnight." "It's 9:30." "That's what I said. It's almost midnight." | J7

12: Blue-nosed snit n. A reactionary fit of temper, frequently thought to be unwarranted by objective observers. Allusion to vein-popping rage. syn. PURPLE CONNIPTION FIT “My mom sent me to the drug store for some medicine one morning after the doctor had been to see one of my younger brothers. Mr. McCollister, the druggist, had just remodeled his store and had installed a soda fountain. He sat me down and squirted some red fuzzy liquid out of one of the spigots into a glass. ‘Drink this while I get your medicine.’ ‘I don’t want to,’ I told him. He replied gruffly, ‘Drink it down!’"

13: “I swallowed down the concoction; and it came back up through my nose and made me cry. When I took the medicine home and handed it to my mother, she asked, 'What’s the matter with you?’ I told my mother that I was drunk; that Mr. McCollister had given me liquor and made me drink it. Mom gave me a dose of Castor Oil and put me to bed. She was fit to be tied by the time my dad got home, and she jumped on him with both feet. [My mom was in a real blue-nosed snit.] ‘You go down and swear out a warrant for the arrest of that man!’ she said. ‘Anyone who would make a child drink liquor should be in jail.’ The more my dad laughed, the madder Mom got. He had a terrible time explaining that the red fuzzy liquid was not an alcoholic drink and that I would be fine just as soon as the Castor Oil was done.”

14: Caddywampus adj. Misaligned, not square; discombobulated. In disarray or disorder. | "This place sounds like the House of the Screaming Meemies ... and you look like the 'Wreck of the Hesperus!' Good day with the kids?"

15: Harry Drew Little

16: Catterwall v. To cry, screech, or whine loudly; to escalate a bellyache. “My brother Gene never cried or seemed to get too upset about things; he always tried to handle whatever life passed out to him. [He didn't take much to catterwalling.] One day, we started to town in the old spring wagon. The rear wheels of the wagon were so warped and crooked that the whole thing swayed back and forth when hitched to a team of horses. Since Gene was the youngest, he was put in the back end of the wagon. He never complained or cried, so we forgot about him.

17: We were nearly to town when we discovered that Gene wasn't in the wagon. We turned around and headed back along the road, a pair of ruts made by wagons and horses. After a mile or so of backtracking, we met Gene walking in one of the ruts. He wasn't crying...just rambling along! [Any of the rest of us might have been catterwalling to beat the band, but not Gene.] | Maurice, John, Gene, & Harry Little

18: Comeuppance n. The deserved retribution or penalty for an action or comment. The neighbors to the south were putting a new roof on their house, and some of the old tar paper had blown into our yard. We had a super sling shot made out of rubber bands tied to a forked branch of a tree. In order to make ammunition for the slingshot, we bored holes in some old bricks and used them as molds for hot lead. We melted the lead by burning the tar paper, which, of course, made lots of smoke and smelled terrible. Somehow, we always needed to make more ammunition whenever the nosy neighbor across the alley to the north had her wash hung out on the line to dry. [She got her comeuppance for swearing out an arrest warrant on us a few months earlier.] *See darn’d ol’ heifer

19: Crunchberry n. Myofascial trigger point; a muscle knot caused by muscle spasm. Massage therapy, while somewhat uncomfortable, is a helpful treatment modality for this condition. “How’s it feel now?” “Pretty good, Grandpa.” “Pretty and good?” “Nope. Just pretty good."

20: Darn’d ol’ heifer n. Uncomplimentary term used to describe a meddling female. “We brought our cow and calf with us when we moved into town for the school year. One Saturday spring morning after the grass had started to green, Mom told us to take the calf out and tie him with a lariat rope to the corner post. This we did. The calf looked around and, thinking he was free, started to run. Coming to the end of the rope, he turned a flip-flop and landed with his back on the ground. He got up, ran in the opposite direction, and again landed squarely on his backside. We laughed and enjoyed the spectacle for a few minutes; then we went off to other business.

21: An hour or so later, the sheriff knocked on our door. I hate to do this, Grace, but I have a warrant for the arrest of your boys for abuse and cruelty to dumb animals.’ It seems that a nosy neighbor had observed the calf episode and had sworn out the warrant. After hearing our explanation, however, the sheriff tore up the document and went on his way. The entire family was disgusted [with that darn’d ol’ heifer across the alley], and we kids did not forget."

22: Dunlop's disease n. A common physical condition in which the abdominal region extends out and over the waistband or belt. | "My belly dun lops over my waist."

23: John Little, Cousin Bill Little, Maurice Little, Gene Little, Harry Little

24: Gazinta v. Term representing the arithmetical process of division. “Have you learned your gazintas?” “Huh?” “You know: 2 gazinta 4 two times, 4 gazinta 12 three times, and so on that way. ...So have you learned your gazintas?" “Yep.”

25: Gomheels n. A term used to make fun of a particularly clumsy or ungraceful move. "Gomheels." "I resemble that remark."

26: Grandpa glop n. A dish consisting of stir fried vegetables, canned tomatoes, pinto beans, rice, and cheese; the meal of choice after a long day of travel. Best served with homemade bread. | "Better than a jab in the eye with a sharp stick.”

27: Hybocompucus n. Disease of unknown etiology, in which diagnosis is primarily determined by a positive response to *Anaphlegestine, the prescribed systemic cure. Alternative therapy: Castor Oil | "How are ya mostly?" "I'm beautiful" | Ella Elnora Wyman 1857-1940

28: Like the dickens adv. phrase A derivation of like the devil, meaning “like mad” or “like crazy.” Used by preachers and older individuals who do not wish to be caught cursing. “Our black mare Minnie came into the corral one day with a new sorrel colt. Grandpa named her Peewee. After Peewee had grown and become tame, we thought that it would be fun to hitch her up to a wagon. My brother John, my cousin Bill, and I worked for days in the “shanty” with straps and rivets taken from Grandpa’s shelves until we had fashioned a harness and a pair of shafts for our little red wagon. We fitted Peewee to the new harness and halter without incident, since by this time she was very tame and patient.

29: One day while our dads were gone on a roundup and Grandpa was taking a nap, we led Minnie the mare out into the corral and tied her to the farm wagon; then we harnessed her colt to our little red wagon. Bill took the lines and sat in front of the little wagon. I got in behind him and wrapped my legs around his waist. John hopped in facing the back. After a jerk on the lines and a shout, the colt took off [like the dickens]. She circled around Minnie and the big farm wagon, squealing and making a terrible racket. Minnie was excited and tried to get loose from the wagon, pulling it around and around the corral. John was thrown out on the first round, and after a few more rounds Bill and I were airborne part of the time. Eventually, the shafts broke from the little red wagon and we rolled over into a pile of manure. It didn’t take Grandpa long to come out of the house to see what was causing all of the noise and racket. We expected a real tanning, but all that he said was, ‘It’s a shame that a fellow can’t have anything around here without someone wanting to work it.’ I think that he was tickled about the episode and had a hard time not laughing.”

30: Pantywaist n. One complaining of cold at temperatures above 35 degrees Fahrenheit. May also suggest a lack of courage, perseverance, or fortitude. Sometimes used in conjunction with creampuff. . | Elizabeth Worley Little 1842-1910

31: Peewaddin' n. A term meaning the dickens, as in "to scare the peewaddin'" out of someone. . | John, Mom, and I started a family music trio to play at various public gatherings. Mom played the piano, John played the trumpet, and I played the clarinet. On one occasion, we were driving into town for a performance when the old Ford quit. We were too late to walk to town on the road, so we decided to cut across Mr. Pupmire's pasture. We knew that he had an unfriendly bull in that pasture, but we hoped that we could cross safely without notice. We were nearly to the opposite fence when the bull heard us and came charging. John and I both jumped the fence, but we worried that Mom wouldn't be able to outrun the animal and get to safety. [It scared the peewaddin' out of the both of us.] Mom grabbed up her skirts and hurdled the fence as easily as we did. Then she calmly turned and said, 'You guys didn't think I could do that, did you?'"

32: Pityrosporum ovale n. A fungus which attacks the sebaceous glands on the scalp, face, and upper part of the body. May cause itching and dandruff. . | "How's your liver?" "Fair to middlin'." | Harry Drew Little

33: Ella Elnora Garfield 1857-1940

34: Purple conniption fit n. A blue-nosed snit. “Our teacher read us a story about Africa and about big game trapping. She read how the natives captured elephants and other wild animals by digging pits along the game trails and carefully concealing the pits with twigs, straw, and other forest trash. Well, we decided that was a pretty good idea. We thought about what we could catch and where to place a trap. We finally decided to dig a hole right in front of the door where Dad led his horses in and out of the barn. The pit we dug was about a foot wide, a foot deep, and about two feet long. We covered it with sticks, straw, and manure so that it matched the ground all around it. We were washing up for supper when my dad came home from work. In a few minutes he came to the house on a run. He burst into the kitchen, madder than a wet hen, demanding, ‘Where are those kids?’ Mom turned around and started to laugh. The more she laughed, the madder Dad got. [In fact, he had a full-blown, purple conniption fit.]

35: When Mom handed him a mirror, though, he started to laugh. His hat was crosswise; it was crushed down on his head and covered with manure. His shirt was wet, and the rest of his clothes were dirty and rumpled as well. Even his hands were covered with manure. We were encouraged with our success as trappers, so we decided to build our next pit in front of the outhouse door. My uncle avoided the trap on his way in, but he stepped into it on the way out. He remarked that it was a good thing that he had missed the hole as he went in!” | J7

36: "Where ya headed?" "Down yonder to the outhouse." "Any particular reason?" "Uh..." "Well hold your horses here and take a gander at my new pocket knife." "But I've gotta go!" "Well, hurry every chance you get."

37: Grace and Harry Drew Little

38: Razz v. To tease or deride. Grandpa Little taught us how to shoot and load a ten gauge shot gun. One day, while we were de-horning cattle, we decided to take a break for some target practice. My cousin Bino, the oldest and biggest, took the first shot and missed the target, a gallon bucket placed on the seat of our mower. I took the next shot, and I missed too. When my younger brother John took his turn, he sent that bucket rolling. Uncle John and my dad got a great kick out of razzing Bino and me for letting the little guy get the best of us. Another round brought the same results: Bino and I missed, and John hit the mark. By this time we had figured out that Dad and Uncle John were not putting any buckshot in the loads we were using while they were loading John’s shells with shot. ‘We’ll get even,’ said Bino as we took the gun back to the house.

39: At our first opportunity we loaded several shells clear full: first we put in a new primer, then a full measure of black powder, then a wad, then a measure of shot, then another wad. We loaded the shotgun with two of those shells and returned it to its place over the door. The next day, a hawk made a dive at one of Mom’s chickens. When Uncle John fired at the hawk, the extra load in the shells knocked him flat onto his back. I don’t remember what he said, but Bino reminded hi,m, ‘Dad, you asked for that yesterday!’” | Grace and Harry Drew Little

40: Three quarter inch putty n. In construction, a fabricated fix used to fill the gap between two boards which are misaligned. | "Dagnabit! If that just doesn't beat the band! This dadgummed board is caddywampus. Go fetch me the 3/4 inch putty." | ". . . that's betterful."

41: Whisker v. To rub one's beard stubble against the tender cheek, neck, or belly of a child. | William Cornell Little 1785-1851

42: Wrangabu n. A reclusive, cloven hoofed mammal of the genus turnicus insaidauticus, which has so effectively adapted to its Rocky Mountain habitat that the legs on one side of its body are longer that those on the other. The animal simply turns itself inside-out when it wishes to reverse its direction.

43: Yerk n. A disciplinary glare perfected by elementary education teachers; useful for wives and mothers. | Amy Grace Garfield Little 1881-1947

45: “Whatcha doin’, J.?” “Just standing here with my teeth in my mouth. "Well, ya make a better door than window." | J7 | James Little with Brenda, Harry Drew Little, and Maurice Little

46: Little Guy's Quizzicals

47: What is Anaphlegestine? a. A condition causing mucus to form in the bronchial passages of the human body b. Legislation touted by leaders of the Anabaptist movement c. Tissue found in certain animal intestines d. Established remedy for Hybocompucus | Answer: d

48: What is a crunchberry? a. An edible Mediterranean fruit with hard, but delicious, skin b. A muscle knot c. A non-soggy breakfast cereal d. An electric "smart car" after collision with another motor vehicle | Answer: b

49: Explain gazinta. a. An alternative to the phrase “Bless you,” used most commonly among East Texas rednecks b. The act of “getting your underwear in a bunch” c. A female stargazer d. A mathematical term e. A trace metal | Answer: d

50: Define gomheels. a. A fungus from phylum anastigomycota, commonly found under the toenails of bipeds b. A homeopathic treatment for heel spurs c. An abbreviated version of "There's gum on your shoe" d. Someone who has just tripped over his own shoestring | Answer: d

51: What is Hybocompucus? a. A branch of Greek philosophy b. A sophisticated abacus developed by the Chinese during the Ming Dynasty c. A disease of unknown etiology d. A computer virus | Answer: c

52: What is a pantywaist? a. A woman who wears a girdle to perfect her figure b. A wimp c. A fraternity initiation d. The seatbelt mechanism in a dune buggy e. A disposable diaper | Answer: b

53: Maurice, Bernice, & Ella Elnora Garfield (front) Russell, Inez, & Grace

54: What is a wrangabu? a. An unusually adaptive cloven hooved animal b. In western lore, a cross between a cowboy and a bison c. A wrestling move d. Caribou-lined jeans, originally marketed under the Wranglers brand | Answer: a

55: Draw your own wrangabu.

56: "How's the pie, kids?" | “Good enough to eat.” "Well, it's good if you like it..." | Jana & Jim Little

57: Little Guy's Curious Sayings

58: One boy is a whole boy. Two boys are half a boy. Three boys are no boy at all.

59: If you want to catch a pheasant, thread a raisin with a piece of string. When it swallows the raisin, reel it in.

60: If you want to catch a fish when the lake is frozen over, cut a hole in the ice, sprinkle a few green peas into the hole, then wait and watch. When the fish comes up to take a pea, hit it with a stick.

61: Firewood heats you four times: Once when you cut it Once when you split it Once when you stack it Once when you burn it

62: What kind of a noise annoys an oyster? A noisy noise annoys an oyster.

63: What's so wide you can't measure it? The wide of an egg. (Now ain't that some yolk?)

64: "..and now I've told you more than I know."

65: "Good golly, you're a dandy! We just wouldn't take for you!"

66: "Bye, now." | "Glad you got to see me."

67: James Drew Little J. Littleguy | Ol' Gramps

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