S: In Loving Memory of Ada
FC: By Mommy | In Loving Memory of Ada
1: How very softly you tiptoed into my world. Almost silently, only a moment you stayed. But what an imprint your footsteps have left upon my heart.
2: Ada Hunter
3: December 4, 2012 | 3 lbs 16 inches
4: Ada Hunter | December 4, 2012 1:00 am | Orem, Utah
5: Making the big announcement | Pregnancy When you were happy and healthy | Ada at 20 weeks | Week 9 | Week 18 | Week 23 | Week 24 | Week 28 | Week 31 Last picture of Ada healthy and strong | Our Family of Four
6: DADDY'S GIRL
7: A Mother's Love
9: Families Are Forever
10: OUR ANGEL ADA
11: You are Loved
12: Funeral Service 12/6/2012
14: OUR LITTLE ANGEL
18: My Dearest Ada, December 12, 2012 The fresh flowers given by loved ones are wilting, the food so generously given is fading, and the soft soil covering your little grave is growing cold. Life is somehow supposed to go one, though I'm still not sure how. It has been twelve days since you have left my womb, a little more since your celestial spirit left your beautiful body. I feel as if a part of my heart has left with you. The sorrow and despair of never getting to look into your eyes, hear you cry, smell your fresh newborn fragrance, and feel the warmth of your skin is so great. The heartache is incredible I'm not sure if life can go on, but somehow your big sister Abby gets up happy, your Father has to go to work, and the Christmas bustle continues to encircle me. But I want you to know that I am trying. Everyday I pray that the Lord will help me, uplift me; that I can fake through one more day. That maybe the faking will become reality. I either feel weak and helpless or numb all over. The numbness helps to pretend, to blend in. Through this crucible of my life my faith has been tried, tested, and confirmed. I do know that through the Atonement of Christ I will see you again. I will hold you and tell you I love you. Someday I will look into your eyes, I will smell of your golden hair, feel your warmth, and hear your cries. I will whisper how much I've loved you ever since you began growing inside of me. Your time on earth was so short- only 33 weeks; but I loved every moment. I find peace in knowing that I was with you every day of your mortal life. You were healthy and happy snugged within me. I want to take this time to write down the memories I have of that intimate time with you, of sharing my body with you, feeling you, and loving you. Your daddy and I were so excited when we found out that we were adding to our family. Your big sister Abby was only ten months old and although at the time the thought of another baby was daunting, the excitement was stronger. I sewed Abby a cute little onesie that said “Big Sister” on it to announce it to family and friends. We were thrilled. I was a little sicker at first with you, Ada than I was with Abby. That could greatly be contributed with having a rambunctious active baby girl to love and care for outside of the womb while trying to care for you inside. We read a lot of stories at that time. I hope you enjoyed them. I also introduced “Baby Einstein” to Abby which has been a favorite ever since. You, Ada, were literally with me when I accomplished a big goal in life. Earlier this year I made a goal of running a half marathon. The race was about four weeks away when I found out I was pregnant with you. I immediately called my doctor, Dr. Judd, and made an appointment. I had been working so hard to prepare for the race but I would drop everything if it jeopardized your health and development. I had a miscarriage at ten weeks before your sister Abby came to us, so I guess I was extra cautious. After visiting with Dr. Judd and doing my own research, I discovered that as long as I drank a lot of water and listened to my body I should be fine; in fact, exercise is really good for pregnancy. Both Brad and I prayed and attended the temple to make sure we felt right about it; and we did. I felt confident that your body would develop properly, that my training would not hinder your growth. So I continued running. We decided not to tell anyone until after the race (except for Grandma and Grandpa Wadsworth of course). I took things at a slower pace, not pushing myself. The day of the race came- nine weeks pregnant. I wish I had a sign that said “Running for two,” especially for my potty breaks that took forever in line. Though I didn't run the entire way I finished in 2:15 and you were with me the entire way, cheering me on. We did it together. Another big highlight was going to our 20th week ultrasound. Of course Brad and I were nervous- really who isn't when they are finding out the health of their baby in addition to the gender. Brad was certain you were a girl and I had gotten those same feelings but that morning I remember being really nervous that you were a boy and that I just really wanted a girl. Then I almost got scared about raising a boy when I really was longing for a girl, especially with you and Abby so close in age. Needless to say, my fears were pointless and I was greatly relieved when the doctor said you would be a girl. Then I thought how I knew all along.
19: On our way home your Dad was the one who said we should call you Ada. We both had grown to love that name, though I was really hesitant on naming you so soon. With Abby both of us knew her name well before we knew we were even pregnant with her. I wanted to feel that confident and sure about your name as well. We kept making lists and reading through them, but Ada always stood out. It took a few weeks but we finally knew Ada would be your name. To really make sure Ada was the right name, I read all I could about your Great-Grandma Ada. She was an incredible women- a daughter of God- a mother of Zion. Yes, I definitely wanted you to grow up aspiring to be like her. Ada was your name, though it took us awhile to confirm what you seemed to always know. We started calling you Ada right away and that made you more real and an actual part of our family. Some people may say that it is crazy to name your baby before you lay eyes on them, but I think that is silly. For Brad and I, you were a part of our family the moment we discovered you would be arriving. You are, and always will be an important vital member of our eternal family and I didn't have to see you to know that. I felt you. I knew you were there and I loved you, oh so dearly. Throughout the pregnancy I always got compliments on how small I looked. You were just a little bump. Dr. Judd said that I was carrying you differently than Abby, more in the back. I also weighed an average of 5 lbs less. Sisters in the ward were shocked when I told them how far along I was. I didn't even break out the maternity shirts until about 28 weeks. One major regret was not taking pregnancy pictures. I was too occupied with Abby, not thinking I looked pregnant enough, or just not thinking it was important. How I wish I had a picture- a good profile of you and me, together. I hope you recognized all of your extended families voices. I know there are a lot of them- Grandpas, Grandmas, Aunts, uncles, and cousins- but they all love you. They all are a part of our family. They all miss you. At 31 weeks we went out and had Thanksgiving with all of your Hunter family. Your Grandma and Grandpa were so excited for you to come. I was working on finishing your stocking there and we all gathered at the dinner table after the kids were in bed and brainstormed on a middle name for you. We had some good and not so good suggestions. Little did we know that your name was complete. Ada- such a simple name for a baby girl who means so much. Of course you heard your Wadsworth family voices, though I'd be surprised if you could identify them all. I hope that you just recognized those voices as people who loved you. Grandpa Wadsworth was excited for you and thrilled that Ada would be your name. For quite a few weeks before you were born he counted you in the number of grandchildren. He told me then that the number changed so often he thought he'd get used to having Ada as the youngest now while he can. Your name was often spoken by him, though he will admit to never calling a unborn baby by their name before you. This is yet another tender mercy how the Lord prepared us to part with you. He helped us actively make you a part of the family while we had you on earth, so that when He called you home your place would be permanent- our angel Ada.
20: There was never a fear or question that you wouldn't make it. Of course, I worried a little, but every mother worries about her little ones whether they are in the womb or out. I bought you some beautiful spring dresses and cute warm winter newborn outfits. I sewed you a stocking to be hung right next to Abby's. I finished this stocking only three days before your birthday. We brought it to the hospital with us to show you. Some moments I look up at it and ache thinking I will never get to fill it with Christmas goodies, or see your bright face on Christmas morning. But I am so grateful to have finished it, even though I thought it silly since you wouldn't be coming until January. The Lord knew I needed to finish it before, that it would be too hard to finish afterwards, and that you were just as much apart of our family as I was or Daddy or Abby. You were our baby girl, sealed to us; and that sealing power was there even if we never got to look you in the eyes for ourselves here on earth. Your Daddy also was inspired to purchase a beautiful tree ornament with each of our family members on it just before you were born- our family of four. I remember telling Brad how it was silly to buy it this year because you wouldn't be here for Christmas. As the inspired man that your Dad is, he said you were still apart of our family whether in my tummy or out. On my way to the hospital to get my stress test both Brad and I felt that it was important that I go but that I would just be turned away. We felt peace. When that horrible moment came when they told me there was no heartbeat, I ached, I pained, I despaired; but deep down the peace was still there. | You were never as active as your sister Abby during the pregnancy, but I did feel you much earlier, around 14 weeks. I oftentimes would have to give you a little push to get you moving. This helped me decipher your gentle and sober nature. Your most active time was usually right before I would go to sleep. I remember lying in bed thinking how you must be doing gymnastics. I remember being so tired but lying there loving every kick and somersault, every nudge or elbow. How I loved being pregnant with you. How I loved feeling you move and knowing that you were happy, knowing that you were safe within me. It was also right before bed your daddy would often talk to you. He would get down low, right up next to my belly and whisper how excited we were for you to come, how you would have to keep up with your sister Abby. He tried to indoctrinate you into thinking he was your favorite. We would sing to you and even read stories to you. Abby loved to sit right on top of you. I would always try to have her feel you move but either you wouldn't cooperate or Abby wouldn't have the patience. We didn't let one day go by that we didn't kneel together and pray for your health and strength. Sometimes I want to doubt that the Lord heard those prayers, but then I remember that you did grow strong and healthy. Your body was perfectly formed and beautiful, but the Lord needed you more than I did. I earnestly pray that you were happy while with us here on earth. I hope you could feel of our love and devotion to you. I hope that you did not have to suffer, that you weren't scared as your cord slowly got tangled. Part of me really hopes that you were a little sad when you left and realized your mortal life was over, before I got to hold you and look into your eyes. Before you got to meet your Dad or big sister. I hope you are happy where you are, but I also hope you miss us even though you were only with us a little while, because we miss you so much- it is unbearable at times. I reflect on how the Lord prepared me for your passing. It was so different than my miscarriage. I wasn't expecting it at all. With my miscarriage I had been worrying from the very beginning. For the few weeks I was pregnant I felt like something was wrong. Though devastating, it was not entirely a shock to me. The fetus was not developing properly and the Lord knew that it would not develop into a proper body for one of His spirits. With you it was different. | Both Brad and I felt so right about you joining our family. You were expected to come at a perfect time in our lives- right at the new year, six months before we were anticipating on going to school. Abby and you would be 18 months apart- perfect for best friends.
21: The Lord had prepared me, He was with me. He had allowed me to cherish the precious time I had with you. To build that intimate relationship with you, without holding you in my arms. He prompted both Brad and I to actively make you a part of our family while you were here physically with us so that when it was time for you to go, your place in our family would be evident. That peace never left us. It held us up in the hospital; it gave me strength to deliver you knowing the outcome. In that delivery, the medication to induce my labor was so effective that the epidural was not in full effect when you came. I am so grateful that was the case because I felt you through the entire process. The pain was so real, I knew you had to be real to. I kept hoping that I would wake up from this horrible nightmare, but it was actually happening and the pain helped me accept that. Immediately after you came, your lifeless body was placed in my arms. There were no tests or procedures that were needed, I just got to hold you. Oh, Ada you had a beautiful body. You were perfect in every way. Your long delicate fingers and cute button nose. You had beautiful blond hair that stood out against your dark skin. Your little delicate mouth was petite with your small cheeks. You were long and slim, “just like a Hunter should be” your Daddy said- 3lbs, 16 inches. You radiated with a celestial glow. Your body had served its purpose. It gave you all the mortal experience you needed. We got to hold you for 21+ hours. Ada, I know you were there in that hospital room | I know you were not the only one from the other side that was with us- holding us up. That day when I got to hold you in my arms, though it was the hardest day in my life, the pain and sorrow of losing you was unbearable, it also was one of the most beautiful sacred days of my life. The veil was so thin. Though I held your little precious body in my arms I knew that your spirit was not there but it was in the room. I felt it, I knew it, and I loved it. Both your father and I know that you are our daughter and we will do all that we can to return to you. Heaven has never seemed this close until now. Ada, I know the Lord will keep you busy doing missionary work up there but I hope you can steal a moment or two to come to our home- as often as you can. We need you so much. I need you, your Dad needs you, Abby and your other siblings need you. Knowing that you are waiting for us, death doesn't seem as daunting; in fact I am looking forward to it. But I know it is still not yet my time and although I long to love and raise you, I have other children I need to love and raise until I get to hold you again. Please know of our endless love, Ada. You will always be a vital part of our family and we will strive each day to be worthy to be your eternal family. I love you more than words can say, Love, Mommy
22: Letter written from Dad while traveling in Asia dated 12/6/2012 Dear Family, I still have the Hunter family on my mind, as I'm sure you do. As we look at the life of Joseph Smith the Prophet, we learned that he lost many of his children to death. Of this he once said, "The Lord takes many away, even in infancy, that they may escape the envy of man, and the sorrows and evils of this present world; they were too pure, too lovely, to live on earth; therefore if rightly considered, instead of mourning we should have reason to rejoice as they are delivered from evil, and we shall soon have them again." (HC 4:553) I suspect that Ada is one such spirit who was just too good to tarry on the earth. As I mentioned earlier, I love the name Ada. Perhaps my grandmother Ada was of a similar spirit. After she raised the prophet of the Lord to adulthood, she then passed at a very young age leaving her five children, including my mother at the tender age of 10. Several weeks ago Angela--with her natural senseless history--shared with me some of her feelings and finding of my grandmother. I feel it appropriate to share these thoughts with you. "Dear Dad, "In contemplating naming our baby girl Ada, I have been drawn to learn more about the life and legacy of Ada Bitner Hinckley. As Ada raised a prophet, Gordon B. Hinckley, it was fairly easy to find some writing on this mother of Zion. Most of the notes that I have gathered come from Mothers of the Prophets by Leonard J. Arrington, Susan Arrington Madsen, and Emily Madsen, of course found within your library. "I have compiled a few notes I hope to keep and share with my daughter in hopes that she will grow up to be like her great-great grandmother Ada. But thought I would share a few of the profound thoughts with you here. "Ada's patriarchal blessing stated, " Thy name shall be perpetuated and live in the memory of the Saints." A little humbling to think that we would be fulfilling, in part, a prophesy in naming a baby girl..........."It was stated that "Ada was the picture of grace, decorum and dignity.....Ada possessed a gentle, generally quiet disposition, but was also quick to laugh....She was the loving helpmate and companion of her husband, seeking as none else could, to forward him in every good he attempted. " "After reading of the life of Ada Bitner Hinckley, both Brad and I feel like this is the rightful name of our daughter. We hope and pray that our little Ada will look to her great-great grandmother and strive to be like her. That her name will live on as a memory of the Saints through her. While reading about Ada, I often thought of grandma Sylvia and how, from what I have heard and learned, resembled so much of her mother's own characteristics. I'm so grateful to be a part of this legacy of faithful women and to be a raised by their son; who, I believe, has demonstrated just as much if not even more faith in his life. I feel so blessed to be able to witness that great faith in my intimate relationship with you. You continue to build and strengthen this family chain of faith with your faithful endurance and love for the Lord. I strive each day to be worthy to be called your daughter and I hope to raise granddaughters that you will be proud to call your own. "I love you so much, Angela" (email Oct. 22, 2012) Now today, we say goodbye to our little Ada. Our little one who is just too pure to be encumbered by the evils of the world. We will miss her smiles, her personality, the great contribution she would give and the joy that she would bring to us here while on this earth. However, we know that we will experience all that she has to offer in the hereafter. She will be waiting for us, even to be our guide as we enter our next sphere. John J. Wadsworth
23: Letter inserts in our Christmas card: Dear Family and Friends, We love you all so much that we wanted to let you know of some unfortunate happenings in our family. Monday afternoon we discovered that our little Ada no longer had a heartbeat. She was 33 weeks along, and growing wonderfully up until that point. We went to the hospital that night, and delivered Ada at 1:00am on December 4th. She weighed 3 pounds, and was 16 inches long. She was perfect in every way. Tall and slim, beautiful blond hair, long delicate fingers, and a cute button nose. She was beautiful. She became entangled in her umbilical cord which caused her to pass. We are very sad for the loss of our little girl, but we are overjoyed that we have a little angel who has already made it. We can't wait to see her again. Love, Brad and Angie | Dedicatory Prayer Given by Bradley Hunter Heavenly Father, by the power of the Holy Melchizedek Priesthood. I dedicate this grave as the resting place of Ada Hunter and ask Thee to hallow it, protect it, and watch over it til the resurrection. We are so grateful for Ada. Grateful that she is part of our family. And give Thee thanks for the priesthood and for eternal families. We ask Thee for these blessings in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
24: her children. Ada's experience here in mortality was brief, but Angie you can still strengthen and nurture her. Even though you are separated by that veil. Heavenly Father is very merciful and promises have been made to parents who grieve at a loss of a little one. They will see that little one again and have the experience of raising that child at a future time. That is heavenly Father's promise, but my personal feeling is that Heavenly Father is not the only one involved in that decision and promise. You have a Heavenly Mother who will make sure that you have that opportunity. As it says in the song, there are roles for fathers and mothers here in mortality, I think that also applies to eternity- that Heavenly Father provides that strength, and Heavenly Mother that nurturing and that care. I'm an avid runner and I went out on a run this morning and I noticed there was some mist that was hovering over the ground, some fog. And I noticed that if I looked straight ahead it was difficult for me to see, but above the mist was the sun. And I noticed that I could not clearly see as I looked outward or forward, but if I looked up, I could see very very clearly. Our mortality is like that, where if we are looking and focusing on what is right in front of us sometimes that vision is murky and we can't see clearly up. If we just look up to that Light we can see very clearly. When I walked into this room I noticed the presence of | Bishop Hank McIntire's Talk: We wish to welcome those who are here, family and friends and those who are joining us via technology who are not able to be here. (Grandpa Wadsworth and Grandma Hunter were joining through IChat on an IPad.) So we are pleased that it is possible so that we can join together as family and friends even in distant locations. What the family has experienced is a hard thing. I don't think anyone would dispute that. Mortality has presented us challenges and opportunities for great joy and at times for difficulty and sorrow. How wonderful it is that we are together. That we can share in the challenges and difficulties and pain that are there. Sometimes we wonder why things happen to us and we don't always fully understand why experiences are given to us in mortality. We don't know the answers to many of those questions. But I hope that we can take comfort in one reality. As taught by Nephi in the Book of Mormon, Nephi was praying and was shown the vision that his father Lehi had received. He was conversing with the Spirit of the Lord as the Spirit of the Lord was showing him different things related to Lehi's dream. And He was showing Nephi the birth of the Savior and the Spirit of the Lord said to Nephi “knowest thou the condescension of God?” And I said unto him, meaning Nephi, “I know the He loveth His children; nevertheless, I do not know the meaning of all things.” (1 Nephi 11:16-17) I would like us to ponder that verse for just a moment and maybe just switch the order of those two statements: “I do not know the meaning of all things, but I know He loveth His children.” There are many things in mortality that we do not understand. But one thing we can count on is that Heavenly Father loves us. That can help us get through even though there are experiences that are hard, whose meaning we do not fully comprehend; we can comprehend the love of God. And we know that in this experience today, that we are all feeling, there is meaning and purpose in it. The understanding of which will come as we trust in that love that Heavenly Father has for us. As we sang, “The Family is of God” I was touched by verses two and three. When it talks about the father's place is to provide and preside, to love and to teach. And a mother's purpose is to care and prepare, to nurture and to strengthen all
25: light. Behind me is a beautiful window, a beautiful scene; we can see the mountains. There is a great deal of light in here. I think Heavenly Father specially ordered this day, so that you could be reminded of that Light, particularly today. Maybe Heavenly Mother had a say in that too. It is my testimony to each of you that because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ the bands of death are broken. Those of you who have studied the English language are familiar with the rules of grammar. Before the Savior came, death was a period. But once he was resurrected it became a comma. Only a pause for other things that will follow after. What a wonderful promise and comfort to know that this experience is temporary. May we each look to that Light to be comforted and reminded that Heavenly Father does love each of His children, even if we don't understand everything that happens to us. May we go forward in faith comforting one another. Knowing that the answers and peace will come. I testify that Jesus Christ lives. That we have a loving Heavenly Father and Heavenly Mother who smile down upon us as we make the choices that will bring us closer to him. I testify of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ, of priesthood authority. That Brad, you will have a chance to offer up a sacred prayer through priesthood power and authority to help that spot be sacred. I hope that you will return regularly to be reminded. Ada has made it. The challenge for us is to catch up with her. Of these things I testify, in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.