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EHSENJAY - Page Text Content

1: you once told me “ You can’t get enough of a good thing. “ that was the day I knew you had potential to be crowned king. at this point in my life you are good for me. it’s uncomplicated ; undefined and that’s the way it’ll be. if or until you decide to take the lead. to string me up and tie me down like an embroidery bead. in your company my mind you ease. and from everything else my attention you seize. she’s your smooth and you’re her mister. had her caught up the first time you kissed her. -can't get enough

2: And I crave your presence. Possibly because most things in me remind me of your essence. I’m slowly becoming what I love. Addicting; selfless; dedicated: all of thee above. you occupy this huge portion of this pie that is me. It’s way more than one four three. You got my back to the full extent. And any individual that tries to come between; I resent. Some use trying as an excuse but baby you succeed. You’re my source of greed. Filled with this joy that is you. Overflowing with this love that you guide me through. You are my sanity. You give me a sense of vanity. So proud to claim you as mine. Ecstatic to know that with you; everything will be just fine. We’ve come so far; and still have so much to gain. You’ve become my sunshine through all the rain. You’re a beautiful soul. And thankfully you make me whole. I may have “game”; but what you have is deadly. Combining me and you like the sweetest medley. You got me wide open and for once I’m not afraid. Like the swat team; on my heart you’ve executed a raid. | Confiscated all things bad and destructive. And replaced them with things that are purely constructive. You’ve redesigned my schema for love. Protected my heart in like your hand in a glove. Your love inspires me. It sets my soul free. Fills me with emotions I’ve never endured. Curing pains I never thought could be cured. You make me feel invincible laughing in the face of fear. And when you’re away; I desire nothing more than to have you near. So many things from you I’ve learned. Entrance into every portal leading to the depths of me; you have earned. And despite the many months that have come and gone; the butterflies still flutter. And with every fiber of my being I meant ever word I utter. At the mere thought of losing sight of this love; makes my soul shutter. Yet; I don’t fear losing you. I feel secure enough to believe we can make it through. And that’s all thanks to you. You are everything that is real and true. You’ve changed my perspective on the challenges I face. No one in this world could ever take your place. Never come close to occupying my heart’s space. Never change our pace. | Ehs.En.Jay

3: you’re truly distinctive. your charm is almost instinctive. so much so like a tween ; I’m crushing. others off my shoulder ; I’m brushing. because you have seized my subconscious and conscious mind. forcing the others out so when I let my mind wander you are all I find. to my surprise. from my spirits you get a rise. bringing my day to life with a simple text. leave me wondering from here ; what’s next. apprehended by the apprehension you supply. all you have in stock ; I’ll buy. because what you have to offer is what I desire. so together lets conspire. to make this into something more. of this attraction I want to get to the core.

5: yeah ; you make me blush. with exhaustion of excitement ; I flush. the intensity of your closeness makes my heart throb. under your siege like I’m surrounded by an angry mob. like a typical prisoner ; I submit to your will. until you let down your guard ; then I move in for the kill. no worries ; you’ll enjoy the burst of activity like a series of flurries. after awhile ; I lose sense of our individuality. it’s as though we merge as one in this alternate reality. I less than three your ways ; I heart this phase. in my life ; it’s free of pettiness and strife. conflict that is ; because I’m far from conflicted. of this accused crime ; in your mind ; I’m convicted. but as long as it means I’m on your mind ; it’s fine ; I’ll take the blame. cop a plea ; and be free to continue spitting you my game.

6: once u started da game I knew for a fact I wudnt back dwn for nothing. I had no intentions at first but u became like a flirting buddy =D lol then instead of settling for =* I wanted a real one n u offered me da opportunity nd said yea whenever u want it.i fell asleep writing this lol ok back 2 where i left off.i dnt remember how it came to me coming over just to chill with you but all i remember it was a girls bball game goin on dat same day and thats when your legacy began =)lol that 1st kiss when my lips felt urs on a anotha level...that led to more talking to even more talking to a WHOLE lot of talking.then i found myself wanting to chill wit u all the time because u made me laugh n smile u eased my mind off da lil petty problems I had. and like every other week u was hitting me with that poetry flow =) those notes was getting to me like crazy lol.i was like damn she just spitting serious game every second she get smh then you started to tell me you miss me n all didnt try to let it get to me at first tried 2 distinguish if it was game or truth so i asked questions to make the best of my assumption to come to a conclusions lol i jus remembered how u used 2 grab nd hold my hand in bartons class when we had 2 watch dem tutorial videos =) all part of that swag u got.then out of da blue barton is asking me if we goin out etc jalisa saying i should ask u out cause she cud c u really like me and even though we was getting into EVERYTHING before 3/11 it just wasnt enough i wanted to wife you up to officially be mines...

7: ...den u hit me with the Reveal str8 deep emotions nd i really didnt kno where i was at da moment so i told you the truth and even though it hurt u which i never intended i rather tell u the truth rather than lie to you...we started spending even more time then I started to think deep wondering y wud I let u go you make me feel like I'm the best thing yet lol nd even though i never attempted a long distance relationships i felt like you had everything for me to keep a relationship with you cause "i really want u and only u" dats your line lol but i mean it too though nd like my favorite motto says dnt think of why something wont work you only need one reason why it will =* i never get tired of being with or seeing u cause your just dat AMAZING and you so damn FINE lol i be n my own world daydreaming of just me n u on our own planet..

10: but like you said i know it was a basketball game. and as a correction ; its when YOUR legacy began. it had been soo long since id laughed and just chilled and enjoyed someones company. someone who was sweet and made me feel as though they wanted to be there with me and no where else... before we really started texting and talking ; i spent most of my time alone thinking and trying to keep smiling. but its like after we kissed i realized that i was in fact wasting time and that there was so much i was missing out on because i was stuck in the past. it was like our kiss was the jumpstart i needed to move on -for real this time. -another thing i thought about after we kissed was whether or not you had a girl. i relaized that i never did ask but instead assumed you didnt because you engaged in my flirting and game. im not gonna lie i pondered your status for a while. lol. i talked to pooh about it and was like damn i hope he aint gotta chick but didnt wanta ask becasue i was afraid of the answer. but eventually realized that you werent the type. i knew you had truly captivated me when i couldnt stop thinking about you and when i started to write poems inspired by you i was like oh shi ; here we go. lol.

11: . but not wanting to rush into anything i kept my cool. i didnt want to spoil what we had because i really didnt know if we were going any further. i often thought about what we would be like officially then came to the conlusion we'd be exactly the same. ha. i have alwayss <3'd our vibe. & yes we did get into EVERYTHING before 3.11.10 ; <3 but i wasnt really concerned. even if 3.11.10 ; <3 was nonexsistent i wouldnt regret ANYTHING we got into before hand. i wanted you in every way so i got you. lol. -especially when 3.11.10 ; <3 came ; i got you in every way ive ever wanted you and im still happy. the biggest difference between me and you and our view of this relationship ; is that before the reveal i never thought about the distance as a factor. all i seen was me and you continuing what we started. but when you told me how you felt about it i started to doubt our durablility. it made it seem like we couldnt withstand anything and that we werent going to make it. so i started my retreat. tried my hardest to accept that we might not be together after high school and reprimanded myself for being so naive in believeing we could make it. i slowly felt myself pullin away from you ; thats why it seemed like i was always in such a bad mood. -oddly i talked to dream about it and he told me i cant keep it to myseflf because id end up hurting us both ; so i decided he was right and prepared myself to speak with you. i couldnt find the courage to bring it up and when i did i didnt have enough to carry through. -while im dealing with all this emotional conflict i realize that the only explanation is i dont want to let go...

12: -times flying yet it stands still between us. -another thing i enjoy is not questioning the things yu do or the way yu act. i never doubt yu ; except with the time thing ; but i get that its out of yur control. most of the time. lol. and admitidly yu are getting better. ohh and i think its so nice how we can ride without music and hold conversation. lol. even tho its a struggle to listen to what I WANT in the car with yu. haa. its always fun to be with yu. always always always. and i find it harder to let yu go. <3 i miss yu as soon as yur out of sight. haha. sometimes before that. guess thats yur effect. -speaking of. lol. it makes me feel invincible. like it doesnt matter what i go thru i can perservere. its like yu and yur effect shows me things about myself i cant see. -prime example ; the 3 i made after missing EVERY shot i put up -it wasnt luck it was yu believin in me because i didnt. that means alot to me because i have a lot of those moments and as long as yu believe in me i wont be alone until i learn how to believe in myself. yu know? like its easier when yu have someone backing yu. and i know yu got my back. like i have yurs. <3. yu are easy to believe in because yu have success written all over yu. lol. yu make my life less complicated which is odd because relationships ordinarily complicate everything. but then again yu are very out of the ordinary.and i luh dhat. hhahaha. yur everything that i never thought to ask for and thats why yu are so rephreshingg bby. still my burst of phresh air and i cant be anymore excited to have yu in my life.

13: Well well well bby bby bby losing my manhood again with this gay diary =/ lol..ok so yea WE MADE IT official high school graduates(greatest accomplishment yet)...now later you got to meet the fam which is BIG lil JUB jus graduated and brought SMOOTH home lol wasnt planned jus happened =D nd i got to meet yours too which was fun had me laughn n all especially the Crazy Legs moment...over the last few days we have been spending our time together getting even more attached to each other nd I luh that cause sooner or later u gona go off to usf and ima be gon to famu which isnt so far jus 4 hours apart lol yea i been checked nd the moments we spend now is the memories i will have to think about while im in my dorm taking a break from studying =/...my feelings for you will always be same as we continue to grow nd mature n dis relationship =) well i lied i wont get mature lol ima always act up the way i do now but i will kno when its time to be serious...im not worried bout the distance cause im not doubting wat we have i trust you you trust me and thats very important nd what we need nd you already kno i believe in you cause you my BAE just cause u missed a couple shots that day didnt mean i was gona stop believing in you cant lose faith EVER gota stay strong and at the end most likely you will pull through just like YOU DID!!!!!

14: it's you and me | 03.11.10 ; <3

16: ...i was lost in you carter. never in my life have i felt so caught up in someone in like two seconds of them being close. lol. i mean it was riduculous. and now i feel like im only half a person without you in reaching range. lol. -thats actaully an understatement of how i really feel. -no GAME ! i have never had someone pay so much attention to how my body reacts to what they do. ive never had someone care enough to let me know that they pay that much attention to how my body reacts to their touch. -that simple fact amazes me. the fact that itll probably come back to haunt me doesnt even matter. lol. when you shared your "fun facts" i felt like a deer in the headlights. lol. i mean i knew you noticed but i just didnt know you were taking notes and testing theories. lol. and honestly i luh dhat. i cant really fully describe how i feel about that i just know i hope it never changes. when i said i hope you dont find new experiments ; i was so very serious. lol. -its not the sexual aspect its the way you presented the information and what i mean when i say you show me that you really do care about me. [even when you think you dont). you have yet to cease. and i cant tell you how much i appreciate you bae. you are truly "infecting" every level of me. appealing to all my desires and dreams. its like you lay dormant until i least expect in t then you strike. knocking me off my game AND picking me back up for the next strike. lol. i may have "game" but what you got is deadly. real talk. you got me wide open and for once im not scared...

17: and most importantly it had to be MEMORABLE! nd what can i say WE made it happen =) so on to the night...The Beginning cinema world theater #3 Just Wright 2MINUTES in the movie and you already playn wit me lol but as usual I didn't care cause I liked it nd somehow the night had to be more den jus a great time together..so the whole entire time I'm tryna plot on how I could get u back w/o coming on too "strong" lmao...I lied bout that strong part but on da real even after the movie I still had no idea on how I cud get u back so I had to go with da flow nd let things happen cause I'm not really a planner nd that leads to wen we got to ya house got out gave one of those I dnt wana let u, go hugs then "somehow" da games took off right after a long period of time of holding each other nd sweets...lol it started of soft but quickly got a lil rough and intense =D after "reading" you...you claim that you dnt teach me but that's all u have been doing lol been reading and learning since november...when I said I was taking lessons from you in the past it had a hidden meaning to it that u ain't know til now lol =p been teaching me indirectly nd I specificly told u how I learn the best by having hands on projects which basically was you nd trust me I dnt need no other experiments cause ur a handful and all I want..won't outgrow u cause you so damn FINE =D nd u always giving me more to look forward to especially wen u start playn da games I play..


19: Dear Jub, First off, I love you to the extreme. So extreme it's disgusting, okay okay I'll stop saying that, but in all honesty you mean so much to me. You are such a huge part of my life.. actually you ARE my life. (not to put pressure on you) but it's legit bae. I can't classify you as anything less. We have come so far and have grown so close together to the point I can hardly function away from you. You show me the great things in life and open my eyes to the bigger perspective of things in life. You have healed the wounds left by others and showed me it's okay to put my trust and faith in you. You hold me tight and I feel as though you will never let me go and when you kiss me I feel like I'm exactly where you want to be. The most exciting part is that we still have our whole lives ahead of us.. this is only the beginning and that alone is comfort to my soul. I have waited all my life for you and now that I have you I'm never letting go. You are everything i didn't even have the imagination to imagine. You are my bby and nothing can change that. Every day I wake up with something to look forward to and go to sleep with something to dream of. You complete me, you are amazing. You treat me like I handed you the handbook and shower me with your love with every opportunity presented. I look forward to this life we are building together and all the years we have to come. I'm thankful to have you in my life and wouldn't imagine spending it with anyone else. I love you bae more than anything this world has to offer. I'm excited about us and know we will be successful. Love Always- Smooth.

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  • By: shanancy j.
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  • Title: EHSENJAY
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  • Started: over 6 years ago
  • Updated: over 6 years ago