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Inside Me

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BC: Me & the worship team | Destany & I | Angel & I | The Fam | Jennasea | Me | Dylan

FC: Inside Me | By Abby Schleppenbach | "I read somewhere... how important it is in life not necessarily to be strong... but to feel strong." -Christopher McCandless | "When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace." -Jimi Hendrix

1: I dedicate this book to God, who has and always will love and care for me.

2: Table Of Contents | Poems . . . . . . . . . . . . Pgs. 3-7 Inside Me Sacred If I Were Told Dan Dan Who Where I'm from Short Stories . . . . . . . . . Pg. 8-9 Stop Light What Am I? Letters . . . . . . . . . . . . Pg. 10 My Letter To God Lists . . . . . . . . . . . . . Pg. 11 This I Believe Memoirs . . . . . . . . . . . Pgs. 12-15 Free Lovely Quotes . . . . . . . . . Pg. 16 Closing Page . . . . . . . . . Pg. 17 Comment Pages . . . . . . . . Pgs. 18-19

3: Inside Me Inside me a path, a path no other can stroll. Inside me is a river of fear that crucifies me-- an ocean of light, light to find hope, to want hope. Inside me is a never-ending love that won't stop trembling for more. Music, saying, "Imagine all the people living life in peace." Inside me is a torn masterpiece, an angel that gives me faith. Inside me is a ten mile wide sea of darkness that flickers every now and then flickers flickers flickers and someday it will be light.

4: Sacred | The explosion of my restless world whispered things I wanted to hear; the collapse of the bad things. If only I knew the amazing things could lose themselves, too. The value of my sacred grip of my worn dowm happiness split. The scenery of my blank dead Earth- couldn't hold on anymore.

5: If I Were Told If I were told: By this evening you will die, so what will you do until then? I would ask God to stay in my head. The things that impacted me, I would think of. I would make someone's life better. I would see the smiling sunset., sip red wine. Release my feelings for someone, Listen to the Beatles. The smile on my face, I could not erase. I'd be musically talented, sing, play the guitar, play the piano. Dance. Do things I never could do, I would make beautiful beautiful. I would paint mountains, I would live the life Jesus made me for. Then, lay under a shady tree with the one person who cared, and let go of the grass...

6: Dan Who Dan who laughs at his own jokes and sleeps like a mocking bird with no wings Who is ski's and NHL 11 who is friends and happiness Whose eyes are the ice he skated on Is too lovable to be hated Who says dang it with an accent and "Look what I can do!" Whose energy is like eyes on a million popping balloons Can't shoot a hat trick anymore... or get a penalty for cross checking. Who used to shoot slap shots Is selfless Is a paper full of words Is lazy laying in his maroon-ish bed Doesn't fly on ice anymore Sings tone deaf on Rock Band Screams, "Imma take a *#@!," like we want to know. Is hoodies, long hair and hope. Tells me not to worry Talks to me when I'm scared... like God's melody. "Hello?" "Is anyone there?"

7: Where I'm From I am from Great Grandma Adele from The Beatles, and Blink 182. I am from pigging out for the new year, and camping in my own backyard. I am from secret lies, and growing up too quickly. I am from people who clench their teeth, only to hide something that I already know of. I am from loving people, a loving person, and someone who followed through with the crucifixion. And I am from thankfulness.

8: What Am I? I am dark... I mimick things, but only when it's light out. You can only see me during the day. During the night, I sleep. I am a black hole. Some people wonder how I am possible. I'm 2D. I face only where the sun doesn't. I am on this very page.

9: Stop Light | As she drove by the gynormous Honda sign, she flipped on her air conditioning in her red jaguar. The streaming lights flying past her were almost like the trace of dust, left behind. She passed the billboard saying, 'Marlboro' and immediately thought of two words: lungs & death. The blinker- blink blink blinking in front of her made her feel tense, like something bad was about to happen. The stoplight was finally left behind, and, before she knew it, she saw a light... brighter than the sun, whiter than the snow, and it wouldn't go away. It just kept growing and growing. All she saw was light. It did not move... It was like she had gone into an all white room... without corners, or shadows, or doors, or windows, not even shadows. Like her eyeballs were glued to a flat white surface. There was no color.

10: May 17, 2011 Dear God, I know that you created this world for me and my fellow people to live in. It's just that, sometimes... you make it so hard to talk to you. You ARE my best friend, and the only person in the world and the heavens that I can actually talk to, and you'll actually listen. I fear you. I'm scared of you. And everyone tell s me that I shouldn't be scared of death, but I am. I'm scared of being tortured more than I am right now. Ii just want to be Holy, God. Holy, holy, holy, is the Lord, God almighty; who was and is and is to come. God, I know how holy you are, and I just want to be like you... I just want to be with you... for eternity. Thank you for the opportunity God, to be with you. I don't know why, but it isn't working for me right now. I want it to though, more than anything. You know how the devil is sometimes supposed to act like you? Well, he does. And it confuses me, lord. I just want my life to be like yours was, and never to give up on anyone, including myself

11: This I Believe -I believe that God can do anything. -I believe in hope. -I believe that music heals me. -I believe that people don't treat each other well enough. -I believe in love. -I believe in miracles. -I believe in the presence of God. -I believe in prayer. -I believe that everyone is selfish.

12: Free I awoke. I heard the slurred words coming out of his mouth. I thought, Great. Here we go, as I hopped out of my bed, in hope of it being the television. Although, I secretly knew it wasn't. This had happened plenty of times, and I knew how it would end up. Like all the other times; in a hotel. But all of the sudden, it wasn't a secret anymore that it hadn't been the TV. A boisterous bang came from downstairs, and I had to see what was going on. So I crept to my door, opened it a crack, and peeked out. The problem was, the small crack I had made didn't reach to the family room, so I couldn't see as far as where the bang had come from. Eventually, I just walked out of my room to find my dad holding a hammer in his right hand, and a massive

13: hole in the wall near my moms decorative nutcrackers. The hope in my mind of this ever ending had fallen. After all that chaos, the next thing I remember is me sitting in the hallway, crying my eyes out. I began to think, “Why would anyone care about me? After all, I caused my parents to get out of hand in the first place,” and, “Can anyone hear me when I cry? And if they can, are they making fun of me?” It seemed like half of my child life was spent in a hotel just to get away from my drunk dad, or going to my mom’s friend's house, and hiding all of our information. Sometimes, we would go two hours out to Pueblo, to my mom’s sisters. When my dad called, my aunt told him she had no idea where we went. Now, it seems like much more time was spent hiding

14: from him than we actually did. One time, when we tried to leave, he wouldn't let us. He pulled my hair, and grabbed my mom's arm. He just couldn't let go. He didn't realize that he was letting us slip away, emotionally. When it was school time, I would put on a mask or a fake smile, and just pretend I was okay. I never was though. I guess nobody could tell. I thought, “Okay. Cool. My act is working.” I was just too good at hiding my emotions. Now, I can't hide my feelings from everyone anymore. I have too much hurt to bottle it up, and never let it out. And I know now that there WAS someone listening when I was weeping in the hallway, and this person wasn't laughing at me, or making fun of me.

15: It was God, and he cared more than anyone on Earth ever would. God listens to me when I talk to him. He doesn’t change the subject and start talking about something that hurts him. My mom finally decided to split up with my dad, after five years of alcoholism. It was hard for the whole family. The thing is; now, me, my mom, and my brothers know God, and his righteousness. And we know that he will never give up on us. And I am set free. | "'Cause I am free to run. And I am free to dance. And I am free to live for you. 'Cause I am free." -Newsboys | "...you are wrong if you think that the joy of life comes principally from the joy of human relationships. God's place is all around us, it is in everything and anything we can experience. People just need to change the way they look at things." -Christopher McCandless

16: "Some people feel like they don't deserve love. They walk away quietly into empty spaces, trying to close the gaps of the past." -Christopher McCandless | Lovely Quotes :) | "There was a time when I fought my mind, 'cause the world left me behind, and I was running... I was running away. But my days turned into nights, when we hide behind in lights, and we were running... we were running away." -The Morning Of | "I never knew how to worship until I knew how to love." -Henry Ward Beecher | "I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it." ~Jack Handey | "Some people are like slinkies. They're not worth much, but they sure are fun to push down the stairs." -Patricia Briggs

17: Ta-da! | ...THE END!... | This book was truly inspired by what's inside my heart.

18: Abby, You're such an amazing friend :-) and I love everything about your mixbook... We really need to hang out!! -Angel | Comment Page | Abby, You have such a kind heart. I love you so much! -Mom | Abby- You're funny, weird, you make everyone laugh, you're talented, and I absolutely LOVE your mixbook! -Tatianna | Your mixbook was very cute and colorful. You did an amazing job!! ~Destany

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  • Title: Inside Me
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  • Updated: over 5 years ago

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