BC: Her eyes now shine so bright... | From that day on Crystals life changed. Jayden got to live with her since she was 18 now, and they shared so many more experiences from that day on. Crystal felt what it was like to have the strong family bond that she used to have with her mom. Crystal had lost so many things in her life and she was not going to let Jayden be another one. She protected Jayden with everything she had. She realized after that day that she wasn't different, but uniquely experienced.
FC: Danielle Blandford | Not different, uniquely experienced.
1: This book is about a teenage girl whose life falls apart more and more everyday. Behind her smiles shes broken, shes hurting, shes missing. Her life is rushing by while her mind is somewhere else in the past. | But her smile...it looks so real..
2: How far can a person go until the pain just wont stop?..
3: Crystal Rose Floyd, She wasn't average, she was different, a good different. But what made her so different was evil, it was dark. Her whole life was shaped and sculpted out of all the bad things that happened to her. Her life felt like a broken roller coaster, that just kept going down and down and she couldn't stop it. She couldn't stop all of the bad in her life. She didn't know why bad things always happened to her. She was waiting for the day where she couldn't take any more bad, so she crashed, her whole life just slammed to the ground. Her sad thoughts just filled her mind and exploded and her feelings overflowed her soul, all the bad drained the life out of her, to where there was no good, nothing to live for. But then maybe, finally she could be at peace.
4: If you were to ask her teachers and classmates about her, they would probably say she was happy, but very shy. She kept to herself. She put a smile on her face. Never got in trouble. They probably wouldn't believe you if you told them what shes been through.
5: When crystal got into high school she saw girls her age worrying about grades, their friends, boys, prom, clothes, social statuses and how exited they were with their whole life ahead of them. But seven-teen year old girls shouldn't have to be worrying about what crystal has worried about her whole life. Shes still questions herself everyday about why her biological parents gave her up as a newborn, why they abandoned her and why they didn't want her. They left her in a filthy, old orphanage where she sat in a crib all day for two years. Watching as the only people she knew, left with their new adopted parents. She vaguely remembers watching the friends she made in the orphanage leave, wondering why it couldn't be her that the couple wanted. She wondered why nobody wanted her. She constantly asks herself why no one wants her.
6: But finally, at the age of two crystal was adopted. By what was a happy, loving couple. Or at least it seemed like it.
7: Jack and Susan Floyd were Crystals new adopted parents. As a two year old coming home from an isolated, lonesome and dingy orphanage to a new spacious house, with all her own toys, her own room, her own bathroom. It was all that she ever wanted.
8: Crystal and her mom had a bond that mothers and daughters rarely have. Her dad was at work most of the time but Crystals mom was a nurturing and loving mother and was always there for her. She listened when there was a time to listen and talked when there was a time to talk. She stepped into her shoes when the time is needed and guided her to be a lovely young lady. She reached and gave crystal hugs when she needed them the most, and just for no apparent reason at all. They experienced the feeling of being themselves with one another. And there bond was inseparable.
10: Crystals mom was diagnosed with breast cancer when Crystal was about 10. It had already spread to the bone. She underwent chemotherapy and radiotherapy. She prayed and hoped that was the end of it. She was fine and back to normal after her treatment was over. She had no symptoms of bone cancer such as pain..nothing. Two months later she started developing shortness of breath, the cancer had spread to her bone marrow, lungs and liver. There was no hope. They couldn't start her on chemotherapy as one of the side effects of chemotherapy is bone marrow suppression. For two weeks..all they could give her was supportive treatment like blood transfusion and fluids..but there was nothing they could do to cure her..to help her live. Crystal stayed overnight in the hospital with her mom as much as she could. Her dad became more distant, working long hours to try and bring in as much extra money as he could for Susan's treatments.
11: It was almost like he was in denial. The dinners without her mom there, sitting at the table with her dad. They both knew what they were thinking. But they never mentioned it, they thought maybe not mentioning that mom was dying would make everything better. Walking down the halls of school, teachers and kids looking at her, as if they felt bad. But not once did anyone try and help. Not once did anyone actually care.
12: The day before Susan died she asked crystal when she could go home..how could crystal tell her mom that she was dying..that she was going to be in the hospital until she died..that she could never come home. Moms are supposed to be taking care of their daughters, not the other way around. But crystal stayed strong for her mom. She was young but so strong and courageous.
13: Her mom was 43. Crystal is now almost 18. Crystal was 10 when her mom passed away..2 weeks before her 11th birthday. Crystal was so lost without her. It didn't seem real.. | ...it was a nightmare
14: Crystal blamed herself over and over again. Her mom was her bestfriend the only person she felt ever truly wanted her.
15: Her dad became abusive. He drank more and more, he blamed himself and blamed crystal for everything. He told her that if they never adopted her, he would have had Susan all to himself. He told Crystal that she took her mom away from him. That she was selfish, he told her that he never wanted her, that it was her moms decision to even adopt her in the first place. He told her that she was put up for adoption for a reason because | ...nobody wanted her.
16: Crystals dad never seemed to be home anymore but when he was, he was short tempered, abusive and he spent all of the last dimes he made on Alcohol. He was no longer a dad to crystal anymore.
17: But thankfully she still had someone who she truly loved in her life, the one thing that kept her going. The one thing that made her happy. His name was Aaron Gray, he was an inspiring artist, he was smart, funny the only thing that could make Crystal smile anymore. Crystal and Aaron had known each other since they were 6, before her mom died. Their moms were good friends. He was always there for her, He knew everything about her. And they fell in love.
18: He came from a wealthy family, he was 18, owned a local coffee shop, had his own apartment downtown. He had a full scholarship to the Oklahoma art institute. Hes always had a pretty easy life. But he was supportive of Crystal, he let her stay over when her dad kicked her out. Gave her money when she needed it, fed her when her dad didn't. Bought her clothes when her dad threw all hers away. Threw her an 18th birthday party when her dad forgot it was even her birthday. He was Crystals escape.
19: During Crystals senior history class her teacher assigned them a family tree assignment. Crystal hated projects like this. What is she supposed to talk about? Or better yet who is she supposed to talk about? Who is her "family"? But that day made her realize that shes never really thought about her background. She never tried to find out who her real parents were. She was never really interested until now.
20: She lived with Aaron now but she decided to go home to pick up the rest of her stuff she still had in her room. And maybe try to find anything she could about her family background. Usually Aaron comes with her to her house, but he had work today. The keys were changed but she managed to climb through a back window. Her room was empty, with the handful of her stuff in the corner and the rest was filled with old boxes. You could tell her dad wasn't cleaning, the house smelled horrible. It was a mess, dirty dishes, trash everywhere. He even sold all of their furniture. It always reminds Crystal about how her mother used to always keep the house so clean, neat and perfect. It didn't look like the same house, the first time she came home from the orphanage, it didn't even have the same feeling. All the good memories from that house were filled with bad.
21: Thankfully her dad wasn't home, so she gathered up the last of her stuff and right before she was about to leave she wanted to look through some old things. Her dads closet was a place where she knew he hid everything. Not much of a good hiding place but she was never even allowed in his room. Her curiosity led her to find some boxes shoved in the back of his closet, most of them were old pictures of her mom. Then there was this one box that caught Crystals eye. It was in the far back of his closet. It looked like it hasn't been touched in years. She immediately started to look through it, hoping her dad wouldn't come home anytime soon.
22: She found letters, and pictures of people shes never seen before. With dates all the way from 6 years ago until the latest one which was just 3 years ago. She was shocked to what she was reading, and just within reading the first letter, emotions of sadness instantly drowned her and tears started streaming down her face. After about two hours straight of reading all the letters she got interrupted by a phone call from Aaron. It was ten o'clock at night, she was lucky her dad didn't come home by now. Aaron was worried and making sure she was okay. Time passed by her so quick reading all the old letters and flipping through all the old photos. Aaron shortly after came and picked her up.
23: From the crying on the phone he knew something was wrong. She didn't look sad, but confused. Disappointed.
24: About a year after her mom died her biological parents had a baby. His name was Jayden Evans. All the letters were from her biological parents, Rose and Dean Evans, explaining everything. Hoping for letters back, or pictures even. They sent pictures of Jayden, he was Crystals real brother. Her dad kept these from her for years. Something she knew her mom would never do. Because Crystals dad was lonely, he wanted Crystal to be lonely too.
25: The next day Crystal decided to skip school and Aaron stayed home from work. She stayed up all night the night before reading the rest of the letters. She wasn't sad, but she wasn't happy. She didn't know what to feel. She thought for a second that maybe she actually had a real family. But why did they stop sending her letters all of a sudden?
26: Crystals curiosity was going insane. The letters didn't tell her much about her real parents, all the letters really said was just about her brother, pictures of him as a baby, him first walking, his first missing tooth, and the time he had to get stitches from falling of his bike. So she started to research her parents but it was a struggle because all she had was their names. Crystal was determined to find her parents, She knew it was probably a bad idea, how could she show up in the peoples lives that gave her away? It wouldn't be fair. But she didn't care, she had a brother, her real brother. Nothing was stopping her.
27: After hours of her afternoon of researching as much information as she could about her parents she found nothing. She was almost feeling hopeless. Until she got an idea, she felt stupid for not thinking of it in the first place, there were addresses on the envelopes. From a place called Burrowsvillle, Arkansas which was not to far from where Crystal lived-Tulsa, Oklahoma. She was exited, and she planned to take the earliest train down to Burrowsville in the morning. Aaron couldn't go with her but gave her some money, told her to be safe and to call him for anything. She was exited, scared, and nervous all at the same time.
28: She arrived around 9:30 that morning. She called a local taxi service which was not common around Burrowsville so it took about an hour to get to the train station. She showed the taxi driver the address that she wanted to get to, since it was a very small town he knew exactly where it was. Everybody in the town knew everyone, and everything. Things spread quickly there. Crystal had butterflies in her stomach, this was such an impulse decision, she was having second thoughts right before they even pulled up to the house. She never really thought about what she would say when her parents opened the door. Would they be happy? Or mad? Was it gonna be awkward? What if her brother hated her? What if they didn't want her to come? But they pulled up to the house and there was no turning back now in her mind. She was already there so she might as well just do it.
29: Right as she was stepping out of the car though there was a 'sold' sign on the front of the house. "Why would there be a sold sign in their yard?" she said to herself But before she could even think, the driver told her that someone bought the house. That didn't even answer her real question, she asked the driver where the people before moved to. He looked down in sadness and informed her that the couple that lived there before had died about two years ago in a car crash on the way to Tulsa, Oklahoma. Her stomach dropped, that feeling you get when you hear something that you never wanted to hear. Immediately she asked if a boy was in the car crash too. The driver said he was but he came out with just a couple broken bones, cause he was safety strapped in a car seat and the only one wearing a seat belt. With all her emotions swirling around her head, she didn't even question how the driver knew all about this family. Not only the fact that everyone knew everything about everyone in the town. But because the driver was one of Deans, bestfriends. He knew all about Crystal and has been waiting for this day.
30: He didn't tell her who he was though. He went through a terrible grieving period and just couldn't handle anymore stress of the subject. But as he was driving away from the direction of the train station, Crystal didn't even notice. She was starring blank out of the window with floods of thoughts in her mind. She couldn't even keep up with her own thoughts. And again she questioned herself. Why do bad things always happen to her? They pulled to a stop, Crystal thanked the driver and gave him money but he refused. She got her bag and opened the car door, as she was about to shut the door he told her to never give up. She was way past given up, she laughed a little, and thought that he would never understand. As easy as "never give up" sounds, it was all she wanted to do now. Her effort was useless and she just ended up losing something she never even had.
31: She shut the door and he drove away quickly. She looked up at the building, it was not the train station. She had no idea where she was, it was an old, dirty building. She tried to wave the driver down but he was way to far gone, she had no idea where he took her. But there was no other building in sight. Her only choice was to go inside and call for another driver, but she was probably just going to call Aaron instead to come get her. She needed him the most now. She went inside and no one was at the front desk, she needed to ask for directions for where she was. It was quiet inside, and for some reason she didn't know why. But the building felt familiar, the smell, the feeling she got when she walked inside. It brought back memories, of a building that she was put into as a baby. Then it came to her, the building reminded her of an orphanage, the same orphanage that she was given up too, and the place where she was adopted.
32: How ironic was it that she ended up here? Then she thought back about the driver and how strange it was that he knew so much about the people that lived there before, her "family". She put all the pieces together. The letters from her real parents stopped coming around the time the driver said they died. The last letter from them said they had a surprise. The last place they were headed before they died was Tulsa. The surprise was going to visit her. The fact that the driver knew so much about that family and just "randomly" dropped her off here. And her baby brother Jayden was still alive.
33: "Can i help you? Miss...hello miss?" Crystal didn't realize the lady at the front desk was trying to get her attention for who knows how long, but Crystal once again was distracted by her thoughts. Thoughts filled her mind in seconds; There is no way, that would be impossible, surly my parents had someone to take Jayden when they passed away. And before she could finish her thoughts she blurted out "Is Jayden Evans here?" The lady looked confused, the expression on her face was what Crystal was expecting. Of course he wouldn't be here she thought, good things don't happen to me. But the lady's expression wasn't just confusion she was shocked. She wondered if this was who she thought it was. The same girl that Jayden always talked about.
34: Jayden would always tell the elders, nurses and all the other children about his big sister. It was something he was so proud of. He would say things like "i have never met her but i know she thinks about me.", and "we will meet someday, shes the best sister anyone could have." No one believed he even had a big sister. The lady at the front desk asked Crystal what her name was, and yes the lady knew automatically before Crystal even answered that it was Jaydens big sister. They had the same hazel eyes, they both made that same look when they were disappointed. The lady told Crystal to follow her.
35: She led her into a room, that brought back even more memories to Crystal. Crystal was very confused, more distracted on the memories the building brought to her rather then where the lady was leading her. The lady led her over to a table in the back of the room where a little blonde haired boy was sitting, coloring neatly between the lines of a tiger coloring sheet, she tapped him on the shoulder. He turned around and looked straight up to Crystal. Without even asking or hesitating he knew that was his big sister. And that was Crystals Baby brother.