FC: Li[z]fe in Color
1: Hello. Welcome to my world. Inside are memories captured, stories re-told, and myself explained...well attempted to be at least. The journey you are about to begin won't be easy. You'll be confused by colors, distracted by depictions, and enveloped by envy. You'll first be taken back into my childhood, where the magic and purity of innocence dictated my world. Then, you'll make a pit stop at one moment in my life, in which you'll see, up close, a moment in my past which helps explain who I am today. You'll dance throughout the lines of a poem, weaving in and out of my crazy nature. Next, its time to re-visit high school. WARNING: the moments located in this section are crazy. View at your own risk. Senior year is highlighted in depth, probably the best year of my past by far. Along the way, you'll hear music, the music I listened to as a child, music that highlights my personality throughout the times. Next, you'll jump into the future, and be privy to my regrets, dreams, aspirations, and where I think I'll be in five years. Back to the present, I hope you enjoyed your trip into the life of me. It's a good thing you didn't travel into my head, its crazy in there. My brain produces thoughts constantly, and my mind races throughout these thoughts at light speed. From disturbing to weird to odd to hopeful, my thoughts make my head a fun place to live. You're lucky you didn't get to enter. | Welcome
2: Down a back road Long, hot summer A couple kids runnin' loose and wild He kissed her She said mister, Take an inch and I'll give you a mile I ain't here to do anything half-way Don't give a damn what anyone might say I just wanna free fall for a while That rebel moon is shinin' Those stars burn like diamonds Hell bent on chasin' down that crazy slide I'll follow you where you're leading To the first sweet taste of freedom You got me runnin' baby, Wild at heart About midnight, he tells her I ain't got no come-on lines Well I love you, or I'll try to We got nothing to lose but time Stick your hand into my back pocket Light me up like a bottle rocket I just wanna free fall for a while | "This song represents the memory of carefree summer nights with dancing and sneaking out as we came to be the people we are now. Every weekend of sophomore year, Ashley, Briana, Marisa, and I would spend a Friday or Saturday night at Liz’s house. Usually, we went to Margaritas for dinner, where Liz always ordered her signature “baco.” Afterward, we’d wander through downtown, eventually returning to Liz’s basement where we were greeted with unopened bags of chips and pretzels scattered on the pool table. Pretty frequently, Liz and I would be traveling up and down the stairs to snatch some peanut-butter-ball-vegan-cookies from the still-warm cookie sheet. After singing and dancing for hours, we’d adventure through the tiny basement window sneaking out, or sneaking people in. We had so much fun in that basement, the five of us crowded onto the futon and one mattress, watching movies on “chill nights.” Once, Ashley fell down the stairs which we blamed on “Esther” the evil child from The Orphan movie. Another night, Liz and I trekked down Route One to meet up with Jimmy Ceil, Ryan Buck, and Mike Tranchida, and on the way home convinced ourselves we were going to be kidnapped and ended up hiding behind bushes in someone’s front yard. Of course, Tim Cusack was always there to punch Liz’s stuffed monkey, injuring his hand for school the next week. The memories we made on those weekends, invoke a feeling of being carefree and truly “Wild at Heart.”" ---Olivia Barth | Wild at Heart
3: This book is dedicated to everyone who made all the amazing memories I have possible. Thank you! "The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift." - Albert Einstein
4: Auto-Poem Photo Narrative Timeline Neighborhood Poem Five Lessons Learned Senior Year Important People Me in Five Years Benjamin Prom 2011 Senior Skip Day High School Goals, Dreams, Achievements, Regrets Do You Believe in Magic? Disco Inferno | Table of Contents
5: Dear Mom, Thank you, for everything. You’re the most amazing, strong hearted, hard working, and generous person that I know. You always put yourself before anyone else, and I’ve seen that first-hand over the seventeen years I’ve spent with you. You’ve been there for me, every second of every day, always loving and supporting me through my many phases (from the tom-boy stage of my youth to my obsessive healthy eating to my weird daily rituals). You’ve never questioned what I do, as long as it made me happy (and was legal of course). If I was ever sad, depressed or anxious, you never failed to comfort me and make me feel okay. You gave me the strength to accept myself for who I am, and gave me a certain confidence that I will never let go. You’ve given me advice that I know can get me through anything I will face in life, and I am eternally grateful. I can’t explain how much you mean to me and how much I love you. You taught me to be happy, and to do what makes me happy. You helped me find strength within myself to keep going and to keep pushing even when things were rough. I’m so so so so lucky to have a mother like you; I can go to you with anything, you are always so understanding, and are simply the best mother I could have ever asked for. From our love for coffee and corn muffins to Bella and shopping lies the deep bond that has grown between us over the years. I will always be there for you with whatever you need and I want you to know that I think you are the most remarkable woman ever. You always put others in front of your self, and I admire you in every way. You’re anxious nature has rubbed off on me over the years, but I think that anxiety always helps a person be aware. Natural selection has chosen the trait that codes for a more anxiety prone individual to survive and persevere throughout the ages for some reason! Overall, you’ve helped me learn, change, and grow to be my own person. You’ve let me make mistakes, and learn from them, which I’m so grateful for. You taught me to have confidence in who I am, to take advantage of every moment life gives, and that one can always have fun in any situation. You’ve taught me to find the best in anyone and anything, a skill that I feel has and will continue to carry me through life. I feel that you’ve prepared me for the world in a way that couldn’t be described by any parenting books. You are truly the best mom that one could create and I wouldn’t be who I am today without you mom. I love you so much and never forget that! LOVE LIZ
6: An interview with Liz If I were to Take part in an interview Maybe it’d go A little something like so: What’s your name? That’s an interesting game, For my name Is hardly ever the same. Occasionally, I am just short of crazy Yet on this fine day, Am I saner than always? That will be up to you; For you are holding the interview Meow. Sometimes, I’m spontaneous Woof. Always part of the miscellaneous What do you love? That’s a complicated question for I am unsure of the exact meaning of the word that you have chosen. I love it all From coffee to running to Bella to pizza to ice cream to friends to family to lime green to the fall A part of me (That I really do not wish to be) Is obsessing and compulsing Which can quite frankly be revolting I wish to live in the present And only think about each passing second What mistakes have I made? Acts of vigorous expecting should be forbade And that of spontaneity Should be valued for its originality What do you fear? I fear lying and jeer Lies are so blind They can destroy the mind What is it that you desire? Peace, Love, Happiness, the elements, like Earth, Wind, and Fire But that’s a little much, you see Perhaps I only will desire a chocolate chip cookie. Ah, Who are you, miss? Well, sir, I think, no I know I am Liz.
7: I loved being adventurous as a child. I had a few fears, which were strong and hard to extinguish. Otherwise, I loved seeking out adrenaline inducing ventures. The rush of something new brought upon a sense of pure excitement inside of me, igniting a spew of endorphins and serotonin to spread throughout my skull. In this picture, I was at the zoo, and I remember being unafraid of the huge animals grazing next to me. I wanted nothing less than to go up to them, greet them, and feed them. How i greeted these animals, so friendly and fearless, is how i tend to act towards strangers today. The fact that so much mystery, so many people, places, and animals, existed outside of my little house enthralled me, and still does today. I was able to connect with others, for I was a strangely empathetic child. I was always finding myself being able to relate to others plights (a trait I'm positive I got from my mother). A smile was always on my face, and my I loved making others laugh. Laughing was so pure to me; the best part of living, I was sure of it. In this picture, I was laughing, maybe because a giant reindeer like creature was tickling my hands, or maybe because I was overjoyed with the magic of life itself. I felt a magic as a child, a magic that enabled me to live each day filled with pure excitement. This magic was like the spark of a new love, only my love was life itself. This magic is evident in my smile, and in my smile one can see how I have not a care in the world. This magic was part of my childhood, and strongly determined who I turned out to be today.
8: September 18, 1993- I was born August 1997- I went to Happy Time Preschool and became extremely scared of the teacher with the mustache. September 1998- I met my “twin”, Noelle Hickey! March 1999- I met my first best friends, Emily Hutter and Tenley Godfrey | November 1999- I made my first imaginary best friend, black Derek August 1999- Went to Deans Mill Elementary I had Anxiety about leaving home and worried every dayThought the bus would take me and never return April-December 2001- I strongly believed that I was a spy and spied on all of my neighbors | June 2003- I got my first cat, Mystie! August 2003- Went to Mystic Middle School, was in Mr. Berg’s class January 2003- FIRST CRUSH! May 2004- I first started playing softball on Steak Loft, made all-stars! January 2004- I had my first boyfriend and first kiss at the semi-formal with Ford Wilson March 2004- I was elected on Student Council and met Bill Clinton (wanted to be in politics) November 2005- I dated Jimmy Connelly for over a year!
9: December 2005- I went to Claire Chamber’s house and watched Oliver Twist and was scarred for life. February 2006- I went to Mexico for the first time, fell in love with Simonae, and started eating healthy! June 2006- Our all-star team beat Rocky Hill and won district 10 championship July 2006- I graduated middle school with straight A’s all the way through August 2006- I started my freshman year of high school February 2008- I went to Mexico again with my family and cousins, and met Tyler and that other girl. June 2008- I (and Ashley Wheeler, Marisa Moody, Olivia Barth, and Briana Minnicucci) discovered that I could sneak people through my basement window (beginning of many adventures) November 2009- I was second runner for varsity cross country February 2009- I went on my first cruise to Cozumel, Belize and Costa Maya December 22, 2009- Started dating Benjamin Mazzarese! June 2010- I started working at First Bite Bakery (BEST SUMMER EVER!) June 2010- Went to Newport with Ben! July 2010- CAPE COD WITH BRIANA! August 2010- Senior Year! April 2010- I decided that I was going to go to the UNIVERSITY OF DELAWARE! (with Briana Minnicucci)
10: It all begins With the hunt for a cylindrical piece of aluminum; So minute, Yet so imperative to the impending investigation. Who will be it? The question sits in the foremost part of each child’s cranium; For the “it” misses the adrenaline of the adventure. They know That that feeling of freedom will be replaced by responsibility and rules, Yet are blind To the fact that this is an integral part of life itself | Eight, Nine, Ten The sprint begins with us running through the grass Feeling untouchable, Until the “it” bellows someone’s name and location. Their spot revealed, To jail they must go, and with the desperate desire to be disembarrassed. She runs through the neighbor’s yard, hops the fence Climbs the roof, And stakes him out, waiting for that perfect opportunity | To pounce. She sees him abandon his post, and, slowly inhaling that rush of freedom She leaps, And sprints with everything in her might. She Kicks the can. And frees the jail, exuberant with pride. The simplicity of life Mixed with the magic of bliss Is captured perfectly in the hearts in these children. The enchanting ways Of childhood, the excitement of each new secret passageway The whole neighbor hood Coming together, Laughing and living carelessly Not a thought in their thinker But to kick that can. | Kick The Can
12: My mother taught me that in life, sometimes I have to do things that I don’t want to do. I’m a very out-spoken girl, and have been my entire life. I have always spoken up when I didn’t want to do something, always trying to find a way out. My mother was always there, right beside me, pushing me forward and telling me that it’ll be over soon and that I can do it. She always put other’s needs in front of her own, something that I hope I can do someday when I have children. She hardly complained, and gave her everything to raising Joey and I. She gave me the confidence I needed to suck it up and just go out there and do it. She taught me how to get over any anxiety that I had, and forced me to realize that I don’t have control over everything in my life. She helped me focus on things that made me happy, such as bringing me a chocolate chip muffin before every softball game, or planning an event in the future that I could look forward to. Eventually, I realized that there’s just no getting out of some things that I have no desire of doing. This was a major breakthrough for me, and helped me mature (just a little bit). With her help, I learned how to look past my anxiety and realize that not all things in life can be my decision. This will greatly impact my future, for in college and in my later years of life I’m sure I will need to do things that I won’t necessarily be too fond of, such as birthing a child, and I won’t run away from it like I did in the past. I will use what she has taught me and focus on the better things in life. | Jane Orf taught me how far a little confidence can take you. She is the most confident, outgoing, strong-hearted and caring person that I know. Whenever we would be together, she would be telling joke after joke, making any situation fun. She had so much faith in who she was that I envied her. She was free, and knew how to let loose and forget all her troubles to live in the moment. She was the woman that I wanted to be (besides my mother of course). I had always struggled with the whole confidence thing, always doubting my appearance and such. I was always obsessed with something, whether it be school work or calories, and Jane taught me how to let that go and simply just be. She taught me how to forget all my troubles and live in the moment. She showed me how to have confidence in who I was, and how to find this confidence whenever I was feeling down. In life, this is such a valued skill, for so many people get caught up in the rush of living that they forget how to actually live. Jane showed me how important it is to love who I am and how much better life is if I am happy with the person I have grown to be. | Lesson's aren't just for school
13: Ben Mazzarese taught me how the little things in life should never be overlooked. The little moments are the pieces to the puzzle of life and I, always planning out every second of every day, often overlooked the smaller details of life, to focus on the big picture. He taught me how to appreciate the little things, and how to not let the worry that so often haunted me plague each moment. He showed me how to stifle my pestering OCD habits, and how to just be happy living in each moment. While he may not understand how annoying OCD can be, he certainly did an awesome job of being there for me when I couldn’t focus on much else. He helped me to let anxiety go, showed me how valued happiness really is and how easily I can find it when, to me, it seems lost in a tangled web of frequently traveled neuron pathways. In life, when I feel that need to scrutinize each oncoming moment in life, and plan each second of my time, I will remember what Ben showed me, about how happy I can be without obsessing and how planning everything isn’t the best way to live. | My friends taught me how to be honest and how to be myself. All my life, I have wanted to please others. I used to have difficultly saying no to people, for I always wanted to make them happy. I did this enough times with my friends that they began getting annoyed with my constant yes’s, yet not consistently following through with all the plans I made. They taught me how to say no to things that I don’t really want to do, and how people won’t be mad if I do. They taught me to be honest, with myself and others, about what I’m actually thinking versus what I think others want to hear. This is valuable because I feel confident in saying what I think and not worrying about always pleasing others. The most important lesson I learned is how to not care what other people think. This has always been an issue for me; I would be more concerned about other people’s perception of myself rather than how I actually felt about myself. This year was the first year that I actually gained full confidence in being myself and paying less attention to what other’s thought. I learned that I need to focus on my own happiness, not always that of others. I learned that I need to always do what makes me happy, and that it doesn’t matter what anybody else has to say about it, because my happiness is only palpable to me. It’s something that others can’t touch, and no one else has the right to take that away from me. My friends have taught me that only the people I care about matter in life; all others will eventually fade away and be of no importance at all. Their opinions are just thoughts in their heads, and their thoughts have no more significance than my own do. Their words are just vibrations through my cochlear membrane, and as long as I am happy and the people that I care about are, LIFE IS GOOD | My dad taught me a lot through just being himself. In himself, I see me. I have some of his temper, some of his OCD and some of his, well, general problems. Whenever he would get angry, he would freak out at every little detail, which seemed rather comical to my brother and I at first but then became purely scary. Then, on some days, when I felt angry, I noticed myself doing the exact same thing. Everything just seemed wrong and I felt the need to bring every body around down with me, so they could maybe feel how I felt. It took me several years to make this connection, until recently actually, but now I better understand what I’m like when I’m angry. I understand how ridiculous I can be, how brutally I can lash out at others, and how uncontrollable this rage can be. I learned that when I get in moods like this, I simply need space. He taught me how not to act when I’m angry, and how screaming at others and breaking things won’t make the feeling go away. My dad has OCD as do I, and I have yet to learn anything about this from him, which hopefully I will soon. Overall, by watching my dad, I have learned how to control my anger and what others think of me when I get in those moods. This is awesome, because now, when I get older and angry, I won’t necessarily punch a hole in the wall.
16: Mom- You’ve always been there for me through everything and you mean the absolute world to me. I wouldn’t be who I am today without you. Our two favorite things: Coffee and Corn muffins Dad- You’re awesome, are always there to pick me up when I’m down, and always have the advice i need to hear. Though I inherited my OCD from you, you’re my number one coach for life. Grammy-You’re the best grandma ever and I look forward to Christmas at your house each year, not to mention you're the most amazing cook ever! (from cinnamon sugar toast to mac&cheese). Ash- We've had crazy times, from being scared from movies and peeing together to sneaking out late at night through my window to mini golfing in the Cape...you're awesome and i know that we'll sty in tough because I love you. | Jane Orf-You’re my second mom and I can talk to you about anything. You have helped me through so much, make every situation fun, always make me laugh, and have the best...dirty comments. Sara- We had the most awesomest time in Maryland and met those sexy French men on the train and you’re super cool and nice and thanks for everything! Joey- Well, you’ve been my brother for 17 years now and we’ve had some good times (pillow wall). I will always be there for you no matter what | Olivia- We've spent an incredible four years together, making some of the best memories ever! From dancing in my basement, to sneaking out late walking on route one, to our crazy photo shoots (hehe) to our understanding of each other. I love you! | Ben- You’re the most amazing guy I’ve ever met and have helped me through so much. We’ve spent an amazing year and a half together and you know me better than anybody else. You're my best friend and always will be! | Bri- You taught me to always be honest, to say what I think and how to see the best in every situation. We've had awesome times, (like in Cape Cod!) and I love you so much and can’t wait to spend an insane four years with you at DELAWARE! | Tori-We’re basically the same person and we’ve had insanely fun times together... you’ve been there for me through everything! You’re just as weird as I am and I love you. Batis- I love you and we’ve been tight ever since Pink Darth Vader... you’re awesome and we always have fun (making cat noises in the back of wood shop...pretty much sums it up :) <--- necessary emoticon) Jen- I love you so much and I'm going to miss you next year! Thanks for always being there for me no matter what...I can't believe that our four years together are over!
17: In five years I will be breathing in oxygen, exhaling carbon dioxide, and thanking my heart for pumping blood throughout my body. Neurons will still be firing rapidly and randomly throughout my skull. My eyes will be more experienced, my ears will be more practiced, and my tounge will be more well-rounded in the realm of food. Hopefully, in my hands, there is a college degree, with a concentration in cell biology and genetics. Hopefully, my eyes go on to see all the mysteries and wonders of the medical field. Hopefully my ears are starting to listen to professors at Physician's Assistant school. My soul will still be living, working tirlessly to make my body and mind happy. It will have prevented me from working a job I hate, in which I dread waking up each morning, knowing that each second of the impending day will be one that I wished to have spent differently. I refuse to live a life I will regret, and I will try to live each moment as freely and happily as the current situation permits. My eyes will have seen the streets of Spain, London, Italy, and Greece, with my mind submerging myself in each different culture, maybe finding where I am truly meant to live. My heart will have lead me to marry someone who makes me happy, and who can love me as much as I will love them. My brain seeks complete order, and will have lead me to be in the military. HA Just kidding. I wouldn’t survive a day in boot camp, or war. My body will continue to crave the high that accompanies exercising, and my brain will continue to guide me to eat healthy, in order to ensure my optimum level of health (even if it means waking up at five in the morning, like I do now, to go for a run and to the gym) Overall, I, myself, hope to find happiness in whatever life throws at me. I will be me forever, and that’s really all I know for sure. | Me In Five Years
20: PROM 2011
23: Laughter is the music of the soul
24: List of Dreams | I want to graduate college and become a Physician’s Assistant. I want to make the Dean’s list in college (at least a few times) I want to get married and have a family. I want to open a bakery when I’m older. I want to discover a cure for cancer and other diseases. I want to be famous for something. I want to go to culinary school of some sort. I want to learn how to dance. I want to be happy. I want to travel to Europe and maybe live there. I want to be able to speak Spanish fluently. I want to stay in shape and stay eating healthy until I’m fifty. I want to live until I’m one hundred. I want to meet the cast of Glee. I want to get a job where I can make an impact on people’s lives daily.
25: Achievements I made high highest honors each quarter for all four years of high school. I played Fur Elise on the piano at nine years old at a concert. I made all stars for softball my first year playing. I played varsity softball for four years. I was the number two runner for cross country my second year. I got accepted into eight colleges. I graduated Stonington High School (June 22, 2011) I was named a Stonington Scholar. I helped my mom and her friends loose weight. I got straight A’s throughout middle school. I ran a mile in 6:20. I got the Dartmouth book award. I got ECC honorable mention for XC and softball my junior year. I navigated Marisa’s boat in the fog to shore. I learned to always speak my mind and gained more confidence in myself. | Regrets | I wish I had tried harder in AP biology and actually learned the information. 2. I wish I had taken intense dance lessons as a kid. 3. I wish I had never started counting calories. 4. I wish I had never doubted my image. 5. I wish I had realized that other people’s opinions don’t matter sooner in my high school career. 6. I wish I had saved more of my money for college. 7. I wish I had been more organized in keeping my things neat and tidy. 8. I wish I had been closer to my brother during high school. 9. I wish I had taken the SAT’s one more time. 10. I wish I had not taken wood shop. 11. I wish I had not stopped playing the piano. 12. I wish I had never taken birth control. 13. I wish I had gotten a dog sooner. 14. I wish I had never gotten addicted to coffee. 15. I wish I had a pet monkey.
26: Do you believe in magic in a young girl's heart How the music can free her, whenever it starts And it's magic, if the music is groovy It makes you feel happy like an old-time movie I'll tell you about the magic, and it'll free your soul But it's like trying to tell a stranger 'bout rock and roll If you believe in magic don't bother to choose If it's jug band music or rhythm and blues Just go and listen it'll start with a smile It won't wipe off your face no matter how hard you try Your feet start tapping and you can't seem to find How you got there, so just blow your mind If you believe in magic, come along with me We'll dance until morning 'til there's just you and me And maybe, if the music is right I'll meet you tomorrow, sort of late at night And we'll go dancing, baby, then you'll see How the magic's in the music and the music's in me Yeah, do you believe in magic Yeah, believe in the magic of a young girl's soul Believe in the magic of rock and roll Believe in the magic that can set you free Ohh, talking 'bout magic Do you believe like I believe Do you believe in magic | Do You Believe in Magic | VI picked "Do You Believe in Magic" because my entire life, i've believed in magic. I find magic in music, and love the happy feeling a good song can induce. Music is my escape, and it can shine light onto any situation. I hope that, throughout my life, I will be able to find that magic every day. No matter what, I want to be able to say that I'm happy. I want to be able to take a step back, look at my life, and smile. The magic of life is happiness, and I believe that it's the single most important things one needs to succeed. I "believe in the magic that can set you free", and hope that I can continue believing my entire life. This song represents the attitude I want to have throughout my life. The magic of music can truly set one free, and can help one forget the troubles of life. Music is magic, and magic is happiness.
27: This song represents the memory of carefree summer nights with dancing and sneaking out as we came to be the people we are now. Every weekend of sophomore year, Ashley, Briana, Marisa, and I would spend a Friday or Saturday night at Liz’s house. Usually, we went to Margaritas for dinner, where Liz always ordered her signature “baco.” Afterward, we’d wander through downtown, eventually returning to Liz’s basement where we were greeted with unopened bags of chips and pretzels scattered on the pool table. Pretty frequently, Liz and I would be traveling up and down the stairs to snatch some peanut-butter-ball-vegan-cookies from the still-warm cookie sheet. After singing and dancing for hours, we’d adventure through the tiny basement window sneaking out, or sneaking people in. We had so much fun in that basement, the five of us crowded onto the futon and one mattress, watching movies on “chill nights.” Once, Ashley fell down the stairs which we blamed on “Esther” the evil child from The Orphan movie. Another night, Liz and I trekked down Route One to meet up with Jimmy Ceil, Ryan Buck, and Mike Tranchida, and on the way home convinced ourselves we were going to be kidnapped and ended up hiding behind bushes in someone’s front yard. Of course, Tim Cusack was always there to punch Liz’s stuffed monkey, injuring his hand for school the next week. The memories we made on those weekends, invoke a feeling of being carefree and truly “Wild at Heart.” | I picked the song Disco Inferno by 50 cent because it was my absolute favorite song when I was ten years old. I mean I used to like the traditional Brittany Spears, NYSNC and backstreet boys, but I clearly remember the moment that I first heard this song: I was in the shower and it came on my shower radio. I remember dancing on the spot and calling the radio station immediately after I got out to find out the name of the song. I then remember asking for the CD for Easter, and proceeding to rap it for my entire family. I was a very outgoing, spontaneous child and loved to be around people, which the quick beat and different style of this song shows (different to my usual music). This was my first rap song b | Disco Inferno