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Snow White

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Snow White - Page Text Content

BC: The Author | Shelley Eizips

FC: by Shelley Eizips | Snow White

1: Spa Lady, Witch, Assistant, Snow White, and Prince Charming | Characters

2: WITCH: MORON, MORON ON THE WALL WHO’S THE PRETTYIEST OF THEM ALL. ASSISTANT: YOU ARE THE PRETTYIEST OF THEM ALL SIR. WITCH: (CREEPY LOOK AT ASSISTANT) ASSISTANT: I MEAN MA’AM. WITCH: HMM MUCH BETTER AND DO NOT USE THE SAME WORDS I USE. ASSISTANT: OOH LOOK AT THAT GIRL I THINK SHE’S MUCH PRETTIER THAN YOU. WITCH: AH WHAT DID YOU SAY ASSISTANT: I SAID THAT SHE WAS MUCH PRETTIER THAN YOU. WITCH: (CREEPY LOOK AT ASSISTANT) | Scene 1

3: ASSISTANT: PLEASE DON’T HURT ME. WITCH: HOW COULD YOU SAY THAT OLD BAT IS PRETTIER THAN MOI. ACTULLY EVERYONE DOES THINK SHE’S PRETTY. ANYWAY, I’M NOT GOING TO HURT YOU. BUT I AM GOING TO HURT THAT OLD BAG OF HIDEOUSNESS. ASSISTANT: I DON’T MEAN TO BE RUDE OR ANYTHING BUT HOW ARE YOU GOING TO DO THAT. WITCH: I’LL THINK OF SOMETHING...

4: (34 DAYS LATER) WITCH: I'M BACK AND I AM POOPED OUT. ASSISTANT: DID YOU FIND ANYTHING. WITCH: NO. ASSISTANT: MAYBE YOU SHOULD GO TO THE SPA TO TAKE THE DAY OFF. WITCH: I SHOULD SHOULDN’T I. ASSISTANT: YEAH YOU SHOULD. COME ON LET’S GO. | Scene 2

5: Scene 3 | SNOW WHITE: OH HI WHO ARE YOU? PRINCE CHARMING: I AM PRINCE CHARMNG. I AM THE PRINCE OF THIS TOWN HENCE THE CROWN. WHO MAY YOU BE? SNOW WHITE: I AM SNOW WHITE. I’M NEW HERE MAYBE THAT’S WHY YOU DON’T RECOGNIZE ME. (LAUGH) PRINCE CHARMING: (LAUGH) YOU’RE FUNNY. SNOW WHITE: THANK YOU I APPRECIATE IT.

6: come true | a | PRINCE CHARMING: YOU WANT AN APPLE. SNOW WHITE: THANKS. PRINCE CHARMING: HERE TAKE RED. WITCH: (SEES PRINCE CHARMING GIVE RED APPLE)

7: Scene 4 | SPA LADY: HELLO MY NAME IS MARGRET HOW CAN I HELP YOU TODAY? WITCH: I WOULD LIKE THE MOST RELAXING THING YOU GOT. MARGRET: THE MOST RELAXING THING IS OUR BON CHAI PUT ON YOUR EYELIDS. WITCH: OKAY SEEMS GOOD ENOUGH TO ME. MARGRET: I’LL GO GET IT. (GETS BON CHAI/SLIME AND COMES BACK) I’M BACK WITH THE BON CHAI. (TAKES OUT BON CHAI AND PUTS ON WITCH’S EYELIDS) YOU KNOW IF YOU PUT POISON, MORE GREEN, AND MIX IT A BUNCH OF TIMES IN TWO DIFFERENT CUPS AND YOU EAT IT YOU WILL BE DEAD AFTER 30 SECONDS HAS PASSED OH AND YOU ALSO NEED TO MICROWAVE IT FOR 5 MINUTES.

8: WITCH: OH REALLY. MARGRET: UH HUH WITCH: MARGRET CAN I HAVE THAT BON CHAI TO TAKE HOME? MARGRET: UM, MAYBE I’LL GO ASK MY BOSS. (LEAVE THE BON CHAI) WITCH: (WHISTLE WHILE YOU LOOK AROUND THE SHOP AND THEN TAKE THE BON CHAI). MARGRET: I’M SORRY BUT YOU CAN’T TAKE—WHERE DID YOU GO? (GASP) OH NO, WHERE IS THE BON CHAI?

9: Scene 5 | WITCH: DUO. ASSISTANT: DUO. WITCH: GREEN. ASSISTANT: GREEN. WITCH: MORE GREEN. ASSISTANT: MORE GREEN. IS IT ALMOST READY? WITCH: (SMELL THE BON CHAI) WE ARE NOW READY FOR THE NEXT STEP. FOUR POISONS. ASSISTANT: FOUR POISONS. WITCH: FOUR MORE POISONS. ASSISTANT: FOUR MORE POISONS. WITCH: WILL YOU STOP COPYING ME. ASSISTANT: OH FINE

10: WITCH: (KNOCK) SNOW WHITE: WELL HE—EEH. (CLEAR THROUGHT) HELLO OLD LADY WHAT CAN I HELP YOU WITH? WITCH: (WHISPER TO YOURSELF) WHAT I’M NOT AN OLD LADY. (CREEPY VOICE) WELL YOU CAN TRY THIS RED APPLE IT IS FREE SAMPLE. SNOW WHITE: WOW EVERYBODY IS GIVING ME RED APPLES TODAY. THANK YOU. (BITE APPLE). MM IT IS DELICOUS. (FALL DOWN, FAKE BEING DEAD). WITCH: IT WORKED! (LAUGH EVILY) | Scene 6

11: SCENE 7 | PRINCE CHARMING: OH NO WHAT HAPPENED. WELL THERE IS ONLY ONE WAY TO SAVE HER AS THEY DO IN FAIRYTALES. (ABOUT TO KISS, SLAP TWICE GENTLY) SNOW WHITE: YOU SAVED ME. PRINCE CHARMING: I AM HAPPY TO SAVE YOU. SNOW WHITE: LETS GET MARRIED.

12: SCENE 8 | ASSISTANT: I HAVE SOME BAD NEWS. WITCH: WHAT IS IT THEN. I’M ALREADY HAPPY WHY DO YOU WANT TO RUIN IT. ASSISTANT: SO YOU DON’T WANT ME TO TELL YOU? WITCH: OF COURSE I DO MORON. ASSISTANT: OKAY TURNS OUT (SAY FAST) SNOW WHITE IS STILL ALIVE. WITCH: WHAT DID YOU SAY SPEAK A LITTLE SLOWER. ASSISTANT: (SLOW) SNOW WHITE IS STILL ALIVE. WITCH: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

13: (SING “CUP SONG”) (TAKE A BOW) | The | End

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About This Mixbook

  • Title: Snow White
  • A short script written as a modern version of Snow White, written by Shelley E
  • Tags: None
  • Published: almost 6 years ago