BC: Happy Birthday Pet Society!! Here's to another fabulous year!!
FC: Confessions of a Princess Wannabe: If I Had A Million Coins...
1: Once upon a time, in a land full of fish, there was born a kitten of most uncommon beauty. Her unusual violet fur was the softest and silkiest fur of all her siblings and so her mamma decided to name her Amethyst. Unfortunately for her, Amethyst was born into a family of barn cats so she never got to live the life of luxury her mamma always envisioned for her. All day long it was mice, mice, mice! Big mice, little mice, fat mice, thin mice, tasty mice, stinky mice, rude mice, nice mice - nothing but MICE! Her thirty-three brothers and sisters were perfectly content with their lot in life. They loved chasing and eating mice and playing in straw. But Amethyst felt out of place with her lovely violet fur. So her mamma decided there was only one thing to do. She packed up Amethyst's few measly belongings and took the long perilous journey across the field to THE HOUSE. The barn cats weren't allowed to go near THE HOUSE. The mean and vicious dogs were known to kill a cat on sight. But what else was a good mother to do? So she carried Amethyst by the scruff of her neck and stealthily evaded all the dogs and made it to the front porch. She gently set her baby down in a laundry hamper full of fluffy sheets, gave her one last lick goodbye, and then set off back for the barn.
2: That night, when the farmer came home, he immediately started to sneeze! He sneezed and sneezed and sneezed! And when he spotted Amethyst, he was furious! "What did ya bring that there thing in here for LuAnne May?! Ya knows I'm allergic! Git rid of it!!" yelled the farmer. The farmer's wife folded her arms across her formiddable bossom and screamed right back, "All right!! But she's staying here tonight and I won't hear any more fussin' 'bout it! And ya'll gonna find her a good home tomorrow, or ya'll be eating out of the pig sty for the rest o' ya life, ya got me?!" The farmer sniffled loudly once before turning on his bootheel and leaving the room, muttering all the way. | Amethyst immediately started mewling pathetically because she was so afraid! She'd never been alone before in her entire life! Soon the farmer's wife came out to see what all the racket was and when she saw the beautiful little kitten lying there in her basket, she was overcome with pity for the little creature and picked her up and petted her until she stopped crying. Then she took her inside and gave her a little bowl of milk. Amethyst was very scared, but she knew her mamma would want her to be brave. So she padded cautiously over to the little saucer and gave a tentative lick. And then another, and another, until she forgot all her good manners and slurped up every last drop!
3: After a quick car ride, Amethyst found herself faced with a modest little house with a white picket fence all around and beautiful flowers. The little girl scooped the little kitten up into her arms and yelled, "She's sleeping in my room! She's my kitten!!" Amethyst soon found herself in a pretty pink bedroom and she couldn't be happier! "I'm going to call you Princess," the little girl said, "Because you are so pretty you should live in a castle. One day I'm going to marry a prince and then I'll be a princess too and you'll be my princess cat and we'll live happily ever after!!" | The next morning, the farmer and his wife dressed up in their Sunday best and took the little kitten with them to town. They weren't quite sure what to do with the little angel, so they decided the best place to start would be the pet shop. Well what do you know? That pet shop owner took one look at the little kitten and offered to give the farmer and his wife a whole ten dollars then and there! The farmer and his wife were only too happy to hand over the little kitten. The little kitten was put in a big glass box all by herself and she was scared and lonely. But it wasn't too long before a family came in and saw the little kitten. The little girl, whose name was Melanie, ran straight for that darling violet kitten and yelled and pointed, "That one! That one! Please daddy, please! Let me have that one!!" And her daddy relented and paid the twenty-five dollars the store was asking, grumbling all the while.
4: The years passed and the little girl grew into a sullen teenager who wore black lipstick and listened to loud scary music and the little kitten grew into a cat who still dreamed of becoming a Princess. Sometimes the teenager would steal money from her mother's purse and hide it under the bed. Amethyst liked to steal the shiny coins and hoard them under her own bed. She found out from the neighbour's cat next door that there were underground shops just for pets where you could buy things with the shiny coins and so she decided one day to go visit one of these shops. And oh, what a shop! There were lots of things fit for a princess and Amethyst wanted every single one! | Just then, she spotted a mysterious glowing golden box, and her eyes widened and her mouth fell open. What could this be, this glorious, glowing box?! Surely there must be something good inside. Amethyst looked from the Princess bed to the box, to the bed, to the box. Back and forth and back and forth. The shopkeeper siddled up and said, "It looks like you don't have enough coins for that Princess Bed you seem to like so much, but you do have enough for this wonderful gold mystery box. Who knows what could be inside?! Maybe it could even be the bed you want." Well that did it! Amethyst said, "I'll take it!" and handed over her precious coins. She couldn't wait to get home and open her box!!
5: She hurried all the way back and sprinted up the stairs to her bedroom, dropping the shining box on her bed. She pawed at the box, listening to see if it made any noise. She couldn't hear a thing. She carefully lifted the top of the box and peered inside only to find... A T-SHIRT?! A T-SHIRT!!!! What good was a t-shirt to her!!! What a waste of all her hard earned coins! She worked extra hard that week, visiting all her friends, looking under bushes, participating in races, saving up as many coins as she could. She decided to go look at the furniture store again to double check the price of the bed so she'd know how much more she needed to save. And there it was, the perfect Princess bed. So beautiful to look at, it almost made her cry. She wanted it so bad!! Surely the Cat God would see how much she longed for that bed and would grant her her one true wish! So she let the shopkeeper talk her into another gold box. She couldn't wait to get it home. She was so excited. She knew, just knew, that this time it would be her Princess bed!! She darted up the stairs, dropped the package on her bed and tore it open! And found not a bed, but an orange tree!! What the heck was she going to do with an orange tree!
6: Thus started the vicious cycle. She would save up all her coins, reach that five hundred and think, surely this time... Soon her room was filled with useless junk. Occassionally she found a rug fit for a Princess, or something pretty, but most of the time, the things she found were not useful at all! It soon became very clear that Amethyst had an addiction for mystery boxes and no matter what she tried, she couldn't break the habit. Any time her coins reached five hundred she just HAD TO HAVE IT!!! Amethyst's friends tried to stage an intervention, but Amethyst wouldn't admit she had a problem. She told herself she could stop any time she wanted. Soon, her addiction got so bad that she started selling off all her clothing and furniture. She sold all her food and got thin and had a hard time running the races anymore. She could hardly drag herself out of bed to go visit her pals and beg them for more coins. She ended up with nothing, not even a measly piece of cheese!! | OUCH!!
7: Then she heard something miraculous! Something wonderful!! A contest was being held for one million coins! Enough to buy 40 Princess beds!! Surely if she won a million coins and was able to buy her Princess bed, she could finally beat her addiction! She could finally be FREE!! She could finally be HAPPY! So she sat down at her laptop (the only thing left in her room besides her ratty old bed) and started writing a funny story about what she would do with those 40 Princess beds. She wrote and wrote and wrote. She wrote all night long. And finally, she finished the story.
8: The next day, she mailed her story out to the judges of the contest and went home. She lay down on her ratty old bed and she prayed to the Cat God to please, please, please, please, please let her win. She thought about those 40 Princess beds. Then she thought, wait a minute. With one million coins... why I could buy 2000 GOLD BOXES!! That's 2000 chances to get a Princess bed or something even better!!
9: It was then that she realized the truth. Her friends were right! She WAS addicted!! And so she vowed then and there, if she did by some miracle win the 1,000,000 coins, she would use the money to open up a safe haven for those suffering from MBAs (Mystery Box Addictions), just like her. She would hire counsellors to talk to everyone and she would hire accountants to show people how to save up the coins they needed to get what they really wanted. She would help others for once instead of selfishly thinking only of herself. She wouldn't be a Princess Wannabe any longer! She would be a Fairy Godmother instead. After all, without the Fairy Godmother, Cinderella would never have become a Princess, and neither would have Sleeping Beauty! | I'm going to grant all my friends' wishes now!!