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Anything and Everything Weird and Crazy

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S: Anything And Everything Crazy By Robert Rowe

BC: THE END <('_'<) (>'_')>

FC: Anything And Everything Crazy By Robert Rowe

1: The Chaos Hotel The Elevator Name Acrostic 3 Haikus Rhyme Royal Typography Limerick | Pages 5-18 Pages 19-35 Page 37 Page 38 Page 39 Page 40 Page 41

2: Ode English Sonnet Italian Sonnet Villanelle Cross out Rondeau Pantoum | Page 42 Page 43 Page 44 Page 45 Page 46 Page 47 Page 48

3: Concrete Poem | Page 49

5: The Chaos Hotel

6: The helicopter hovered over the roof of the hotel. Five people dropped down. The word S.W.A.T. was printed on their vests. They all formed a circle next to the exit into the hotel stairwell. “Okay,” Vincent Morgan, the team captain spoke. “Perform equipment checks now. Sound off.” Vincent gave off the impression that the name Captain was more suited for him instead so that's what he was called. “Check,” David Martin, the team sniper, answered. “All good here, Captain,” Marcus Avnet, the explosives expert said. “Perfectly fine here Captain,” Catherine Bernice, the token female and medic, answered. “Ready here,” Devon James, the new and pretty much useless guy, responded. Captain sighed. “I have no idea what is going on in there, but there might be hostile enemies down

7: there. We need to be quick, silent, and effective.” The rest of the team all nodded and they entered the hotel. The team moved silently through the floors of the hotel. The hotel manager had given them each a master keycard to go through any of the rooms of the hotel. Captain sighed in aggravation as he checked another empty room. ‘There better be something here. I had to leave my wife and kids for this.’ He wasn’t even sure they had been called out for a good reason. There hadn’t been any sightings of anything remotely dangerous, so why were they wasting their time? They made it to the first floor after an hour of searching the four upper floors out of five. They stopped at the bottom of the stairwell to regroup. Devon sat on the stairs. He was wheezing loudly and heavily. “I need a rest. Hold on a sec.” Devon said between gasps as he pulled out his inhaler and took a few puffs. “Why are you here?” Captain roared, his rage

8: peaking. “W-What?” Devon whimpered, his breathing slowly stabilizing. “Do you know that your condition is a risk to the entire team? Your not even suppose to be here with asthma. Are you stupid?” David had to hold Captain back. “Vince, we need to finish this. We can deal with the new kid later,” David said, staring at the captain until the Captain sighed and nodded. “You’re right David; we have more pressing matters at the moment.” Captain glared one last time at Devon before calming himself. They all sat there for a minute before Catherine broke the silence. “So, anyone want a hug?” She smiled at everyone, hoping to diffuse the dark atmosphere that seemed to be hovering. “We have no time for that.” Captain said, “We need to get a move on. Everyone, the first floor has no

9: power on so use your flashlights.” The team did as he said, although Devon looked ready to cry. “Marcus, get the door. We’ll cover you,” Captain ordered. Marcus nodded and stood next to the door Marcus ran his fingers along the seam of the door searching for explosives or traps of any kind. There were none, or so he hoped so. “All clear,” Marcus whispered and the Captain motioned for him to open the door. The corridor that was outside the stairwell was dark and foreboding, even though it looked like a stereotypical hotel hallway. Captain walked in first and signaled for everyone to pan out. As the Captain went to search the first room on the left, a loud wood splintering sound made him jump and turn around. “Who fired?” Captain whispered. “I thought I saw something moving. I swear.” It was David. “Where?” Marcus asked.

10: “Over there. I heard footsteps too.” “It’s okay but make sure someone’s there before you shoot next time. We don’t need the hotel taking it out of our budget.” Captain replied with a wry smiles. The Captain opened the door to the first room. Room 100. He stepped in and fell back immediately. Fire raged in the room. The captain’s right arm was engulfed in flames. Catherine rushed to his aid. All of a sudden, the fire disappeared. An ominous deep male voice laughed. “Who’s there?” David yelled and the laugh stopped. “So Vince is a flamer. Am I right partner? Guess you ought to know Davy,” the ominous voice, which sounded kind of like a person from a western movie, burst in to a full laughing fit. “Shoot the speakers and cameras!” Captain yelled and the team followed his order. The laughing ceased. After a minute, there was silence. “What is going on here?” Devon asked after a

11: moment. He began pacing back and forth. He stopped suddenly and looked at David and the Captain. “That’s what he meant.” “What are you talking about?” Catherine asked with a puzzled face. “Think about it,” Devon said, stopped for a second and then continued. “He called our captain a flamer, correct? He’s g” “Now hold on a minute here. There ain’t no way our Captain’s gay. He’s got two kids and a wife,” Marcus interrupted. Captain cleared his throat loudly and everyone looked at him. “I have something to tell you guys.” He paused for a minute, looking tortured each second of his pause, and finally blurted out, “I am gay.” The whole team stood there in a stupor before Devon stepped out of line and smiled at the captain. “Looks like the tables have turned Captain. You’re in deep” The captain smiled back as he said it. “What’s so funny?” Devon asked.

12: The captain stopped his giggling. “If you tell the Chief or anyone else, I’ll have you kicked off the team. After all, you are out of shape” Devon sat in a daze after having his revenge foiled. “It’s okay Captain, your secret is safe with us.” Catherine said. “Yea” Marcus began saying when a loud bang echoed from a room two doors down from them. The Captain took affirmative action. “Devon and David, go check the sound out.” The Captain ordered. Devon and David nodded and went to the door and stood against the wall next to it. David motioned for Devon to open the door. Devon peered in and stopped dead in his tracks. In the room were about a dozen bodies. All of them dead. “Look at your handy work, Mr. James,” the ominous voice said, this time with a more formal accent. The rest of the team ran over and gazed into the room.

13: “There’s nothing there,” David said, but Devon still saw them. They littered the floor. They had what appeared to be stab wounds on them. Then, one of them started to twitch like it was having a seizure. Then another one did, and another. Finally they all were. Then, they all stopped. The one furthest away from him started to get up and shamble over. Devon stood there, frozen with fear. Catherine shook him roughly. “Snap out of it already!” But unfortunately, it didn’t work. The body kept creeping forward closer and closer to Devon. Once it was about three feet away, Devon recognized the person. It was the man he killed to get into the team. His name was Mike. Devon moved backward as Mike crept closer. “Stop! Stop it right there.” It didn’t work. Devon began firing at the shambling dead man, but bullets fazed through him as if he wasn’t there. “What’s going on?” Marcus asked the team as they all backed away from Devon. Captain shrugged and

14: the rest of the team was silent. Devon was getting desperate. “That’s it! I’ve had it,” he yelled pulling out a small frag grenade. “Get back! I mean it! I’ll do it!” The shambling nightmare didn’t stop. So he did it. “Clear!” Marcus yelled after seeing the grenade’s pin come off. They all jumped into the closest room. Room 112. The blast was as powerful as it was loud. Most of the team was driven to the floor of the hotel room. Captain got up first. He made his way to the hallway and broke into a run. David had not escaped to the room. He was a second too late. Nobody paid attention to Devon’s decimated remains, but David’s somewhat mangled body. Captain felt his heart sink. Marcus and Catherine watched as Captain ran to David’s aid, whispering to the downed man as he knelt there. Catherine noticed Captain was crying and it triggered tears of her own to fall. The captain smiled

15: and kissed David. Catherine and Marcus stood in astonishment. That’s what he meant about David knowing, Marcus thought, David is gay too. Marcus and Catherine both walked up to Captain. David was not breathing anymore. David was dead. “Why?” was the all Captain repeated. Marcus tried getting his attention but it was no good. He was lost to them. “We’ve got to get out of here now.” Marcus whispered to Catherine and she nodded but didn’t move. She stood there, stunned and confused about what was happening. Marcus didn’t wait. He picked her up and ran. A few minutes later, the ominous voice started up again. “Now, now, now. Left the good captain behind, eh? I’m disappointed in you people. No sport at all.” The ominous voice was back and laughing with its western voice. Marcus was still running. Catherine had fainted on his back. Must be tough for her to go

16: through this, Marcus thought and that voice started up again. “Don’t worry partner. She’ll be just fine once I’m done with her. I must say that I’m surprised you haven’t noticed how long you’ve been running.” The voice was right. He should be outside by now, but the hallway stretched on forever. “Just know that you’re never getting out, alive or dead.” the voice laughed again. The laugh infuriated him and filled him with fear at the same time. However, the fear wasn’t for him. It was for Catherine. “Hey!” Marcus yelled. “Take me. Do what you want to me, but let this woman live. Please!” He stopped running and stood there, waiting for the voice to respond. Silence filled the air for a few minutes. “You’ve got a deal partner.” the voice shouted. “I feel you are going to regret it in the morning” The voice didn’t laugh this time. Catherine vanished from his back. “Don’t you worry. I’ll keep my end of the deal. She will live on and won’t be harmed anymore.

17: She is in one of the squad cars outside, sleeping soundly.” Marcus smiled. He felt that he could die now without any regrets. “Thank you for not killing her.” Marcus breathed out in relief. “One thing is for certain. You humans sure are confusing to me, yes indeed.” Marcus pondered what that meant as the hallway closed in on him. Darkness engulfed everything and soon he was no more. ---------------- Jack Normand had the entire building surrounded by local police. It was his job to negotiate, but what was he negotiating with? The S.W.A.T. had been inside for two hours. He had heard no shooting, no commotion, nothing. Suddenly, the ground shook and Jack went deaf for a second. Broken glass littered the ground in front of the hotel. “What the hell is going on in there!” he shouted as he ran to a building near him, a diner .

18: A whole corner of the first floor in the hotel had been destroyed by that explosion. ‘Was that a bomb?’ Jack thought. They waited for about five minutes. He then motioned for police to close in on the entrance. “Move in!” Jack yelled. Dozens of police flooded into the lobby of the hotel. He began hearing the officers yell that they saw nothing anywhere. Jack went inside and looked around. Next to the counter of the desk was a Golden Labrador Retriever. As he approached the dog, it gave him a most human like smile and said in a male human voice, “Hi there partner.” END

19: The Elevator

20: Characters Punk (Matt) Business Man (Harold) Old man (Arthur) Voice (Simon) Narrator

21: Three men sit in a broken down, dimly lighted elevator. One was a punk-rock looking teen. The second was a formal business man. The last was an old gentle and fragile looking man. They have been stuck in the elevator for a couple of hours. PUNK: [yells with aggravation] What the crap is taking so long? I’m dying of boredom. BUSINESS MAN: [Sighs heavily. Annoyed] Yelling and screaming isn’t going to fix the elevator, is it? [Pauses for a minute] I didn’t think so. PUNK: [Hurt] You don’t have to be an ass about it, damn. BUSINESS MAN: [Gets up and goes by the old man] How are you doing in here?

22: OLD MAN: [Laughs a little] I’m perfectly fine. Don’t let my old age fool you. I can still beat up young snot-nosed kids like you two. PUNK: [Laughs sarcastically] You’re funny. You’d probably crumble the moment you tried to throw a punch. BUSINESS MAN: [Laughs] Nice comeback. PUNK: [Yells] Shut up! Nobody asked you for your opinion. OLD MAN: Now, now. There is no reason to fight. It’s just going to make it hotter in here. [Smiles] Reminds me of me back in my youth. I was just like you. I also looked a little like you except for the ugly hair style.

23: PUNK: You’re goin’ down, senile old man. Now leave me alone before I get mad, both of you. The business man and old man look at each other and then back at the punk kid. BUSINESS MAN: [With authority] That is no way to talk to your elders. You should show respect. PUNK: [Stands up and approaches the business man aggressively] Do something about it you b The business man grabs the punk’s arm and twists it behind his back. The punk begins yelling and flailing in pain. OLD MAN: Now that’s enough of that horse play in here.

24: The business man lets go of the boy. The boy jumps to the corner of the elevator. PUNK: [Tearfully] You both can go to hell! They fall silent, the only noise coming from the punk’s headphones. OLD MAN: [Coughs hoarsely] I wonder what's taking so long for the people to get here. It's getting hot and mighty uncomfortable. PUNK and the BUSINESS MAN: Huh? The Punk and the Business man look at each other. The Punk puts his head down as soon as the business man looks at him. BUSINESS MAN: [Sighs] Listen kid, I didn't mean to hurt you and I’m sorry.

25: PUNK: My name isn’t kid. It’s Matt. OLD MAN: My name is Arthur. BUSINESS MAN: Well, since we’re getting all acquainted, my name is Harold. MATT: Hey. My dad has the same name as you. ARTHUR: As whom? Matt: As Harold. HAROLD: Is your dad a nice guy? Matt: [shrugs] I dunno. HAROLD: Oh, I see. I know the feeling. I never saw my dad either.

26: ARTHUR: Ain’t that something. We all have something in common. Ain’t one of us seen our fathers. It’s ironic. I wonder HAROLD: Wonder what? ARTHUR: What happened to your fathers? MATT: My dad’s been dead a while. Before I was even born. ARTHUR: It’s the same for me. HAROLD: My dad left me when I was little. Five I think. That’s what my Grandmother had said. MATT: What about your mom?

27: HAROLD: She died when I was born so I was raised by my grandparents. They told me my dad left after that. Arthur looks as if he’s sleeping. MATT: Is the old guy okay? HAROLD: I dunno. [Shakes Arthur] You okay Arthur? Arthur jumps, making both Harold and Matt jump too. ARTHUR: [Breathing heavily] Sorry about that. I didn’t realize that I fell asleep. HAROLD: I should be the one who is sorry. I almost scared you to death.

28: They all laugh then fall silent. MATT: Hey Harold. HAROLD: Yes? MATT: What is your last name? HAROLD: It’s Daniels. Why? MATT: [sits still for a minute] That’s my last name too. Do you think we’re related? HAROLD: Hmm. Maybe we might. It could just be coincidence though. MATT: Are you married?

29: HAROLD: I was a long time ago. About fifteen years ago. Why do you ask? MATT: That’s my age. I’m fifteen. What was your wife’s name? HAROLD: [sighs] I know what you’re thinking but I’m not your father MATT: Just answer the question HAROLD: Fine. Her name is Jennifer. Matt: That’s my mother’s name. Which means HAROLD: Hold on a minute. What was her last name?

30: MATT: It was Morin. She has a different last name from me. HAROLD: Ain’t that something. I guess you are my son. I didn’t know she stayed in this town. You probably won’t believe me but your mom left me. She loved someone else. His name was Trent or something or other. MATT: His name is Brent and mom left him a couple of years ago. I hate him. HAROLD: Why do you hate him? MATT: Cause he’s a D-bag. HAROLD: Why aren’t you mad at me? MATT: [Shrugs] I guess I believe you.

31: Arthur began laughing out loud hysterically. Matt and Harold both looked at him. ARTHUR: [Breaths deeply] I guess this must be fate. HAROLD and MATT: Why? ARTHUR: [Smiles, to Matt] I knew there was a reason you looked like me. I’m your grandfather. [to Harold] And I’m your father Harold and Matt are quiet. ARTHUR: It’s like the Twilight Zone or something. MATT: Yeah.

32: HAROLD: This is weirder than that. MATT: I wonder why Mom lied to me. HAROLD: [Smiles] that’s easy. Your mom had an affair with some guy and then got mad at me when I wanted a divorce so yeah. MATT: What about you? [Talking to Arthur] ARTHUR: I left ‘cause Mary’s mother took you after your mother’s death. I still hate that woman. VOICE: [From outside the elevator] Hello in there! ARTHUR: Hi there!

33: VOICE: My name is Simon. I work for the fire department. How are you guys holding up in there? HAROLD: Like a can of Sardines. Thanks for asking. [Sarcastically] How about you? SIMON: I’m sorry for the wait, but we’ll have you out in a few minutes. A few seconds later the fire department starts opening the doors. NARRATOR: Meanwhile, off in the center of the solar system. The sun is now bright red. Solar flares are erupting all around it until it explodes, destroying the solar system. Finally the fire and

34: explosion calms, leaving only the stars shining in the distance. NARRATOR: And so the sun exploded destroying the entire solar system. As a result, this entire plot and story is completely meaningless. Thank you and good night. Fades to black.

35: END

36: Poetry <('.'<)

37: Random Open-minded Broken in Endless optimism Reflective True natured Real Outlandish Weird Entrusted

38: Sleep Darkness falls to earth Foreboding sleep takes to me I shall awake soon Winter Snow falls from the sky A cold sheet covers the world Till spring can arrive Sun Little sun of mine You shine your bright light on thee And remove Dark from me

39: My feel for love I love to hold you in my arms And be myself when you’re around I love how you’re affected by my charm Everything seems so gentle and sound And anything you do leaves me spell-bound If I could show you the extent of emotions I feel It would be a universe size of love that is real

40: The blind I’m scattered I cannot find the answers To anything I ask I cannot see Through this thick fog Of lies and Deceit I know I am not alone In this mist of decay You all will join me One of these days

41: The bridge of decay There once was a bridge made of clay Horses rode this bridge almost every day One day, the bridge had just about had it And it collapsed into quite a large pit Maybe people should have seen the decay

42: An Ode to something that isn’t there To the ghosts and goblins That stay in my closet And the monster that sleeps Right under my bed. The aliens that have taken And left no evidence they were there. To the things that go bumps in the night And fill all little children with fright To the fear of all types of things That aren’t really there.

43: The Clumsiest people There once was a man Who wasn’t very cool As a matter of fact, his name was Dan And he was a great big fool Dan tripped on the air He would walk into doors Got bubble gum stuck in his hair And once in a while, he would fall through floors One day, he ran into a wall and hit his head To his aid, a pretty lady came and helped him out She was very hesitant and finally said “I would really like to go out.” So they went out to a fancy diner The lady hit her accidentally hit her head, Dan never felt finer

44: Woods They surround me There is no escaping them The only things I get are mayhem They are a locked door with no key. Tons of creature are there, at least fifty Why in these woods have I been condemned These trees have reaching branches drooping from them These trees are beginning to surround me I don't know why this is happening The trees dance in the wind nights There is no aiding The trees just keep moving Closer to me, increasing their heights This forest i am in just seems maddening

45: The fallen We were the golden, envious to all Everything was great, til we got old Now we’re the fallen and that is all We were strong and ready to brawl We were nothing less then gold We were golden, envious to all We became brittle like dry wall Walking up stairs is rather bold Cause now we are the fallen and that is all We had stayed up past nightfall And listened to Rock and Roll We were the golden, envious to all Now we can barely fall And our bone may not withhold Since we are the fallen and that is all We move on now, let the new golden’s go As we recede deeper in our holes Just know that we were the golden, envious to all Now we are the fallen, forgotten by all

46: Messed up stuff The writer is a former envoy to the US and the UK, and a former editor of The News. Fighting terrorism should be like a game of chess but the US approach has been more akin to playing chequers, says Bruce Hoffman, an American scholar who has spent years studying the phenomenon. A chess-game approach means understanding the threat and enemy and being able to anticipate and thoughtfully respond to how it changes and adapts. This means a strategy that uses reason and guile, not just brute force. Chequers (known as draughts in Pakistan) becomes a one-dimensional numbers game which measures gains more by how many leaders or militants are eliminated than how the flow of recruits is retarded.

47: Where is my home? where is my home? Is it where i roam It might be where i lay my head It might be where i keep my bed This may be a syndrome does my home have a certain tone or maybe it's when I'm alone Is this a place one finds when dead? Where is my home? This may be a place to atone That's if I have sinned, who knows Maybe it's all in my head I should do something else instead but i really want to find my home Where ever my home is

48: The wrong words I never say the right things I just try to be myself Maybe I shouldn't say anything I just want to be myself I just try to be myself I only make you mad at me I just want to be myself Is there something wrong with me? I still never say the right things So maybe I shouldn't say anything

49: To my love Here's where I will be when you need me never will i leave you as long as i remain in your heart love you

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Robert Rowe
  • By: Robert R.
  • Joined: over 9 years ago
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About This Mixbook

  • Title: Anything and Everything Weird and Crazy
  • Beware of the book. It bites. And it has Rabies, H1N1, Cancer, Hepatitis B, etc.
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  • Published: about 9 years ago