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True Stories From The Mind of MrMoveHearts

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True Stories From The Mind of MrMoveHearts - Page Text Content

1: I would first like to say.... I have decided to write short stories, because I have discovered that my words have a profound effect on people. All of the stories that you will read from me will be based on true scenarios and actual events. Some of my stories will be heart felt, emotional or may bring you happiness and joy. The elements of my stories you will find to be detailed, precise and descriptive. This is my way of capturing my audience and placing them in the element of that moment, so please read and enjoy. Thank You Shawn MrMoveHearts Harris | Stories Enclosed: The Other Side: Pages 1-5 The Sex Child: Pages 6-13 A Mother Lost To Religion: Pages 14-19 Bring Me Home: Pages 20-24 Mmm..That Cupcake: Pages 25-28 War of the Hearts: Pages 29-34 | © 2012 Shawn Harris - Norfolk, Virginia

2: The Other Side | This is a true story based on my encounter with death as a four year old. | Death, Life, Resurrection, Reincarnation, The Afterlife | Written By: Shawn MrMoveHearts Harris | 1

3: The Other Side | It was a warm sunny day in Baltimore, MD, but I smelled rain in the air. When I close my eyes it almost feels like it was yesterday. The year was 1982 and I was at the innocent age of four. My mother and I hopped on the MTA bus and headed downtown to spend the day at the Inner Harbor like we often did. It was crowded there as always and I was looking forward to going to the Fudge Factory, seeing the magicians and clowns perform their acts at the weekend festival events. As my mother walked along the brick walkway bordering the murky dark waters of the harbor that had no rails, I walked slowly behind her. I can remember her looking back at me with a smile and saying, "come on Shawn we are going to miss the show!" I heard her, but I was in an innocent four year old world of my own with no worries or knowledge of the danger that would come before me. I looked down at the ground and noticed that there was a black image right where I was standing. It was amazing to me, because I had never seen or noticed it before. Gazed with astonishment, I put my arm up and the dark image put their arm up, I put both of my arms up and dark image I saw did the same thing! This image was my shadow and I loved it. I was fascinated, as this was my new discovery. | 2

4: I then decided to chase it. In my world of fiction, it was so much fun playing with my shadow, until reality hit and I felt the ground beneath my little legs disappear as I started to fall. My shadow was gone and I had no idea what was happening to me at that moment. Then that is when it happened! I felt the splash and then the cold water surround my tiny body as I was submerged in the deep, dirty waters of the Chesapeake Bay. I did not know how to swim, I was underwater and I was so scared. I remember looking up and seeing light shining on the surface of the water above me. It looked to me like diamonds, but I felt miles away. It was out of my reach and I did not know how to get to it. My infant instincts kicked in, I knew not to breathe and it felt like such a natural thing to do. A few seconds go by, then almost a minute. It felt like an eternity and I wanted this ‘not being able to breathe’ feeling to go away. I started to kick my legs and then I waved my arms. I am now a helpless four year old in a desperate fight to get to the surface, but the more I fought the deeper I went down. This huge body of water consumed me and I had no way to escape from it. My next reaction was to inhale and this would be my first stage of death that I encountered. So, then I took my first breath and the dirty, salty water filled my tiny lungs. I felt the burning sensation that many people experience in drowning when aspirating water into the lungs. My lungs felt like they were on fire, but I was still conscious at this point. | 3

5: In an instant, my tiny hands started to grab at my throat for this great body of water was chocking me to death. I felt my heart start to slow down more and more. I kicked and screamed; yelling “mommy!” while under water, but there was no sound. No one was able to hear my screams or see my tears for these waters had silenced me. My body started to jerk and twitch while I was gasping for air. The rest of the oxygen exited my little body in bubbles. My fight to stay alive was coming to an end. I continued to kick and fight in an attempt not to die. My tiny body was so weak and I was no longer able fight anymore so then, I let go. The second stage of death was my going into unconsciousness and being overcome with a sense of peace and tranquility. My little body was numb, still, lifeless and I was in another place. There was no pain, no worry, I had no body, I was at peace and it felt so good to be on the other side. I was now a spirit, free from the harshness's of the world and I no longer had to fight. I was gone and did not care to come back. At the surface, this guy walking along the harbor had seen all of the commotion and came to see what was going on. The man asked my mom “What happened!” in which she nervously replied, "My baby!, My Baby fell into the water! Please help me!" The guy then jumped in the water and went under holding his breath a few times but could not find me. He started to become fatigued, so he got out of the water to give up saying to my mother, “I am sorry, he must be too deep and I can't see anything." | 4

6: My mother then clinched on to the mans clothes as she fell to her knees, burst into tears and screamed, “No! No! Please sir! My baby! Please my baby! Don't let my baby die!” Please try one more time sir! Please!" At first, he declined and with hesitation he tried again risking his own life. He went under to try to find me as people loitered around in anticipation of my discovery. He came to the surface with my little lifeless body in his arms and there was silence from the crowd. There was no chanting or applause for my rescue for everyone knew that I had past on, because I had been underwater for so long. I had been saved! I was getting CPR and I woke up to this strange man blowing in my tiny mouth. I coughed and gagged and fought for air and then I was able to breathe! I was brought back to life! Everything from this point was extremely vivid. The stubble of the mans beard, his smoke tainted breath, people standing around me, the screaming sirens from the ambulance and mother's tears will be a fixed thought that will remain with me forever. My mother never had a chance to say thank you, because my savior disappeared into the crowed with no return. The attached photo of me was taken when I was four years old and not to long after this incident happened. Look into my eyes for this little boy has seen: The Other Side | 5

7: The Sex Child | This is a true story based on a little girls encounter and struggles with sexual abuse through out her years of youth. | Rape, Molestation, Family, Youth | Written By: Shawn MrMoveHearts Harris | 6

8: The Sex Child | The year was 1987 and I was just a little girl at the tender innocent age of just eight, without a care or worry in the world. The only thing that was of any importance to me was my Barbie dolls, playing house, the latest cartoons on television and what snack I could sneak out of the kitchen when mom wasn't looking. My younger brother who loved to play jokes was always full of laughter. We were being raised in a single household by only our mother, a result of a failed marriage with my biological father. My father came around occasionally with gifts during the holidays and just to visit. I often wished that I could have had more of his time, but he was heavily on drugs and drank a lot. I cried often, because I wished my father would have given us more of the attention that I was so hungry for. I so much wanted to share with him every element of my childhood and yearned for his fatherly love and protection. In a desperate search for love, my mother dated frequently, but never brought anyone home to meet us until that day. The vivid memories are forever embedded in my mind. It was spring of 1987, there was this guy my mother had met, he was funny, caring and he showed a great interest in getting to know me and my little brother. I finally have the father figure I needed and wanted so much. | 7

9: I was a lost little girl that had been set free and I felt complete! There was no need to have my guard up or try to protect myself for this man who I saw as a father figure brought me peace and I was so happy. He spent time with us as a family, spending the night sometimes, cooking dinner and caring for us as though we were his children. It had been years since I saw my mother smile and it almost brought me to tears to see her filled with such joy and happiness. My mother often struggled financially and instead of going to daycare we would go over our aunt's house while she was at work. Months had past and mother came to my brother and I and said, “How would you two feel about him moving in with us kids?” We smiled with happiness and replied, “Really mom? That would be great!" She said, “Yes, it will also be much better on all of us financially and we won't have to depend on your auntie to watch you two while I am at work, because he will be here.” Oblivious to what the future holds, I was bottle with excitement not knowing the darkness and pain that I would have to endure in the years to come, so I said, “That's great mom!" A couple of weeks later, he moved in. The first few months were perfect. Mom worked the night shift as an after-hours nurse and he worked during the day. My brother and I went to school during the day and he was there with us to make sure we took our baths, ate dinner, and did our homework and chores. | 8

10: The first couple of months went by and then that's when my nightmare started to play out, and the beginning of the end of my youth was here. It was a school night and I went to bed usually at 9pm sharp, because mom didn't want us to be tired for school. I was halfway asleep and I thought he was coming in to tell me good night, but he came all the way in and shut the door behind him this time which I thought was strange. He sat on my bed side where I laid and looked at me. I still had my eyes a little open so I could see him, but he thought I was sleep. He put his hand under my covers and first he rubbed my stomach and then he slowly put his hands into my panties, opened my little legs and started to rub the inside of my vagina with his fingers. I was so scared, frozen with fear and I didn't understand why this person I looked up to as a father was touching me in this way. I continued to make pretend I was sleep and what seemed like it lasted a lifetime was over with in ten minutes, then he left. I stared at the wall crying in disbelief and confusion for what he had just done has now haunted me. This lasted for a couple of months about once or twice a week as I always pretended to be sleep. One night as he did this to me I gather up enough courage to say something. With his fingers in my vagina I opened my eyes and said,“Why are you doing this to me?” I always pretended to be sleep, so he was surprised I was still awake and responded, “It' is okay for me to do this, because I am your new daddy." | 9

11: I started to cry as he continued to destroy my innocents with his twisted desires. The next morning while I was getting ready for school he said, “You better make sure you say nothing to nobody about this or else I will just say you are lying and leave here”. At my innocent age I did not want my mother to be sad or mad at me. It took her so long to find happiness and she always smiles now sense they been together. I didn't want to be the one who took this away from her, so I made the mistake of remaining silent. As the years would come, the abuse only got worse. I was eight then nine and then ten years old. He went from just touching me to giving me oral sex and forcing me to give him oral sex. I became distant, sad, and angry, not enjoying the things that once made me as a little girl so happy to be a child. My youth was being washed away like sand from a heavy summer rain. I wished that this was all a dream and I would wake up, but it was sadly reality with no way out. He promised to protect and care for us as if we were his kids. I often gazed at him and thought love is kind and it should not be like this. I always prayed that God would get rid of this sin that has been cast on me, because I felt too young to cope. I knew the day would come before the ultimate would happen, because I was getting older, so then it happened. At the age of only ten years old, he came into my room and took off my clothes. This was different than before, so I cried harder than I had ever cried this time, because I knew the horror that I would have to come to endure. | 10

12: While he wiped the tears from my face and told me not to cry he then took off his clothes and climbed on top of me. I then cried, “daddy please no, please!”. As this person who the high almighty gave life to continued my journey through this belly of darkness, he then laid his penis on my vagina and in an instant my tiny legs clenched together in a desperate fight for this torcher not to happen. He held my fragile arms down and told me if I had to cry to do it silently, so I did. He then thrust his body forward to enter me and I felt my tiny vagina tear open in excruciating pain. The joy and happiness was sucked out of me, I was devoured with weakness for my once tears of joy are now bloody tears of hurt. It was at the moment that he stripped away everything left that was pure and innocent about me. I struggled in a fight to escape this pain, but my tiny ten year old, sixty five pound body was no match to this giant of a monster that physically overcame me. Never having sex before I didn't understand what was happening to me or what this feeling was. The pain was intense as my little body wasn't ready for this. There was nothing I could do as he stole my innocents and there was no escape from this sin, so I stopped fighting, untightened my legs, tried to relax my body and ceased crying. The father that I once trusted to protect me was now destroying my youth as he was pleasing himself, and instead of being his step daughter I was now a sexual object. I was numb with no emotion or fight left in me. | 11

13: The only thing I could do was put my mind in another place, and then it was over. I felt his body tense, a gush feeling inside me, his breathing got heavy and then he was finished. He then said “go ahead and take a shower”. Barely able to walk because of the pain, I grabbed my clothes and went to the bathroom with his fluids coming out of me and running down my legs. I got into the shower and was glad to wash him off my skin. Overcome with negative emotion and total sadness, I vomited for what I had just been through was too tragic for me to cope. I looked down at my wash cloth and saw a pink color, then red. Now in disbelief I knew at that moment that I was bleeding. I fell down in the shower to cry my pain away, for my tiny womb had now been shattered. After I finished washing I still felt unclean, ashamed and overcome with sadness and hate. The next morning he was extra nice to me as I was getting ready for school. The sexual abuse went on for years and became a normal routine. Many birthdays went past, eleven, and twelve and thirteen years old I turned with nobody noticing what was going on and I told no one. I then started my period and this is when the truth would come about and set me free. He had always came inside me and there was no reason to worry about getting me pregnant until now. My mother never talked to me about periods, so I didn't know what was happening. Then it happened. Now married to my mother I am now pregnant at thirteen years of age by my own step-father. | 12

14: My mother found out about the pregnancy, got mad and blamed me for sleeping around. I knew this wasn't true, because my step father was the only one who had sex with me. My emotions ran crazy. I cried and as my heart felt as if it was racing out of my chest, I put my head down and shamefully cried,“Mommy I have something to tell you. Please don't be mad at me!” in which she replied,“Tell me who is the boy you been having sex with!” I burst into tears, fell to me knees and screamed,“No mommy, No, it's daddy's baby!”. In total shock she fell to the couch and screamed,"No!, No, No!" She didn't believe me at first and we cried together for what seemed like hours. As she held me tight without letting go she yelled, "Oh Lord, he hurt my baby, he hurt my baby!" We cried so hard and with tears running down our faces we comforted each other with hugs. In our sobbing voices I said, "I love you mommy" she said, "I love you too baby." She finally accepted the reality of the abuse after I told her everything that happened through the years. We left the house that night and this monster was now out of my life for good, but I had his child now growing inside me. I found out I was having twins, but had to have an abortion, because I was too young for children. My mother never called the police or pressed charges on him, but she will forever know that my youth had been destroyed, because this animal had stolen my innocents and made me his little sex child. | The Sex Child | 13

15: A Mother Lost To Religion | This is a true story based on my experience and views about a certain religion and how it totally consumed my mother. | Family, Cults, Grief, Religion, Shunning | Written By: Shawn MrMoveHearts Harris | 14

16: The year was 1984 in Baltimore Maryland, and my address was 5605 Lothian Road in the East Baltimore division. I was six years old and I can remember the brass handles on my mother’s dresser that was glistening in the sunlight as I was awakened to my mother’s summon. "Shawn, wake up baby, good morning", she said. I replied, "hi mommy!", and with a smile as I let out a small yawn and stretched my body across the bed. I was a happy little boy who was full of life and my joy was like a light that fills a darkest room. Mom was frolicking in a same sex relationship with who I called my God Mother at the time. They had been together for as long as I could remember and both were so happy. We all lived together and they both raised me as a family for the first six years of my life. I had always had birthday parties and my mother was always into celebrating holidays. I can remember my 4th birthday party was a Mickey Mouse theme, and I had a blue and white cream icing birthday cake. I adored birthday celebrations as any kid would, because this is what made being a child so enjoyable and exciting. There was this new religion that mom had spoken of and it was the Jehovah Witnesses Watchtower Organization. She said that there will be this group of selected people by God that would be 144,000. | A Mother Lost To Religion | 15

17: She went on to say that according to the Book of Revelation of the New World Testament, exactly 144,000 faithful Christians will be resurrected to heaven to spend eternity with God as spirit beings, or on a new paradise Earth. She wanted us to be a part of this anointed group of people. I was also told that in this after-life world everyone will be immortal, perfect and live without sin. In my current stages of innocents and ignorance this sounded great to me, but I was oblivious to what the future holds and the price I would have to pay. This would be the beginning stages of destruction of my mother. The family life I had, and holidays would come to an end as this new religion overcame my mother’s mind, body and soul. Like the beginning stages of cancer, it started to slowly eat away at her from the very beginning. The bible studies she started to conduct was her way of grooming me to help the organization spread their method of holy practice and worship. I was oblivious to these deceptive practices of recruiting people into the Jehovah Witnesses Watchtower Organization and spreading the word of what they call “The Truth”. As a child their flashy Watchtower and Awake magazines and publications that spoke of the after-life with detailed images of this new “paradise” on earth left me intrigued, but skeptical. I went along with it not knowing that I would later learn that it is really an orchestrated cult. My God mother did not agree or want to have anything to do with this new religion so their relationship ended. | 16

18: Celebrating holiday’s, owning a US flag, same sex relationships, blood transfusions, organ transplants, associating with people outside of the religion, fornication, adultery, cremation was prohibited and you were required in a sense to be this perfect person in an imperfect world. Anyone who is recruited into the organization and deemed a baptized member or pioneer who violates the rules is considered traders, outcast, turning their backs on God or Jehovah. These people were required to be disfellowshiped and shunned away by anyone that was a member of this carefully coordinated cult. The problem is that they don’t tell their members this initially until they have you brainwashed in. At school I became they boy who couldn’t stand up during the pledge of allegiance, who couldn’t go trick or treating, that didn’t have Thanksgiving dinner, have birthday parties or receive Christmas gifts. All of my remnants’ of joy are now disaster and I thought to myself, what am I supposed to do. To me as a child this was what I considered to be a curse, and it went on to haunt me in the rest of my youth years. Throughout the years as I got older and more prudent, I learned of this religion’s false prophecies of Armageddon, end of life for all mankind or what they call “the last days” were putting there members of the organization in a zombie like state. They wanted to do nothing more than study this religion and spread their beliefs shunning everyone it their path that doubts or wants no part of it. | 17

19: People who they solicited that didn’t wish to become a member of this organization were considered a part of Satan, unworthy, unholy, ignorant and stupid. They were laughed at, ignored and named worldly. Their word of God was considered sacred and the only true method in honoring Jehovah. Now in my adulthood, I have come to realized that my mother has completely fallen into this brew of religion. I am overstruck with sadness and my invisible tears flow like a child in need of love. I am a father of four and I am embarrassed, ashamed, disappointed and angry with how this religion has consumed a mother to where they can persistently avoid their offspring. I can only hope that in another time or another place we can be united again, because I couldn’t love her more if I tried. I am now an adult and decided that I too want nothing to do with this religion. Throughout the years of my adult hood things are worse than they have ever been before. It is like having a love one with Alzheimer’s disease. She is unable to relate socially and is oblivious to the realities of the outside world we live, and the flesh she is in. Being hypnotized, fixated and totally consumed to this religion, she is no longer able to comprehend the realities of common sense, and is intensely irrational in her attempts to persuade people who don't agree in these practices. | 18

20: A Mother Lost To Religion | 19 | Family, togetherness, love, happiness and having a relationship to anything or anyone outside of this religion are no longer of any importance, for the word and practices of the Jehovah Witness Watchtower Organization is all that is relevant. People’s opinions about other forms of religions, beliefs, views and criticisms about their practices is deemed satanic and unholy, for the Jehovah Witness Watchtower Organization is the superior word of truth. I ask myself, how can a mother abandon us over religion? How can a person who gave life to us shun their young? How could you have done that to us and how could you be so careless? I wanted to look up to you. I really trusted you with every word you said. I have been taken to this belly of darkness and overcome with hopelessness and despair. I have seen some suffering in my life, and nothing has ever been perfect, but this was the ultimate for me. I wonder if this grief will ever let me go. The Jehovah Witness Watchtower Organization and their practices have woven itself into the fabric of my mother’s life, and she has been a member for over 30 years. I have been down a long rugged road throughout life’s struggles, and I can only make a promise to myself and my children that I will never do this to them. Though she is still alive and in the flesh here on earth I consider her a walking corpse, and I have unconsciously laid her to rest, for she will forever be a mother lost to religion.

21: Bring Me Home | Heaven, Passing, Sacrifice, Rebirth | A true story about my emotions and struggles that I have with being in this life. | Written By: Shawn MrMoveHearts Harris | 20

22: As I lay awake at night thinking of my troubles and worries, I find myself in overwhelming thoughts as to why I am here in this flesh and what my purpose on Earth is. I feel like in this time the ground is full of broken stones, and that the last leaf has fallen. I have nowhere to turn now as I am in this heavy population, but yet I feel so alone. I gape at the ceiling where I lay and I am in despair as I reach for an inner power to get me through the rest of the night. I am in a world of sin, a place of negativity with no remorse or forgiveness. I know that even though the sun will soon light the skies above, the dawn holds the heaviness of the night. I find myself in a deep fascination of notion as how things would be in an afterlife world or resurrection of the soul into a new flesh. I can remember being a child and taking my youth for granted, hoping that time would go by swiftly, so I could be to my adulthood. I am now drowning in this big old town of maturity as I find myself thirsty to have the innocents and purity that I once had. I live in this world that I didn’t choose and it hurts like brand new shoes. I turn on the television in a desperate search for positivity or an uplifting subject. I hope there is news of children born without deformities or birth related issues, people overcoming diseases or someone’s life being spared. | Bring Me Home | 21

23: Instead all that I see is that another life has been lost in crime, families suffering from starvation, children being abused, the homeless that have no place to go, casualties of war, another media message from the government in reiterations of how our economy is in such financial crisis, and talks of soaring gas prices and rising unemployment rates. There is land from miles on end, but yet I am claustrophobic to this world that has come closing in, and I know that I have lost again. I open my window and glance out at the heavens with a look of question and think to myself who or what else is out there, and if there a place of peace, with total happiness, free of sin and saturated with purity. I take a deep breath, close my eyes and imagine I can fly away to another place or galaxy where the harshness’s from man here on planet Earth do not exist. Like dogs caged at a puppy mill, I am starving for this great escape, and unconsciously cry out in silence and desperation of my ransom, as I want to be set free. Similar to The Holocaust of World War II in the mass murder of six million Jews, we are in a nation that has been overcome with uprooted evil, poverty, bloodshed, war, famine, hate and disease. We all are born in innocents and are ultimately and unwittingly corrupt with the polluted ways of society, the government and the life of mankind. Like the effects of radiation on the human body, I am overcome with exhaustion from the many that have lost their genuineness in friendship, family, loyalty and as great people to one another. | 22

24: There are so many around me who are opportunist and want togetherness only if there is a sweet gain. I wish I could peel away all of the sin that has been cast on me, and have every lasting happiness and peace. Like a star that has burned out, I have lost my light and often have daunting feelings that my demise is the only road to total redemption. Just like celebrating a love ones home coming, I want to be put on a plate with petals and a fire and sent out to sea. As a child I have held hands with death and now I often wonder how things could be if I was united with my fate once again. When I was on the other side, I was free from the evil of this world and was a spirit released to another time with no sin, hurt or suffering. Send me to slaughter and lay me on the railway line, because I am far away from God are visions of my salvation. I ask myself what happened to honoring and cherishing life, being grateful, appreciating the ones who are around you and not taking for granted the things that we have that can be taken away from us in an instant, such as life and happiness. I often feel as though I am the only one mixed in with this brew of society that has lost that, so why should I continue to hold on. The afterlife may in fact be the only true life, instead of what is defined as life currently in the flesh as we know today. In my mind none of us are alive, and are actually the walking dead, but yet we have been programmed through society and human nature to fight and embrace it. I look into the mirror and can see the raven in my eyes, as the memories and emotions run deep. | 23

25: I am petrified to what negativity and sin I have already witnessed in this world and the things that are still to come. It’s down rugged road I have come, and my children are what makes the light that I have lost ignite again and keeps it shining bright, but in the back of my mind I am unconsciously hungry for eternal rest. If I had the tide take me I won't fight, because I’ve cried the tears. I feel so close but yet I am far away from God. I consider myself meek and unselfish in my journey through this life, so I continue to cherish what joy and embrace the love few have for me. I know that through the suffering here on Earth, we are all God's people, and I shale one day be a part of the fallen that will rise again. The children to whom which I gave life unknowingly support my enter strength, but when I sometimes sit and sigh through my emotions, I know in my heart I should be in another place and that the high almighty should bring me home. | Bring Me Home | 24

26: Mmmm.. That Cupcake | This is a true story based on a time when I had the ultimate craving for a snack. | Cravings, Sweet Tooth, Comfort Food | Written By: Shawn MrMoveHearts Harris | 25

27: As, I am in a deep relaxation on my couch watching my favorite show, I am struck with the thought of sweetness. Overwhelmed with boredom I am consumed in a daydream and wonder over what this feeling is. In a daze I continued watching TV, one minute, two minutes and then three. Time passes and I find myself frustrated in trying to sort out this emotion. As my sweet tooth takes a hold of me, I have to find out what can suppress this need. I go into the kitchen and think to myself maybe some Oreo's or some graham crackers will do then think to myself, that's not it. I drag my feet while walking back to the couch with my head hanging low in disappointment to sit back down and then it hits me! The thought of sweetness that I been feeling has been my craving for a cupcake. Where can I find that perfect cup cake? Not just any cupcake, but the ultimate cupcake. I need a cupcake that can knock down this consuming desire of sweetness. Seven Eleven! That's it! There is where my cupcake is. I run upstairs to get my shoes, but where are my keys? In excitement I search for my wallet and then dash out the door in a rage. Seven eleven is just right down the street so I hop in my truck, put the key in the ignition and race off to go and get it. As I am driving, I feel my craving take a hold of me, my blood sugar is getting low and I need this suppression of sweetness fast. I think to myself which flavor shale I choose when I get there. | Mmmm.. That Cupcake | 26

28: Should I get the red velvet cupcake with cream cheese icing or the chocolate cupcake with vanilla icing? I have my mind set on the red velvet cupcake. I pull into the parking lot and hop out of the truck with a big smile for this sweet tooth of mine will soon be satisfied. I go into to seven eleven and walk over the cold food section and find myself in a panic to weather they are in stock. Then I spot them. Yes they have them! I grab one and head to the check out. Filled with joy I head back to my truck to go home, because I need to eat this cupcake now. I pull into my driveway, put the truck in parked and glanced over at my cupcake while saying, "oh yeah you are mine as soon as we get in the house". I then get into the house and slam the door behind me as I lightly jog to the kitchen. Like a barbarian I rip open the plastic dome that houses and protects the cupcake, but I don't eat it yet. This large dense, decadent, moist cupcake needs a little work before I can devourer it. I place it in the microwave to increase the softness and enhance texture. The timer on the microwave begins to count down and I wait patiently 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 beep! Yes, it's done! I grab a napkin and head to the living room to enjoy this tasty snack, but wait. I don't want any disturbances while I am in my moment, so I put my cell phone on vibrate, close the curtains and make sure no one is around. | 27

29: With my cupcake in front of me I pick it up gently like a newborn baby and peel the waxed paper from off of it. It's the moment I have been waiting for and now is the time to suppress this sweet craving. Drooling in anticipation I gaze at the cupcake while in my hand like a lion stalking it's prey, then I sinks my teeth in. As I chew my first bite slowly then swallow I am thinking to myself this cupcake is delicious. I lick my lips then bite off another piece over and over again until it is gone, but it's not over yet. I still have melted cream cheese icing I have to eat from around my fingers. I clean them with my tongue like a starving dog licks their steak. Filled with satisfaction and happiness I am now relaxed for my need of sweetness has now been suppressed. Like craving a cigarettes after sex, I made my way to the kitchen to get me an ice cold drink to wash this tasty cupcake down. As I feel my blood sugar rise I sigh with overwhelming feelings of relief and lightly whisper to myself, Mmmm..That cupcake. | Mmmm.. That Cupcake

30: Written By: Shawn MrMoveHearts Harris | War of the Hearts | Friends, First Love, Simplicity | This is a true story based on a time when I experienced genuine friendship that lead to true love in my years of youth. | 29

31: It was the fall season of 1992 and I had never been in love before. The weather was chilly outside, and I remember the leaves blowing in the wind as I made my way to work at a local restaurant where I served as a dishwasher. At the innocent age of only fourteen, I kind of understood what relationships meant, but never felt like I was in love. I always had girlfriends growing up, but never had an in-love connection with any of them. One day walking along the street where I frolicked, a friend of mine pointed at a house and said, “Hey Shawn, there is this girl that just moved into that house, and she will be going to our school this year.” I glanced over to this little cottage and saw a girl that came outside onto the porch with a white dog that ran behind her. She so innocently smiled and said, “Hi, how are you?” It was funny, because I had never noticed this home before, but now it seemed to me to be the only house on that street. I thought to myself, “That big old smile of hers was the happiest thing I had seen in a while, and could turn a wind into a song." With no physical attraction or expectations at first, I walked up to her porch and introduced myself saying, “Hey, I’m Shawn.” My friend who showed me this house came over to join us as we discussed the excitement of our upcoming school year. She invited us into her house where we sat in the living room laughing and listing to music. | War of the Hearts | 30

32: We talked about our likes and dislikes, and for some reason I didn’t want her to stop talking. I was fascinated with her sweetness, the innocents of her voice and the purity of her soul. It was like a drug that I couldn’t get enough of, and I needed more. I had made a new friend, and was glad to have someone I could talk to and that I had so much in common with. She had rescued me and I felt that I breathed her air. I would come over to visit about three or four times a week with friends or alone. It didn’t matter how I spent time with her as long as we shared the same room. This lasted a couple of months and we became very close, almost inseparable, but our relationship hadn’t turned intimate just yet. We shared with each other our happiness, fears, secrets, troubles and worries. We were both in an age of innocents, brew of guiltlessness, and accepted each other whole heartedly. I went on a trip to Maryland to visit family and friends for a week. I was excited as I was leaving, because I missed being home so much and couldn’t wait to be united with my loved ones again. After a few days in Maryland, I started to think about her, but didn’t understand why. These thoughts were far from just being somewhat, but immense notions and lingering reminiscences, and I couldn’t get this missing somebody so much sensation to go away. I didn’t understand what this feeling was, or why this was happening to me, and I couldn’t tell anyone how I felt. | 31

33: I became quiet in general conversations, and totally consumed on the thought of just being with her, but I was in Maryland and she was in Virginia. Like a child’s encounter with separation anxiety, I was emotionally starving for her company, her smile and the sound of her voice. There would be several more days that would go by before I returned back to Virginia. I waited patiently for the days and nights to go by, and found myself fixed in daydreams about being united with her again. The drive back to Virginia was intense, and seemed like it lasted a lifetime. I dozed off in the car and dreamed about her as I was sleeping. I woke up, and silently cried out to myself, “What is this feeling? It hurts, but it feels so good!” We were only a few miles away from my house, and I felt as if I wanted to scream, but I remained quiet. About ten minutes had past, and we were approaching my driveway. When we got there I gave my relative a kiss and said, “Thank you for taking me back home to visit.” I then jumped out of the car, ran to my front porch, and busted in the house. Similar to newborn baby’s yearning for attention from their parents, I screamed in quietness as I wanted to be together with her again. My only thoughts were that I had to get to her, and fast, because I missed her so much. We only lived five blocks away, so I gave my mom a kiss and dashed out the door. “Where are you going? You just got home!” she said. | 32

34: With a smile on my face and filled with joy I said, “I love you mom, but I have to go see my friend!” She laughed and said “Okay call me, and be home before 9pm!” My emotions were loaded like a gun and I didn’t know where to point this thing. I got to her house, and we gave each other the greatest hug ever. Like morphine to a dying patient’s pain, I felt an overpowering sense of relief. As we embraced, she looked into my eyes with the biggest smile and said, “I have missed you so much.” I then said, “I’ve miss you too. How have you been?” I knew that one of us would have to make the peace in this masquerade of emotions that we were both feeling. She was astonished to see me, but I could immediately tell something was wrong when I got there. With a sturdy urge to provide protection from what was bothering her, I anxiously said, “What's wrong? I can tell something is wrong!” In her sobbing voice, she held her head down and shamefully said, “I don’t have that much food. My mom has been gone for a couple of days and didn’t leave me with any money to buy something to eat.” Keeping my emotions together, and remaining strong, I held back my tears. As she started to cry, I wiped her face and gave her another hug. We sat down on the couch and I said, “I will buy you some food okay, and don’t you worry, I will look out for you from now on.” She cried even harder, looked at me in disbelief and said, “Thank you so much. I don’t know what I would do without you.” She came closer to me, we clenched each other's hands as we looked into each other's eyes, then we shared our first kiss. | 33

35: The passion and energy from our kiss was like nothing I had ever experienced before. It was not about lust or sexual gratification, but about genuinely caring for each other. We were both drowning in a big pool of simplicity and didn’t have anything to loose. We were only fourteen years old and naive, but for the first time ever, we witnessed the love that we had for each other unfold. We both knew how important this was and what we meant to each other. In my heart, I felt cared about and knew that she would bleed for me. I couldn’t breathe or sleep without her, and it was at that time I understood that I was in love. She was now the girl that I was proud to call mine. We both realized that our feelings for each other extended much more beyond friendship, and it was considered special. It should be a sin for love to hurt like this and it felt like a bullet that has been sent my way, but I wanted to be shot. We unconsciously knew all along that we were in love, but was in denial like war of the hearts. This is what I considered to be my first true love, and set forth the foundation of the great man I am today, and totally defines my character regarding love and relationships. I want to thank you for making my love experience in one of the most delicate and innocent times of my life one to cherish and remember, forever and always. | 34 | War of the Hearts

37: Thanks for reading and I hope that you enjoyed my stories. | Yours Truly Shawn MrMoveHearts Harris | © 2012 Shawn Harris - Norfolk, Virginia | Fifty percent of profits will go to support: Childhelp which is an organization that assist in the prevention and treatment of child abuse. Visit: National Child Abuse Hotline: 1-800-4-A-CHILD

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  • By: Shawn
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  • Title: True Stories From The Mind of MrMoveHearts
  • True Stories, Non-Fiction
  • Tags: death, life, youth, True Stories, funny, sad, honest, love, family
  • Published: over 5 years ago