FC: Ask Not What Your Body Can Do For You, But What You Can Do For Your Body.
1: Day One Dear Diary, Today I started a new diet and exercise plan so I can maintain my shape, thought logging it in my diary would help me keep track. So, today at breakfast, I'm eating an English Muffin with butter (120), two pancakes (260), some orange juice (110), and a cafe mocha with 2% milk (260). Then, for lunch, I'll treat myself to Subway with a ham & cheese sandwich (540), some Potato Chips (150), and some water (0). After that I'm going bowling with the family for the afternoon, hopefully I'll win, I mean come on, I'm the president. That'll take about an hour and a half, should get about 240 calories burned. Then off to the dining hall for dinner, looks like we're having steak (392) and salad (250), I'll drink some beer (145) with it to show Jr. how to be a man. P.S. Going to Dallas next week, this'll help me look good.
2: Day Two Dear Diary, It's the second day of my diet and I have a new best friend. Subway. I swear to you it's the only thing that can fill me up without the calories. Which is what good friends do. Anyways, for breakfast I am having 2 Bacon, Egg, and Cheese breakfast sandwiches (400), and again, some orange juice (220). Later I'm going to have a little guilty pleasure that I like to call a Pretzel Dog (360) along with some lemonade (120) for lunch. It's probably best that I have a light lunch, I'm going to be doing laps in the pool for an hour today and burn quite a few calories. If my experts are correct that should be around 455 which is awesome because that'll give me room for my favorite snack (a Snack Pack  and a fruit cup ). I got a nanny for tonight so I can take Jaqueline out, were going to have some lobster (540) and some wine (160), it's gonna be nice to get out of the office. P.S. Secret Service isn't happy that I keep leaving the top down on the car.
3: Day Three | Dear Diary, We've come to day three of this new nutrition plan. Going to start the day off right with some Honey Nut Cheerios (258) and a banana (105)......Woohoo. I have a tennis match with J. Edgar Hoover after breakfast (990 Burned). Winner buys lunch. I'm thinking a Chick-Fil-A sandwich doesn't sound half bad after a glorious victory. Crack a Dos Equis with that and I'm running about 480. Jackie said she wants to have Italian night, that means I'll be having about 4 slices of pizza (600) along with an italian salad (35) some coke zero (o) and then Jackie made my favorite dessert. A Bavarian desert cake. I'll have a piece of that and that'll be about 340. It should be a good day. p.s. They put a phone in my office so now Khruschev can call me when ever he wants. Who's stupid idea was that?!
4: Day Four | Dear Diary, Khruschev kept me up all night talking about Berlin. At least I think it was Berlin....That accent is a bitch to understand. Jesus. Needless I was much too tired to make breakfast so I had the secret service pick me up a breakfast burrito and a new carton of apple juice. That started me at about 744 calories. After breakfast we're headed for the lake to do some sailing. I'll have to be in charge since Jackie doesn't know the first thing about sailing. That should burn off about 660 calories. There should be fajitas waiting for us when we're done on the lake, Sounds good right? That'll be about 520 calories and then some sprite zero. Then it's back to the White House for a dinner of the always delicious KFC. 4 drumsticks, a biscuit, and some diet dr. pepper later i had another 660 calories in me. p.s. I really hate commies. A lot. they make my life hell.
5: Day Five Dear Diary, It's day five. I just want this week to over so I can be Dallas for this parade. It'll be a good booster for my campaign. As for the diet plan, Today I'm starting the day with 3 blueberry buttermilk pancakes and a cranberry fruit cocktail juice. That will start me off at about 908 calories, that's a lot, but it should keep me full for a while. It should give energy for my boxing match with Bobby Kennedy today. If he fights like a man i should burn off about 1,205 calories. After that I'll make Bobby get me a burger at DQ for lunch. It'll be another 590 calories, but after boxing I'll need the nutrients. I'll take the rest of the afternoon to get up to speed on the deteriorating situation Vietnam, then have a Dr Pepper 10 (10), A Hot Dog (400) and watch a little TV. P.S. Fidel just called, he's apparently still pissed about the Bay of Pigs ordeal. I swear all he ever does is complain.
6: Day Six Dear Diary, Only two more days left and then this nutrition/exercise plan is done. Today I'm starting off with a small breakfast, just a bagel (340), a grapefruit (105), and a cappuccino (190). Before the game against the Johnson's I'm gonna grab lunch, some rotisserie chicken (310) and an angry orchard (200). But after lunch the Johnson's will be destroyed like communism, in our annual baseball game. I'm playing 1st base which will burn off about 943 calories. Then after the Kennedy's long standing domination streak is over it should be just about time for dinner, the misses is thinking Chinese, mongolian beef (200), white rice (200), two spring rolls (320), and a fortune cookie of course (32). That should be enough for the day, talk to you tomorrow morning. P.S. I was trying to be sweet and sew a tear in Jackies dress but cut myself and got blood on it. She said not to do it again, I guess I won't be sewing anytime soon.
7: Day Seven Dear Diary, Day seven, last day. Flying over to Dallas today so I'm feeling kind of nervous for tomorrows parade but confident, so confident I'm going to have Micky D's for breakfast; an Egg McMuffin (450), hash browns (139), and then some orange juice (110). Then pack some and have a quick lunch something simple like a chicken and pesto sandwich (384), potato chips (150), and Fresca Citrus soda (4). Maybe this'll show the public I'm an average Joe. No exercise for the day since I'm leaving, but my trainer said walking through the airport should still burn 235 calories, so that's pretty decent. On Air Force One the sushi is phenomenal so I'm going to have some of that; 6 California Rolls (250), 4 Spicy Tuna Rolls (100) and some Sparkling Lime Water (0). Well thanks diary, you've helped me keep fit for my trip, maybe we can do this again sometime. By now. Final P.S. My fortune cookie last night said "Beware the grassy knoll" I have no idea what that means.