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Bunny's Great Sparkly Moon Book: year one without my Dragon

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BC: thus ends the first year of my life, my world, without my Dragon.. the Great S parkley Moon Book is just getting started. Book Two, Year Two is forthcoming. womanNshadows aka Bunny | all photos taken by womanNshadows aka abandonedsouls, aka Bunny. all rights reserved

FC: Bunny's Great Sparkly Moon Book a book of sorrow & longing & hope a book about a Bunny's quiet vigil in communion with the moon

1: Beach Bunny was married to a Dragon of a man for some lovely, loving years. but then he died quite suddenly on the might of a full moon. now Bunny communes with the moon. she stares at it. she talks to it. she sits silently before it, humbly asking for it to give her some sign that her Dragon-dear is up there waiting for her. it is a quiet little vigil that happens all the time, waxing or waning moon, but religiously on the night of the full moon.

2: and when there is no moon outside for her to see, she calls up the one that shone down on her, on them the night her Dragon, her beloved, was taken away. this is the moon that started it all.

3: "i'm standing on the moon, with nothing left to do, with a lonely view of Heaven, but i'd rather be with you." -- unknown

4: incapable. i was incapable of keeping time. i was incapable of sleep. i was incapable of waiting for the first full moon after he died.

5: the first full moon since he died. the clouds seemed to sense my despair and tried to hide it but then they felt my anguish that i might miss it, so they parted, and gave me this. | March 11, 2009

6: April moon i could not wait.. rain storms coming. the glowing haze around my moon proved the forecast was correct. | without a true full moon in April i am out early taking photos, searching for him, too soon and yet the moon is mine whatever its phase

7: May 9, 2009 | June 7, 2009 | July 7, 2009 | the months pass and i cry. how do you say goodbye when you don't know it will be for the last time? or how do you reconcile yourself to the last time you said good-night when it was your last? was it good enough?

8: August 6, 2009 his birthday was yesterday. happy birthday, my Dragon, my love in 2 days it will be 6 months. the 11th will be our wedding anniversary. such a wonderful month before his died. such a harrowing month now that he is gone. | September 1, 2009 another month that rains threatens my full moon. the vigil must continue. the private conversations i have with him will not be broken. | i am so cold. i started feeling cold in the hospital when i was allowed to sit with him before the funeral home people came for him. i cannot get warm, even though the summer down here where i live now was hot. i was cold. do you think maybe Sylvia Plath was just cold?

9: October 4, 2009 so beautiful and so remote November 2, 2009 "hi, moon, how are you? i'm not fine.. i would like to have him back. please. most sincerely, me." December 2, 2009 can you hear me? can you see me? do you still want me as much as i want you? are you lonely?

10: December 23, 2009 alone with the moon. Christmas is coming and i feel lost, empty, my color all washed away. are you happy? are you at peace? do you wish we were together?

11: December 24, 2009 Christmas Eve, my love. i am going to bed early and hope you come to me in my dreams. that's the only place i feel like life is real.

12: December 25, 2009 i spend Christmas Day alone. which means i am spending it with you. silence reigns and that is fine because then i can almost hear your voice. children call, but i am alone. alone is how i'll be i'll live this life like this for now, until you come for me.

13: December 31, 2009 the Blue Moon the year my Dragon died closes. time is both friend and enemy. the more it passes, the longer has been since i touched him. the more it passes, the closer i come to being with him again.

14: so ends part 1 of the Great Sparkly Moon Book 2009 the shock of his death is wearing off. oh, this awful pain because the shock of his awful death is wearing off. no more cushion from the fog. he is really gone. Bunny is alone. no more love. no more laughter. no more Dragon. | "and so much pain my dazzled eyes refused to see." Bunny loves him. she loves him so. she really, really wishes that he hadn't had to go.

15: the Great Sparkly Moon Book 2010 begins "Grief was a place...where a person went alone. It was like a room without doors, and what happened in that room, all the anger and the pain you felt, was meant to stay there, nobody's business but yours. -- Justin Cronin

16: he taught me all i knew about love | January 30, 2010

17: January 30, 2010 midnight "i see the moon and the moon sees me. the moon sees the one that i long to see. God bless the moon and God bless me. God bless the one that i long to see."

18: February 16, 2010 | it starts | February 17, 2010

19: February 18, 2010 | February 19, 2010

20: February 20, 2010 | February 21, 2010

21: February 22, 2010 | February 23, 2010

22: worrisome rain and then

24: February 28, 2010 the first year of his absence is marked. the first full moon of the month in which he died. and still the moon keeps its secrets from me.

25: i look up and i see dragons dragons are all i see | if i wish on a dragon cloud hard enough will my Dragon come back to me?

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Susan Rabickow
  • By: Susan R.
  • Joined: over 8 years ago
  • Published Mixbooks: 3
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About This Mixbook

  • Title: Bunny's Great Sparkly Moon Book: year one without my Dragon
  • Beach Bunny's Dragon died on the night of the full moon ~ 8 February 2009. she keeps a vigil with the moon now, every phase, waning and waxing, but mostly, she gazes at the Full Moon. it calls to her. she hopes to see her Dragon there.
  • Tags: death of husband, dragon, full moon, widowhood
  • Published: over 8 years ago