S: Adoption Record
BC: cCreated with love, humor and make-believe! I love you! Joanie 2010
FC: The Adoption Process of Little German Girl born on July 10,1956
1: To Little Baby German Girl Where did you come from baby dear? From outer space and into here. Where did you get your one eye so brown and the other so blue? Out of the atmosphere as you came through. What makes the light in them sparkle and spin? From the drugs I was taking while you were within. What makes your forehead protrude as it does? Oh, from when I fell on my stomach when I was buzzed! Where did you get those arms and one hand? From that derelict who sang in the LSD band. How did you become to be you? The devil thought about me and then you grew. And how did you come to us, my dear? We just don't know but we live in fear! Love, Mommy Dearest
2: Birth Paremts. The Dinkerhaufs
3: s | Announcing to the World Born to: Helmute &Helga Dinkerhauf Baby's Name: Berta Beata Dinkerhauf Born July 10, 1956 at 6:45 a.m. (full moon) at Diagnoseklinik Muchen. Weight: 15lbs, 13 ozs. Length: 10 inches Physician: Doktor Mediziner Nurse: Nursen Krankenpfleger
4: Congratulations received from Max Metzger & Porken Frankenfurter
5: Berta Beata's First Visitors Adalwolfa, Crotchilda, Bertilda (Bertilda is Berta Beata's Namesake)
6: Records of Interest Color Eyes: 1 blue, 1 brown Baby's First Toy: Ugly German doll named Hazel First Smile: None First Tooth: Age 3 days First Shoes: Combat Boots First Stood Alone: Age 9 First Word: Shheisse
7: Berta seemed to have a lot of unusual rage inside her so she was baptized as soon as possible to see if that would help her spirit get rid of all that anger.
8: Little Berta getting ready for her baptism! Isn't she just adorable!
9: Bishop of Frankfurt Cathedral loses thumb during baptism During the baptism of Berta Beata the demonic child bit the thumb off of Bishop Claus Holivater! Berta Beata was handed over to be dunked for Jesus and as soon as they got the little bugger to the Baptismal pool, Berta Beata went into rage and within seconds the child's fangs | were attached to the Bishop's thumb. The Bishop was screaming out to the Lord in pain. He was commanding the demon to come out of the child. Seconds later the baby plunked into the pool with the Bishop's severed thumb in it's mouth. Brother Finkelstub was sitting nearby and wrestled the infant out of the water and proceeded to pry the Bishop's bloody appendage out of its mouth. He immediately tossed it to the nearest person who happened to be Sister Augusta VanCreepencrap. As a former nurse she instinctively popped it into her mouth and ran to the kitchen where she spit it into the freezer. The Bishop's thumb was reattached successfully and little Berta Beata was sent to institution in the United States to Minnesota.
10: Berta Beata was terribly missed by her favorite aunts in Germany. They are actually a lesbian couple who really wanted to adopt her but the German officials denied their request and thought she would do better in the institution in Minnesota. Adelhinder and Siegfredarump will always remember Berta Beata!
11: Berta Beata stayed in the institution for two years and was successfully exorcised. Her teeth were fixed with sedation implant dentistry after removing her fangs. She also received lasik eye surgery to get rid of those horrid glasses. Berta Beata was trained in etiquette and became a very nice little girl. However her German parents and not to mention the country of Germany were not interested in having her return. A nice Minnesota Couple decided to adopt the poor little thing. She was adopted by Clifford & Marcella Mottaz
12: Berta Beata was adopted by the Mottaz couple and started her new life with them.
13: Berta Beata seemed happy with her new parents and siblings.
14: Berta's name was changed to Roberta Lea by the Mottaz'. She seemed to be a very sweet girl and eventually entered Catholic school
15: Roberta Lea became a sweet little girl and adored her new family but a few years after starting Catholic school she got in with the wrong crowd.......
16: Roberta Lea was doing well until she reached the 8th grade at Sacred Heart School. She began violating the uniform rules to show a little skin. She was caught shooting up heroin in the boy's bathroom. With the help of Sister Mary Backhand and Mr. Spankenkeester (the guidance counsellor), Roberta managed to graduate that year.
17: Years later Roberta became a model for Marcella's Secret. That did not go over well with the family and they asked her to quit her modeling. The church was very angry with her and Father Libideux Johson said she should come to his private quarters at least twice a week to confess and repent.
18: Robert Lea did change her ways and did more appropriate modeling. She received her training for this respectable modeling at the Home For Wayward Models.
19: Roberta became a very lovely young woman and began to turn her life around by becoming an outstanding citizen who helped many people in her community. She met a wonderful German fellow at The Germans for Reggae in Berlin taskforce meeting. Many people felt this cause was a little over the wall. Roberta and Dinker Fatterpacker decided to marry so Roberta bought that beautiful dress she modeled. Unfortunately, the groom jilted her. So Sad! Needless to say, Roberta found another fine man named Jeffried Starkenheimer and lived happily ever after.