S: Princess Bella and the Peanut Butter Coat
BC: In loving memory of kitty Pasha. | Miss B publishing house - 2011 Laura Johnson firstname.lastname@example.org
FC: Princess Bella and the Peanut Butter Coat
1: Once upon a time there was a little princess named Bella. She lived in a middle class neighborhood on the West side of Vancouver. Her castle was a bit on the small side and it only had one servant, but she was okay with it.
2: She wasn't your average princess. She liked to chew on bark, drink out of Tony's glass, and choose her own food in the fridge.
3: The princess also liked to choose other people's food when they weren't looking. Even if they were looking she didn't care. This was her castle, and she was a princess.
4: The princess loved her freedom and she made the best of it (when the servant was sleeping of course). She had parties all night long, she played on the computer, and she made prank calls to India.
5: One day, while the princess was at the spa getting her usual manicure, facial and body wrap, something went terribly wrong. She was given a haircut that was meant for a middle class poodle!
6: And if the haircut wasn't bad enough, there were plenty of other embarrassing events that she would rather forget about!
7: The princess wasn't really a people's cat . In fact, she only tolerated house guests. If anyone came near her (especially little kids) out came the boxing gloves! Her swats and 'shovel hook' punches worked like a charm. Sometimes, for a more dramatic effect, the fangs came out. Everyone thought she was such a sweet princess but in reality, she was as fierce as a lion - & birdies, moths & neighbors were terrified!
8: One morning while the princess was contemplating life and just about to doze off, she noticed a beautiful black coat laying on the floor. She walked over so she could get a closer look. Not only was it soft and puffy like a cat bed, but it smelled just like peanut butter. The princess LOVED peanut butter! Now, in this castle, everything on the floor is free game. Without further adieu, the princess climbed onto the coat and fell fast asleep......
10: The princess started dreaming that she was royalty and could wear the most beautiful hats ever! She also ruled every floor in the castle - not just the 6th floor. And never again did she have to run after moths and birdies, except for entertainment. She also had tons of money so she could buy all the bling, tweets, and catnip she wanted. She even bought a Starbucks card for Lattes.
11: The little princess loved the peanut butter coat so much she would sleep on it for hours...sometimes days.. The only thing that would get her off the coat was the sound of the tweet bag opening, or little kids coming over.
12: Even though the princess was happy, she wouldn't let it show...because a little 'Catitude' goes a long way!
13: "If animals could speak the dog would be a a blundering outspoken fellow, but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much." ~ -Mark Twain
14: The princess was a beautiful little kitty and she knew it. One thing she couldn't stand though was people taking her picture. She would either look in the opposite direction, or make a nasty face at the camera.
15: This is why the princess loved her peanut butter coat so much. She could go lay down and pretend she was sleeping and nobody would bother her. She also loved the smell of the peanut butter and wished she could find the source.
16: Some might think that the princess loved the peanut butter coat so much because it was super soft and cozy. | Others might think she was drawn to the strong smell of peanut butter. | But in reality, the peanut butter coat was an escape from her stressful princess life . One can only take so much cuddling, baby talk, and brushy-brushy!
17: We won't even mention all the other times where taunting and teasing went on behind the scenes! The peanut butter coat became her sanctuary, a place to get away from it all. Because even a little princess needs a time out once in awhile.
18: And so, the peanut butter coat stayed on the floor and the little princess continued to spend many a night dreaming about Starbucks and bling. After all, this was her 'happy place'. And the servant didn't have the heart to move it or take it away. Eventually the little princess would get bored of it, like she does with everything else. For now, this was her own little Occupy movement. The End.
19: "Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made the slave of the lash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with a cat it would improve man, but it would deteriorate the cat." ~ Mark Twain