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S: A Quarter Century of Debauchery

FC: A Quarter Century of Debauchery Starring Billy P, Jules (of the Jules Annual), Maria, Sander, Tim and Wrex!

1: Wrex | Jules | Sander | Tim | Maria | Billy P

56: Twas the Night before a White Trash Christmas Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house Not a creature was stirring, not even my pet snake The laundry was hung all over the sofa with care In hopes that Santa would bring Mrs Claus to wash that shit. The children were all sleeping, tucked under the bed While visions of not getting beaten danced in their bruised heads. And mamma in her sweatsuit, and me in my beater, Had just shotgunned a Laker and smoked a big heater. When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, I grabbed my gun to see what was the matter. Away to the window I flew like the Flash, To see if anyone was going for my stash. The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow Made me feel like the day I got my first blow. Ma took out her dentures for that one, I'm telling you it was freakin awesome.... When what to my wondering eyes should appear, But a miniature sleigh, and eight fucking reindeer. With a little old driver, so red and so thick, I knew it was Santa, that fat fucking prick. Faster than my eviction notice his reindeer they came, And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by their faggoty names! "Now Dasher! now Dancer! now Prancer and Vixen! On, Comet! On, Cupid! Donner get the fuck off of Blitzen! To the top of the porch! To the top of the wall! Let's put on our sweatpants and head for the mall!" As dry leaves that before my gas-powered leafblower fly, Those reindeer flew up in the air and one took a shit in my eye. So up to the house-top those faggot reindeer flew, With the sleigh full of toys, and that Fat prick too.

57: And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof The prancing and pawing of each little hoof. It was like a reindeer circle jerk up there. What the fuck! As I drew in my head and was turning around, In through the window the fat bastard came with a bound. He was dressed like a pimp, from his head to his toes, With his clothes all torn by bitches and hoes. A bundle of Toys he had flung on his back, And his fly was open so I saw his wrinkled little sack. I just about puked right there, Im telling you. That thing was like a big white hairy fucking raisin. The stump of a crack pipe he held tight in his teeth, And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath. He had a fat flabby face and a huge stinking gut, He farted when he laughed, and I plugged my nose shut! He was chubby and plump, a right stinky old elf, And I laughed when I saw him, and said, bitch, why don"t you wash yourself! A wink of his eye and a twist of his head, I thought he wanted to grab my ears and fuck with my head. But he said fuck all, but went straight to work, And dropped some shitty toys, then turned with a jerk. And laying his fingers aside of his nose, And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose! He sprang to his sleigh, to the homo reindeer gave a whistle, And away they all flew like when I cough up some gristle. But I heard him exclaim, 'ere he drove out of sight, "Happy Christmas to all, except for jews and towelheads and niggers, and to all a good-fucking-night!

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  • By: julia j.
  • Joined: about 7 years ago
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  • Title: Blank Canvas
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  • Started: about 7 years ago
  • Updated: about 7 years ago