BC: THAT IS THE TRUE STORY OF JACK AND THE BEANSTALK
FC: THIS IS THE TRUE STORY OF JACK AND THE BEANSTALK
1: INTRODUCTION | The story of Jack and the Beanstalk has been told many times over the years, but is the story exactly what happened, or was Jack trying make himself sound like a hero. This version of the fairytale will tell the giant's point of view.
2: FEE-FI-FO-FUM. Man I love saying that. Everybody thinks that's scary, but it's just my trademark. I want to be known for something. Another thing, that story, Jack and the Beanstalk, the one that's given me a really bad reputation, it's all wrong. This is the true story of me very charming self and that monster of a human. | CHAPTER ONE
3: I was going through my daily routines (eating, sleeping, eating, sleeping) when I heard a me wife bring a kid in. I was very friendly and hospitable, however hard it was, but as hard as I tried he was still afraid of me. What a silly person. Anyway, I turned around to get something for us to eat when he took me golden chicken and scurried back down the beanstalk like a mouse. Ooh that made me angry. But being the kind, gentle person that I am (plus having 21 other golden chickens) I let him go.
4: It was lunch the next day. I had already eaten all of me enormous eggs for breakfast. Thanks to that little rat yesterday it was 21 eggs not 22. Me wife said to me last night that if that kid came back eat him. But being the kind, gentle person that I am I calmed her down and told her that if he came back I would reason with him. | CHAPTER TWO
5: Well that kid did come back eventually. Just like I said to me wife, I reasoned with him. It seemed to work, so again I turned around to get us something to eat, and the sneak did the same thing again, except this time he stole me harp. That time he went too far and made me too angry, so I decided to teach him a lesson, not physically of course, I hate violence. So I chased him all the way to the beanstalk. I started to climb down after him, shouting at him the whole way. Then, being the foolish little brat that he was, he chopped the beanstalk down and it came plummeting down with me on it. I tried to jump off, but I was too late. I died along with the beanstalk. And knowing that there was nobody alive that could correct his story, Jack got everyone believing that I was mean and he was a hero for killing me. What a brat.