When writing a sympathy card, your goal is to simply provide comfort to the grieving person. This does not mean that it has to be an awe-inspiring piece of literature. You do not have to include any inspirational quotes or poems. Instead, you should:

Keep the message short and sweet
Write in first-person point of view
Be empathetic

Things to Avoid

We also found many online opinions about what not to say in a sympathy card. One person, in particular, stood out the most to us. Based on their own personal experience of losing a nephew, they shared the three things that you should avoid:

"It'll get easier."
"There's some higher power making decisions."
"They're in a better place unless she's religious and he was sick for a long time."

If you are having a difficult time finding the right words to say in a sympathy card, here are a few tips to help get you started.

If you Know the Recipient Well

If you have a close relationship with the recipient of the card, you should add a sentence or two to offer additional support to that person. Some examples could include:

"If you need someone to talk to, I am just a phone call away."
"Let me know when you are free so we can go to your favorite coffee shop to talk."
"I am very sorry for the pain you are feeling right now. If there is anything that I can do, don't hesitate to let me know."

If You Don't Know the Recipient Well

Add at least one sentence that briefly explains who you are and how you knew their loved one.

"I have worked with your mother for many years at the bank. She had such a warm and friendly personality and will be missed by the entire branch."
"Your father and I attended the same high school. He will always be remembered as one of the greatest basketball players that St. Mary's High School has ever seen."
"I used to live in your sister's neighborhood. She always gave me the best advice on how to spruce up my flower garden."

Consider Your Relationship with the Deceased

Many people online had a lot of great advice about what to write in a sympathy card. However, we found someone that detailed the perfect thing to say that could be used whether or not you knew the person who passed away.

"Dear [Name], [Husband and I] were very sorry to hear about the passing of your grandad. (If you knew the deceased person, include a sentence or two a la, 'he was always so nice when we met.'I fondly remember seeing him at your birthday party,' or I know he will be missed deeply'.) Our thoughts are with you and your family."

Sympathy Card Examples

When Someone Loses a Spouse

"My deepest condolences for the loss of your husband."
"Your wife always brought humor and happiness to the office. She will be truly missed."
"You two shared a special bond. Jake was more than just your spouse. He was your best friend and partner who will always be a part of you."
"It is extremely difficult to lose a spouse. Wishing you peace and comfort during this time."
"I am very sorry to hear the news about your wife. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers."
"I cannot begin to imagine the pain you are feeling right now, but I am here if you need someone to talk to."
"Bill was a great friend. I remember when he used to dress up as Santa Claus for Christmas and listen patiently as each child came up to him to tell them what they wanted. He would always put other people's happiness above his own. And he loved to make people smile."
"Your wife was truly one of a kind. She will forever be missed by the many people who loved her."

When Someone Loses a Sibling

"There is nothing that compares to the bond that siblings share. I am very sorry to hear about your loss."
"Your sister was a kind and caring person. She will be greatly missed by many people."
"I am very sad to hear about the passing of your brother. He was a special person that touched the lives of many people."
"I am very sorry to hear about your sibling. You and your family are in my thoughts during this difficult time."
"Your sibling is the one person that is able to genuinely understand you. The two of you share a lifetime of memories that will not be forgotten."
"We are sorry to hear about the passing of your sister. We share in your sorrow."

When Someone Loses a Parent

"I am sorry to hear the news about your mother. I was lucky to have known her and she will forever be missed."
"Your dad was such a patient and compassionate man. I am so very sorry for your loss."
"Your mom was such a kind-hearted person. She changed the lives of so many people and her memory will continue to live on."
"Your dad was such a funny and caring guy. I still remember many of the jokes that he would tell us when we were teenagers."
"Your mother was loved by so many people and brought such joy to everyone that she met. I am sorry for your loss."
"Your father always talked about how proud he was of you and your siblings. Please accept my most heartfelt condolences during this trying time."
"You and your mother had such a special bond. May the memory of your kind and sweet mother bring you peace and comfort."
"May the memory of your father live on in the hearts of the many people who loved him."
"I am very sorry for your loss. Please remember that you have so many friends that love you and are here for you."

When Someone Loses a Child

"There are no words to describe the pain you must be feeling right now. Please know that we send our love and we are here for you."
"Your daughter was a beautiful and wonderful person. She filled our lives with so much joy and will always be remembered by the many people who loved her."
"Please accept my sincerest condolences on the passing of your son. His incredible memory will continue to live in our hearts."
"I am very sorry that you have to endure this type of heartbreak. Know that your family is in our thoughts and prayers."
"Nothing can compare to the love that a parent has for their child. We share in your sorrow and wish you peace and healing."
"Though your son was only on this Earth for a short time, he was able to touch many lives. He was a wonderful person and will be dearly missed."
"There is no pain that can compare to the pain of losing a child. You have my deepest sympathy and constant support."

When Someone Loses a Pet

"I am very sorry to hear about the passing of your pet. He was always such a joy to be around."
"Fluffy was such a sweet and joyful cat. We are all going to miss her."
"I know how much your dog meant to you. I am very sorry to hear about his passing."
"Fido was more than just a pet, she was a best friend that was always there when you needed her. Please know that we are truly sorry for your loss."
"I know your dog has a special place in your heart. Sending you love and healing during this difficult time.
"Your cat will always be remembered as one of the friendliest pets I have ever met. I am sorry for your loss."
"Your dog was more than just a pet. He was a family member and will be missed by us all."

General Condolence Phrases

If you are sending a condolence letter to a co-worker or other acquaintance that you don't know very well, it may be best to keep the message extremely short and to the point. Some examples could include:

"Sorry for your loss."
"I hope you are surrounded by love during this difficult time."
"Sending love and comfort during this difficult time."
"My sincere condolences."
"With our deepest sympathy."
"Keeping you in our thoughts during this difficult time."
"Wishing you peace, love, and comfort."
"Our hearts go out to you during this difficult time."
"We are shocked and heartbroken to hear the devastating news."

These small messages may seem too impersonal, but sometimes, a small gesture like this can make someone feel much better. A person once asked the Reddit community if getting a simple "I'm sorry for your loss" message actually helped to provide comfort to the person. One commenter replied by saying, "It helped me, just knowing that others care even a little bit."